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Posted: 9/24/2009 12:47:36 AM | Well im just looking for any general feedback if anyone is willing to take the time :)
I've had people check out my account but no one ever messages me...whats missing
Pictures...are they that horrible? :(
Any suggestions?
any....thing???
Thanks,
Mike | |
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Posted: 9/24/2009 12:57:51 AM | It's boring to me, maybe because I'm a guy
But I'm facing the same problem. Only 3 girls contacted me first.
My suggestions get a full body pic, and take off the picture with those hotties. Girls here might get intimidated | |
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Posted: 9/24/2009 1:14:04 AM | Hey,
Sounds pretty good for the most part, but I could tell that you were slightly indecisive from the beginning. It's great that you're up for most things, but the other person isn't going to want to make all the decisions either(unless that's what you're looking for).
I would fill in the interests box, it does help when looking at a profile.
As for your photos, maybe turn the light on when you're taking the photo...there are a couple of dark ones there.
I think that was about it, minus a couple of spelling mistakes here and there, it looks good. But hey, I'm no expert! Good luck! | |
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Posted: 9/24/2009 1:12:48 PM | Your pictures are fine, maybe some better quality ones of just you.
But your about me should definitely have something about the kind of girl you're looking for. Girls always want to know what the guy is trying to expect. | |
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Posted: 9/24/2009 1:15:29 PM | | Yep, your pics are horrible. Your main pic should be a headshot of you smiling that is clear, and has good lighting. | |
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Posted: 9/24/2009 1:19:37 PM | Everyone else has told you the pictures are too dark, or inappropriate, and I agree.
Don't wait for ladies to email you, reach out to the ones your search results say are nearby. And all the talk about being indecisive is a bit much. Say you're flexible, say you have a wide range of interests, these things are probably true, right? When you look at women's profiles you'll probably notice that they usually post well-lit, flattering pictures of themselves. This is the "first impression" we get of people on internet dating sites. If you dont' make any effort to do this, many ladies won't check out the details of your profile. Good luck! | |
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Posted: 10/14/2009 12:25:25 AM | don't play games man..
Seriously show yourself how you look like normally. I loathe when people stylize their personal pics with borders and crap or take otherwise HORRIBLE shots and say their good.
This isn't myspace...yet | |
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Posted: 10/14/2009 1:20:02 AM | Yeah, I'm no expert but I'd definately say you need some picture that are a little more clear and bright. I'd lose the one with the girls cuz it's just plain weird that you're standing behind them in the distance.
"BTW; this is only one side of my personallity." ...You're schizophrenic? Not good.
"I'm fairly easy going and as such seem to have inherited a sense of indecisiveness. So I let other people tell me what I should do,"
Most girls want a guy that is strong and decisive. Even if you're not decisive, I'd lose this line.
"I'll only ever do something if you ask me to / I know you'd want me to "
This one kinda implies that you're lazy and don't do anything of your own accord.
Sorry for tearing you apart here, but I really hope the advice helps. | |
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Posted: 10/14/2009 7:38:25 AM | [My suggestions get a full body pic, and take off the picture with those hotties. Girls here might get intimidated]
Intimidated about what? Why would anyone want to put a photo of themselves surrounded by women ? Want to be players? That's one of the possible conclusion we jump to. Off putting and what are you trying to say about yourself in that photo? | |
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Posted: 10/17/2009 3:05:46 PM | (didn't know we were only allowed on thread, sorry :-))
Anyways new photo's / the profile details is pretty much nailed IMO....
any comments? =) | |
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Posted: 10/22/2009 8:37:29 PM | Hi, Mike - the second photo is actually the best of the lot. It would be better if it were closer and brighter, like an outdoors shot, head/shoulders only, big cheesy smile.
The profile itself reads as a sort of ... I dunno... um... "indecisive"... kinda... well... um.. wishy-washy... push-me-around request. Not attractive. It's way easier to fake confidence on the internet. Even if you're not, by the time you've emailed someone a few times, chatted on MSN or something, had a couple of phone calls and actually meet, you'll be much more comfortable. Guys that are shy and indecisive are too difficult a project for most girls and they won't bother.
Are you messaging the girls you find interesting? Are you boring them to death with the "Hope you like me, I'm begging you to check me out, I reeeally wish you'd email me cuz I'm desperate" stuff? The introductory messages should be light and casual. The subject line should NOT be just Hi, Hello, or Hey. The message should contain somethings specific from her profile you found interesting, an appropriate comment, and a question. That's it.
