| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:03:32 PM | A few years ago I was in Blockbuster. There were some 10 or 11 year old girls running around, obviously picking movies for a sleepover. Pretty common in this town.
Anyway, after about 5 minutes the host mother comes in. I can smell the whiskey off her from 10 feet; she's one of those ugly drunks. She was mean and impatient from waiting in the car and insisted they hurry up. Now, clearly she was going to drive them back. I didn't have a cell with me; I checked the Starbucks next door, but no cops were there. I quickly concluded confronting her would only make the situation worse, as she would just drive off angrier and a greater threat. I didn't want to pass it off to a 17 year old video clerk.
Ultimately, I did nothing. But it still bothers me. Wondering what a woman's perspective on this is? | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:08:05 PM | I'd have dialed 999, given them the licence plate number, a description of the driver and the direction she was heading in when she left. Not much more I can do beyond that.
Not that it would have helped any. UK cops don't like to do any real police work, they might break out in a sweat. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:14:25 PM | I would have used the company phone to call the police and tried to get some other bystanders to assist me in doing a citizens arrest. Then, let the cops take it from there once they arrived. Either that or jump in the front seat of the car (driver's side) after calling the police and not budge till they arrived.
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:18:41 PM | i would have also written down the plate, called the officials, told them where she was headed....but probably after i confronted her and tried to keep the children out of the vehicle. i come from a police family, and am a child advocate.....THROW DOWN TIME  | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:19:55 PM | You could have pulled a Gomer on her..Citizens arrest and taken the keys.
It's been a few years, forgive yourself.
Do something next time. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:30:37 PM | If she was obviously impaired...not just smell...I would have made the call from the store. I would be careful about making that "citizens arrest" as if she was just burping whiskey from last night and legally not impaired...you could find yourself in a world of hurt.
This is a great moral question...why post in ask a girl...don't see the relevance? | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:35:32 PM | | burping whiskey from last night? give me a break. this is a good forum for this question because most men would react in a similar fashion to your response. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:44:09 PM |
If she was obviously impaired...not just smell...I would have made the call from the store. I would be careful about making that "citizens arrest" as if she was just burping whiskey from last night and legally not impaired...you could find yourself in a world of hurt.
This is a great moral question...why post in ask a girl...don't see the relevance?
I agree, you didn't describe anything that sounded like she was acting impaired. She could have had a long day at work and was tired. She could have had one drink or even put on something alcohol was spilt on etc. Unless you saw her wobbling, you need to myob.
I also agree that this isn't a "girl" or "guy" question, it is an off topic question imo. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:51:32 PM | I'm a grownup. I've actually seen drunks once or twice. She was drunk.
I didn't have a cell. The only way to use the store phone (it was the only idea I had), would be to try to convince a 17 year old clerk to go against company policy and let me use it. Which would have taken more time than was available. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:54:19 PM |
burping whiskey from last night? give me a break. this is a good forum for this question because most men would react in a similar fashion to your response.
First of all...I've smelled people that you would swear just left the bar...come to find out they slept in their cloths...had nothing to eat and were clearly unimpaired.
Secondly...Ask a guy/girl forums are limited to 21 posts...thus my response. I sincerely like the subject and would like to see it survive beyond the 21 postings and/or the "off topic" rule that I'm sure someone (not I) will have issue with.
Don't assume my motivation or that of most men....you're apt to be incorrect.
Edit: I see that you were fairly certain of your observations. It is always easy to be an armchair quarterback on these things...I can be confrontational at time and might have let her know what my intentions were if she were to not find an alternate form of transportation.
It is a tough one when you're on the spot.
Sincerely...you should give this a whack in "off topic"...I think it could be a multi-pager. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:55:24 PM | Ok, so I have been tired with my kids going to Blockbuster. I also wobble. I have had alcohol spilt on me. What did this woman do to lead you to believe she was drunk?
And again, why is this a AAG?
You could have followed her to her house to make sure they got home safe. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 1:21:03 PM |
The only way to use the store phone (it was the only idea I had), would be to try to convince a 17 year old clerk to go against company policy and let me use it. Which would have taken more time than was available. You had time to go to Starbucks though.
