| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:55:02 AM | Hello, I met my soul mate on a different site and we had been talking for over eight months. He is the one person I could see myself being with the rest of my life, everything clicked, and the chemistry was unbelievable. He does not want to face it and knows it is the true thing. He has made so many excuses and does not want to face reality. Unfortunately it has ended as I have been hurt beyond repair. So how do you get over meeting your soul mate and know you will never be with them? Unable to move on. Please help. Do we have more than one soul mate. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:01:35 AM | Well OP.
(1) There's no such thing as a soul mate.
(2) I'm guessing that all of your "meant to be" chatter scared the shyt out of him
(3) Even if a soul mate were a real thing, the fact that he does not want to be with you would seem to imply that you two are not soul mates
(4) There's no such thing as a soul mate. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:21:53 AM |
He has made so many excuses and does not want to face reality
Seems to me like YOU are the one that is in denial. Thanks for the laugh though. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:34:23 AM | | Maybe i am and of course you would be a man that would say something like that. And honestly, it is not funny. It wasn't meant to make you laugh so you are probably another one that doesn't have a heart or soul and don't mind hurting peoples feelings. I care very much for people and would not have ever said that to something you posted. Have a heart man. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:37:06 AM | | I disagree, I believe that we do have soul mates. If you felt the feeling that it gives you then you would know right away that it is something different, a different feeling than anyone else gives you. Open your heart and mind you never know you may pass yours right by. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:56:47 AM | OP, not trying to be mean here, but I thought a 12 year old wrote this post. I truly don't understand someone your age mooning over some dude who doesn't want to be with you. I mean, why give someone who doesn't want you that kind of power over your life?
I personally don't believe in "soul mates", but I do believe there's someone for everyone out there. He's just not the one for you. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 10:05:13 AM | | Just remeber sweatheart everything happens for a reason. If you are meant to be together u will be if u r not it just wont happen. Keep busy it helps xx | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 10:26:59 AM | AAAAhhhhh yes!!! the old "soul mate" bullshit! The term soul mate was dreamed up by some yuppie hybrid who is lucky enough to have a by-line in Cosmo or Ms. magazines.
There is NO such thing as a soul mate.
Now as far as the guy you are mooning and pining for: Well, I hate to break it to you Toots, but he just isn't into you. Pure plain and simple. He doesn't want to be with you and the sooner you figure that out, the better off you will be. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 10:29:50 AM | Ummm did you even meet each other in person? The way your question reads you chatted and that was it.
I don't believe in soul mates, but I can tell you this, if someone was to be that connected to you, they wouldn't be making any excuses. Someone connected to you says they want to go to sleep with you and wake up with you. That isn't what happened to you. He just wasn't into you. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:08:44 AM | What you are describing is not a soul connection.
A dictionary definition is: One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. Someone for whom you have a deep affinity. A person temperamentally suited to another.
The movie Still Breathing examines the thought that people are drawn together as soul mates by destiny or fate and that being with our soul mate is something we have no control over. This idea of predestination and connection even after death between soul mates was also examined in the movie What Dreams May Come.
Richard Bach describes soul mates as "A soulmate is someone who has the locks to fit our keys, and the keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we; we can be loved for who we are and for who we're pretending to be. Each of us unveils the best part of one another. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person were safe in our paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. "
Thomas Moore, in his book Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship, page xvii, describes a soul mate as "someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life."
So to answer you question, yes, in my opinion we can have more than one soul connection in our lifetime. However it needs to be as described by the examples above... by TWO people, not forced and singularly ego based.
All the best to you. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:16:20 AM |
He has made so many excuses and does not want to face reality
This is funny because it implies that you know better than him. You want him and thinks he is your soul mate so anything else he might believe is therefore false. Its like if you are saying that he doesn't have a say in this; you are the almighty all knowing entity in all this.
It does sound like something a young girl would say. What he wants is not wrong simply because it doesn't align with what you want yet you seem to say that it is so.
He is the only one who knows how HE feels about you. You can not make that choice for him; no matter how much you want to. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:22:59 AM | | Doesn't matter anymore I just wanted some opinions. I have not stayed in touch with him now and in answer to the above person's question, yes we met, how else would I have felt the chemistry. I can't believe all the negative people in the world. I am a very positive upbeat person and yes I will move on. I am not making up his mind in anyway, only my own. All he had to do is say I am not the one for him, but he just would not say it. It was a simple as that. I could have moved on seven months ago without being strung along. I don't think anyone is getting what I am saying, its more about the chemistry than it was anything else. I have only had that chemistry with four people in my life and it is something you will never forget. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:40:01 AM | Funnily enough, I actually know what you're saying. Delete the drama of the soul mate part, though--that's fiction.
I had a man who was perfect for me. Not a perfect PERSON, but a perfect mate for me. He was head over heels for me, and I was for him as well; there was no question of "whether" we loved each other. We got along intellectually, physically, and mentally. Except...one day he decided we should "end things" after I explained what I saw as our future. It was REALLY hurtful and confusing because I KNEW he loved me. At the time, he DENIED that he loved me, when I KNEW that wasn't true. It was very confusing and amazingly hurtful.
