| Commonly repeated feedback.[CLOSED Thread]
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:30:10 AM | In an attempt to give an additional resource for profile writing, I'm offering up the suggestions I've gleaned from a few months worth of profile reviews.
Before submitting your profile for review, this simple checklist can help ensure that you've avoided the most common pitfalls.
General
Avoid negativity at ALL costs. Nobody is seeking a lying, manipulating, drama-creating partner (I think), and anything you list in your profile that talks about your bad experiences will just drive people away. So avoid complaining in everything you write.
Getting views
Headline, primary picture thumbnail, and the first 200 characters of your profile are what show up during most searches. You want to focus your time and energy in ensuring that all three of those items are the absolute best you can make them.
Headline
Your headline serves a few purposes, chief of which is to stand out from the crowd and convince your prospective viewer that your profile is worth clicking on. Avoid trite and overused things like "Looking 4 a good guy/girl", "nice guy within", et cetera. This is an excellent place to inject some humor if you can swing it. Put a good hook here, and you'll get the clicks.
Photos
Your primary picture, as mentioned above, is often the only chance you'll have to attract someone's attention on this site. A well-lit, closely-cropped image with a big toothy grin tends to do well here and is highly recommended.
For the rest of your photos, avoid posing with members of the opposite gender, even if they're friends/family/other. Men and women both react to seeing that - and it's usually not in a positive fashion. Have a friend take some photos of you enjoying your favorite activities. Outdoor photos are great, and don't be afraid to pay to have a professional take your photos. Quality trumps quantity every time.
Be sure to include one shot where your entire body can be seen. This is important for both genders. The body type drop downs are limited (just the way it is) and often inaccurate. There are plenty of people out there that enjoy ALL body types, so show what you have to work with and be confident/comfortable in your own skin. I know that from the male standpoint, we tend to think "worst-case scenario" when there's nothing shown, so don't take that risk.
Interests
The numbers most often thrown around are 10-15 interests, being certain that they are all separated by commas and linkable (don't put "activities in and around the water" when "water activities" or "the beach" both are linkable and have more hits). Males, think about which of your interests women may like. Ladies, think about which of your interests males would like. Be sure to use either lower case, or leading capital letters. Avoid using ALL CAPS as it is harder to read, and please check your spelling. There's nothing worse than finding out that so many interests which are misspelled are actually linkable: meaning that others have equally poor spelling.
About you
In addition to the existing tips ( http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1262627.aspx ), the most often repeated advise is to inject your personality into things. Add humor, talk about one or two of your interests, and add a solid paragraph on what the man/woman of your dreams is like.
You need enough information here to get someone to write you; enough about yourself so that someone viewing can say "hey, I'd like to meet this person".
Separate your paragraphs using additional carriage returns (as done throughout this post) and it becomes easier to read. When you think you're done, copy and paste your text into MS Word, or another program with spell check. Have someone look over things for grammar, and avoid using text speak/abbreviations.
First Date
Think this through well. Don't say "Let's go to the movies so we can get to know each other" as there's nothing worse than sitting through 2 hours of silence, in the dark, with a total stranger. You will be completely unable to talk to each other, and won't know each other any better.
There's nothing wrong with movies on the first date, but don't contradict yourself by saying you want to get to know them.
Don't put "open for anything", "I'll let you pick", or "whatever we decide". Be original, or at least be honest. Talk about things you'd like to do, and you'll find you have a much better idea of what to go on.
Happy Fishing!
--Pratch | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:39:43 AM | PERFECT! Indeed well written and much needed advice to anyone wishing to compose a wonderful profile!!
Well done!  | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:21:36 AM | Oh great, Pratch - now all my profile reviews are going to be "go read what Bucsgirl (green thread at top of main page) and Pratch have to say". Are you trying to take my job away from me? ;-)
Seriously, well done! A very good and useful summary of the basics. | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:31:21 AM | We all tend to repeat the same things, no?
I know I typically give my "main pic" and "full body" cheers a few dozen times a day and parrot the 10-15 interests, etc just as often.
Just figured that this and bucsgirl's posts, if read in combination, would make reviewing more about minutae and less about "RTFM" as it were ;)
How many times a day do we see/say the same things over and over? Just figured another "go here and read" post would help make life a little easier. | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/21/2009 7:13:04 PM | Certainly makes sense to repeat once what is so often repeated in most requests for profile reviews!