I'm sure a grown man could have convinced a teenager to let you use the phone in the event of an emergency, especially if your plan was to phone the police. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 1:53:56 PM | A real dilemma you say? whatever.. this happened a couple of years ago???
This is crazy. If it really bothered you you should have wrote down the tag number, and went somewhere and called the police. No time to convince the storeclerk, but time to do nothing? | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:24:50 PM | You call the police right away from the phone in the shop and report her. How would you feel if you come across a story in the paper the following day saying that she had either crashed and any one of the girls had been hurt or if she perhaps caused a huge road traffic incident with multiple deaths. You know you had the power to prevent that from happening...
You really need to think about these things and act quickly. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:26:34 PM | yes but is it worth taking the risk?
If she's not over the limit then no harm done... | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:26:35 PM | ( cracks hiz knuckles, .... this one is going 2 take a second. )
Start by saying driving under the influence isnt a good idea with kiddies in the car.
But is also a wayyyyy over dramatized concern in this country. With alot of grey area's that go overlooked. Americans actually do pretty well. If we counted the number of people driving right now, under the influence of something. ( includ legal perscription drugs ) It would be a mind blowing number. Running into the 100's of thousands.
Dont punish people for what they couldve done. Punish them for what they do. U were drunk driving, U couldve killed someone !!!!! Ive known people who could slam a bunch of straight shots of hard liquor and still drive better than alot of normal drivers. Alcohol doesnt impair everyone to the same extent. So .02 doesnt apply equally to everyone. ( or whatever your local legal limit is.)
The actual annual death toll from that, is actually pretty moderate. Considering the sheer numbers involved.
Interesting side note: Every town across america has a cop bar. Do a little research and next Sat go there. And watch all the local coppies come stumbling out of it at 2am. Pile in their cars and take off for home/wherever.
Im getting to my opinion here. 
Lets take a look at a likely outcome of your scenario OP, had U called the police and reported it.
They pull said driver over, charge her with DWI, poss multiple counts of child endangerment and arrest her. They take her license and in the wonderful way piggies have of exploiting any situation to milk money/revenue out of people.
Ends up costing her 4-5 grand ( which in a down econ, most people cant just shrug off. )
Also mandatory license suspension ( so she cant drive herself to work, her kiddies to school.) Without undergoing some more time consuming and costly formalities. Ah feck Im not going to spend the time it would take to type all this crap out. Which could end up resulting in unemployment/homelessness/loss of custody/the tax payers getting rear ended paying for incarceration/alot more I dont feel like listing.
Lets just say your trying to help, can perversely make things worse overall for da poor kiddie your soooo concerned about. If U truly consider all the implications, that could very easily come out of that incident. Dont chop someone's head off, attempting to "save" them.
Here's a good idea, that would cost too much to develop. So therefore will never be implemented by automakers. Plus would have to be put into effect by law makers, since it wouldnt be a consumer friendly feature. And the govt already haz wayyyyy too much control over people's lives as it is.
The tech is avail, to produce cars that are capable of detecting severely erratic/impaired driving patterns. And actually shutting themselves off, or immobilizing themselves. With the state of onboard monitoring of which modern vehicles are capable. It really wouldnt take all that much to implement this.
But my main pt here is. Unless there's an obvious serious problem ongoing. Wish more people would mind their own f'ing bizness. They're her kids, or kids someone with the right to do so. Gave the authority to supervise. Let her raise them and spend more time worrying about your own life issues.
Or concentrate on getting involved with things and efforts. That actually produce positive results in your community. Like DD progs ( designated drivers ) Or DD awareness progs in your local schools ( drunk drivers ). Just my opinion, but there's too many laws is this free country. Most of which intentionally make bad situations worse.
And I know someone's thinking/going to say. THOSE POOR KIDS COULDVE BEEN KILLED MR SMARTGUY !!!!!! OP, do U remember reading about the terrible accident that woman and those kids had ? No, cause evidentally they made it home just fine. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:44:00 PM | blowmydoorsoff,
I don't know where to begin on this one...but I shall start here.
First...in the town I live...so do my children...who also drive on the road. If I suspect that there is anything out in this world that might endanger them...I am going to do that which is in my power to protect them. Beyond that, I could give a rats azz about what someone may choose to do with their life that may endanger them...but only them.
