| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:28:54 AM | I have been reading up on this a bit and have found a few different arguments. Which one is yours or do you have a different one? I have read that our parents are to blame for this situation we are in. We have all been told “You don’t need someone else in your life to be happy!” The independence speech tells us that we can do it on our own. Something I am sure most women have been hearing since the women’s lib days.
Another argument I read stated that we are in a sense of self-protection “Many singles are emotionally rudderless in relationships because they subconsciously retreat from truly loving and being loved, seeing the emotional risks involved as too great, says Robert Firestone, PhD, a Santa Barbara psychologist. They slip into a self-protective retreat mode for fear of getting emotionally wounded.”
And then there is an argument on how long we are living and that extended life expectancy has affected our relationship status and future status into this... “Some experts suggest that our longer life expectancy and society's growing acceptance of divorce mean that many singles (or once-again singles) feel no pressure to tie the knot sooner rather than later.”
I am sure there are a thousand other reasons out there as to why so many of us are single. For me its not for lack of trying. I have proposed to three women in my life and haven’t seen an altar yet. I don’t know why those three women couldn’t follow through or what it was that they needed more.
Like a lot of you out there, I’m just looking for answers. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:42:54 AM | I think the answers to that question would be as varied as the individuals who comprise the membership of this site. Different people will have different reasons for being single and will have different attitudes towards the fact that they currently are single.
I am somewhat mindful of the old joke that talks about a test question which asks "Explain World War II - use both sides of the paper if necessary". | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:05:54 AM | | Lately I have not found someone who would put up with me for more than a year at a time. Mind you I have not found one I would put up with either. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:27:21 AM |
Like a lot of you out there, I’m just looking for answers.
i'm still looking for the question. Op, can you please clarify exactly what your question is so there can be more educated replies. a lot of information was given in the original post but the question you want others to comment on is not clear as there are multiple but all different types.
do you want to know why the 3 women didn't commit? about the divorce rate impact by longer lifespans?
please clarify | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:02:28 PM | | Another mystery of the universe unanswered...... | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:25:28 PM | | george carlin already explained that one years ago printer........... | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:27:17 PM | I'm single because i choose to be.............yeah that's it, that will work lol | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:49:52 PM | | 'cause we choose to sit here forever and play cyber dating and fantasize how it would be being with that person you found online while there are others who are trying to meet and date more than one person at a time without actually committing to a real relationship. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/14/2009 4:54:21 PM | We are single because we didn't spend enough time hanging out at the Orpheum.
I tend to agree with an earlier poster that there are probably a variety of reasons as to why people on here are single. I like to think that most of us here are in between relationships at the moment. It is just a matter of finding someone that you click with. A bigger question might be why it is so difficult to form a permanent relationship with someone. I am sure that like me, many of you have been in relationships that have lasted from weeks or months to years. Relationships fail for a number of reasons. It is really just a matter of beating the mathematical odds and finding someone that you can form a lasting relationship with. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/14/2009 7:17:32 PM | The way i see this brave new world any commitment to anything other than self seems to be passe, unless of course it is a short term situation with major cudos attatched.
People seem more willing to work at something like a community fund raiser that they will be praised for than on a relationship. The least bit of stress and people bolt. Couldn't manage money, so what go bankrupt. Didn't get the raise you hoped for but didn't earn, get a new job. Wife/husband thinks the relationship is not perfect, plenty of fish in the sea, walk away. It is too easy to not commit to anything so the majority seems to commit to nothing.
I think it comes down to i'm single because i'm lost right now, trapped between worlds. Can't live in the old one and refuse to embrace the new. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/15/2009 9:49:07 PM | | Why are we single? Because we choose to be. Because we haven't found the right one. We choose most of our situations. There are those of us who made the choice to be single and some had fate intervene. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:25:18 PM | "For me its not for lack of trying.."
Me too! In responding to emails here, I've made my responses using a form of language in which I thought encouraged further communication with some form of intelligence and wit.
I guess some guys are afraid of women who are somewhat intelligent, independent, confident, possess some level of class, courtesy & manners and are not afraid to say that they do not wear high heels! Sheesh!
However, I'm not discouraged in the least. I just say to myself; "THANK YOU for helping me see that you were truly NOT WORTH the effort!"
For me, it's a combination of fate, choice of situation and good ol' fashioned "Luck"! I think the true name for it is called "Life"!  | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/17/2009 12:05:01 PM | I'm single because I haven't come across anyone I'm interested in dating. I'm picky.
I'm also self sufficient and independent, so perfectly happy single. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/17/2009 3:12:20 PM |
'cause we choose to sit here forever and play cyber dating and fantasize how it would be being with that person you found online while there are others who are trying to meet and date more than one person at a time without actually committing to a real relationship.
I agree. My friend and I talk about this site quite a few times and we both agree that girls our age like the whole "mystery" thing. Everytime he would ask one out, they say that they are only on this site to chat online and they never really wanted to meet. It seems its more like a lifestyle to them. I thought a date was supposed to be more "going out" than sit on your PC online and "chat".
Then again, they are just worried they will have a terrible time.
And to answer the question, I am single because no girl wants to give me a chance. :) | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/17/2009 3:40:32 PM |
we both agree that girls our age like the whole "mystery" thing. Everytime he would ask one out, they say that they are only on this site to chat online and they never really wanted to meet
I'm one of those females that says they're only on this site to chat online.. and it's got nothing to do with games or mystery. It's an honest answer that can be validated via my profile. Problem is most guys don't read the profile and get pissy when they ask me out and are denied. I'm not here looking to date people, I'm here to kill time and email with a few really good friends I've made here.
I'm sure sometimes women are using that as a way to try to say no nicely, but in other cases it is the truth. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:27:00 PM |
I'm single because I haven't come across anyone I'm interested in dating. I'm picky.
I'm also self sufficient and independent, so perfectly happy single.
See! With an attitude like that I will never get lucky.  | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/18/2009 11:57:32 AM |
See! With an attitude like that I will never get lucky.
Come now Printer, I think we both know I'm not your type :P
And to answer the question, I am single because no girl wants to give me a chance. You realise that means that you're basing your ability to get a relationship entirely on someone else right? People spend way too much time trying to find someone to like them, rather than finding someone they like. Personally, any guy looking to have a girl like them makes me run back to my lovely condo to watch a movie with my cat. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/18/2009 12:02:09 PM | "I'm here to kill time and email with a few really good friends I've made here."
But if one of those good friends asked you out for a drink would you go ??
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/18/2009 3:29:34 PM |
You realise that means that you're basing your ability to get a relationship entirely on someone else right? People spend way too much time trying to find someone to like them, rather than finding someone they like.
That may be. But I have tried the latter and that doesn't seem to work.
Ill be honest, I look for someone I like in terms of what their profile says. Most of the time I see we have common interests and I usually ask the odd question to show that Im not messaging you just because your picture looks good. No response.
If that is the same as trying to find someone to like me, then please explain more thouroughly as it sounds like the exact same thing to me then.
And I apologize if this post is a bit snippy. I just found out I didnt get accepted at a certain job and they say I can reapply after a year. What makes them say I would want their job anyway in a year? Damn government. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:18:46 PM |
Come now Printer, I think we both know I'm not your type
Oh, there are more woman out there with attitude, so's my luck. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/19/2009 12:15:24 AM | I have a great button I picked up at a science fiction convention:
"I think therefore I'm single" 
Being single doesn't mean being lonely. | |
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| Why are we single?
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:08:46 AM | any guy looking to have a girl like them makes me run back to my lovely condo to watch a movie with my cat.
...and remember kids, you can love your pets, but you can't LOVE your pets! | |
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