| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:23:09 PM | | I`ve been told by some women over the years that they have met a guy and had sex with him on the first date even though they knew they`d never see him again yet they make someone they like wait and spend more money on her. Anyone here admit to ever doing that? Does anyone here over the age of 16 really think making us wait for sex causes us think "wow, she`s a keeper"? | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:42:31 PM | I'm sure there are some women over 16 who would have protected sex with a hot guy she likes on the first date because she needs a meaningless sexual release even though she's not interested in heading to the Here We Go Again Wedding Chapel.
Doesn't sound like you're looking for a keeper.
You appear to be a man who on the first date pays for a woman's dinner with the expectation of sex. Just be honest about that before hand and you won't be so disappointed with the results. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:48:32 PM | | Blame it on all the studies that say men won't marry woman they sleep with on the first date...so we wait a little when a guy we really dig comes along. We'd rather develop his interest in our personalities and other aspects beyond what's between our legs. A lot of a person's mystery (and therefore the other's interest) is lost when you first have sex, for men and women. What's wrong with waiting and revealing one layer at a time, rather than the whole onion at once? | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:55:46 PM |
had sex with him on the first date even thougth they knew they would never see him again..yet make some one they like wait and spend more money
So you are looking for a woman who likes you and will do you on the first date so you don't have to spend money?
or
do you want a woman who knows she will never see you again do it..
or a woman who you want to see again to keep doing you after the first time?
or
a woman who wll do you after a hot dog and like you too after 2hrs..
T | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:04:06 PM |
Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again? You've made a pre-supposition in this question. How very unfair.
Does anyone here over the age of 16 really think making us wait for sex causes us think "wow, she`s a keeper"? Not me, but at the same time, I certainly don't make it a habit to have sex on the first date either.
Something wrong with wanting to know the person you're getting into the relationship with before sex? | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:20:51 PM | leglover,
Actually, she's only "making him wait" if immediate sex is an expectation on his part, or if sex is THE reason he wants to spend time with her. Otherwise, they're just getting to know each other. And I think that's more how women see it.
Those women who'll have sex with a man on the first date when she knows she'll never see him again? That's because that even if he turns out to have a crummy personality it won't matter and she won't be stuck with regret, because she'll never see him again anyway. Plenty of men do the same thing.
Women wait for guys they like not so much as a test per se, or thinking that it will magically make him value her more (well I guess in some cases that may be their motivation if a woman was raised in a very madonna-whore culture, but not always). The other reason is simply that if you think you like someone, you want to wait to get to know them more so that you'll know you REALLY do like them and want to stick around with them (and want them to stick with you), and also then the sex can be better between you too.
Because having sex really is a commitment of sorts, no matter what some people claim. Not in the sense that it's a commitment for a relationship, but that it changes something between you permanently. If two people have sex and then decide for one reason or another never to do it again, will their chance meetings in public ever be exactly the same and elicit the same emotional response from each individual (whatever that may be) after that? I doub it... | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:25:17 PM | Sorry, I mean no disrespect, but this just makes me laugh...
...because I thought I went back in time and was at recess!!
Are you seriously asking this at your age?
Do you know how many other threads are on here regarding this stereotype of women & money?
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:37:06 PM | If you read the threads here, you will see there are a lot of men who frown on a woman who doesn't make them work for it. For some reason, sex on a first date makes certain men treat you with no respect. I would guess that's why some women withhold sex from someone they are really interested in.
Edit: And because there are guys who think that because they are sleeping with you, it means they don't have to bother taking you out anymore. That appears to be what you are saying. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:21:25 PM | Yep. Here's why:
If I think a guy may be relationship material, I want to get to know him before I get involved. I don't want to get enmeshed with someone who's really wrong for me.
If I'm just looking for a roll in the hay, I don't care if they are long term material. They just have to work well in the here and now. If they are passing through town, I don't have to worry about some guy who really isn't suited for me calling the next day or next week and trying to turn it into a long term thing.
In either case, I have to like the person. I just have different standards for different situations. It really is pretty simple in my mind.
By the way, I don't think of myself as "making them wait." I'm making *myself" wait to see if they are someone I'd want to be involved with.
BTW, if you think it's about spending money, it's going to show in how you relate to women and that's *really* going to work against you. It's not a very good attitude. Dating is about getting to know people & enjoying their company. There's lots of ways to do that and they don't have to involve money *or* sex. That doesn't mean they can't, but they don't have to. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:30:49 PM | Yeah...here we go again.
If she puts out right away...she's too easy for LTR's.
If she hold back...then she's milkin' us...for a movie ticket, ten ounces of meat and a baked potatoe.
But...ladies...this does bring a question to mind. Are we to assume your willingness to have sex on the first date as a sign of disinterest. Just a physical fill in the blank on the journey to find your guy.