Just a few weeks ago [8 months after the fact], he called me up out of the blue and confessed that he had been in love with me. No shi't. So what was his motive for leaving? I still have no clue [he can't answer that question], he just wasn't ready or willing to have a future with me.
My advice to you is to forget about him, delete him from memory banks, because he is not coming back. Ever. Go on with your life, open yourself up to another great guy. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:59:33 PM | OP there is no such thing as a soul mate. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Was the husband you divorced a soul mate? Kind of kills your whole argument doesn't it?
Relationships are hard work. There are great times and lousy times and compromise and committment, but there is no such thing as a soul mate despite what Harlequin has been brainwashing you ladies with for decades. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:03:25 PM | No my husband was not my soul mate and yes I knew it at the time that I married him. Please tell me about how hard it is to work on relationships. My marriage lasted 26 years and worked my ass off. Can't I hope now for better for myself. Another negative person. Exactly why I divorced my husband. He was a very negative person. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:08:42 PM | OP you asked for other's opinions and then you attack the same people who offer one. And you call us negative?
Here's some harsh reality for you. Maybe your new guy dumped your ass because no one's opinion counts except your own and maybe your ex had enough of the same crap too! | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:12:51 PM | Hartagold, do yourself a favor and burn your membership with the Harlequin book club and stop watching Serendipity and The Titanic, and jane austin and any other sappy material that talks about " soulmates"
Soulmates is another overused word, I will give you a hint, soulmates means TWO people connecting at the same time, they grow at the same time, they are singing from the same hymn book, same page , same verse that is very rare like a honest politician.
What you're experiencing is someone who met all your criteria for a mate, and unfortunately you didn't meet his.
Do yourself a favor and seek therapy, you seem to be fixated with this " soulmate" | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:02:12 PM | | Everybody is over reading this post. I too believe soulmate is just a phrase, two people who were meant to be together and yes the other half must be on the same page. I agree with a lot of you and what you are saying. You have to understand and I probably didn;t put a lot about him and things he said to me and more or less made it seem that I too was the one but just was not ready for that commitment yet and wanted me to wait until he was. I don't need therapy and I am already seeing someone else who seems to be just as wonderful. Oh, and I left my husband not the other way around. That is one thing I know I don't want is people who are negative constantly and bring everybody down around them. I love life more than you will ever know. I am a very happy person and love myself. Yes I am moving on. I regret that I ever used the word soulmate. If you read what the woman above wrote about the description of a soulmate you can understand. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:14:53 PM | My feeling is you totally freaked this guy out. Don't start saying someone is your soulmate ever again unless you want them to think you are wacko.
And people who disagree with you or say things you don't like are not necessarily being negative. They are just giving their honest opinions in an insensitive way.
I think if he felt the same chemistry you had felt he wouldn't have ended it.
how do you get over meeting your soul mate and know you will never be with them? Unable to move on.
and, written on the same day...................
I am already seeing someone else who seems to be just as wonderful....Yes I am moving on.
Stop giving us this defensive BS, we can see right through it.....
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:24:16 PM | Oh my , you would make a perfect politician, you flip flop back n forth , santa lucia ... now your backpedaling , its safer to put on a beeper when your backing up....
You have to understand and I probably didn;t put a lot about him and things he said to me and more or less made it seem that I too was the one but just was not ready for that commitment yet and wanted me to wait until he was would of killed you to of posted more info? hmmmmmm
I don't need therapy and I am already seeing someone else who seems to be just as wonderful. you sure about that? youre seeing someone new but whining about some guy who doesn't want you? Im sorry is there a sign ahead that says " you've entered the twilight zone?"
Im still not clear on why you think he was your soul mate yet youre with someone else who is wonderful? im beginning to think you cannot for some reason stand being alone. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:11:26 PM | | I have no problem being alone and yes maybe i didn't say enough about the whole situation. I am trying to see all of these posts from your point of view though. And yes your right they are your opinions and I asked for it. So I will continue to read them and it will help me to forget. Yes I have met someone else just out of coincidence it just happened and maybe the timing is not that great but I will be very careful this time and go extremely slow. To clear up the soulmate thing, its a feeling more than anything else, but yes I get the fact that he does not want me and I will move on thats all. | |
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| met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:52:01 PM | I got what you were saying from the start hartagold, its a awful feeling knowing the guy you believe to me thee one turns out to be the one of yet many more.
I too thought that id met the man of my so called dreams back in November last year, we loved each other etc... he visioned settling down with me, marrying me, me having his children etc... that was all from him not myself tho i wanted for this too.
So anyways we were a long distance couple, didn't matter we had our love and i believed we were strong, how wrong i was, 8 months down the line he's suddenly ending it....
2+ months on, i still have feelings for him, made harder il add cus we stayed friends. I guess he wasn't that into me eh... oh well guess il have to get over him and get over him i shall!.
Hes seeing new people and me well am begining to do the same now, i accept the demise of our relaionship but still don't make it any easier on the crushed heart :(.
As for Soul mates, i don't really believe in this BUT if it were true then i think if they were indeed a soul mate they'd be with us :( . So all tho i don't believe in the soul mate thing i do believe we are meant for someone and that out there someone is waiting to be found just as we are.
Good luck with your new man hun, i wish you and your fella all the best for now and for your future happiness :)
Take care
Calli | |
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