| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 6:45:57 PM | I realize what century we're living it and talk about equality and all that good stuff, but reality is that most often, it's the male who approaches or makes the first contact. I do approach, and make first contact myself, but speaking in numbers, there are more men who approach/write me first.
So just throwing it out there as a topic for discussion, a curiosity perhaps to pick your collective brains and interested to hear what you have to say. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 6:57:46 PM | In any given week it generally goes like this:
1. Read through headlines until noticing something that looks like an obvious potential match.
2. Read through rest of profile until seeing things that tell me that she is someone who would like a guy like me and I would like a guy like her.
3. Add her to favorites to bookmark so I don't forget who it is. [or if in extreme cases stop and email her right away. Only happens about 1 out of every few weeks.]
4. Repeat steps one through 3 until getting tired of reading dozens and dozens of profiles.
5. Look through favorites to see who would be the best potential match.
6. Email her and hope she responds. Then read the forums for a few days.
7. Either notice the "read/deleted" without a response, remove from favorites, and start process over ... or read her response to see what she has to say and search for red flags. If there are red flags, start process over. If she sounds like her head isn't up her rear end, ask 20 questions, trade pics, and set up a first meeting. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 7:06:35 PM | It's been a while.
But I used to hit "My Matches"; look at the pretty ones; if the profile was also appealling, I would take some time to send out a message that showed some interest in her; repeat.
Send out about 3 messages. Within a few days get a couple of responses - one would be "no thanks", the other would open the door to further chat. That either lead to a meeting or it didn't; which lead to a second date or it didn't; but eventually the dates stopped and I'd do it again. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 7:28:48 PM | It's like politics between superpowers.
Some days YOU handle the volume. Some days the volume handles YOU.
Really...you only need ONE MATCH, so just like searching for your car key, when you find it, you stop looking.
Why make it complicated? | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 7:48:29 PM | I realize what century we're living it and talk about equality and all that good stuff, but reality is that most often, it's the male who approaches or makes the first contact. I do approach, and make first contact myself, but speaking in numbers, there are more men who approach/write me first.
Saying it's the male who approaches first betrays your own lack of contact. Are there really that MANY more guys who write than you can contact yourself? Speaking numbers also means more potential matches you can write to. Perhaps you're too picky? Forget about writing an essay, a 2-liner individualised to the recipient will do.
Who says you can't do the blanket approach like many guys? The good ole generic copy n paste. You could go crazy. If guys can go for broke with mass mails...I've never tried it myself so I wonder how long they sit at their pc's sorting through profiles..hmm on second thought, they must be doing the Flash Gordon thing. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 7:51:15 PM | ''The volume isn't that high once you narrow your choices down by age, distance, having a photo posted etc. using the advanced search''
hahah add to this :
- those who have fairytales/unrealistic expectations
- those who you are not attracted to
-those with drama/ or those who choose to stay single..dont need a 'man' in their lives
-those that you are physically attracted to them but have some x factor that make all mens run away from them... hehe
(ok that could apply to mens as well loll)
Pretty much bring the number of single women alot more down hehe. Not sure about you, but my match list is pretty much the same as it was about 6 month ago lol. That doesnt make me more attracted to them/and or doesnt mean they will answer me more this time lol. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:01:38 PM |
How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
I just simply don't. There's nothing to handle or deal with. It's not like I examine each and every one of them. Basically the first couple of paragraphs are where I make my decision to even check out a profile because those are what you see in the preview. Most aren't really all the intriguing... hence there's nothing to deal with. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:07:46 PM | I actually like the fact that there is a good number of women out there.
I have a tendency to be over attentive, so when I am talking to a half of dozen women at one time, I usually do better.
I did go on 4 coffee dates in one week, one time, that about made me quit dating entirely, way too much drama for one week.
I love the numbers of single women, but I only need one, when I find her, I will gladly put up my "not single/not looking" sign, and I will never look back. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:11:14 PM | "Saying it's the male who approaches first betrays your own lack of contact. "
Lack of contact...betrayed...oh yes, you stuck a vein...I feel SO betrayed.
If you had read, and had rudimentary comprehension....I was speaking to my own experience, and stated it was such.
I have and do not to the extent or numerically equivalent to the numbers of first approaches, first contacts by the opposite sex....that would be men.
Remedial...reading and comprehension...I won't apologize because I never said anything about lack of contact....Dr. Suess books are great...Green Eggs and Ham, good reading. Cat in the Hat 2..read the first one first. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 9:46:22 PM |
involves excel sheets and a big database....and an assistant...
What can I say..I'm a busy guy....
after reading Yarimelma's reply, had to check out his profile... one of the most original I have ever read, great tounge-in-cheek commentary on dating, still laughing  | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:44:36 PM | i generaly dont approach women first...im not typical and therefore not as desirable as the multitude of men..
i will send out a short greet now and then just to see if i get a reply or a read/delete...
thus far its been read/delete...and one reply who wanted to chat...but who obviously didnt even read my profile since when a mentioned things i thought important i got nothing but dead air
if it wasnt so common that women will pass up a guy who is honest in his profile and instead go for the guy who has cleaned up his profile with the help of the profile review forum...id be more inclined to keep doing the intro e-mails...as it stands im quite tired of presenting the real me...only to be read/deleted
my thoughts are...if you are interested...get to know the guy...dont judge based on a profile alone...some of us are not master wordsmiths...and if theres just one thing in his profile that sounds "off"...maybe try learning weather or not it was meant in the manner you took it...men and women communicate differently...thus a lot of profile info should be considered suspect...untill further clarifacation
not including the standard deal breakers...like children, distance, drug use...ect
or so i see it
F | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:05:34 PM | How I do a first contact?
Check the headline, make sure it isn't completely terrible. aNyThInG tYpEd lIkE ThIs gets immediately ignored.
Check the pictures. If they're all face shots, I get wary, especially if they say they're "a few extra pounds". That combo usually means they're Jabba's twin sister, but they don't want to admit it. A full body shot is always a plus.
Check the profile.
If they sound interesting, I send a message, hope I don't sound too cheesy, and then hope they'll at least read my message before deleting it. But they usually don't, which tends to discourage you from trying again with someone else. | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:59:11 AM | when i was working the site hard a few months ago, i figure i was sending out maybe 15-20 approach emails for every one i received. of those women who emailed me first, only one led to a first meet, but she was a pretty good one, and we ended up dating for about a month.
and gentlemen, bucsgirl isn't coming in here slinging stinky festering globs of dysfunction, so how about a little respect? | |
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| How do you deal with/handle the volume, the number of single women?
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:32:56 AM | haha at scratchof
Brilliant. How hopeful we are we will win a price with our fishing ;-)
But I don't really think that you can judge someone entirely by their profile.
Ok, you look at the physical appearance first and then if she fits your standard her profile. but it's like a CV/resume. One can have a really good one but not perform according to what it said in the first place. And then you might meet a person you weren't really attracted to and have a great time with.
It is nice when people put you in your favourites, but you do wonder why you haven't actually received a message?
Like you've been put on the backburner...
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Right. Next up. Remedial social skills and comprehension for you ummm young lady.
