| | Do girls sends the first messagePage 1 of 1 | Hi all i have been on here a few months now and i have noticed that that women dont really send the first message. Is this true or is it just to me? did a search and didn't find this posted before anywhere.
Thanks in advanced | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:21:07 PM | thats the truth. If you dont look like mr GQ, or have a charismatic way of writing your porfile, you arent gonna get any damn bites on here. Females rarely ever make the first move, and thats even if you're a good looking guy. Now watch all the females reply after me, and boast about how they all make the first move. I dont beleive it. The only emails I get on here is from females hours and hours away from me. I think its because they know theres no real reality to us meeting, so they just do it for kicks. If I was good looking enough for the females far away, why arent I good looking enough for the females in my town ? Doesnt add up if you ask me.
Another thing, no matter what the females say after my post. the key things females look for when eyeing your profile :
- your job ( so they can judge how much you make)
- your height(ladies like a man to be taller than them)
- whether or not you spark some charisma in them by how you write your profile
just being yourself on here wont really cut it, you have to step outside the box to attract attention | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:21:18 PM | | Some girls do, some girls don't...if you're interested, why don't you message them first? Afterall, someone has to start communication! | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:26:10 PM | See, she doesnt have an answer, so she just turns the question back on you.
Actually, she doesnt want to be honest with the truth. The reason females rarely ever make first contact, is because they cant handle rejection. They live their lives by staying in their safety zone and not putting themselves out there, like a guy has to. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:27:54 PM | | I will admit for me it is rare, just because I am so darn jaded, whoops I mean picky. However, if I find somone, normally in the forums and he is funny and articulate then I read his profile and it is the same, I will send him an email just to say hi and tell him I liked what he had to say. I have never sent a man an email because of what he looks like, never. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:33:14 PM |
someone has to start communication!
Yet females will sit and let how many great guys pass through their life, without ever making the first contact, just because they are stuck in the stupid habit of waiting for the guy. If any females on here would be honest, theyd agree with me 100% on this | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:35:58 PM | | I sometimes get first messages, but not very often, and they are something lame, like "hey how are you" or "just wanted to say hi." Nothing original. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:37:37 PM | Chris, you sure youre 38? You look like youre around 25 to me... geez...maybe im getting old fast!
But to answer the question I do tend to send alot of emails and yes, I get rejected often..
*shrugs... so goes life.
Alot of the profiles have things written you must be between 25-35 or under 5'8 (we tall girls get rejected too!) or weigh less than 120 lbs.. (not even when I was born did I weigh that less) so....my chances have been cut way down..
Most men my age seem to be dating the young ones 25 or less...and those that are 25 or less that write to me are looking for their first encounter with an old women..(Ive never liked the "cougar" idea)
so..... I send emails when I think I stand a chance and even then get a rare message.. Im thinking of quitting the online thing by December.. | |
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joolsb
| | Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 10 | |
| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:52:40 PM | | I was wondering if any men of here took the first steps to contact! If I wait for a message I just don't get. I always try and strike up a conversation but it's always been me who takes the first step. Be a bit braver men coz you never know. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:15:57 PM | | The pretty ones don't very often, because they get 20-100 a day based on just how good looking they are and probably don't have time to search on their own. In a years time I've gotten probably 70ish first messages on this and another free site. Usually they're less attractive, heavier, or extremely religious. 2/3 of those aren't the end of the world to me, but they're also usually way far out of my distance standards I clearly stated in my profile. (Leading me to believe they don't read it all) So I'm guessing it's the more desperate girls that take the initiative, because like I said the pretty ones rarely send them out first because they get so much attention. Not being shallow in what I'm saying, just my realistic input and observations. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:23:21 PM | | i am so curious about this subject. i have never initiated contact here. i have been wondering if this is a mistake. i am so very traditional, and this new genre of dating is somewhat daunting at times. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:29:34 PM | Chriis70, one reason you probably don't get many messages is that your negativity shines through. Another is because you refer to women as females. No one wants someone who is bitter and negative, or who lumps them into a group that he has no respect for.
Your job and your height are just convenient excuses. There are plenty of women shorter than you are.
Yes, we look at jobs. At least I do. Not to gauge how much a man makes, but to see if we would have anything in common, and to see what choices he has made in his life.
Yes, I prefer a man who is taller than I am. I have dated men shorter than I am and the thing that is worse than the height difference is the insecurity about it.
I definitely look at a profile. If the profile is not interesting, why should I contact a man? Why not just pick someone at random from the phone book. OF COURSE the profile needs to be good, witty, or interesting in some way. If it isn't,why would I waste my time on him? If it isn't interesting, he would have to make the first contact and his email had better be interesting. If not, I will politely tell him that we are not a good match.
And yes, I generally prefer to have a man contact me first, for a complex set of reasons. I frequently email men who are live far away, just to compliment them on an interesting profile or thank them for an interesting forum post. That is different from contacting a man for a potential date. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:44:36 PM | I send first messages out all the time.
Probably 50/50 of getting an answer back.
Doesn't bother me if they're not interested-I don't understand how people get so upset because of rejection from someone they don't know.....
I get rejections-doesn't mean I go curl up in a corner....
I wonder how some make it in the "real world" | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:50:43 PM | I have been lucky enough to have been messaged first God only know whys lol.
But generally on here as in the outside world its the guy who has to do all the chasing I think just like us women dont really like the idea of being rejected whereas us guys have been getting rejected since puberty (well maybe thats just me) and are well used to it by now.
Dont sweat it dude honestly its not that big of a deal if you dont get approached and to be fair just like in real life I like taking the gamble of saying hi and seeing what happens. Passive ladies your missing because you cant flash a smile or a flirtatious look online ;) | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:18:58 PM | | Yes, a lot of women send out messages. If you're not getting them then it's probably because your profile's not geared to attract women who are proactive. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:32:50 PM | FORGET it man!!!!
They will never ever send a message first - not because they are bad or something, it's because they REALLY fear the rejection. We do too, but we are more or less used to it, or putting it another way - we have to get used to it. I don't care much when I am rejected - yeah it strikes your ego a bit, but if you start thinking about it - you might come to the conclusion that all ladies are evil creatures - which is not true!!!!
I am new to this site and I sent out about 10 messages, got 1 response - not super, but can't be helped. I always contact first. | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:43:59 PM | Are there women that fear rejection? Sure, just like there are men who do. It's not really a gender thing.
As to women making first contact, some do and some don't.
It's not always fear of rejection or some old fashion sensibility that are the reasons why some don't initiate contact. I've seen many women post that they have initiated contact in the past but that it rarely, if ever leads to anything. They have learned through their experiences on this site that initiating contact doesn't lead to dates. Whereas responding to those that do initiate does lead to dates. Why continue doing something if it doesn't work? | |
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| Do girls sends the first message
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:46:48 PM | | I would like you to prove that making the first move is not a gender thing please go ahead because your post made it sound like its about a 50/50 split between men approaching and women approaching. | |
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