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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/17/2009 4:04:20 PM | First off, let me just say that this is not me trying to get guys to have sex with me. This is a phenomenon that makes me feel like maybe I should have a sex change operation or something.....
Now that I have your attention, here is my situation.
I'm 39 and in my sexual prime. And single. And deathly afraid of getting pregnant or worse.
However, from what some guys tell me, I believe I am able to see both sides of the coin. *That's what they said anyway, so please direct all flamers to them !*
I sat down one day and started thinking about, "Gee, I wonder what it feels like when a guy cums.", because I have an inkling it's different than how it feels when I woman cums. (I'm very curious by nature, and tend to notice things most ppl don't).
I also watch a lot of porn, but only when the mood strikes me. It came to me one night, while I was watching a very deep, very aggressive, hands-on-her-head blowjob, that if I were a guy, and had a d**k, I would LOVE and forever stand by any woman who could do that for me and WANT to do it, knowing how great it makes me feel. I mean, I wouldn't give a s**t if she cheated on me, nothing.
I mean OMFG the power of not having to worry how hard I could thrust would drive me insane. Knowing she would take it and she truly WAS loving every minute of it would probably make every atom in my body explode at once.
I also believe I can finally understand and accept the simple truth: if I had a Washington Monument in my pants, I damn sure would be banging every thing I could.
Ladies, ladies! Hear me out! Please! This is NOT a values/moral situation AT ALL. The lust I have been feeling comes over me like a huge wave I am defenseless to repel. Honestly. Then all I think about is sex.
I called my friend Jon in Florida, explained this to him, and he was like, "Heh. Sounds ike me you're describing. I'm like, "no way". And Jon and I had the longest talk about all this. (We are just friends, probably mostly because of the distance between NJ and FL, now that I think about it, but we are very open with each other, so we use each other as sounding boards on the opposite sex).
But wait! The female side of my brain is SCREAMING: "HOW DARE YOU SELL OUT? LOOK AT THAT PICTURE! YOU KNOW YOU COULD NEVER TAKE ALL OF THAT! YOUR THROAT ISN'T BIG ENOUGH AND YOUR GAG REFLEX IS TOO STRONG!
Sad but true :-(.
I reflect back on days of my teenage years in which blowjobs were considered something a "slut" would do. It felt dirty and demeaning to me and I only ever did it for guys I really really loved. However, since hitting my sexual prime, my point of view is way different.
So, at the crossing point of these two points of view lies the crux of most heterosexual relationship problems: MOST PEOPLE CANNOT SEE BOTH SIDES OF THE COIN!
As I said earlier, maybe I should have a sex change operation, I just don't know. Maybe I need brain surgery. But this has been driving me NUTS since I figured it out. It almost feels like I found the Fountain of Youth, but it will take VERY open minded, un-hung-up, real women to actually capitalize on it.
The past few years I have really had a large personal growth spurt, and I really honestly most of the time live my life in such a way that I have been asking myself, "How would you feel if someone did that to you?". As in, "I just cut some guy off on the highway. How do I feel when that is done to me?"
Yeah the golden rule. My deep dark secret lol. And you may think it's corny, but I really don't care. :p
But it's true. I don't cut people off in traffic because it pisses me off when that is done to me!
I just took the theory a little bit farther than most. (See what I mean about picking up on the little details)?
However, and this is for another thread, the guy should also get into a woman's head and really figure out how she feels about sex and why. PAY ATTENTION to her responses. If you're lucky enough to have a woman who will actually TELL YOU what she likes, what feels good, 'ow, that hurts', whatever, you better follow her instructions to a T. Why?
It will make her hotter, which will make the experience mind-blowing for both of you. Also, imagine how great it would feel if you gave her the Ultimate Orgasm.
Don't you (both) deserve that? | |
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/17/2009 4:37:17 PM | H A, what you described some other poster, A MALE, described it as "doing a pirate on the biotch"... It wasn't out of love and respect, but rather to hurt her, and demean her... There was no desire to be loving and kind, nor there was any love, but rather to use and abuse her...
