| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/7/2009 10:07:12 AM | I know we all have our own definitions of love... such a basic beautifully primal feeling, strange how it comes with so many complications...
I know in this age range we are all wiser, busier, more apt to AVOID games at all costs and some just plain jaded by our previous experiences... but what I really want to know is does that mean we shouldn't hold out for those fantastic FIREWORKS ! I don't mean the LUSTFUL thoughts... I mean when the guy makes your heart skip a beat when he enters the room.
I am concerned that at my age I am blinded by a grocery list of practical needs when it comes to love... do you know it's real by feeling? Or do you just take someone that "will do" because you know from experience that in time the fireworks fade? | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/7/2009 12:37:25 PM | Fantasy will always have you believing you can have better.
Reality is embracing the good and dealing with the rotten.
Only one type of relationship is sustainable and it does not involve fireworks and prince charming. | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/7/2009 2:45:19 PM | ^^^Yes it does !!! There is always room for fireworks and prince charming! I too thought it would never come for me - but when I really didn't think it was going to be a part of my life - he was there right before my eyes! 
Heck I have heard of people meeting in retirement homes and finally finding the perfect person of their dreams!!
Never say Never!!! | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/7/2009 3:02:22 PM |
I know in this age range we are all wiser, busier, more apt to AVOID games at all costs and some just plain jaded by our previous experiences... but what I really want to know is does that mean we shouldn't hold out for those fantastic FIREWORKS !
It's possible, as a younger person, we ignored all the nonsense and responded to the fireworks. Given the divorce rate I think there is validity with my reasoning.
As a mature person, we've progressed to the point (most of us, anyway) where we can spot the nonsense prior to letting ourselves get carried away with the fireworks.
True love doesn't have a chronological barrier. However, as we age we also become more demaning with the "qualifications" one must aspire to. | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/7/2009 5:00:33 PM | Fireworks ??
What the Fvck is whit fire works!!!!
Holly hell now women want fire works too !
No bloody wonder you women are still single !LOL
Look back in my 20's&30's I would have told most of you females to F -off with your mind games and not take a second in saying so !Today in my 50's I will still tell you women with your mind games to go F- it , but I'll give you a chance also to come clean & be real.
But yes I still see the same ol mind games with women who are now mature so they appear yet you still play the games ! Look ladies your over 30 and time to stop the mind game bull crap!
You say you want fire works & the take your breathe away guy yet when he's there you pull the games and he leaves in a hurry !
Yes many of you are devorcee's and now you got a way big chip on your shoulders.
And now you expect perfection in your next mate and if its not there you bolt like lightening in a thunder storm ! | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/7/2009 5:28:44 PM | Hey OP,
I want the fireworks!!!! I also want the grocery list!!! If that means that I stay single for the rest of my life looking for it then so be it.
That being said, the fireworks that once went off when I met a boy/man have changed. Now it’s more about their soul then their looks. If you look hard enough you can find beauty in everyone, and those are the fireworks I am looking for!
Note to Filmbear8:
It’s not about mind games, it’s about what people deserve in life. Why shouldn’t I have it all? I work hard; play nice with others, ect…
I am over 30, divorced, with a “chip on my shoulder” and deserve fireworks!
Just as someone as bitter as you deserves fireworks too (just may be not as pretty as mine).
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/7/2009 7:29:18 PM | Just as someone as bitter as you deserves fireworks too (just may be not as pretty as mine). Haha.
It’s not about mind games, it’s about what people deserve in life. Why shouldn’t I have it all? I work hard; play nice with others, ect…
Remember that having it all, isn't all good. It may feel like it at times, but "all" includes a heaps of turd so big it takes a log time to dig out of it.
Life isn't Disney for anyone. Making the best of life involves being able to deal with that big pile of firmbear when it lands on us, and coming out better for it in the end. There are no fireworks in poo and you wouldn't want them going off there anyway. | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/8/2009 9:52:58 AM | Waiting for fireworks is crazy, imho!  Like fireworks, the anticipation is captivating and the show is spectacular, but they don't last long and fizzle out just as quick.
The fireworks will either happen or not. Though he may not be fireworks to you, perhaps you are his fireworks? Ah -- how much more complicated can it become -- want mutual fireworks!
Love with the fireworks isn't always practical. What's more important, in my mind, is what goes on between the ears and beats in the chest. Not looking for perfection (cause I'm sure not perfect! ) The eagerness to see your mate enter the room doesn't necessarily mean there are "fireworks". | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/8/2009 2:11:21 PM | WOW I am really heart sick for the people who really honestly don't think that the fireworks can be there for them in their life - and no it doesn't have to die at all - they can go on forever if you are really honestly in love with your partner. I can honestly say the fireworks for me have been there for 3 straight years - the entire time I have been with my husband!