However, it's off topic since it is not a request for a profile review.
How does driving away others work who offer similar input for photos, for the same reasons( more expedient in one thread) by slamming and then ensuring their thread is deleted when this thread remains despite it's technical foul? Personal bias, a mutual admiration society of reviewers? I see and help with the same photo mistakes over and over, same deal, different aspect of a profile!  | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/21/2009 8:47:35 PM | I think you should cut-and-paste this as a post into the Profile Writing Tips in green lettering before you get deleted.
xoxo | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/21/2009 8:57:40 PM | | that thread is quite locked, so it's not possible. Am hoping that this may yet survive long enough to become green and stand on its own merits. | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:07:44 PM | ^^^^
Write to a mod and ask them to unlock the thread for you to post into. They are usually quite helpful. If you want more details, feel free to message me.
PS - it won't "turn green" on it's own. | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/22/2009 2:43:20 PM | Yeah, can I get some assistance in that regard? Seems my old account is already dead - wasn't planning on transitioning quite yet, but c'est la vie. I violated the TOS (though I was honestly just trying to be prepared) and knew better :P
--Pratch | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/22/2009 4:23:25 PM | Ringgg…..Rinngggg….
Hi, Tom’s not here right now, please leave a message at the tone.....
Beeeeeep…. Hi Tom…. Ummm….I miss your phone answering machine (sniffle sniffle).
Nice new profile/photos and thanks for posting the tips. They are all good and will be handy to privately EMAIL to people! We can gang up on em now!
I like the new name, and you’ll know in due time if it’s too esoteric….or not?? She might think you build dikes. LOL! Your face in the last photo (the one with the light background) is the best IMHO. It’s not as close up as your current primary, but the contrast of foreground and background is much better and you stand out more. Happy reincarnation! :DenverSky5280  | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/23/2009 7:47:06 AM | | Italio did a thread like this awhile back, I believe foxinsox did one too, Optical noise and chicklitsmile did there own too. One of these threads seem to pop every 4 or 5 months. Good info, but I am afraid as long as people continue to act like people, most will not know it exists. Even if it was in bright blinking neon lights and said free beer. People just usually do not read. | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:05:10 AM | Yes, Lion, many people don’t read, and if they do, they often don’t see that it applies to them.
I’ve found that sending PERSONAL emails containing info like Tom’s does work. If a poster’s preferences permit it, I often send my own version of the “Basics” to them. Many do read it, apply it, and send me a thank you…..often with a note that they are finally getting replies AND dates.
Yes, they have to help themselves….but a helping hand goes a long way. So thanks again, Tom….now I have 2 versions of Basics to send folks. DenverSky5280 | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:24:45 AM | Don't do the ' I like to go out and like to stay in ' everyone has a version of this. Standing out is a good way to garner interest.
Be creative!
Keep things simple! Try to avoid writing a 'novel' Leave something to talk about and give a reason for them to write back.
Be original!
Spend 15 minutes looking at other peoples pages. It can do wonders, you will find that most say pretty much the exact samethings and usually it is blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Spend another 15 minutes thinking about who you are emailing.
Try to avoid sending 200 emails and getting 1 reply and then WONDERING WHY? If that is the case ---- you are spent.
Their is a favorites option. USE IT. Do a search, be as decriptive as possible, list everything you are looking for. Do search. add all of these people as your favorite. Start emailing them ---- no more then 1-2 a day. give at least 48 hours before moving on. Go down the list. To many guys run around like horny little dawgs trying to dry hump every leg possible and then wonder why they are getting shooed away.
1. you are sending bad emails
2. you are emailing people who are not a match for you
3. you have a really bad page
4. you have bad pictures
5. this list could go on and on
It is a common pitfall to start emailing every pretty picture in a 100 mile radius, regardless of whether you are a match or not. Just send out 50 emails and hope somone writes back is not a winning strategy. More chances then not, if you take your time, find people who are a good match and send a well thought out email, you will hit a winner and more importantly---------> a date!
When you are in a social setting do you run around trying to talk to every single women? Just because you can ---- does not mean you should.
Ever consider what would happen if all 50 women you emailed today---- emailed you back? talk about busy.  If that is the case you are sending out 49 emails you think will get no response and 1 that 'might' ---- do not send out pre-deleted emails. If you have come to that stage-- you need to delete your account and go away for a month or two.
