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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?      Home login  
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 Giantrican
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 1
At what age do you Just Give Up?Page 1 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
I am in my early 30s and I guess I have thought about this for a long time, what do you do when you are pushing 40 do you give up on starting a family? I know a lot of the ladies are having kids later on in life but serious I mean do you want to be in your 60s take care of a teenage child? When does the pickiness End, and you start thinking about really settling down with the Right Person or Do you Just Give Up? Your thoughts on this issue?
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 2
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:02:50 PM
OP, you lived a quiet and trouble free life until now and you’re now wondering how you could make everything complicated? I’m 43, I have no kids and got a vasectomy yesterday. Do you know how crazy and difficult it is at your age to find someone to date? Never mind a long lasting relationship. Average relationship last 3 years and I’m sure it’s on the decrease. What do you want? Fall in love, make kids? Just so she leaves you for someone else in 2 years, drag your ass in court for all you have and have your pay checks garnished for the next 18 years? That’s if the kids choose not to go to post secondary school. Come on OP, Make sense, consider yourself lucky and snap out of it!
 camper28
Joined: 7/30/2009
Msg: 3
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:46:20 PM
wow someone is slightly bitter on the post above mine.

It seems that people do not want to settle down anymore and just date 300 guys and it's unfortunate for us guys that want to start a family and have kids but hey you just have to keep chugging along and maybe someone special will come along.

as for me I want to be married by the time I am 30 (16 months away) and then in a year or 2 past that I want kids so I hear ya
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 4
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:48:27 PM
You should call it quits around 36 years old. No hope after that.
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 5
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:54:28 PM
“wow someone is slightly bitter on the post above mine.”

Why would I be bitter? I made that choice! Why in the hell would I want to make my life complicated? I walked away after years in relationships because I refused to have kids! Power to you if this is the lifestyle you want and are ready to deal with the aftermath. It has nothing to do with bitterness but a choice based on common sense (something many seem to be missing those days).

“as for me I want to be married by the time I am 30 (16 months away) and then in a year or 2 past that I want kids so I hear ya”

OMG, you better leave your computer and get out there in the “real” world! You just joined this site. I’ve been here for 6 years. Come back in a few years and tell us about your experience.... we will see who’s bitter!
 JC8866
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 6
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 5:44:56 PM
just have fun make money and spend it on younger hot women.. don't have kids and just party.. thats what you need to do.. its hollow yes at first but its better than nothing.. haha
 SuperFunGuy
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 7
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:26:38 PM
Maybe when the dinosaurs start roaming around the earth once again.
 twistee
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 8
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:46:05 PM
Your in your early 30's I had always said if I didn't have kids by the time I was 30 I wouldnt have them but now I have 3 and I love them I'm 36 yrs My ex is 56 yrs and our youngest child is three yrs I think if you find the right one it doesn't matter how old you are as long as you care, provide and love them age doesn't matter where have you been looking for women I hope not in the bars or night clubs try the laundry mat there's always women in there would you consider going with someone who already has a kid It's an idea and at least she'd already knows what lies ahead and can help you dealing with the change of lifestyle
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 9
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:51:08 PM
Twistee, what i find intresting is that the father of your kids is your EX already... You mentioned 30 and then 36 so at the most you two been togher for 6 years. Dont take it wrong im not trying to be an A** but i think the main problems is that most of the time it never lasts. I would do my best to never have kids unless i feel 200% that it would last... I guess thats one reason i dont have kids yet and as im here on POF i guess i were right as well about the women i dated.
As about giving up you can do that any time you feel like it. But dont forget you can change your mind later on and start looking again.
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 10
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:09:28 PM
"Twistee, what i find intresting is that the father of your kids is your EX already... "

That's the whole point of my post. Just not worth the risk!
 figaro
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 11
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:15:08 PM
I am really surprised that there are so many men out there that want to be married and have kids, but haven't found the "right person". It seems like we are now in a time period of male and female role reversal. Anyhow-have you ever considered adoption? You could even adopt an older child or teenager. You could be a foster parent and see how that suits you.
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 12
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:24:19 PM
that is the problem...negativity...and i know two individuals who have found their parners in their fifties...and it just happens
do not look
do your own thing
and it is going to happen
and if god wants you to be on your won...it is going to happen...take care
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 13
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:32:14 PM
“that is the problem...negativity...”

