| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/20/2009 6:42:13 PM | I have been on the site for a little while, not long. I've changed my profile a lot. I haven't had much success. I don't have any specific questions really. But, if anyone could be kind enough to read my profile and give me an opinion, whatever it may be, I would appreciate it greatly.
I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get some better pictures. My webcam is terrible, but my brother has a digital camera, so I guess that's my first step. | |
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| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/20/2009 8:36:34 PM | I'm sorry to be blunt, but are you deliberately aiming for failure?
Your heading says "you will not survive"? That's attractive...
You then state that you like people who are ok with being an a$$hole... planting the thought that you too are one. (I'm no woman, but I would hazard a guess that this place is well-stocked with those already.) You further reinforce that idea with the statement that cruel, insensitive humor (at whose expense- your date's?) is an aphrodisiac. (really?!) You've just told everyone that you get sexually excited by the misfortune or demeaning of others. Again, fairly narrow field of women who would find that endearing I would think.
You seem wishy-washy and desperate. (I like the extraordinary and the ordinary), "I love people, all people, no exceptions. If you're a person than (typo- one that you made twice in the text) I LOVE you." (might as well say "I'll likely fall in love with anyone who e-mails me and you'll have to block me to get rid of me")
I would avoid abrasive statements/behavior (ie: if you're not a person get the **** out) as they serve no purpose except to show that you excel at being obnoxious. You hate your major, would like to be a writer but are all over the place in writing your profile.
I would re-write it in it's entirety but first think about who you are & what you want.
Discuss the things you enjoy doing and what makes you unique. Perhaps some of the books that you really liked or charcters you related to (careful here- see above). Take a few minutes to organize your thoughts and try again.
Sorry if I was too brutal but it's pretty bad in its current state. Good luck with the re-write.
PS: I'd lose the "e-mail me if you're cute" thing... women are predisposed to think you are superficial and shallow- no point in reinforcing that idea. | |
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| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/20/2009 8:57:19 PM | Please don't apologize, I respect your honesty. In fact, the advice I've gotten in the past has completely lacked insight.
To be honest with you, I made this profile purposely to be obnoxious, thinking that it would at least grab people's attention. But I suppose if I appear desperate from the beginning than it's a complete failure.
For some reason, writing a profile is an extremely daunting task for me. I can't seem to write about myself without completely losing any tact that I might actually have. Admittedly, I'm not a very tactful person. In fact I am an overtly offensive person in many ways.
I constantly forget the repressed views people have in accordance to 'love' which is actually really depressing. I can't say the word 'love' to a man without him feeling at least slightly sexually uncomfortable, or to a woman without them thinking that I intend to marry them or some bullshit. I am a very loving person. I certainly don't think that is a bad trait to have.
Anyway, once again, thank you for help, I'm sorry for the long ridiculous response. | |
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| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/21/2009 8:43:13 PM | Continue your quest for a flattering picture.
I agree with the previous reviewer that your headline "you will not survive" is a downer. Try something a bit more inviting.
Consider moving paragraphs 3 and 4 toward the bottom of your profile. They are rather negative/complaining. Better to lead with the descriptions of the things you love and are passionate about. In fact, I'd get rid of #3 totally - you have "student" as your profession, that's perfectly fine for your age. | |
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| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/22/2009 5:19:58 PM |
I mean I can't change the fact that I'm not a particularly handsome person anyway.
Keep stating that and you'll keep believing that. Confidence can make ANYONE sexier and more attractive.
Better pictures will help simply because they present you in the best possible light.
You need to kill the FB link, and I'd recommend developing a more active social life to meet people to enjoy. College: it's what's for dinner! | |
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| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/22/2009 5:49:07 PM | | I actually have a very active social life. The woman I meet at OU are not very exciting people though, most of them are Christian, and it's just nature that a religious person would have no interest in dating a person like myself. I appreciate the advice though. | |
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| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/22/2009 5:59:34 PM | Are you seriously sitting on the toilet in the bathroom in your main photo!?!?
Oh man......
**EDIT** : changed during my post, thank you.
You can write well when you want to. Suck it up and tell your viewer what you want in a woman (not what you DON'T want, by the way) so she'll know. If you are into the punk/metal stuff, you may want to have your photo gallery address that in at least one picture. Poster of your fave band? Album cover? Something to give the girl a clue.
The whole paragraph on going off the grid is likely deterring many girls. It just sounds very, well, Unibomber or something. (That may be before your time...) If that is not a definite plan, why not leave that for later conversation once you get to know her a bit better?
Use your writing skills to fine tune a profile that will appeal to the type of girl you are looking for. Good luck! | |
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| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/22/2009 6:16:39 PM | | HAHAHAH! No I was not sitting on the toilet in that picture, though I can see how one could make assumption. That's hilarious actually, I wish I could say I was. Anyway yes I am familiar with Theodore Kaczynski, and I really don't appreciate being compared to him, but I understand why you made that allusion. I guess that's something I'd rather not share with the entire internet community anyway, thanks for the advice. | |
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| Could someone review my profile and possibly lend some advice?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:50:23 PM | I like to profile much better- excellent job with the revisions! Much better organized, nice development, come off as approachable but not desperate and well-enough written that the writing career seems plausable.
Good luck! | |
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