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 ruckus123
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 2
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white collar woman, blue collar man.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Why worry about what other people think?

If it works for the two of you then it shouldn't matter what side of the tracks you both come from.

I don't see anything wrong with it.
 LBA26
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 3
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:31:04 AM
uptown girl stories happen
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 4
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white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:22:21 AM
“ someone who's out of your league, according to what other people would have you believe.”

I have 8 years post secondary education. It doesn’t make me part of any league.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 5
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:29:59 AM
First husband: college sweetheart. Divorced him before we were married for four years because of the way he treated me. Nothing I did or said was ever good enough for him, and he couldn't decide whether he wanted a Stepford Wife or a super-high-earner - neither of which I would be.

Second husband: high school graduate who had a "blue collar", though highly skilled job. While we were married I earned my master's, with his encouragement and support. He was extremely intelligent and self-educated and he treated me with utmost love and respect.

What a guy does is not important to me, as long as he does it well and is proud of his work.
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 6
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:24:00 AM
This is usually more of a problem for the man than for the woman.
 tec701
Joined: 9/20/2008
Msg: 7
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:15:46 PM

This is usually more of a problem for the man than for the woman.


well yeah...for many women,this is just what they think is SUPPOSED to happen,why would it be an issue?They're livin' the dream LOL

i don't know about the white collar/blue collar thing but i dated a TV reporter for a while,she was educated and making a ton more money than i do, but also from money and living in a totally different world than i do.by most peoples standards,even my own,she was WAAAY out of my league.tho THAT wasn't really an issue.i might still be with her today except that she wanted kids,and i didn't...i still watch her on TV,root for her to get the good stories,and see her shine...no regrets
 mtnskigirl
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 8
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:26:28 PM
Didn't work for Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel but doesn't it can't work for others. As in any relationship with a range of backgrounds, communication and respect must be the foundation.
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:44:26 PM
Yes I did. That experience lasted 20 years, and it was a constant battle for security.

It never dawned on me that that was the problem, ‘til our kids told him that he was not in my league, and really belonged with the biker crowd. From the mouth of babes, that must have been painful for him to hear. And me, where the hell was my head at…that it took my children to let me know, that I made the wrong choice.
 banditsmama
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 10
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white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:51:53 PM
I've found blue collar workers to be some of the best men I've ever met. I think you're cutting yourself short to think that they're out of your league. You might enjoy they're company. You can't please all the people anyway, so why worry about what anyone thinks.
 creativedisco
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 11
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:59:39 PM
It all depends on what the other person is looking for. Education/job-wise, my last girlfriend and I were about the same. She was living in, though, and was used to a more upscale neighborhood north of Atlanta. It was a very white collar, upper-middle to upper class, soccer mom and CEO sort of area, and, for whatever reason, she loved it there. I grew up in a small, rural town in GA. We ended up having more than our share of discussions about our differences and, in the end, we didn't work out.

Truth be told, it tore me to pieces. Some days I still feel the effects of it. Still, I know it wouldn't work out. I couldn't understand her way of living and she refused to try to understand mine.

Can it work? Yeah. I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can make anything work out if both people are willing to try.

Also realize that it can go the other way around, too. Let's not assume that only women are golddiggers.
 PeggyI
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 12
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:05:46 PM
white collar/blue collar - or - university/high school

It only matters if you think "you" are your job. Or you believe that education = brains.

wrong on both counts.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 13
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white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:21:21 PM
I don't think that it matters, as long as the two people get along and don't let it affect things. My ex was a teacher. We got along well. The biggest difference between us, was that I had sooooo much less stress. When my work day is done, my time is my own. I don't have to devote a single thought to the work day, and what will happen tomorrow. She on the other hand, would be planning, marking, stressing all night. All my friends say I'm easy going, in fact it drives a few of them crazy, as I'll set off for a weekend in the city, and have absoultely no plan. Where I'm going to stay, what I'm going to do. I just take it as it comes and let the day play out in whatever way it chooses to.

Us blue collars aren't really a bad thing. I know some of my friends get a bit envious of the fact that I have a three day weekend, EVERY weekend!