Giving oral pleasure is something that can be great for a guy, especially if he loves you, and is willing to give it back to you...
It may be nice to do deep throat, and in fact it can be learned to do it with practice by getting past the gag reflex a bit, some people can do it without a problem...
You are 39, there are plenty of means of birth control out there, if you have some moving urges and aren't tied to moral feelings, use them, and get out there and enjoy your sexuality...
As lovely as it is to THINK you can see the other genders side, the reality is that all people are different. Some men aren't even into oral sex, just as women. Some men would not find jamming a woman on their member a loving action, nor would they get their ya ya's off... Some do...
You state you are watching a lot of porn, and are getting these ideas from porn... My question to you is where do you think there is any loving action on the part of the woman or the man??? They are performing for money, and doing what they know they can do to make some big bucks, or little ones for those that are armature films.
I have little to no doubt that most men vs women can have totally different orgasms... Heck I know that there are many different parts of a womans body that will respond to stimulation AND orgasms can happen beyond a womans imagination past the usual places a woman orgasms...
It seems to me you are rearing to explore your sexuality, and to please a man. You are curious about how men function, and how to get a man there in a way you never have before.
Get yourself birth control, and use condoms to help cover risk of disease.
Details happen for a lot of people, it is being willing to take a risk to see where you go, and feel safe with your choices... Instead of sitting around watching porn, sounds like you need a real man to see where it goes...
OH and by the way, not all men equate a sexual act with love, and sticking with a woman... They may come back to that "sexual treat", but not all of them will fall for a woman just because he has a mind blowing orgasm... Same with women... | |
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:28:15 PM | I, as a man, can say I would take no pleasure in forcibly cramming my junk down my woman's throat. On the other hand, if she can do deepthroat, hallelujah! But I can't see me ever forcing my stuff down her throat. Nor could I choke, slap, spit on, burn, whip, or any other violent act to the woman I love. (Not unless she talked too dang much! LOL j/k) That stuff's just not in the least bit erotic to me. I might try it if she wanted to, but only she would be enjoying it.
But yeah, you didn't make a point at all with your post. You started out ok, then totally derailed yourself. What was your point, again? | |
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:35:14 PM |
I also watch a lot of porn, but only when the mood strikes me. It came to me one night, while I was watching a very deep, very aggressive, hands-on-her-head blowjob,
Sorry, you're watching a porno... It's a MOVIE... Get it...? It's acting... (granted not very good acting, but it's acting....)
Trying to understand sex from watching Porn is like trying to learn to drive by watching DaethRace2008 or the Fast and The Furious 4....
Or watching Star Trek to try to understand Astronomy....
A lot of porn is meant to degrade women, that is the audience they often cater too.... those who want to abuse, degrade and use women as cum dumpsters.... Most men only watch a little porn here and there... and to be honest not that often...
Go to a guys house and look through his movies/Dvd's... you'll see car movies, war movies, comedies, action flicks, sci-fi. you get the idea... maybe a few porno... I bet I have a few hundred movies altogether maybe even over a thousand....... bet I have less that 2 dozen porn... maybe even less than a dozen....it's because even guys (well any of them with an IQ over 25) know that Porn is not representing what sex is like... | |
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:37:23 PM | I have good reading comprehension.. and that was, strange..
Stop going nuts worrying about it. The female orgasm is better, it has got to be. I can't have one standing, I'd fall the hell over quicker than a tipped cow lol. Besides, you will never figure out what it feels like for other women neither, the unknown factor is not limited to men.
Everyone in the porn industry is sad, yes even the guys. It is not just the girls that sell out, it is equally disgusting for a man to be there. How do you know she likes it? She is paid and directed to be as nasty as possible with little to no focus on her pleasure.
Don't believe everything you see in porns lol
Just solve your worries by giving what you get. There is no way I'd give a guy a deep throated gagger if he didn't lick me like he was starving :D .. Then he is forced to feel what I felt like.
