| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:23:50 AM | Hey guys,
I am now in a relationship and am wondering if I should delete my POF or just make it say that I'm now in a relationship and just looking for friends..I didn't meet this guy on POF and am talking to some people I think I could be good friends with[we talk on POF] but am awaiting their responses now because they haven't been online in a while. Advice would be great! =) | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:38:43 AM | Well if you feel like you could get some friends out of the deal then keep it that way. Stick around. I considered deleting my profile because people in my age range don't take online dating seriously. But... I decided to stick around for the forums. When I'm broke or it's raining out it serves for an entertaining pastime.
Also, not like you have to camp out on POF or anything, if your potential buddies e-mail you again POF will let ya know. =)
Good luck with your new dude. | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:46:52 AM | | Thanks so much. I've known him since the middle of June and we always liked each other but we were both afraid for various reasons that you really don't want to hear. But we are finally together and even though it is causing an uproar in our group of "friends" it should be ok....i think. | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:47:39 AM | If theres anyone you want to keep in contact with then id give them another means of communication (msn, email or something) and remove your profile..
i dont think id be too pleased if i found out a GF was active on a dating site! | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:53:02 AM | | Bahaha. He already knows about POF. We've been friends for a while and he knows that I'm on here almost all the time mostly for forums. He thinks its completely dumb and pointless and even though I tried to convince him[before I really thought anything would happen with us] to get one, he refused. I go on here in between classes which is where I see him usually and then we will hang out after class. but I don't know. Maybe I'll just ask him what he thinks...does this sound like a good idea? | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:53:45 AM | | And as to giving them seperate means, I'm trying to but they haven't been on in a few days... | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:56:13 AM |
I am now in a relationship and am wondering if I should delete my POF
You do realize that you can hide it rather that delete it right? | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:56:30 AM | | yeah, ask him... as long as you dont mind actually deleting it if it would be a problem lol | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:56:34 AM | Congrats miss 
Just change yer status to not looking, or 'friends' and stay around for forums and people you've been talking to. simple :) | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:57:12 AM | | it really shouldnt be a issue. i notice alot of woman that are in a relationship but on pof for the forums, will usually take down there pcs or put pics up of them with the new bf. and will change their description to something along the lines of "here for forums, but open to meeting new friends ext ext ext ext" | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:57:52 AM | | Truth be told, whatever YOU choose the best thing for you to do is, IS the right answer. If you fear your boyfriend may hold some resentment if you don't do it then, perhaps you should. But if you genuinely want to just meet some new friends, then why not keep it? | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 2:14:14 AM | Nothing wrong with hiding your profile and just interacting with people on the Forum or via correspondence w/folks you know.
Of course, you also could just give your real email address to your friends and communicate with them off-site.
If you're in a relationship, but still maintain an active profile here seeking to meet new people ... well, then that says your new relationship isn't keeping you engaged! | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 2:28:15 AM | I think it's highly inappropriate to be on a dating site while in a committed relationship.
I know you come on the forums, but you don't need a profile at all to do that.
Many people will say I am insecure and maybe I am. It's my honest opinion. Turn about is fair play. If I were seeing a woman and she was on a dating site, I honestly would not think twice about dumping her the first chance I met someone who was a little more to my liking. If I were committed to a woman, I would be texting her, not typing anything on a dating site.
I agree with andyboro 100%.
Go ahead and ask him if he cares. He will likely tell you it's ok even though he doesn't like it. He doesn't want to look like an insecure child that I am sure posts after mine will call me. It's up to you. Do you really want to maybe loose your soulmate over a bunch of cyber people you don't even know? Sounds like a stupid choice to me. | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 3:25:39 AM | | I'm with SJS38 on this one. I, too, believe it is highly inappropriate to be on a dating site while in a committed relationship. Personal preference based on how I would feel if my partner continued to be on a dating site while in a committed relationship. I would want to treat her the same way I would want to be treated....a Golden Rule thing. | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 3:40:31 AM |
I think it's highly inappropriate to be on a dating site while in a committed relationship.
I know you come on the forums, but you don't need a profile at all to do that.
Ummm. Yeah, ya do. Your account IS your profile. Someone doesn't need to fill out all of the profile details but it IS a profile none the less.
But overall, IMO, deleting the profile every time you start dating someone seems a bit silly. It is easy enough to change your status to "Not Single/Not Looking" and make that clear in the text. The profile can also be hidden so the user doesn't show up in searches and the body of the profile can be replaced with some silly space filler if need be.
As long as the two people involved are both aware the profile exists and you are honest with each other then there shouldn't be any problems. If you can't trust your partner to be honest with you about why they might come one here then why are you with them to begin with? | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 5:02:20 AM | What now??? Now you enjoy each other's company and have fun.
I'm pretty sure you can read the forums without a profile/account, but cannot participate in them. I agree with those who said that a status change in in order. Or just write in the "about me" section. "I'm dating someone and am ONLY HERE FOR THE FORUMS!!!" | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 5:35:52 AM | DTD
Done to Death
just change your status.....if you already have some friends on here that you talk to.
So many humans treat a relationship as ownership
for we hear this all the time...HE/SHE is all pissst off & bent that I'm still on Pof
awwwwww......so sad.
but....
that's their problem
you're in a relationship....that's a coming together of separate entities
not the creation of a new uni-being, ya know.?
You're still you, right? 
regards
Kimbo ~  | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 6:26:20 AM | When I was in a relationship, having a profile online was a source of friction. It became a trust issue... my perspective being - trust me. I changed the looking category to friends, noted that I was not single and not interested, and any incoming emails were told I wasn't interested. I was honest that I was online - I never hid that. Heck, that's how we met, but I love the forums and will continue to play here no matter who I'm seeing or not seeing. They're addictive.
Could I have done more to allay his doubts? Yup, but then again, I have opportunity to meet men in real life. Could I have joined the cloisters and purchased a chastity belt? Maybe, but I'm not Catholic and where do you find a chastity belt nowadays.
Point is, they need to trust you. Yes, it may seem like you are keeping your options open by being online, but in online and life, there is always opportunity - if you are looking. Those who are truly content in their relationships don't look much less stray. | |
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| I found someone! now what?
Posted: 9/12/2009 6:42:09 AM | I kept mine active and wrote that I had found someone and was here for the forums only. No messages but I enjoy the forums and it's easier if it doesn't work out than having to create a new profile.
You can hide your profile and still participate in the forums and if it becomes a problem for him then the two of you can decide together what to do.
I wish you the best with your guy and hope everything works out for the best!
Keep us posted, I love happy endings!  | |
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