You have kids and are separated! Who got custody? Who kept the house? And who is paying child support? In Canada, men always lose in court. It’s due to the “Pendulum Effect”. The Pendulum is slowly coming back to the middle where is should be but the damage is done and left men with nothing for decades. This explains so much negativity which is perfectly understandable. Knowing all this, I always refused to have kids and thank God everyday!
 lovemysox27
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 14
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:53:17 PM
I am 29 and just gave up. I have realized I am not going to get the type of guy I want so id rather be alone then settle.
 lovemysox27
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 15
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:55:07 PM
Bullcrap men want to screw women and thats it
 Giantrican
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 16
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 10:02:14 PM
I dont mind a woman to have a kid, I actually would prefer it a bit I find a lot of ladies that have children to take care of are a lot more honest in there wants out of life. I just see lately its not getting any better. I am giving myself 2 more years if I dont marry or start a family in that time I will get the Vasectomy, and just be a chronic dater and let the cards fall where they may....
 lovemysox27
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 17
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 10:04:54 PM
Alot of us dont want kids because they cost too much and are pretty bad behaved these days , parents let their kids get away with murder, plus too expensive.
 Giantrican
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 18
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 10:06:12 PM
Wow, you cant give up on dating you are 29 just the guys you are looking for and you want arent around the corner. You still have loads of time ahead of you keep your head up hun, you will find the right guy I believe that. But I also think that we are all too picky, all I want is to just fall in love with the right one woman...No more BS or Games just someone to be real with everday....
 ableaussie
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 19
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 10:06:51 PM
Not me,disabled and horny as ever and still have some fans.
 lovemysox27
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 20
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 10:13:02 PM
I want what I want and i wont settle. IM too old for the guys I am interested in.
 renoirs_dream
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 21
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:42:23 PM
Guyd42 has it about right... lol

If you want Kids then consider ADOPTING!!! they need love! They need to have a safe home!

Women just want your money after they pop out a few it seems now adays! Adoption gives kids a real chance at life and you are their provider. That way you have no woman there to threaten you with divorce and take the kids away....

Also remember that the older a woman is more likely they are to have kids that are Autistic... Read up on it !!!

 annabella1973
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 22
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 2:03:56 AM
Men can father children into their 80's...I think if you really wanted children, you shouldn't give up on it. I also think it's harder for women as we get older. I've given myself until 37 and at this point, it's just not gonna happen for me. But I'm ok with it.

A friend of mine just had a set of twins and one came out deformed - it's a reality as you get older - you run the risk of having something wrong with your child. Don't have children unless you're willing to be there for them.

And aside from having your own kids, there is adoption or marrying someone with kids already.
 alllllllrightythen
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 23
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:25:16 AM
OP, I'm confused about something. Your profile says you already HAVE a child.......so umm.....haven't you ALREADY started your family?
 MePlusTwo
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 24
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:49:50 AM
Also remember that the older a woman is more likely they are to have kids that are Autistic... Read up on it !!!
....which apparently is more than you have actually done; as evidenced by you making that statement. Whilst you actually "read up" on the study you refer to, you might want to also read up on the 2006 study that posited that there is in fact a correlation between older men and higher occurrences of autism - MUCH higher rates of autism in fact than in the population in general and than found in the study of mothers over 35.


Bullcrap men want to screw women and thats it
...says she who has her breasts all but hanging out on her profile and some sort of 'naughty schoolgirl' shot; added to a profile that screams bitter, negative and angry.

Here's a thought maybe your inability to meet the "right" guy is because the first impression you create is far from positive or attractive.

Seriously some of you are living proof of "it's not me, it's them syndrome". It's no wonder at all that you have found dating and relationships such a terrible and/or non-existent experience.


When does the pickiness End, and you start thinking about really settling down with the Right Person
See, that statement completely contradicts itself. The whole point of being "picky" *is* to find the "right person".

As to when you "give up"? Different for every one. For me personally I wouldn't like to be trying to/having a baby after 40. But it's easy for me to say that; since I had mine at 35 & 37. Had I been single and childless and turning 40, I honestly don't know how I'd feel.
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 25
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 9:37:23 AM
The whole point of being "picky" *is* to find the "right person".

No, we know what this is about; fantasy and unrealistic expectations. You can’t shop for a partner with your list of options like you shop for a new car. This is what people do on here. I want it all or I don’t want it! This is exactly why online dating doesn’t work and cause nothing but bitterness and deception. How many happy stories do we here on forums? There are obvious reasons for that

There is no such thing a settling. It’s called making accepting compromises. Those who are serious (the rare few on here) know what it means. .
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?