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 Texannagirl
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 1
Why would a guy string a girl along?Page 1 of 1    
I want to know a guys view of why a guy would string a girl along. Why does he stay in contact with a female but throws a fence up around himself? Is he afraid, got another girl friend on the side, always looking for something better around the corner or had a bad experience in the past? Just give me your view.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 2
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 8:21:13 AM
Yeah, maybe.

Or....? But how come you can ask us, but not him?
 skillian
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 3
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 8:24:02 AM
Did you not like the answer you got yesterday?
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 8:24:16 AM
I think it is your own perception that somebody would "string you along"....
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 5
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 8:25:09 AM
I think its not limited to guys, but there are certainly a lot of guys who do it. The most compelling reason being leaving you as a 'backup plan' while they search for their dreamgirl. They end up taking the good woman in their life for granted to chase after an ephemeral possibility of getting their supermodel physicist. I think our culture reinforces this because over the years we moved from 'settling down' to 'don't just settle' and the media shows images of airbrushed impossibly attractive women real women cannot compete with but that men somehow think exist in the wild. We are a culture that has forgotten to count its blessings and everyone is constantly looking over the fence to see if the grass is greener.


Question is, why do you still allow it. Don't be an option when you made him a priority. You deserve better.
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 6
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 8:31:49 AM
Another way to look at this "Why would a woman (or man for that matter) remain with a man/woman that is stringing him/her along"?

Also, how would you define stringing along? Does he cancel on dates? Not call when he says he would? If that is some of the scenario, then the really big question is why would you want to stay around someone like that?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 9:29:06 AM
This is another example of asking a general question about something that can only be answered about specific instances. As someone else pointed out, you say 'stringing along,' but you aren't specific as to what you mean by that.
I'm solution oriented, so I think the only reason to ask a question, is to help you figure out what to do. I can't think of any general answer to your question that would lead you to a SOLUTION. You can't "fix" stringers, and you can't predict them, so when you find them, just MOVE ON.
 honeyangel1985
Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 8
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 9:29:13 AM
A guy will string a woman along if she allows him to.
 jasrobi
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 9
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 9:33:35 AM
nice generalization... women do it too, and i'd guess they do it a LOT more!! And I don't care that I am also generalizing.

I would never string a girl along because I am a real man, but since i'm not an ass, I'm single.
 Jackal123
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 10
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 9:41:27 AM
99% of the time, you are only getting "strung along" because you are allowing yourself to be. Stop playing the victim and realize you are not helpless. You can leave at any time.
 ryansmsk
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 11
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 10:07:24 AM
sometimes guys on here have more than one girl on the go , actually i'd say most have a couple so yeah they do things like this and date multiple people . and some aren't looking for serious commitments rate away , they'd like to date but not get serious
 DemonDingleBerry
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 12
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 10:34:56 AM

Why does he stay in contact with a female but throws a fence up around himself?

Because he gets enough of what he really wants from her, without having to do anything about or with the "fence."
Because it works for him.


Is he afraid, got another girl friend on the side, always looking for something better around the corner or had a bad experience in the past?

Could be.
Could be his "past" is just another victim to the personality that finds they never have to do anything about the "fence" they put up.
Or the fence is just a symptom of something else that also affected his "past."
 NerdStatus
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 13
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 10:39:53 AM
A better question: Why are you letting yourself be strung along??
 LD44
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 14
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 11:40:17 AM
sounds like you dont mind being a yoyo. if you ask me he collects yoyo's
 bwana217
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 15
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 11:40:58 AM

I think its not limited to guys, but there are certainly a lot of guys who do it. The most compelling reason being leaving you as a 'backup plan' while they search for their dreamgirl. They end up taking the good woman in their life for granted to chase after an ephemeral possibility of getting their supermodel physicist. I think our culture reinforces this because over the years we moved from 'settling down' to 'don't just settle' and the media shows images of airbrushed impossibly attractive women real women cannot compete with but that men somehow think exist in the wild. We are a culture that has forgotten to count its blessings and everyone is constantly looking over the fence to see if the grass is greener.


That's perspicacious and accurate. I often see "questions" on various dating fora to the effect of "what is your dream girl?" I point out that this idealization does not and cannot exist.


Question is, why do you still allow it. Don't be an option when you made him a priority. You deserve better.


Alas, this is more of the same. The social milieu you just describes is an emergent property of a bunch of people who think in terms of "I deserve." This is the root of the problem. Doing it even more is unlikely to fix it. In fact, it's unlikely to do anything but lead to further distrust.
 _central_scrutinizer_
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 16
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 12:32:53 PM
why a guy would string a girl along


For sex and/or as a backup in case his real love interest doesn't work out.

Is someone stringing you along?

 amusing_muse
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 17
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 1:22:28 PM
Because he might like hanging out with you for certian reasons but isn't 100% into you. He probably is hanging out with you until someone he is really into comes along. Some people do it because they are lonely and they find some sort of connection with you but again, they aren't into you 100%. And yes, women do it to. You only feel "stringed" along when you are interested in them but they aren't as interested back. It sucks when it's done to us but we do it too.
 1kindMan4U
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 18
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 1:24:40 PM
Why wont YOU take the obvious hint and end it? You are getting signals loud and clear. You dont need a forum to know what to do, just do it.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 19
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 1:26:22 PM
I'm not a guy but as one who was in a committed loving relationship and is now being constantly contacted by a guy I broke up with, I would say that he wants to keep the benefits of having you and combine it with the benefits of having multiple other women at the same time.

Whether it was sex or companionship or love, he wants to continue getting that from you while he also has relationships with other women.
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 20
Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 2:04:05 PM
I think the better question would be
Why would a girl allow a guy to string her along???

I believe you only have yourself to look at if he is stringing you along.
 Hellfreezer
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 21
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Why would a guy string a girl along?
Posted: 9/6/2009 2:42:23 PM
I think the reason people (and keep in mind that it is definitely not a gender exclusive trait) would keep someone around even when they aren't interested in them is that they simply don't want to be alone. So they'll stay with someone who will do until they can get someone better and that's the same reason people let themselves stay in relationships where they know their partner doesn't really care.
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