Dont say in 1 sentence you are a confident person and then in the next explain how shy you are.
TAKE YOUR TIME! Patience, patience. | |
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| Commonly repeated feedback.
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:35:45 AM | Thanks LION! Now I've got 3 versions of Basics to send!
Since you guys showed me yours, I guess I'll have to show you mine....enjoy!
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Hi…here are some tips and tricks. A few of these you are doing…most of these you are not…
PHOTO-OP SECRETS:
1) Primary photo needs to be CLOSE UP of your SMILING FACE.
2) JUST YOU in the primary photo. NO sunglasses or hats.
3) Other photos: have 5 to 8 total in all kinds of garb from casual to dressy.
4) You need at least 1 or 2 full BODY shots.
5) ALL photos must be recent…i.e. in the last YEAR.
6) NO other people in the photo except you. Your same-sex friends are your competition.
7) No pics of you drinking alcohol! He/She will wonder if you have a drinking problem.
NAME/HEADLINE SECRETS:
1)You need an INTERESTING name. Example: jbl380 is lame…and forgettable. True_Gold_in_ CA is memorable. Wish_You_Were_Here is memorable. RSVP_to_Me is memorable. Blintz_Charming is memorable.
2) You need an INTERESTING headline. Avoid cookie-cutter and obvious.
Example of Boring ones= Looking for a nice woman/ Hi there/ Nice, romantic, kind.
Example of Good Ones = What are Your Next 2 Wishes??/ You Win! You Win!
PROFILE SECRETS:
1) Before you write…READ!
2) READ at LEAST 3 or more profiles of Forum people who are giving helpful hints. These people usually have good profiles.
3) IMITATE their profiles.
4) YOU NEED an UPBEAT opening line. NO whining that you’re new, uncomfy, yada yada.
5) Nix the GENERALITIES. Use SPECIFICS. For example…
6) Do NOT say: I like sunsets and beaches and travelling and good conversation. Do NOT say things like I’m a good cook or I’m smart and I’m nice. These are BORING and everyone says stuff like that. USE SPECIFICS to SHOW you ARE these things…see #7 for SPECIFIC examples.
7) DO SAY: I just got back from the Grand Canyon. Wow! It’s even better than the photos. My next vacation is going to be warm weather and crystal blue water. Want to compare notes on the best beaches in our part of the world?
DO SAY: If you don’t know how to cook, I can. My favorite in cold weather is Homemade Chicken Veggie soup. My favorite in any kind of weather is homemade Nestle’s Chocolate Chip Cookies.
DO SAY: I’m smart and nice….I’ll never forget your birthday, and I’m smart enough to know that I should always spend more on your birthday present than mine.
8) No NEGATIVES. No WHINING about anything…that means no whining about baggage and rude people and how in your work place you can’t meet people.
9) Take the NOTS and NO’s out of your profile. Be POSITIVE, POSITIVE, POSITIVE. POSITIVE is ALWAYS ATTRACTIVE.
10) LIGHT humor (not sarcasm) always works! If in doubt…LEAVE it OUT. Ask someone if it’s funny if you’re not sure if it works. Men especially make the mistake of being too sarcastic or rude. Women have different sensibilities than men (of course you know that, but a little reminder doesn’t hurt).
11) 1st DATE: Don’t cop out by saying coffee or a glass of wine. DESCRIBE the setting and add a bit more than coffee/wine. There’s LOTS of competition out there, and in the 1st date section you need to WOO that special someone. GIVE SPECIFIC and FUN suggestions….Searching for the Loch Ness Monster, having coffee at Dana Point Pier and listening to ocean and watching the seals, eating at the great hole-in-the-wall Thai place on 8th and Welton, taking a train ride through the city or up the coast, going to the new Modern Art Museum, taking a walk in the Botanic Gardens, taking an architectural tour of the city, going to the Farmer’s Market, going to the Flea Market, going to the Home and Garden show, taking a boat ride on the Chicago River, having coffee and the best apple Danish at Pete’s Place and going to the quaint used bookstore on Parker Road.
Hope some of these help. Best to you! DenverSky5280
p.s. I’ll post some more SPECIFIC tips for you on your forum… | |
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