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 Author Thread: Seriously curious about how I make myself sound
 Papillongirl

Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 1
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Seriously curious about how I make myself sound
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:22:33 PM
Ok, I have never asked for help with my profile on a forum before so here we go... I'm wondering what kind of person I make myself out to be in my profile. Maybe I have it worded wrong? To long? To short? Not enough humor? Yikes! So if you have time to help a girl out I would much appreciate it!
 HalftimeDad

Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 2
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Seriously curious about how I make myself sound
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:36:08 PM
Yes, not enough humour.

Poorly structured. One long jumble of stuff. Not really anything there to let us know who you are or why we'd want to date you. (and by "We" I mean guys in general; not old guys)

You have one picture there that you claim was taken in 2009.....but it has a 2007 date stamp.

That was pretty much the only chuckle on the profile.
 SteeldMagnolia

Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 3
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Seriously curious about how I make myself sound
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:18:25 AM
Start with a new headline.... the one you have now speaks of past failure and frustration.
You need something catchy, and/or funny that will draw the reader into your profile.

you should really get rid of the pic Halftimedad was referring to..... and add a couple more.

Youhave a wide variety of interest, use these in your about me section to write in some detail about, to describe who you are.

Delete this:

I am taking suggestions as to what would make you more apt to write me. Apparently I'm doing something wrong. Help! What kind of person does my profile make me out to be and why or why not would you write me? Don't be cruel...I really do want helpful advice :)


Go read this:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1262627.aspx
and try a rewrite. The suggestions there helped me a good deal.

Good Luck
 slybandit

Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 4
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Seriously curious about how I make myself sound
Posted: 9/9/2009 8:30:29 AM
Lose the following:

1. The October 31, 2007 date-stamped shot that you "know" was taken in 2009. Funny, but not so flattering.

(Or, better yet, KEEP it. Use it at the premise for the opening line of your profile. Make it a minimum requirement for emailing you, that their profile be at least as plausible as that photo caption. A better version would be to find a more flattering photo with a datestamp and claim an equally implausible date for it, then do the same thing.)

2. The request for a profile review at the start of the profile.

3. The opening line that makes it sound like you have a track record of being the target of domestic abuse (or, possibly, play in a women's football league.)

4. The closing line that specifies where you live. I may not know where Pomona is. I do, however, know how to locate Mapquest using a keyboard. As you can infer from the fact that I located this website.

5. References to fictional characters, metaphors, and bodies of pseudo-knowledge. And more precisely, I mean Prince Charming, the girl next door, and astrology.

Add the following:

1. Paragraphing.
2. Spell-checking.
3. Humour. (See the paragraph in brackets, above).
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