| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:24:14 PM | .....I've been a member here for a while but I haven't always used it. I am only here because I am trying to find someone that I share common interest with. I am not much into bars because I really don't drink so I figured this would be a good way to meet someone special. However, I get very few responses maybe an email or two a week. I am not really sure why because in real life I do just fine. Also, I notice a lot of terrible profiles that appear to be filled with lies, bitterness, or just pure shallowness.
I think that it may be time for me to delete my profile and maybe try to find meet and greet type of events instead. Or join some type of club.
Does anyone else feel the same way? | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:38:41 PM | Have you tried the paying dating sites? I found that there are more genuine people on them (ones actually looking for a LTR and not just sex and/or talking forever). I also had better reply rates, as people were forced (by monthly subscription fees) to be more active in their search, versus just hanging out on the forums or using it when they have a moment.
Men's response (and probably women's too) only average about 5-10%, or at least that's been the consensus of most of these threads. You may have better luck at the meet and greets, as you mentioned.
HR  | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:51:04 PM | nmaccari,
Question? If you do just fine in real life, why are you on here? I mean are you not finding women you share common interests with in real life. Don't seem to me like you're having much success on that side either.
But to answer your question, I do indeed feel the same way, that's why after 4 months of being on this site, I became wayyy more interesting in the forums...that's about the best thing on here, lol.  | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:56:24 PM |
I am not much into bars because I really don't drink
Thats a rather bad excuse.
You go to bars to meet women not to drink.
So drink a club soda and talk to the women.
Or sit home complaining about your dating failures.
That's up to you. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:58:31 PM | | It's possible to leave your ad up, check in once a week, using the site a few minutes here and there. This is not really a place to be or not be. It's a site you log on and check for mail, write an email, then go do something else. You're not here, because there is no here. You're at home looking at your computer screen. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:01:45 PM | Wow. This was a mistake posting this thread. I really didn't mean it to come across this way. I should of thought a little more before I wrote it. I am trying to delete this thread but it won't let me.
I do just fine in real life when I meet someone but it's not always easy if you don't live in a big city where there are a lot of singles. So, that's why I was thinking about finding events and things like that. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:20:50 PM | It is very disheartening, sometimes even cruel. Keep in mind the boards, as much as they are there for education, also let people dump some of stuff thats bugging them and possibly preventing from finding that good one.
If you are serious about finding 'the one' you should be in some kind of club that interests you, (something to talk about), perhaps several, definately keep going to functions, and keep trying to get dates the old fashioned way, in person.
Putting yourself out there means going out there as well.
The pay sites are the same, except for the possibility that some randon person will be 'matched' because they clicked the same box you did, and will probably be on the other side of the planet. Seriously try both, for the cost of a good dinner with bad conversation you could be on there for a couple months.
Keep at it brother, there are, after all plenty of fish.... groan... | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:23:58 PM | I just log in to interact on the forums now.
I don't bother with msging the girls I feel are a match any more cause they just ignore it and won't talk to you.
Women are for the most part the pickers and choosers here (and this experience isn't any different for other pay sites ). The men pretty much sit back and pray.
I've been going to social meetups now and I've been talking to more girls than here. Granted I'm not dating them but at least I'm TALKING to them and having fun unlike the trash that is online dating.
Don't bother with deleting your profile, you can leave it on and people will see what they missed :) If you do get any interest, you're gonna be notified by e-mail so you don't have to check in at all. So if you're ready to quit, just delete the shortcut to this site and walk away. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:24:09 PM |
but it's not always easy if you don't live in a big city where there are a lot of singles.
So there we have it. The true reason he is here is that he is just to lazy to make the effort. If finding someone is truly that important to you then you should be willing to work harder for it. You shouldn't be expecting some miracle out of nothing. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:27:38 PM |
Wow. This was a mistake posting this thread. I really didn't mean it to come across this way.
How else did you epxect to come across? You make a post about how disheartening this place is, and how you can't meet anyone. Did you expect a round of applause?
Women are for the most part the pickers and choosers here (and this experience isn't any different for other pay sites ). The men pretty much sit back and pray.
How do you know what the other men on this site do? Just because you sit back and pray doesn't mean they do. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:33:27 PM | The site's not bad. Lots of people are shoeing them away with a bat.
You might reconsider your profile. Its a bit static, maybe doesn't reflect much about what you're like. Great pics at your age make a world of difference. Very good pics. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:39:14 PM |
but it's not always easy if you don't live in a big city where there are a lot of singles
Uhm, I don't mean to sound harsh but............