Why are people so jaded and negative? Let go of past difficulties and the unhealthy relationships you have had because really what you truly desire can and will be there!
I had my share of less than perfect and fireworks free relationships and I too thought for awhile I wasn't worthy or capable of finding such dreams - but hey - turned my thinking around and attracted exactly what I desired! | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/8/2009 4:17:40 PM | [/WOW I am really heart sick for the people who really honestly don't think that the fireworks can be there for them in their life - and no it doesn't have to die at all - they can go on forever if you are really honestly in love with your partner.]
You are so right Leanne
G | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/8/2009 6:28:19 PM | I am not looking for the Disney storybook ending. But fireworks and Disney are not the same.
I am not looking for perfection, and my list of qualities in a partner will be different then the poster before me and after me. I am looking for what I think is important to me.
I am not looking for a knight on a white stallion with some pair of fancy shoes….......... I can buy my own shoes tyvm!
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/11/2009 9:06:40 AM | To the OP ... it's not crazy ... I’ve known ppl who were seniors who when they met each other it was like Victoria day weekend the sparks fell so much lol ... True love can happen at any age and there is nothing wrong with having a list either however the content of that list does.
As we grow older our environment and relationships with ppl in general change. This change starts from the day we are born until the day we die. Granted as we grow older our own personal lists do grow longer but an age range doesn't really apply. A single teen mother will want a man that loves their child just like a mother in her 30's.
Our list is based on our own personal experiences and what we deem as important .. our wants and needs. However what ppl sometimes do is confuse the wants with the needs. As mentioned before someone who has children likely NEEDS someone who likes kids ... where as they may WANT someone a certain interest ... The needs are important .. the wants are simply frosting on the cake.
Just as important as your wants/needs list is that of what you aren't looking for. There are some things that people just can't have in their lives for various reasons but that is different from what they prefer not to have. This is usually even trickier to sort out than your wants/needs.
Also every relationship worth having usually involves some sort of compromise on both parts. The important thing is not to give in on the things that are truly important to you for the sake of not being alone. Too often I've seen ppl who are simply afraid of being alone so they "settle" for someone. The problem is when you do that often it sits in the back of your mind .. did I make the right choice .. could I do better .. etc. This doubt often ends up manifesting itself in things such as jealousy, insecurity, etc because ppl feel .. if I’m not sure about "us" maybe he/she isn't either ... even if they don't really realize that is what they are doing.
So back to the OP ... you can have fireworks at any age and to do so you NEED that list of yours in my opinion. Just be sure that list is what you really need for a relationship to work and if someone fills some of your wants then all the better. To simply settle almost never works in the long run. It may for a time but in the end you can't change who you really are. As much as you try the real you always will come out in the end and if that's not the person they fell in love with then things will likely end. So keep trying. Love is like playing the lottery. Not every ticket is a winner but if you don't play at all you'll never have your big payday. | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/11/2009 5:10:57 PM | Hey "Good For The Soul"... I will tell you this... you picked a darn good title for yourself! You certainly are!
Thanks for that, I find these forums fun and helpful. I think it's so nice that people take time to give advice.
Thanks to everyone! | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/26/2009 6:26:25 PM | Almost 3 years ago, (oct 10, 2006) this (then) 35 year old guy walked into a POF event and met a super hot (then 36) year old girl .
And again, 3 years later we have a great, loving amazing relationship/friendship.
Every day is fireworks. It can happen. | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:04:47 PM | Oh my dear FB, as optimistic as ever. You are soooo jaded, and that is sooo sad. And I don't see where wanting fireworks is playing mind games, but then, like I said, you are sooo jaded.
To the OP, yes, there can still be fireworks no matter what your age - the only problem is, the feelings are not always always mutual. But I do believe if you look for it, you will find it. Love should not be practical, it should be spontaneous and exciting... well at my age anyway, since I am waaaay over 30.....lol.
Personally, I don't think anyway should just settle for the grocery list. Its important in many ways to have the grocery list, but keep looking for the spark that triggers the fireworks.
And again FB, I seem to remember a thread awhile ago where you said people thought you should settle at your age, and you refuse to settle. Perchance it is because you are secretly waiting for the fireworks. And in that I agree with you. Never settle, we all deserve sooo much more.
Just my humble opinion.  | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/27/2009 1:46:20 PM | | As long as you tell yourself you're "blinded by a grocery list of practical needs", you'll continue to behave in such a way. We men pick up on this. An effective way to turn off a guy on a first date is to treat him like you're conducting a job interview with him. Trust me on that one! ;) | |
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| TRUE LOVE OVER 30... IS WAITING FOR FIREWORKS CRAZY?
Posted: 9/27/2009 1:49:47 PM | | ps... fireworks come from within. Our minds and sould are all we have. If you're inable to achieve that 'fireworks' feeling with anyone, maybe the first place one should look for the problem is in the mirror. | |
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