Handle inequality in your own backyard first. | |
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:18:34 PM | | You had an epiphany of empathy from what I gathered. Your view of porn though is a bit off, around the 16-20 year old male view. Where you think "Ya that would be AWESOME". A woman who is enthusiastic, sexually, is a wonder to behold, but I would say most guys dont have a huge desire to demean women which is what 90% of porn is about. | |
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:15:06 PM | "It came to me one night, while I was watching a very deep, very aggressive, hands-on-her-head blowjob, that if I were a guy, and had a d**k, I would LOVE and forever stand by any woman who could do that for me and WANT to do it, knowing how great it makes me feel. I mean, I wouldn't give a s**t if she cheated on me, nothing."
Umm...excuse me a moment...ehem. Gotta go...um...clean up!
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:33:06 PM | | Your epiphany is nothing but an 'expanded' ideology as you are experiencing an altered state of perception of intimacy. From your side one could appreciate the sensitivity your body has thus experienced as a woman goes into her prime. Maybe your expression fails in practical coherency, but the ideas are not far fetched or bizarre in any way. You feel that you would like to explore your sexuality from a different perspective, and thinking from a different paradigm can only consequentially be better for you. I seriously doubt that you want to alter your sex, rather that you are curious of your own inhibitions as you shed your old shell for one more willing to explore a different side of yourself sexually. Note to yourself that porn is really different from real life sex - porn is fabricated by men and cater to male fantasies, the majority of it. You could engineer scenarios and design your own fantasies with a trusted partner and you will find that far more fulfilling. | |
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:01:11 AM | Minus one or two women who flat out said they wanted my junk, i was single a lil lonely, said "oh what the hell' and did it..
I have only had sex with someone I loved. ..And I mean deeply, romantically, truly loved.
Now..does that mean I didnt Fu*k like a porn star? Hellz naw. (hah)
We had times of quite, intimate love making, slow, lots of kissing, oral here and there, in my truck, HJ on the couch..stuff like that.
But other nights it would start slow and just bam! outta no where it was like wild crazy never-gunna-have-it-again sex.
And On these rear occasions of straight up porn style sex...I indeed..Thrusted harder than I should have, and put more down her throat then she could handle. (Damn teeth! >.<)
Truth is sometimes I hurt her when I was going a little to fast..and too hard..and she told me. It ended, and we got back into a nice loving motion.
Bottom line, even tho Im a guy and 'supposed' to have a animalistic want for un-bridaled sex, Sex outside of love...isn't as fulfilling. | |
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| A (different) woman's views on sex/Sorry it's so long, but worth it, sooo worth it!
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:30:59 AM | OP, I read your post once....and like the masses I was "like" HUH?!? Then, I read it again.... this time with my head tilting back and forth sideways like a dog does when it is trying to figure out something...and nope, I was still left confused.
I was able to decipher a bit more after reading the sub sequential posts by my fellow forum POF'ers....so, for sh*ts and giggles...I will play!
Yes, I am curious what an orgasm feels for a man and how it differs from mine. But, if it's any better than what "I" experience.....then OMG!
Yes, I would like to see what it is like to urinate standing up, and make patterns in the snow..... Knowing it will not RUN down the side of my leg. LOL.
No, can't say I'm all that enthused about having a man's d*ck forcible shoved down my throat. Don't mind the hands in the hair, no problem him using those hands to guide me, no problem with him telling me what he likes....but forcing it...could possibly FORCE me to BITE and hard!
Sooooo NO, I will not remove my teeth to make “deep throating” easier!
Yes, we all (both genders) have sexual urges, but I think after most reach an age of maturity....we ALL for the most part can control those urges without humping anything that twitches.
Yes, I think you might be watching a tad too much porn, not advising you NOT to watch....but you seem to be basing from what I can understand, your "epiphany" on what paid actors/actresses are doing on a screen. Hun, get OUT there in the real world, educate your self on birth control/safe sex, and explore for yourself.
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