At any rate...I could never have a LTR with any woman that would lower her standards to "peal my onion" at any point. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:51:07 PM |
Does anyone here over the age of 16 really think making us wait for sex causes us think "wow, she`s a keeper"?
How many girls have you met here that were UNDER 16?
This statement can be misleading in many ways. Are you saying that no girls under 16 have sex yet or that they are too stupid to know to "hold out" and make the guy wait?
Age seems to know no bounds when it comes to stupidity. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 5:25:18 PM |
But...ladies...this does bring a question to mind. Are we to assume your willingness to have sex on the first date as a sign of disinterest. Just a physical fill in the blank on the journey to find your guy.
Can't speak for anyone besides myself but, no, that's not safe to assume with me. If I decide to have sex I do so because I am feeling the moment and enjoying who I am with and that is that. What happens after that is anyones guess but no decisions based on if I do or don't have sex right away. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:37:03 PM | | Exactly Leeanne, How long a woman waits to "put out" has no real bearing on how much we like her unless she just sucks in bed and yes that will end things fast just as she would loose interest if i were bad in bed i`m sure and as you said if she is great in bed i`m more likely to hang around. It just seems that woman like to use the sex crutch when a man doesn`t call her. They don`t like to imagine that he didn`t feel enough of a connection to pursue it or maybe she was just not much fun in general, it has to be that he got what he wanted and didn`t call so he`s an a$$hole. I see responses that say women don`t really bring money into this but i assure you i`ve had dates that were supposed to be dutch but they get pissed when i hold them to it and start the whole "gentleman" thing into it. Oh yes, no i didn`t know how many times this topic has been discussed in the forum and honestly don`t care, i simply don`t read each and every thread here. Do you???? | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:46:19 PM | Yeah but what if you rope him in early with your sexual skill then he turns out to be a totally lame idiot?
Then you're either stuck with a stalker or with the knowledge you just hurt someone's feelings in a serious way.
You can't win 'em every time, no matter which way you go. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:01:07 AM | OP, where your premise is off-track is in thinking that a woman is not having sex with you strictly due to the fact that she wants to rope you into a relationship. She's not having sex with you because she doesn't WANT to. Period. It has nothing to do with wanting you to buy her dinners, take her dancing and get the most 'Buck for the f*ck', as you seem to think.
Few women in their 40's and 50's will be inclined to sleep with a man on a first date. Sure it happens. I slept with two of my husbands on the first date and they married me. But the reason I slept with them is because there was an immediate attraction and connection. Had I not felt that, I wouldn't have slept with either of them.
For you to assume that these women are playing hard to get so you will fall for them is rather egotistical on your part. Has it occurred to you that they don't find you all that attractive or they don't feel chemistry with you or that you come across as a jerk who is into meeting women primarily for the purpose of getting laid? Because that is sure how you are coming across in this thread. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:15:14 AM |
Not really OP, however, some men feel if they do spend money on a person that they are now "entitled" to sleep with them. I've seen this over and over again and it makes my weirdar go off as there appears to be a lack of emotional depth.
If this is how "you" feel OP you might as well find youself a decent hooker....that way you won't feel cheated.
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:23:46 AM | Hilarious thread..
Personally, have had many dates, and it always goes one of three ways, not interested at all, fancy but not ltr material, or ltr material.
I always always go dutch on dates (pay for half) unless the guy insists, but if I am completely uinterested I will force the issue.
Unfortunately especially here in the UK us ladies are brought up to think that if a guy likes you he will want to wait and not like to think that you just jump in the sack with just anyone, and women are tought that a man if he really likes you will pay for everything... come on we are in the year 2009 and we wanted equality, so it all has to be even.
I think if a woman is liberal and happy to go with the flow and it ends in intercourse, then as long as they are careful whats it matter... two consenting adults, and as long as both parties are honest with intentions etc, no one will get hurt.
However saying that I had a brilliant date recently and we ended up sleeping together on the first date and now we are off on our second date tomorrow.. and I will say I think very highly of him as he does me... nothing about how good or bad it was, but because the spark was immediate and we really were in tune with one another.
Thats just my two pence worth... and a UK based answer to my thoughts about it all..
Elaine | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:00:13 AM | | Well first off, the phrase "at least buy me dinner first" probably didn`t come from a man and second that`s not really the point of this question anyway. The real point is, what is the logic behind banging some guy you know you really don`t want long term yet when you meet someone you see a future with you and you`re attracted to you delay the sex? You`re all thinking this is a personal thing for me but it`s not. I just want to understand the psycology of it. Is it that sometimes women just want to get off and doing it with the guy you have no real interest in is easy to do and to forget while doing it with someone you see a future with might ruin your chances because he`ll think you`re "a slut". Stop bringing me into this and answer the question itself. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:15:04 AM | I understand your hypothetical situation but it would get a better response if it was about people rather than women. Men do this too, right?
