| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 9:44:14 PM | Just wondering if relationships, online dating, POF, or just trying to date in general has made you bitter about life.
When we are all young, guy or girl, we always think that we'd easily find someone special to complete us and have that fairy tale ending. But I feel like cheating, people's prides, and little annoyances have made us get more wiser but more bitter at the thought of finding their "soulmate" or whatever that person maybe.
Your thoughts please.
Tye | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 9:53:45 PM | not exactly, it helped me gain alot about myself, life experiences and wisdom what I do and don't want in a relationship.
i don't exactly believe in soulmates though, as they say there's always someone for everyone...
i still do want to get married one day to the right good man and raise a family together. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:01:58 PM | | Some relationships have made me angry. Also, they have showed me things that I need to work on. I would like to still believe that there is hope. Would rather be positive than negative. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:05:49 PM |
Just wondering if relationships, online dating, POF, or just trying to date in general has made you bitter about life
No. It's life. You deal and you move on. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:11:39 PM | "Have relationships made you bitter?"
Some of them, yes.
It's in clawing my up out of such black holes that I've learned the most important lessons about my/her/our failures and mistakes, and so such fugues have actually become learning experiences for me.
There's no point in hanging onto to said bitterness (or any other residual negativity) after that point but, until one can actually glean something useful from it, I think it can often be difficult to 'let go' of it.
(Lemons and lemonade, yo.)
Peace | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:12:53 PM |
Just wondering if relationships, online dating, POF, or just trying to date in general has made you bitter about life.
On the contrary, I think I have become more positive. When I look around the forums and see the horror stories others have, I realize I've actually done amazingly well. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:13:00 PM | My past relationships have made me into the man I am today - and I am far from bitter and jaded. Just wiser, more experienced even beyond my years possibly compared to similarly aged men. Not everyone has a pretty past, and neither am I worthy of an exception from some relationship in my past that was the emotional roller coaster from hell. What did I take from it? A hell of a lot, especially in the 'get-to-know-me' better department. | |
|
| |
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:23:05 PM | When it comes to the bitterness and disappointments that can result from relationships gone bad I always think of the closing scene in Woody Allen's film "Annie Hall". I listed the quote from the movie below.
QUOTE: "After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs."END QUOTE
Basically it means no matter how bad things have gotten in our past relationships we will always be looking and needing love,romance and companionship. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:23:29 PM | | Not at all for me. The positives have outweighed the negatives in all of my past relationships, albeit some more heavily so. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:30:30 PM | | Not at all. Hurting is part of loving, living, learning...Bitterness is the defense of the weak. It takes a stronger person to open themselves up. And living a life of bitterness and defensive walls isn't really living. Sadly, some people don't realize that until it's too late. jmo | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:30:52 PM | That Guy Him:
On the contrary, I think I have become more positive. When I look around the forums and see the horror stories others have, I realize I've actually done amazingly well.
Couldn't agree with you more.
 | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:33:05 PM | I learned not to take things to heart, if they don't work out or I don't find what I was looking for, so be it. No fun blaming someone or something for it if it is not meant to be.
I do the same on the Forum too.....if people likes to argue the point by all means go for it, I don't have to participate. No fun having an ego bigger than your head LOL
I just interact on POF, take the piss out of some silly or funny posts, and get my giggle quota for the day then get me fanny offline. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:00:04 PM | I guess it depends on how much importance people put on relationships. That would be like asking if you had several bad jobs makes you bitter about life. Life is more then just having a relationship with someone.
And i doubt very much that negative experiences such as cheating and pride make us more wise. If anything they close us off from love if we let the actions of others control our own value systems and behaviours. Doesn't sound wise to me.
As for soul mates or that special someone we really connect with, i think it depends on how much we let the negative experiences dictate our own expression of self. Someone who is compatible with us won't see us if we are protecting ourselves from the possibility of yet another negative experience, so it probably would be harder to find someone who is compatible with us. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:06:24 PM | tyefromnj1,
not so much bitter as it has brought me closer to the realization that i may never attain what i truly want. that i won't end my life perhaps the way that i truly wanted to. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:24:53 PM | | I feel that what I ask for is not what I am getting as it is mostly what the man asks for that is more important than what I want. It is like the males aren't listening but are so self centered that they move on to the next woman. I'm wondering how many they will go through before they decide they are going to have to mend their ways. One thing about a blind date is that you never know what kind of mind set he'll have. You'll be talking during a meal and it seems like things are going well and he decides later that he is in love with motorcycles or he has to hurry home because he can't leave his dogs very long. Their profiles are still on here. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:26:10 PM | Maria:
not so much bitter as it has brought me closer to the realization that i may never attain what i truly want. that i won't end my life perhaps the way that i truly wanted to.
Here is something to think about: Have you ever had an experience, that was so exceptionally extraordinary, that even in your wildest imagination you could not have come up with this said experience? That some how it just came to be and was so incredibly awesome?
