| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 3:37:44 AM | I have been a single parent for 11 years now and have been helped with my diy around the house, through out my time alone. Most of the time men have helped or offered because they want more from me, in a romantic way perhaps. I at times need some help but really don't like to feel obligated so have offered money and a meal or any thing of a distant nature, in return, but deep down most of the time they may want you to like them or maybe they want sexual favours. We as single parents with our own houses, have to put ourselves into this situation and many times know the man fancies us. I of course have said no so often and managed the tasks myself, as I hate being obligated to them and being romantic might be the last thing in my thoughts towards them.
We learn to avoid the constant offers of help and get on with it on our own. I am lucky that I have found two men who like me for me and they help me if I am in any difficulty. I know some ladies still fight this constant battle with men who offer assistance. I still get constant offers of help but am reluctant to say yes because I don't fancy them, and it saves all the hassle. Some men offer assistance to get into our good books. Not many will do things because they think you are a great friend and don't like to see you struggling. I am sure most have stories to tell about the assistance they have been offered for no payment! | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 3:57:01 AM | I've been single, on and off, for about a million years.
I dislike feeling any kind of obligation to anyone, and I'm not so thick as to not be able to read instructions, so I am a self-taught handywoman.
I've learned to do most things myself, have a full compliment of power tools etc, and if I do have to get help then I pay for it. Keeps it simple.
The only time I go against this Life Rule is when a tasty bit of trouser offers to sort out my plumbing........ | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:19:00 AM | in all honesty..i think men like helping a lady out ....sex or no sex..........
iv been shopping,...got on a bus and a guy has offerd to help with bags.......no sex there.
the guy next door has driven me to(he has a van) pick up furniture i have bought(i`m a ebay addict)never once has he winked and said ....you can pay me back later....
i like doing most things myself.......but if i need help i will ask,...........no bloke has ever asked me ......to do him a favor in return...................except make a cup of tea..xxxx | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:21:43 AM | I'm the same as SJS on this one. I have occasionally been offered help but always say thanks but no thanks. No worries about favours being sought in return. It might be different if I knew a guy as a close friend first and foremost and I could exchange help ie I could fix his computer or do some sewing and he could fix my car but that's the only way I would work.
I have my own toolkit that many men would envy. Can do a lot of basic DIY myself including plumbing in the new sink in the kitchen. I do all my own decorating etc. A lot of jobs I do are through necessity not because I always want to do them.
I look things up on the internet and follow guidelines from there or will ask the guys at work how to go about a task (I have to admit that the women at work can't do anything for themselves). I have made many mistakes along the way and a lot of jobs which an experienced guy could do in 10 minutes might take me 3 days, but I get it done. I am also good at improvising.
What I can't do I hired a local handyman to do for me and paid the going rate. If I can't afford to get it done - it doesn't get done.
Last year I excelled even myself and got a huge amount of satisfaction when I landscaped mums garden complete with stone circles and fancy paving. I'd never laid paving in my life - nearly killed me but everyone admires it. | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:24:32 AM | After being single for a few years I have managed to tackle a few DIY jobs myself although the B & D Hammer Drill is still a big surprise. The jobs I cant do my old dad tackles or I save the money and pay a tradesman. Then I am under no obligation to offer anything other then a cheque or cash. Tea and hobnobs I give out of courtesy.
A nice guy wouldnt expect anything. | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:37:15 AM | Yes I feel you know when you have to keep it constantly distant, And I have never had to pay for it in their way either. I have even climbed my 24ft conifer trees every year and chopped them, alot of neighbours often thought I should have been a man when they see me up there sawing away hanging on for dear life..
I do believe it is better to save and pay for the things to be done.
I am not saying that some pay for assistance in kind, I just hated being in the situation where they will not take money for their help and made you feel obligated... Reason why I have personally reclined from any offers from alot of men lately.... I do things for people for nothing all the time and really am not looking for anything in return.. Just love to help if I have the time.
It is good we all have learned the skill with a drill etc.. But some ladies will not learn and have no money to pay either. I am just quoting here that some men use their skills to get into ladies lives, if they are allowed. I have heard enough stories to state this! | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:37:43 AM | I strongly urge you to learn to use a drill. They're quite simple. Hold tight, pull the trigger.