Who are you kidding?
I just did a search for you in your area and there's 419 profiles of women between the ages of 32 and 40, within 25 miles of you. So don't go there with that small town line.
And if there's 419 single women within 25 miles of you here just on PoF....then just think how many more there'll be in real life in addition.
Again, not being harsh just pointing out a few things. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:59:47 PM |
By the way, as many or more people 'find each other on the boards' then through the matches..
Oh really?
I wasn't aware of any study or comprehensive statistical analysis comparing the success rates between the forum and the dating sites.
Please provide a link. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:04:31 PM | Amazing. I can't believe how harsh these forums can be. Let me try to explain. I actually spend Monday through Thursday in a town called Dover because I work down there. It's like 45 miles south of New Castle. So, that's what I meant by a small town. It kind of puts me out of my way if I am trying to meet someone in let's say Philadelphia or Wilmington on a Monday Night.
I do appreciate all the feedback especially the more positive kind. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:05:19 PM | Well, if you find it so disheartening, then just delete your profile. Why do you feel the need to announce this to us?
I meet a TON of people off this site ... am I still single, yes, but I've dated several people for months at a time that I've met off here, and honestly, I'm single primarily b/c I'm too picky and decide someone's not good enough for me pretty quickly, which is my own issue, not the site's problem.
Leave if you want to leave, I don't think any of the men will try to convince you to stay, as it means one less guy to compete with ... but I don't see why you've come here to whine about how sh1tty of an experience you're having. If you think you're going to find non-shallow and non-bitter people in clubs or meet and greets, then have at it and good luck! Sounds like you're trying too hard to make the magic happen here ... and that's just not how it works. Sorry. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:06:54 PM |
Does anyone else feel the same way?
Well yes I do, it is time.
Your rewards will match your effort. So why bother doing anything half@ssed? | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:12:40 PM | socialization is difficult for us all in this technological world.....we always have a gadget (phone, ipod, computer, remote....)in our hands. we forget to look up and see the world. hang tight. it is the same for us all.....  | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:12:46 PM |
actually spend Monday through Thursday in a town called Dover because I work down there
Okay,.....so.........157 profiles within 25 miles of Dover. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:22:19 PM | nmaccari, don't delete your profile... just hang out here in the forums with all the cool peeps 
Seriously....I think some put too much stock in thinking they are going to actually find "the one" and/or "true love" via online dating sites (whether that be paid or free). But let's face it, that ever elusive product is something that can not be ordered up, neatly packaged, and delivered to us express mail, via the world wide web.
Just as in real life, it isn't going to happen just because we want it to.
Sure, people meet, some have even gotten married and lived happily-ever-after, or not...so it can and does happen now and then. But don't use this site (or any for that matter) as your only avenue for meeting others. Simply view it as yet another window of opportunity...
In the meantime just get out and enjoy life....oh, and hang out here in the forums.
Best of luck in whatever you decide =)
Oh, had to edit, to include that I myself live in what some would call a "small town"....heck, I even work 2nd shift....yet, I meet people everyday (whether that be here or in the real world). So I do agree, it's how you approach it and what you yourself are willing to put in to it. | |
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LBA26
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Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 21 | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:26:52 PM | starfish342:
How do you know what the other men on this site do? Just because you sit back and pray doesn't mean they do.
Maybe I should've bolded "for the most part" for you. I didn't blanket ALL women as choosers and ALL men as prayers. Take it in context instead of face value | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:29:08 PM | I agree with the OP.
I have found that I get contacted by alot of "married" men who pose as "single" on their profile. It can be disheartening after this happens afew times.
Also most of the guys that have either contacted me or me them have all ended up living on the other side of town and neither of us want to travel that far for dating.
So I come here for the forums...................LOL  | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:47:31 PM |
Well, if you find it so disheartening, then just delete your profile. Why do you feel the need to announce this to us?
Fair! I should have thought more before I posted. I have no self pity. My life is very good and I date just about every weekend but I just haven't found anyone special that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
What I meant by disheartening is more like frustration at how people lie on here and are shallow. Also, I posted because I wanted to see if it were just me that didn't think this site was well balanced. | |
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| I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:59:15 PM |
think that it may be time for me to delete my profile
Ok. Do you need help finding the 'delete profile' option?
Women are for the most part the pickers and choosers here (and this experience isn't any different for other pay sites ). The men pretty much sit back and pray
This goes both ways. I don't know why so many people seem to think ONLY men have trouble finding someone and why ONLY women are the ones who won't respond. | |
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