Maria, most often what we want, is not really what we need. And we are happiest when we have our needs met. Meet your needs now, and don't worry about how it will end. You have about another 30 years...You just might be so incredibly surprised one day! Smile...head's up, not looking down when you walk, and watch those corners!! You never know what is coming round the bend. I know these sound cliche...but they are true.
T, | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:32:19 PM | The relationships I have had were all positive influences in my life.
It's the relationships that could have been or I think I should have had are the ones that make me bitter.
Oh, the road not taken...
 | |
|
| |
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:56:50 PM | I would have to agree with " It depends on the relationship". I have been messed up pretty bad by a relationship end(how it ended) more then the relationship its self.
To this day I haven't been able to really get close and or personal with any women. This took place almost 16 months ago.
The ending and how it happened gave me a lot of respect for women in how to really break it off as to what I had done before then. Still trying to move on, but finding it hard to even feel comfortable with anyone new. Old female friends and all that are fine if I knew them before her.... odd but maybe it will let you see there are other people with problems. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:07:56 AM | Past relationships have made me wiser, enabled me to develop standards, and boosted my confidence level.
I will not date just anyone, if he doesn't meet my standards he isn't for me. I will not lower my standards just to say I have a boyfriend. Selective is me.
My exes negative behaviours (abusive and cheating ways) have not made me bitter or angry. My exes are history and their negative ways are part of the past. I don't regret walking away from those toxic individuals. I just pity anyone they become involved with in the present and future for they too will see my exes bad ways. I'm lucky I was able to escape. Some women are not so lucky.
I have a wonderful life and feel very fortunate. I have a job I love, great health, a nice place to live, a loving family and friends who mean the world to me. Hopefully someday I'll meet a man who will join me on the journey of life.
I am resentful when it comes to my father. No forgiveness in my heart for him and no respect either. Growing up without a father was something taken from me by my own father. He missed out on important events in my life and my years of growing up, but that's what he chose. Actions have consequences and I refuse to associate with him whatsoever. I feel just sadness when I remember how he chose to break up his family and walk away. I'll never have peace in that situation. My brother watched over myself, my sister, and mother. He is a true blessing :)
My father's cheating on my mother taught me the value and importance of loyalty. I consider cheating a definite dealbreaker. It is not something I have tolerated in past relationships and I will sure not tolerate it in future ones. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:27:44 AM | We all have emotional baggage, which translates to bitterness. Anyone who claims to only see their past or even their present through rose-colored and positivity-laced glasses, and having no bitterness in them... if full of absolute bullsh1t. And not only just typical everyday bullsh1t either, but disease infested and fly covered, absolutely disgusting bullsh1t with maggots crawling around on top... that kind of bullsh1t.
Beware anyone who appears to be floating along on a cloud of acceptance and forgiveness and sunshiny positivity in their life, because the still-bleeding wounds they have within them, which they feign to be oblivious to, will surely bleed all over YOU if you get close enough to them. This is a very damn cruel world and no one gets through it without damage and bitterness; you may hide it like a pro, even from yourself, but if you aren't deliberate in being aware of it then you'll inadvertantly be sheer poison to anyone who gets close to you.
Mature adults recognize that there are no pristine packages, not in ourselves or others. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:28:23 AM | Not at all. Most all of my relationships have uplifted, inspired, taught me something about myself or life that I previously did not realize and in some way improved my life and understanding of how to navigate love, life and relationships.
Those that I see that are bitter and angry are almost always the types that constantly look outside of themselves for the cause of their dissatisfaction with life, love, relationships, etc.
Oddly, or not so..I'm not sure, I never had the thought that I would have any kind of fairy tale ending. I've never really had the idea that I needed someone to complete me or make my life whole. My early life lessons taught me well that I am the only one that really can do either for myself.
Cheating, pride, annoyances, etc. should make us wiser about our choosing process and those that we allow into our lives. If it makes someone bitter, it simply implies that they don't want to do the work necessary on themselves to be in a place mentally, physically and emotionally to make better choices and learn how to filter who they allow into their lives and who they shouldn't. When people don't trust others - it's not others they do not trust but themselves. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/20/2009 1:21:35 AM | No, I'm still hopeful and just plain glad to be here.
But then I haven't had the experiences to which you allude. Maybe it's sort of a blessing I missed so much of my potential life due to health constraints. | |
|
| Have relationships made you bitter?
Posted: 9/20/2009 3:20:56 AM | When I feel bitter about something it happens in the course of being frustrated. I think it has to do with how by escalating and focusing dissatisfaction enough oomph can be generated to break down a door that won't budge being knocked on. Part of it might be left over from how tantrums stop the show and demand attention, recruiting others to come find out and fix what's wrong. In recognizing that I am feeling bitter I see that I am frustrated, so I know to step back and look at the situation more broadly, because figuring something out works better than complaining about it. I suppose that when bitterness becomes the ongoing, normal state of mind about something, it is because the person gets stuck there, unable to see they are bitter, or finding a home in it as the lesser of evils, preferable to chronic frustration.
I have certainly become bitter at times in the course of experiencing frustration with regard to problems in relationships. I haven't stuck there. The music on the radio does a good job of reminding me to lighten up. | |
|
Home
login 
