| | Best dating site advice article!Page 1 of 1 | One of the best things about marriage is not dating.
Don't get me wrong. I envy the freedom of my single and childless friends.
They come and go as they please. They splurge. They dream big and fret small. If they are sleep deprived, it's usually because they were out partying with kindred spirits, equally unencumbered, and not because they tripped on a Polly Pocket while escorting a wailing toddler to the Elmo potty at 3 a.m.
But when these friends divulge war stories from the dating battlefield, I find myself looking forward to the To-Do List my wife is sure to pen before the weekend.
A female friend who joined an online dating service used to relay messages she received from aspiring suitors. These introductory paeans were riddled with slang, excessive punctuation, neologisms, mangled syntax, abbreviations, atrocious grammar and egregious emoticons.
The clumsiness was odd since, when it comes to online dating, you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
Fortunately, help has arrived.
This week, the dating site .com published an interesting story titled, "Exactly What To Say In A First Message."
"We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts," wrote the analysts. "Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant."
The result: "A set of rules for what you should and shouldn't say when introducing yourself online."
Rule No. 1: Be literate
When making contact with a potential partner, you should not sound like a ninth grader who is texting from a food court. Avoid "words" such as "ur," "r," "u," "ya," "luv" and "wat."
Note: "LOL" is fine.
Rule No. 2: Avoid physical
compliments
Do not tell a potential partner he or she is "gorgeous," "beautiful" or "sexy." This will come off as "creepy."
Non-physical compliments work, especially if bundled with the words "cool," "fascinating" and "awesome."
The word "pretty" actually cuts both ways, since it boosts reply rates when used as an adverb ("pretty good") and decreases them when used as an adjective ("you're pretty").
Rule No. 3: Use an unusual greeting
Traditional salutations ("Hello," "Hi,") do not generate as many responses as informal greetings such as "How's it going?" and "What's up?"
Rule No. 4:
Don't try to take it outside
Until a rapport is established, do not ask for a phone number or email address. Respect anonymity. Do not scare people away.
Rule No. 5: Bring up specific interests
The more detail you provide about hobbies and lifestyle, the more likely you are to connect. Some of the words linked with above-average reply rates include "band," "tattoo," "vegetarian" and, inexplicably, "zombie."
Rule No. 6: If you're a guy,
be self-effacing
Use words such as "awkward" and "kinda." These words convey vulnerability and generate impressive reply rates.
Rule No. 7: Consider becoming
an atheist
Apparently, online daters are turned off by religion. This does not apply to Greek mythology, since mentioning "Zeus" created a spike in replies.
So there you have it. To gauge the quality of this advice, I shall now synthesize the seven rules and create a perfect first contact.
Ladies, this is how I would introduce myself online:
"Hola! What is up? I hope you are pretty good. I do not want your number. I am merely a vegetarian zombie with a passion for molecular gastronomy and cool bands. I have a tattoo of Zeus with the word `Awesome' in his thunderbolt. Sorry if that seems kinda weird. It must be because I do not believe in God. LOL."
In conclusion: I hope my wife never leaves me.
- Vinay Menon
Toronto Star - Sept 17, 2009. | |
|
| Best dating site advice article!
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:59:45 AM | that is awesome lol I wonder if that would actually work. will have to try it next time.
love the vegetarian zombie part lol | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Best dating site advice article!
Posted: 9/19/2009 4:16:18 PM | | It's the vegetarian zombie thing that gets me. Every time I read that line, I just think of a zombie shuffling down the street moaning, "GRAINS!" | |
|
| Best dating site advice article!
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:23:14 PM |
zombie shuffling down the street moaning, "GRAINS!"  .
OMG that is awsome! i think maybe i'll have to steal this idea for this years zombie walk | |
|
| |
| Best dating site advice article!
Posted: 9/22/2009 7:58:48 AM | | Molecular gastronomy, the latest in a long line of trends of charging a hell of a lot, for not very much, of stuff if you knew you what you were eating, then you would be throwing up every last molecule of it. | |
|
| Best dating site advice article!
Posted: 9/23/2009 11:52:20 AM | "Rule No. 7: Consider becoming an atheist"
hahahaha, that cracked me up. Yeah give up your faith to better your chances in the online dating world, that's some solid advice right there. hahahahahahaahhaha
Personally I think the religious types are better off finding a potential mate in their church. I know plenty of people who view their church as a social activity rather than a place of worship. Sad actually... | |
|
| |
Home
login 