1o hour days FTW!!!!



That being said, I don't know if I'd be able to roll with a millionaire or anything. I just wouldn't have the funds to live the lifestyle, unless they are down with me being a stay at home spouse.

I can cook, clean, and look pretty!



 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 14
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:39:39 PM
league-schmeauge

I have barely more than an high school education but have a professional job that normally requires an MBA and I hold my own quite well in either "league".

I don't choose men to be involved with based on their educational background, job, wallet or social status. I choose men based on how well we get along with each other. I like down to earth, thinking men who are more interested in substance than image. I've had good relationships with both professional men and "regular guys".

If someone seeks to be involved with me based solely on a "league", we probably won't do well together.

 StatlerandWaldorf
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 15
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:28:47 PM
50 50 if I were a carpenter, and you were a Lady, would you marry me? Would you have my baby?
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 16
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:46:09 PM
I've yet to meet a woman who was interested in a man she considered to be of a class lower than hers. This works one way only. It has something to do with money but I'm not sure what.

I was thinking of how to talk about this and what came to mind was paper dolls or Barbie and Ken. Typically, generally, for purposes of discussion, using the paper doll analogy, a woman will start with a man who has no value of his own and then add things to him. She dresses him in clothes that make the man, and adds accessories like a car, a house, a job, social status, and the more the better. It is the trappings and not the man that matter. The man sees her differently. He sees her standing there naked and anything else that gets added is extraneous. It's not about nudity as a sexual stimulant, it's about the fact that he wants her, for herself. Then he wants to get along with her, and it's what else that is added that can get in the way of that, and mostly her judging him by the accessories is what gets in the way. The paper doll man is nothing. The man who finds a dolled up woman is interested in her heart, not her outfits, her job, her status but herself as his companion.

She could be rich or poor as far as he is concerned. To her, wealth and status determine his appeal. He is valued not as a man but by how well he competes with other men to win, collect wealth, hold power, and so on.

Men and women tend to talk about men wanting sex and women wanting money, as made famous by prostitution, but what does that symbolize? The man wants to be with the woman, while the woman wants what she gets that comes from the man, and to get it she has to let her be with him.
 iTsMeJuLi
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 17
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:55:46 PM
Education, job, and money really don't mean a whole lot to me. Its the person I'm interested in. As long as he's employed, living within his means and happy with what he's doing then I'm fine with his job and earnings. I've met schmucks with money and schmucks without.
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 18
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:00:48 PM
farceur: Realizing you are entrapped by generalities, I beg to differ with you in the specific sense.

I have certainly met men who are interested in me for my supposed status, position, and, of course, the cash that goes with it. They are clear in their actions and sometimes in their words regarding what attracts them (in addition to my cleavage, lol).

And I have had very satisifying long term relationships with men that were technically of lower "status" than the one generally assigned to me and enjoyed them for long periods of time.

And I've had relationships with men technically of a similar or higher socially assigned status. these relationships tended to be less satisifying.
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 19
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:12:34 PM
I know it happens that people depart from the script, but that is beyond my personal experience, so I have trouble understanding it directly. I'm wondering what replaces the typical. What would a woman want a man for if he was just himself? The ease with which women can attract, approach, engage men seems obvious to me, and so I explain why they don't as being a case of not wanting men. The not-settling, the holding out for better, the trading up, the restless dissatisfaction and the predictable disappointments seem to be about the failure of a man to emerge preeminent among men. I'm sure it happens that companionship is most important sometimes, but that it is rarely the case seems to be the rule.
 Scratch off
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 20
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:32:12 PM
I was once approached by a girl who was a lawyer, and I accepted. A few weeks later I found out that it was the fact that she was such a snobby, dishonest, rude b!tch that made us a no-match. It had nothing to do with the shitty $8.00 an hour job I was working at the time, and nothing to do with her luxury car or her loft in downtown Chicago.

Same thing happened when I used to date a doctor. Same thing happened when I got a $35,000 job and went out with a girl working at Foot Locker. I did however just meet a girl who makes about twice as much as me, and I don't know what to expect but she's one of the most down to earth people I've ever met.

