| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:07:12 PM | | Why do men text you these days instead of call? Usually women wait for a man to call after a first date. Now we are waiting to see if they call or text?? Really?? Ladies, is this acceptable? Men, is it easier for you to text instead of call? Is it a way to test the waters before asking a woman on another date | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:09:18 PM |
Why do men text you these days instead of call? Because it's easier, they don't need to make much effort, and it lets them know right away the size of the crumb you'll accept.
Personally, I ignore texts. If I do respond at all, I say "call when you can" | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:19:52 PM | I don't know why people see texts as a lesser form of communication. To me they're just a different form of communication. Each method has its time and place.
Calling: When you are likely to have a long conversation that will be cumbersome to conduct via text messages, for example arranging something.
Texts: When you're not sure if it's convenient for the recipient to take a call you can send a text. Then the recipient can choose to ignore it until such time as they're in a position to respond. It's considerate because they're aren't foisting themselves upon you when you may be driving, in a meeting, juggling shopping bags etc.
Texts are also nice when there is no conversation to be had, you just want someone to know you're thinking of them. Perfect after a date. "I had a lovely time and can't wait to see you again. Pleasant dreams. Your thoughtful and romantic suitor. xx"
Gadzukes... I used to think I was high maintenance. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:22:20 PM | Landra,
To give you a different perspective. I almost always text after a date. In my experience most women are not comfortable rejecting someone. I think texting is a fair and balanced way for both sides to "discuss" whether or not to go out again without making the woman feel uncomfortable.
IMO
Russ | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:23:58 PM | It may not be a mystery, but I detest texting and emailing. Texting and emailing is not dating.
I hate endless, meaningless calls too, call me old fashioned, but in person is the way to get to know a person for the person they really are.  Person.
I wonder in awe at how many people sit and watch a PHONE after they text or email someone to see how soon/when a response comes. No wonder there are dating sites, it's not to help people find dates, it's to help people learn to date all over again.
What's with the "check up on you" mentality? It's F*U**C**K**ing creepy. Pre-date, post date, in the shower, after I wipe my ass text, it's gotten quite horribad. I like that word. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:50:50 PM |
Why do men text you these days instead of call? Usually women wait for a man to call after a first date. Now we are waiting to see if they call or text?? Really?? Ladies, is this acceptable?
I have no problem with it. But I also don't wait to see if they contact me. I can usually tell if either or both of us had a good time, and if I want to contact him, I do.
Texting allows me to see (read) a contact in a situation where I might not be able to answer a phone call.
Sure beats the days when you had to gather up your skirts and run down to check the old hollow log for a message... | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:57:50 PM |
Landra,
To give you a different perspective. I almost always text after a date. In my experience most women are not comfortable rejecting someone. I think texting is a fair and balanced way for both sides to "discuss" whether or not to go out again without making the woman feel uncomfortable. why would you bother to text at all if the response you expect is a rejection? If two people are too "uncomfortable" to discuss a second date, maybe they should just drop it. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 1:13:21 PM | Landra,
"If two people are too "uncomfortable" to discuss a second date, maybe they should just drop it"
I am only "one" person so I can't tell you what the other persons comfort level is. For that reason I think it's perfectly reasonable to send a text.
In almost all of my relationships or meetings texting was a part of the communication prcoess before meeting so an after date text is not out of the norm. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 2:06:44 PM | | Personally I use texts to set up phone calls, as I don't keep my phone on me 24/7. It's like setting up an appointment. And I rarely check my voicemail unless I knew a call was coming but unexpectedly my phone wasn't on me. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 2:18:25 PM |
To me they're just a different form of communication. Each method has its time and place.
I am with Reaper on this, to me it is just another form of communication that has its time and place. I have meet people that love to text and have no problem using that as the primary form of communication. Others prefer phone calls, so I go that route. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 2:33:02 PM | I vote for calling, Guys! If I can't get to the phone, I will call you back. I like to be pursued and to feel wanted and texting doesn't do it for me. One exception: after a date, comments like "Sweet Dreams" or "I had a great time" are always welcomed.
BTW, the worst way to be in touch is through the dating site when you have my number. Just had this happen. "I have to cancel" - heck- what if I didn't check 2 hours before the date. Really bad form. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:35:22 PM | Texts should be limited to "are you busy,can I call you?" or "Call me when you're able"
it is not dating, nor is e-mail.
If we were to bump into each other at some function, or even the grocery store, we might wind up havin a 5min chat and you would not have the profile primmer that sites like this afford, and we would both have a much better understanding and impression of the other, then pages of typed words will ever convey.
