| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:20:10 PM | | So I just got a call from my Navy guy! He just got medically dischared for a heart condition he didnt know he had! He's medically going to be fine but he's really depressed (this was his dream)! Honestly, Im very happy that i get to see him soon and that we wont have to move but I know when he gets home and has to find a crappy job and finish school he's going to be unhappy for a while! I wanna be there for him through this as much as possible! How do you help a man through something like this!? | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:25:28 PM | Find a better job to help support him while he finishes school (and you do the same). Maybe he'd like to work for the military in some other capacity, one where his condition isn't an issue.
At least one of you needs to finish college, so you won't have to live on the meager wages from "crappy" jobs.
Edit: VVVV Thanks, you're right. I re-read the OP. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:31:37 PM | You don't get into the military without at least a GED.
She's talking about him finishing college. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:42:19 PM | | Is he your boyfriend or husband? Your profile says your married. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:47:47 PM | I noticed that, too, honeyangel.
OP, you're aware there's the option of saying you're "not single/not looking," right? You don't have to claim to be married if you aren't. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:49:21 PM |
Is he your boyfriend or husband? Your profile says your married.
He's my boyfriend! I just put married on here bc Im not really interested in emailing ppl! I just enjoy the forums! & putting married down eliminates most of the emails! | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:15:07 PM |
He's my boyfriend! I just put married on here bc Im not really interested in emailing ppl! I just enjoy the forums! & putting married down eliminates most of the emails!
Why not just say you're here for the forums, and change your email settings so that you don't receive emails rather than telling a lie? | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:35:13 PM | | What a bummer. Was he in ROTC with his sights set on a pilot slot? | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:43:07 PM |
sights set on a pilot slot?
I bet you can't say that 10x fast. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:43:15 PM | | Well I did write I was just here for the forums but honestly just didnt think about changing mail settings! That would make a lot of sense wouldnt it!? | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:50:52 PM | from your other post:
I fell for this man very quickly & him for me then he was off for Basic Training in the Navy! Im very proud of his decision and find it very attractive that hes in the Navy!
If this is the guy you've only dated once or twice and have know just a couple of weeks, I think you might want to slow down.
A person cannot enlist in the Navy until they've passed a medical exam first. He'd have to have passed the Department of Defense medical review board before enlisting, so it's kind of funny how he claims he was in basic training prior to passing a medical review.
The Navy requires that before a person can enlist, they must take the ASVAB (Armed Service Vocational Aptitude Battery) test and have a passing score AND have a Navy medical examination. That's when he would have been medically disqualified for military service.
Instead of rushing to support this guy you barely know, you might want to ask him exactly what happened- though I doubt he'll tell you the truth and I doubt you'll see through your fantasy romance to see reality. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:56:24 PM |
Well I did write I was just here for the forums but honestly just didnt think about changing mail settings! That would make a lot of sense wouldnt it!?
Almost as much sense as not posting seductive profile pictures with a shot from above down your shirt showing that sexy hint of cleavage. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:16:12 PM | | Take him to strip clubs. That's the only thing that helps. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:30:28 PM |
A person cannot enlist in the Navy until they've passed a medical exam first.
Very true, Landra2, but not completely.
The entrance physical is not much more detailed than a highschool sports physical. Further testing can be done later, depending on one's rating.
There were no fewer than 3 separate exams I had to pass before final medical clearance to attend Aircrew training... all at different steps in the training process, including one while in bootcamp. It got pretty invasive, if you know what I mean.
During my Navy service, I personally knew one guy with a heart condition, one with diabetes, and another with an immune deficiency. All were medically discharged soon after diagnosis. Depending on their length of service, some were eligible for at least partial VA medical benefits.
OP, perhaps your paramour might be eligible as well? | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:50:44 PM | | Thanks JohnEDeep! I kinda doubt he will be eligible since he has not been in very long but thanks for the comment :) | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:08:18 PM | | uh, your 20... chill and relax. most likely this will be one of many relationships. you dont even know him that well and vice versa, so just take your time. let him do his thing and dont crowd in on him like you are suggesting. just enjoy the relationship while it last and be supportive, loving and caring. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:14:17 PM | Ask him about his Oath of Enlistment ceremony.
Find out where he took it, and if he has any photos. Ask him who came to it-- usually lots of family and friends attend.
(They have an Oath of Enlistment ceremony prior to being sent to Basic Training.)
