| | How do you let a guy know...Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | ...that you are into sex, without making him think you're a total skank? LoL.
It seems to me as soon as you tell a guy you're into sex, they're ready to jump in bed! And I know that sex is great, and guys can't help themselves but get excited at the thought of it...I get that...girls are naughty, too! Much more so than most guys think we are, I believe.
But, I have had a serious relationship and have a, shall we say, very healthy appetite for sex. But, on the other hand, I have absolutely NO intention of giving it up any time soon. Even when I do find someone I'm really into, I would like to wait a while and make sure there's the possibility of a relationship before going the extra steps to sex.
Any ideas? | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 6:54:34 PM | Why on earth would you NEED to let a guy know you're into sex unless you're trying to use it as some ploy to get something out of him.
OP. Sex is your last priority right now if you are looking for a relationship. Try putting the cart BEHIND the horse instead of ahead of it.
Once you've accomplished a couple of dates where you can at least get to know the person and see if there is a good connection happening, THEN bring up the topic of sexual compatibility.
And for the record, every single woman and man here is "into sex" so it really isn't a very big deal in the grand scheme of things now is it?
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 6:58:20 PM | Well, I'm just trying to figure this out. It seems to me that most guys I start chatting with on here (or anywhere for that matter) go pretty damn fast to the topic of sex. So, if the topic comes up that fast, I just want to be prepared.
I think it's weird that people ask about # of sexual partners, sexual experiences, etc. before even meeting me. I mean, what if we meet and there's less than no attraction from either side? It's such an irrelevant topic at that point. | |
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Posted: 9/7/2009 7:17:33 PM | I'd say that it's a safe assumption that you like sex since it is ingrained in our psyche to like it. Survival of the species necessitates it.
I'd probably just make light of the questions or change the subject if you feel that it's a bit early to talk about it.
Who knew that the first date was too early to ask a girl if she'd fancy being blindfolded and tied to a ceiling fan and then spun around with a beer bottle up her a ss and flogged with a cane? Women are such complicated creatures. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 7:22:31 PM | OP the number of partners you've had is NO ONES business but your own. My standard reply is that its None of their business and I wasnt a virgin before meeting them.
Personally Im not into discussing my sexual preferences until I've met someone I'd like to have sex with. I still wouldnt put the whole lot out there either, what you may have liked with one person isnt necessarily what you'd do with another. Be honest, I'm sure the guy will figure you like sex when you do finally get him into bed and shag his butt off.. 
My general reply to that sort of conversation is that I'd have to meet them and decide I'd have sex with them first. I always think that guys who jump straight into the sex conversation are only after a shag, and really not worth the trouble, they are just players who are horny.
JMO  | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 7:35:41 PM | Interesting example of overlapping between technology and real life. In your first post, you talk about not jumping right into bed. But in your second post, you reveal that this isn't about jumping into bed after all--it's about talking sex online.
The lines are blurring, people. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 7:58:15 PM | | There is no point to go there in discussion. When and if the time comes they will find out that you are "IN" to sex when you get naked, and get a hint that you enjoy it the first time you delve into petting. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 8:00:06 PM | Keep quiet about it. Don't post stuff in the forums about it. And don't try to combine sex with dating. You have the power; abuse it and you'll end up with a carp in your bed. Of course, that can only go so far. The problem is, you can easily form poor relationships based on sex. However, you need to give it up when you find someone you are interested in. That is called "setting" the hook.
You may have to go a few extended test drives before you find someone you are compatible with. You need to weed out men who take you for granted after a few months, slack off, and start looking around. You need to find someone who keeps their interest up, in you. Of course, I'm assuming that you really are into sex, not just another woman who can take it or leave it. A man who is not into sex will drive you nuts, literally, and you will start doing crazy stuff. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 8:22:24 PM | | According to Bill Clinton oral does not constitute sex. Hey if U cant trust the president ( yeah right ) who can U trust. So U could always 69 just to let the pressure off, ya know ? | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 8:31:31 PM | | Sex can be two things, crack cocaine, or the path towards a long lasting relationship. Depending on how you tread it, it will take you there. I am not saying that you should not have sex, but if the guy is too pushy, you can tell all he wants is the sex. If he teases, but holds back, that is better, so tease back, but let it build, don't just jump into it. There is an emotional aspect that needs to form, if you do it before that is created you're nothing but crack cocaine. If you let it form, and I am not saying any particular number of dates, but time together, connecting, feeling what the other one is about. If you use sex, simply for pleasure it will become just crack cocaine, if you use it to seek true intimacy, then it will be a path to something more. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/7/2009 8:55:32 PM | Based on what women write in the forums, guys seem to want to know…
1) if you have a healthy libido, 2) if your sexual preferences are compatible with their own, and 3) if you are likely to have sex with them sometime soon.
You could tell them what you’ve told us – you’ve had a serious relationship. You have healthy appetite for sex. It’s something you enjoy when there's a relationship. If they’re wanting reassurance that you have a normal libido, that should be enough.
If they want to know that your preferences are compatible with their own, tell them as much or little as you feel comfortable with. Or save it for later.
If you suspect they're interested primarily in sex on short notice to the exclusion of anything else, you could tell them you don’t know them well enough to be interested. And if they persist, then you may not be looking for the same kind of relationship. g'luck | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 4:21:26 AM | I think you're trying to get across you want a guy who has a pretty high sex drive and is quite secure with himself but isn't going to dump you after a few sexy times?