They used to have texting back in the old days.. it was called morse code.. till some smart guy who was probably getting pointless texts all day decided to change things up and invented the phone. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:44:58 PM | I've never been a big fan of the phone, mostly because I prefer talking in person. I don't own a landline because it's an additional $30-40 a month for the privilege of talking to a telemarketer or two every day. Unfortunately, Cell Phone = limited minutes and crazy long distance fees if you're not calling a local number.
My texting is usually limited to status updates; I'd rather talk in person than on the phone. So if I'm running late, I'll send a text. If I have a message that isn't time sensitive, I'll text it. I don't normally try to hold a conversation over text, mostly because even with t9, it's a pain in the butt.
At this point, I don't have anyone to call, so it's not a big deal. When I meet someone and we hit it off, I'll re-evaluate my options at that point. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:55:30 PM | Texting is fine to confirm plans, or just to say you were thinking of her, but if any details need to be sorted, I dont text. I dont have conversations via text. If I need to tell you something, Ill call. Too many times my messages have been completlely taken the wrong way, all because I emailed or texted something I should have called about.
I dont mind getting a text or an email after a meet. I know some people are shy, and are afraid of rejection, so it is easier for them to ask via text if there will be a date 2. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:11:18 PM |
Why do men text you these days instead of call?
I am not sure since any guy that talks with me much knows I detest texting and they really don't do it unless it is a quick message and they don't expect an answer I rarely answer a text.
Usually women wait for a man to call after a first date
We do, is there a memo for this mine must have passed by the shredder. After a date I always send a short email the next day thanking them for the lovely time. If it is a meet and greet then in the email I will close with a statement of hope we can do it again sometime, if I am not interested I wish them well in their search.
Is it a way to test the waters before asking a woman on another date
Hope not if so, might not be a second one. I figure if you want to talk to me then dail the number and call that is why I gave it to you.
As far as one of the other posters above stating that they text since there basically is a fear of rejection. Good luck with that one, since that would be a self defeatist attitude and well we all know where they go. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:12:15 PM | | Texts are instant gratification for lazy daters. They require no effort, no imagination and no grasp of the english language. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:11:51 PM | Texting is marginally acceptable if situation appropriate and keep it short.
I find it tedious.
Don't try to engage me in a text conversation.
Prefer phone conversation over IM, IM over email, and ftf best. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:17:31 PM |
Texting is marginally acceptable if situation appropriate and keep it short.
I find it tedious. I agree. I get into text conversations when I'm trying to clear up details that would be SO much easier to do so in a phone conversation. Absolutely ridiculous. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:23:16 PM | Well, I used not to be a texter, but after many years of "Calling at the wrong time" i.e. person was at work, in the shower, using the bathroom, etc etc .... I have been converted.
I Do agree that it has to be situationally appropriate, and shouldnt have real conversations via texts.
But, sending a quick "Hey, just got out of meeting, want to grab dinner tonight? if so where?" .... I think that is totally appropriate.
Just like the commercial, , LOL @ my bff Jill  | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:51:08 PM | I think Reaper hit it in her msg....#3
Think of it as just another 'form' of communication
and, to be clear, I don't think anyone is really confusing 'texting'...or emailing...with 'dating someone'.
Oh, I see, it's 'after a date'....OK. well, it all still applies.
You ever call somebody at a bad time, you ever call somebody, then they take another call and you're on hold like a dummy.???..hahahahaa. Phone calls aren't always the best.
You ever just so damn tired or it's the end of a long day and you can't string a lot of words together. ? Your brain is tired?
Now, sometimes you both really feel like yakkin' it up, and that's great...in the meantime, it's not worth passing huge judgments on,
You're thinking of someone, they're thinking of you...."Oh look, I got a text"... ..It's all good.
Kimbo ~~  | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:17:57 PM | I can understand that different people have different views on texting...for me? If a man can't pick up the phone and call to ask me out the first time or at least to hear my voice before we go out..then he isn't really going to put up enough effort, in my opinion.
Texting is good for after you are dating or at least after the initial contact off of this sight, but I'd prefer a phone call. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:37:26 PM | | Perfect answer! I don't see why so many people look down on texting. I actually like it better if I come back to my phone and there's a text instead of a voicemail. I'll call if it's more appropriate to call, but I don't think it's rude or lazy to text, on occasion. | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:40:29 PM | | Erikmg..the key phrase is "on occasion". It seems that many men..and women too, to be fair here..rely too much on texting and never even talk on the phone! | |
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| Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:09:28 PM | Girlin, are you that high maintainance that a guy must call you for a second date rather than text for you to accept? Geez, I swear, girls these days... not only do guys have to do ALL the word in the intitial dating periodd but we also have to do it YOUR most preferred way too or we're screwed!
P.S. All the girls I've dated used texting. That's not to say we didn't talk on the phone, but texting for a second date etc and replying was no problem. And whenever I see a thread about text vs. calls it's always the older woman bashing texting. LOL. | |
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