I could also give a rats azz about the financial ramification of a DUI for someone that chooses to drive under the influence. There is ALWAYS an alternative to that choice. Compare the cost of a cab to that of a DUI. Or the cost of owing a buddy a favor for the 2 am phone call and ride. And don't argue the alcohol induced lack of judgment either. You are sober at one time and able to make arrangements ahead of time. Take a cab both ways.
Agreed we should mind our own business up to and until it becomes a safety issue beyond theirs. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:45:40 PM | would be to try to convince a 17 year old clerk to go against company policy and let me use it.
I would have grabbed the phone and made the call. She could have killed those girls and others besides. Drunk driving is not a game.
But hindsight is 20-20. Next time you'll know what to do.
Citizens arrest and taken the keys.
Take the keys yes, but do not try to detain the women herself physically. I.E, do not hold her, grab her, or tie her up, etc. In most states the offense must rise to a felony in order for a citizen to effect an arrest with the law fully on your side. Most DUIs are not felonies.
(Fine print. IANAL. Seek your own legal council.)
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:46:48 PM | ^^^^ blowsmy doors off.....more bs than i have read in a while. obviously you have never lost anyone on the highway......I HAVE
and my son is a 'piggie'. where do you live?  | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 3:05:04 PM | This woman's perspective is that you should have done SOMETHING in the situation.
Call 911 with her license plate, and take forever checking out her movies...draw it out really long until the cops get there. | |
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| Real story - real dilemma
Posted: 9/20/2009 3:10:44 PM | In 4 a penny, in 4 a pound.
Ha got the last word, sooooooo go shyt in your hats nay sayers, lol.
Here's some more interesting related obs. on the problems alcohol reaps on US society.
Guy up above, its not the cost as it effects the person caught drinking and driving. Its the probable impact those costs could have on this "kiddie" were all worrying about. Which I thought was the root motivation. For everyone being so worried about the situation in the 1st place. If the kid ends up in squalor, cause of societies reaction to a mistake her mother made. Then something about that wouldnt seem just to me, but that's just me.
Never did just accept views handed to me. Tend to look at things from different angles. Esp if its a generally held PC belief. ( cause anyone with 1/2 brain, knows how much PC junk, is pure BS. )
Ever wonder who makes the lions share of profits from liquor sales in the US ???
ans: Your federal and local govt. Sometime when U have a lil time on your hands. Look up what percentage of the price U pay for hard liquor, goes to govt taxes. More than 1/2 of it. So dont for a moment think that your law officials stay awake at night, worrying about drunk drivers and the woes it causes the population. Your govt is the single biggest beneficiary of the alcohol trade, in this country.
And obviously enough thats one of the insidious effects of consuming ethanol. It impairs a persons judgement. They do things they wouldnt normally do sober. Including drive impaired. So its nowhere near as simple as the ignorant stance most people seem to buy into.
Nother interesting obs on this:
Why did the 18th amend get overturned ? ans: Cause the US supreme court found it to be Unconstitutional to deny people alcohol. Which between alcohol and tobac, an est 500k a yr americans are killed by.
How is it legal to make marijuana illegal. If its illegal to deny people the right to consume alcohol. Then its also unconstitutional, to make it illegal to smoke a joint. Which has a grand total of ZERO, recorded deaths in history.
I could write a fecking massive bk citing fact and relevant historical fact about the full implications of that. Its on the 2 do list, but shrugs.
The punishment/deterrents america has allowed to be adopted. Obviously arent working in regards DDing. Just as prohibiting all the outright illegal substances, are only serving to make the situation worse.
U want to perform a citizens arrest ? Well go to wherever your local high govt officials congregate and take their azzes into custody, lol. Just saying there's alot bigger picture here, than most people will ever bother, or be capable of seeing.
Random curiousity. How many of U peeps, actually still believe anything like the offical version of what happened on Sept 11th ? No doubt enough of U to give me a sick feeling in my stomach, lol.
And more of the obvious, OP what was your motivation for posting this anyway ? Looking for some ahhhhh what a sensitive / conscientious guy pts ?
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