DIY 101
Shelves:
think about the objects you wish to place on the shelf/shelves so you can judge the distance required between them.
Mark out the top shelf just below the height you can reach by outstretching your arm and put a mark on the wall.
Measure down the distance required between shelves and mark on the wall.
Draw a line on the wall at each mark using a level.
hold up the shelf or shelf bracket on the level line and using a pencil, mark the screw holes.
For a solid wall, drill with a 7mm bit and put in a brown plug. Screw the bracket to the wall using a 50mm 8 guage screw/s
For a plasterboard wall, mark out as above, and if it is a light duty shelf, then use these self drilling plasterboard fixings:
http://plasplugs.com/fixings-self-drive.html
For heavier duty, use toggle fixings.
For VERY heavy duty, I recommend cutting a vertical slot out of the plasterboard and fitting a timber 'patras' behind. Keep the piece of plasterboard you took out, screw it back to the patras and re fill.
To fit the patras:
cut a 100mm sq or round hole in plasterboard, take a lenght of timber 50mmx25mm as long as required to take all your shelves. put on some no nails to one side of timber. insert timber into hole, up the wall with the no nails facing you. press the timber back to the plasterboard.
screw through the plasterboard into the timber to pull it tight to the wall and leave to dry.
Simples.
NB!!
If you DO go down the handyman route, porn film ettiquette demands that you offer to hold his tool for him. | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:43:15 AM | I'd be grateful for offers of help.
I have a best buddy who will help with a few bits when I've needed it and asked him.
If I'm seeing someone it's about 50/50 and some are very helpful..some very not.
Most of the past (almost) 5 years I've been single and have received no offers of help at all.
If someone does help me out I'll tend to offer to pay for a meal or something similar in return.
Those who have done the odd thing for me..well..they've never expressed an interest so I've no idea if there was any kind of interest there. | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:46:23 AM | Im quite self sufficient but I do have friends that will help me out if I really cant do something. I always offer to pay but they never accept or they may take a small amount just to keep me happy.
Once upon a time my ex used to do things for me thinking he might get a shag out of it but when it didnt happen he really couldnt be bothered to help me out at all! | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:46:50 AM | Mitzi - get some earplugs or an mp3 player and get used to drilling an old bit of wood or a concrete slab first until you are used to the noise and action of the drill
Where there is a will there is a way :o)
I found a very useful site online called DIY Doctor - can't paste the link cos I think that is against forum rules. Worth a look for all the budding DIY hopefuls - men as well as women | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:51:49 AM | I've got friends who are mechanics, electricians, plumbers and an accountants and have used all their skills and none have wanted anything in return and did out of friendship. I always offer to pay the going rate and would expect too but generally its agreed that we'll go for a night out and i'll pay or something similar.
I offer my skills to women who are friends and would not expect anything in return, if I had spent a long time helping or a lot of hard work I would probably expect for them to cook for me or a 4 pack of beer but definitely not sexual favours and don't believe that in the main when offer is made that is what they expect. | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:57:24 AM | So for those who know why won't my outside light work ?
My son (bless him) bought it and put it up, following all the instructions, but we cant get it to work properly ..
There are 4 wires, bluey/grey one, dark brown one, pure copper wire, and another one !
All connected, but it wont flippin work, and yes I have checked the bulb !!
I found a very useful site online called DIY Doctor - can't paste the link cos I think that is against forum rules. Worth a look for all the budding DIY hopefuls - men as well as women
Thank you for that will have a look .. | |
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| I still get constant offers of assistance but I know they often hope for some sort of payment.
Posted: 9/5/2009 5:21:48 AM | I am a single parent and I have never asked a man to do any DIY without paying him properly. I own my own house and the upkeep is a real bummer. For the gas central heating, plumbing, and electrics etc, I pay BG a maintenance fee every month so if anything goes wrong they come to do it. I have paid warranties on all my large electrical items and I make sure a portion of my wages goes to a fund for emergencies like locksmiths and other stuff. Ive learnt to do simple wiring jobs, decorating, gardening etc myself....anything a regular man can do women can do just as well remember that.
You have to be resourceful if you are to keep self respect. | |
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