I'm sure you'd love to see photos of that, if you haven't already! | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 5:24:32 PM | Um I didn't have anyone at my oath except the recruiter. What she is describing was quite normal. We had three girls from my unit got kick out for a couple different things. I did also go under 3 more physical exams and they were more involved. I was in good health. However, my best friend that joined with me they found a heart murmur on her. So she was sent home. I tend to believe this guy didn't lie to her. My best advice is to be positive for him. Tell him so plan A didn't work. Now you can focus on plan B. See if he qualifies for unemployment. Because techinically he was employed. Maybe that will give him a little chance to give him some time to make that plan b come true without having to worry about finaces. I know I qualified for unemployment when I got out. Of course they don't tell you that. Obama just had a pell grant for $5300 to people that are unemployed. So tell him to push the unemployment. I believe that goes under a federal fund instead of state. But the state unemployment office will have the answers for him. Hope this helps. Keep positive.
Debbi | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 5:44:23 PM | | karly, I do not know what to tell you on the subject because men not being able to accomplish a dream react differently. I'm assuming you have an understanding he could need his space and he may not. You know him and I don't. I do know that currently I ahve been struggling with my aspirations and although I haven't failed or given up it has took a toll in my personal life, I don't want to talk to people period, and I snap at people who are close to me blood or not, and I'm not really friendly, I'm telling you this because I want you to know the possible outcomes to trying to be under someone who has had a misstep in path. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:29:15 PM |
If this is the guy you've only dated once or twice and have know just a couple of weeks, I think you might want to slow down.
A person cannot enlist in the Navy until they've passed a medical exam first. He'd have to have passed the Department of Defense medical review board before enlisting, so it's kind of funny how he claims he was in basic training prior to passing a medical review.
The Navy requires that before a person can enlist, they must take the ASVAB (Armed Service Vocational Aptitude Battery) test and have a passing score AND have a Navy medical examination. That's when he would have been medically disqualified for military service.
Instead of rushing to support this guy you barely know, you might want to ask him exactly what happened- though I doubt he'll tell you the truth and I doubt you'll see through your fantasy romance to see reality.
Maybe you should keep your lips a bit more sealed when it's about a topic you obviously don't know too much about.
What, did you read up on the enlistment process from about.com and now you feel like you're an expert or something?
OP: Don't listen to this poster. She doesn't know what she's talking about. It's not uncommon for people to get to their initial training and then be sent home for medical reasons. Apparently the duck-walk and the two minute exam from a doctor at MEPS is an in-depth analysis.
In truth, most of the screening at MEPS deals with hearing / vision and any potential issues that the candidate informed the staff about (past hospitalizations/surguries/allergies).
When I went through MCRD San Diego (USMC), there were two guys that were sent home for medical reasons (besides injuries occuring while training / suicide attempts). One was a heart condition and the other was a brain condition that caused seizures. Neither of them knew about the problem before coming to train. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:40:08 PM | If this is the guy you've only dated once or twice and have know just a couple of weeks, I think you might want to slow down.
A person cannot enlist in the Navy until they've passed a medical exam first. He'd have to have passed the Department of Defense medical review board before enlisting, so it's kind of funny how he claims he was in basic training prior to passing a medical review.
The Navy requires that before a person can enlist, they must take the ASVAB (Armed Service Vocational Aptitude Battery) test and have a passing score AND have a Navy medical examination. That's when he would have been medically disqualified for military service.
Instead of rushing to support this guy you barely know, you might want to ask him exactly what happened- though I doubt he'll tell you the truth and I doubt you'll see through your fantasy romance to see reality.
That's true in theory. However, it's not how it always works. Anyone who's been through MEPS processing knows that they often rush you through the process. I just went through a physical for a direct commission into the Reserves (I already have 13 years combined service, so why not finish it up and retire while keeping my civilian career?). Anyway, the process hadn't changed much from when I went through as an enlisted person many years ago. I was in and out (mind you this is for a thorough physical in less than an hour and a half.
When I was in basic back in the 90's we had a troop disappear. Found out later that he had some medical condition that wasn't caught during the MEPS intro physical. So, it does happen - probably more often than it should. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:40:35 PM |
During my Navy service, I personally knew one guy with a heart condition, one with diabetes, and another with an immune deficiency. All were medically discharged soon after diagnosis. Depending on their length of service, some were eligible for at least partial VA medical benefits.
OP, perhaps your paramour might be eligible as well?
I'm not an expert on his situation, but it didn't sound like he was there long enough to get anything other than an ELS (entry-level separation).
I doubt there'll be many veteran programs that'll open to him. | |
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| How do I help him?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:15:03 PM | Msskarly...you know. I read back into your history a bit because you've made quite a few threads discussing some kind of drama surrounding some guy.
Either you flip men like you change underwear or something just isn't right with your stories.
This guy, this "navy guy"...how long have you been with him? Have you EVER met him for REAL like IN person? How long have you known him?
It seems to me that you are either the most easily played woman I have encountered or you just have one heck of a long string of men with constant crisis and drama in their lives.
Which is it because something here just is NOT matching up with other posts you've made.
You are one confusing poster and you aren't establishing much of an ethos on my end. | |
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