My closest friend makes five times more money than I do, and he'll probably be doubling his salary sometime in the next year. In the past month, I've rejected advances from two women who were both wealthy, but quite rude.


People are people. Some folks are rude, and some folks are cool.

All that said, nobody who has money wants to purchase a problem, so your spending habits probably will always come into the conversation. I'm far from rich, very blue collar until this back-to-school thing pays off, but I wouldn't date a poor woman who lives way above her means.
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 21
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:10:07 PM
I did however just meet a girl who makes about twice as much as me, and I don't know what to expect but she's one of the most down to earth people I've ever met.


thank you, scratch-off, for providing this statement...and i hope this works out well for you.

Farceur...i'm sorry you haven't met any of the many women who are out there who are looking for a man to provide something other than a lifestyle. There are those of us who like a man for who he really is, don't give beans about his "league", and don't require you to provide anything other than love and acceptance and company on the many adventures life provides.

maybe it's because we have figured out one way or another that we need to kill our own snakes, found out it's really pretty good to be able to do so, and can relax enough to enjoy a good companion.

but then to enjoy one of us, you need to be other than a wallet and a father-figure. We want to be treated as equals, we don't want to be patronized, talked down to, marginalized, ridiculed...

This doesn't mean we won't wash your socks and cook your favorite dinner...it just means we do it because we want to and not because we have to due to some socially assigned role. And we hope that works both ways.

as far as the OT, i think it's attitude of the partners involved that's important for a good relationship...much more so than "league"...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 22
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:44:17 PM
First, you should be aware of what people think -- it will prevent you from wasting your time, and getting a better assessment about yourself. That's not to say you try to conform to what everyone says at all -- but you learn what's good and what's bad.

White collar women will date a blue collar guy -- I've seen it. One instance, the gal had a "blue collar" side to her liking the rugged type, and the guy wasn't "all Nascar" anyway and did have a good blue collar career job. Other one was the gal wasn't that great looking but great personality, and the guy was better looking than her as some pointed out. It happens. But in both scenarios, you could see how the pieces fit, though.

I would say though, that all other things being equal, no, you're not really going to see the high-class white collar gal go out with a guy in the local pub wearing his blue-collard work shirt with his name written on it playing pool. If she was older and he was a "stud" kinda guy, sure, if she was recently separated and wanted to have fun, sure. Other than that, it's a rare rare thing.

Aim to your demographic and within ballpark range of your league -- those will get the realistic amount of "bites".
 `` Piano4te ``
Joined: 8/23/2009
Msg: 23
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/14/2009 1:30:36 AM
The only time this ever really happened to me was when I dated this moonshiner's daughter...... People just didn't get it.... but I just loved the fact she always made me liquor........
 brightestblue
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 24
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white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/14/2009 6:48:35 AM
I'm white-collar, based on my education, career path and friendships, but I grew up in a blue-collar family, and I seem to have a marked preference for blue-collar men. The men in my family I really admire, like my dad and grandfathers were working class with a strong intellectual bent. Dinner-time talk after a hard day's work revolved around philosophy, politics and theology. My current bf is a truck driver with a college education, and he's perfect for me. All of the intellect; none of the pretentiousness.

Maybe it's because of how I was raised, but I seem to value brains and a work ethic over money to a very great extent!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 25
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white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:07:26 AM
White collar, blue collar. All that stuff made a difference back in the 70s, when plumbers earned less than accountants and solicitors. Now? A lots of the guys who went to community college send their kids to Ivy League schools, and a lot of the Ivy Leaguers can't get a job, or have a really poor-paying one, and their kids would be LUCKY to get to get to community college. If someone is hung up on THAT, they really ought to get with the 00s, 'cause things have CHANGED.
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 26
white collar woman, blue collar man.
Posted: 9/14/2009 5:40:26 PM

Maybe it's because of how I was raised, but I seem to value brains and a work ethic over money to a very great extent




couldn't have said it better myself!
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