Like this:
Why do some people have casual sex with people who they know they have no interest in, yet delay the sex when they hope for a love affair?
It seems contradictory, but isn't it actually easy to understand? | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:20:22 AM | | I wouldn't hold off sex for the reason of what she might think of me. I would be wanting to wait to get to know her. That's the difference. I don't walk around thinking that a woman would think less of me for having sex with her sooner rather than later. If she did happen to think that, knowing that she did wouldn't matter one way or the other. The point of it being something women do is about the idea that women think men will think less of women for having sex early on. Do men worry about whether the woman would think less of the man in that way? | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/17/2009 7:49:48 AM | I think this post actually hi-lites the differences in how SOME men and women view sex and a reltionship.
I am like FF, it has nothing to do with the man and his waiting for sex. Its all about how I feel about having sex with him, honestly I count not care less about how he feels at that time, I am sure that many will go after me on that point but it is all about ME when this decision is being made. | |
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| Why is it ok to do him if you think you`ll never see him again?
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:47:05 AM | Blame it on all the studies that say men won't marry woman they sleep with on the first date...
This is merely analyzing a symptom, and not the cause. The cause of why people would feel one way or another would be about social conditioning of attitudes about sex and relationships during their formative years.
A lot of a person's mystery (and therefore the other's interest) is lost when you first have sex, for men and women.
I find this statement utterly ridiculous.
What's wrong with waiting and revealing one layer at a time, rather than the whole onion at once?
That whole point becomes rather moot, as it depends on how an individual might choose to reach an objective.
There's nothing inherently wrong in revealing one of the most important aspects of a sexual relationship before you're too emotionally invested, only to find out that you are at very opposite ends of the spectrum, particularly if you are older and have clearly defined your sexual wants, needs and desires in prior relationships.
Sex, is most certainly a deal maker, or deal breaker for me.
If you read the threads here, you will see there are a lot of men who frown on a woman who doesn't make them work for it. For some reason, sex on a first date makes certain men treat you with no respect. I would guess that's why some women withhold sex from someone they are really interested in.
So they withhold sex in order to not be rejected by the men that would hold that double standard?
You mean so they can appeal to the masses? Quantity over quality? It certainly explains why a lot of women can't filter out jerks.
That's sounds like desperation to me.
If I think a guy may be relationship material, I want to get to know him before I get involved. I don't want to get enmeshed with someone who's really wrong for me.
And it's for that same reason I don't want to get emotionally attached to someone if we're not sexually compatible. It's an area where I won't compromise, whatsoever.
Nope never had a 1 night stand and never will. I have self respect.
Self respect has nothing to do with it, if you simply have sex because you enjoy sex.
If it was something to respect a woman for, we'd all be chasing after nuns...
But the reason I slept with them is because there was an immediate attraction and connection. Had I not felt that, I wouldn't have slept with either of them.
That's exactly it. In my last two LTR's, the immediate attraction and connection was there right there from the beginning, and lasted thoughout the relationship. Till the very last day, as a matter of fact.
Some of us have learned from having both, "early" chemistry, and "delayed" chemistry that there is a distinct difference in the quality of the relationship in the long term.
Women may want to believe otherwise, but they don't have relationships with women, and only think of other "women" from their perspective, and assume that they're all wired the same.
It's not really worth discussing at any length, except in a forum where ideas and opinons are exchanged.
I've never discussed the "topic" with a woman, I've dated. The attraction and chemistry are there, or they're not. I simply move on. I don't lament over it. It's simply a numbers game.
And I'm sure it's left more than one woman scratching her head and coming to all kinds of other conclusions to make herself feel better. That I must have been a jerk, or only looking to sleep with her. I really don't care.
I'm looking for that "component" of strong physical attraction and chemistry, to be present in someone I'm considering for a relationship.
For you to assume that these women are playing hard to get so you will fall for them is rather egotistical on your part.
It's also the utmost arrogance of most women thinking that all single men are that desperate that we really need to go to any lengths further than picking up the phone, and calling an old girlfriend, or some other woman, in order to get laid.
Men have options as well. AKA, their little "black book".
Quite frankly, if all a guy really wanted, was to get his rocks off, guaranteed, he could safely get relief any number of ways that aren't any more expensive than paying for a date in a decent restaurant.
Yeah but what if you rope him in early with your sexual skill then he turns out to be a totally lame idiot?
Men run that very same risk as well. Don't kid yourself.
Does anyone here over the age of 16 really think making us wait for sex causes us think "wow, she`s a keeper"?
Some, not only assume it, they buy it, lock, stock, and barrel, and live and die with the belief.... | |
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Yeah it's all about the money - I make guys I like spend more money before he gets sex - NOT!! Funny how the preception some men have of womens choices breaks down to money! 