Don't whatever you do be too flirty with guys as it might just attract the dogs who want to get their****wet and not give anything back. | |
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Posted: 9/8/2009 4:53:30 AM | Not getting the problem here at all. Why are you wanting to tell them you are into sex? Short of talking to a bunch of monks or nuns that's a given among the human population. If you don't want to talk about sex before meeting them then just don't. If the subject comes up tell them you want to talk about something else or you aren't far enough into knowing them to talk about sex.
No one is forcing you to talk about sex, it sounds more like it is you who wants to raise the subject. Why you would want to do that before actually meeting is beyond me unless it's a major isue with you. If it is such a major issue then you shouldn't have a problem discussing it. | |
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Posted: 9/8/2009 5:23:25 AM | Personally I don't think thats anything that needs to be mentioned very early on.
You could have discussed all kinds of things with the guy, but as soon as you mention sex (early on), they won't even remember what colour your hair is
Ok, I'm kidding, not all guys are like this..lol
If he really wants to get to know you, he'll stick around to find out | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 6:01:12 AM | this really seriously begs the question ... why are you even asking this?
there are a few replies that have a similar thought pattern: Why should you even bring this up ... or who's business is this anyway ... or why would you mention this if you weren't into somebody already (otherwise it just seems you're needlessly teasing someone).
So, the answer is: "without making him think you're a total skank."
My suggestion is you stop orienting your perspective on some male-dominated theme, like women who like sex are skanks. that's total hogwash. If you're into sex, you're into sex. No need to define yourself through some insulting b.s. invented by men to keep their women feeling guilty.
Whether that's a useful analysis or not ... I still don't think you should be defining yourself through some societal perspective. If you like sex, it's generally acceptable -- and normally a private bit of information, by the way. However, if you feel the need to broadcast this (apparently to you ) incredible news, you should be able to do so with the same reckless abandon as anyone else, male or female. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 6:45:45 AM | Information: The man wants to know for future reference, or you want him to know for future reference, for if and when the time comes, that you are for and not against sex.
Seduction: Talking about the subject provides cover for groping.
In the case of the purpose for the discussion being informational, there is no need to talk about it in the first place. Sex is safely assumed to be a mutual interest unless someone has a reason why not. It's this way because by talking about sex, sex comes to mind, which is how sex starts. Talking about sex is the conversational equivalent of taking off your clothes. If your thought is to say something like,
"I want to talk about sex so that you know about me for future reference that if and when the time for it comes, I do like sex very much."
Then the person hearing that will understand it, but also think about having sex now, and the fact that you brought it up, which means you had been thinking about having sex with them as a possibility, for you would not have said such a thing if you already decided there was no possibility with them. In other words, you have just announced that if they play their cards right, they'll get some. If they want some, they will then begin playing their cards in earnest. You have encouraged them to make the attempt.
This is why people leave the subject alone until they know they want to be alone together. It's in how you talk about other things that you're always talking about sex anyway, indirectly, up until the decision gets made, to have sex or not.
If a man starts talking about sex, and you aren't interested, turn him down. If you might be interested, smile, then change the subject. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:10:32 AM |
Simple: Discuss it *after* your heads hit the pillow, not before.
Worst. Advice. EVER.
Well, to the O.P., Guys' conversations usually turn to sex fairly fast, because, let's face it, we're horny beasts. It's in our genes, it's natural, blah blah blah and all those other excuses guys make because we're horny. The point is, tell him exactly what you've told us:
You have a high drive for sexual relations
You are concerned and interested only in being part of a lasting, meaningful relationship
That you want to make sure to "give it up" to the right person
That talking about sex and flirting are fine, but the line is drawn where you say it is.
That should give the person you're talking with a strong grasp that while, in a relationship, you have a very high libido, that it does not, in fact, make you an "easy target." This will scare off the NSA's and FWB's, and interest those men who have a genuine interest in you! | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:12:12 AM |
I think it's weird that people ask about # of sexual partners, sexual experiences, etc. before even meeting me. I mean, what if we meet and there's less than no attraction from either side?
It is weird, but theres loads of weird people on the internet!
If a guy raises the subject of sex before even meeting you then that is all he's after, simple as that. | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 8:04:48 AM | Hi
Having a healthy appetite for sex is a good thing.
But sex is not love.
It is who you are as a person which is important.
Let people know about the inner child the littel girl.
Talk about your goals and ambitions in you life.
Understand your true wants and needs and fulfill those wants and needs.
Understand your spiritual values and embrace and strengthen your conscience.
If you are healed of your past and are able to trust then go into realtionships slowly .
Deep seated healthy realtionships are not obsessive but slow growing processes.
Honesty and trust are important to ehalthy raltionships.
If you make statements about sex to start with that will be considered as that is all there is about you.
People will then tell you what you want to hear so they fulfill their own physical needs
With out any consideration about your emotional needs.
Please be kind and gentle with your self and look after that little child and girl in you
Love
Dave | |
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| How do you let a guy know...
Posted: 9/8/2009 9:10:37 AM | | Personally when Im with the right person there is no such things as a bad time or place to let them know I want them. IMO being into sex is meaningless...Being into sex with the right person ...yea that rocks...when I cant get enough of you...vs enough sex. | |
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