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These are the lines/phrases that need to either be deleted or reworked:
Like most people I'm really not to sure what to say...Basically I decided to try p.o.f. since I haven't really done anything out side of work, hobbies and friend
pretty much the nicest guy you'll ever know. I'll only ever do something if you ask me to / I know you'd want me to
Often I mimic the personality of the people I’m around perhaps its because I find it the easiest way to relate to people. This is probably the scariest thing I ever read. Where is your personality?
My friends seem to describe me as the good guy that never wins
and as such seem to have inherited a sense of indecisiveness. So I let other people tell me what I should do
Well I've done a little of everything really...sports wise I've played a lot of them, and wouldn't mind playing them all some day.
If you'd like to learn more just message me :)
Interest? same thing as hobbies i guess, as I said above I'm up for anything
but since I’m so easy going chances are you'll get exactly what you want with me!
add me on facebook! :)
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Yes, I realize that's about 50% of your profile, but these really come across as either cliche or off-putting. You nailed it with the 'indecisiveness'. If someone else hasn't already suggested it, please have a read through the Profile Writing Tips in green lettering at the top of this Forum page for additional ideas and suggestions. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 2:36:38 PM |
Hi, Mike - the second photo is actually the best of the lot. It would be better if it were closer and brighter, like an outdoors shot, head/shoulders only, big cheesy smile. The profile itself reads as a sort of ... I dunno... um... "indecisive"... kinda... well... um.. wishy-washy... push-me-around request. Not attractive. It's way easier to fake confidence on the internet. Even if you're not, by the time you've emailed someone a few times, chatted on MSN or something, had a couple of phone calls and actually meet, you'll be much more comfortable. Guys that are shy and indecisive are too difficult a project for most girls and they won't bother. I am extremly psuedo confident. I pretend to be confident in the real life because its easier. I pretend to be me on the internet because its harder. Have you considered that I am asking for a push me around request? Maybe I want some one willing to push me around so I have reason to push back. Are you messaging the girls you find interesting? Are you boring them to death with the "Hope you like me, I'm begging you to check me out, I reeeally wish you'd email me cuz I'm desperate" stuff? The introductory messages should be light and casual. The subject line should NOT be just Hi, Hello, or Hey. The message should contain somethings specific from her profile you found interesting, an appropriate comment, and a question. That's it. Yes, all of them, as long as I can convince myself they'd find me interesting aswell (I dont want to waste their time). No I am not. I tried. It didn't work. So I changed. My subject line is never just Hi, Hello, or Hey...not even any of the above. and my message ALWAYS contains specfics to her profile, with an appropriate comment and usually a question. These are the lines/phrases that need to either be deleted or reworked:
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Yes, I realize that's about 50% of your profile, but these really come across as either cliche or off-putting. You nailed it with the 'indecisiveness'. If someone else hasn't already suggested it, please have a read through the Profile Writing Tips in green lettering at the top of this Forum page for additional ideas and suggestions. Its good that you realise you're asking me to remove 50% of my profile, because you will then find it easier to understand that you're asking to remove 50% of myself. If you are unsure why I have included something in my profile you can first ask me, then tell my why its wrong rather then assuming I'm wrong first. I will not look on the profile writing tips because that would be Cliche and too easy. I enjoy learning independently however. Mainly through trail and error. ygo1st! Hi! First off thanks for your advice, I took some time to contiplate it. At this point I respectfully disagree. (which photo is it that you think is best, its hard to see what order their in, and why do you think that?) | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 5:58:52 PM | Well you're 19, so being open is ok, but the profile could read passive aggressive/facetious, without intention.
You seem to be begging for an aggressive girl, but its unclear if that's what you want.
A lot of the pics look the same, how about a sporty shot, since you mention being athletic?
The title "looking for a cutie to be my sweetie" is assumed already--it's like a girl saying "looking for a hot boyfriend"--the response is yeah, ok we know. The thumbnail/title can grate or make one curious.
"Nice guy that always finishes last"--at 19, I don't think you can say that already, unless you want to set up a lifetime of being a schlemiel.
Put more interests in that field--sax, piano, sports, lunch, pool,etc. --easier to read and search. Specifics on music, food culture,
add soul and flesh you out.
Mimicking others--are you saying you get along with people from all walks of life? It sounds less Sybil/multiple personality disordered.
What are you studying? The whole ask me questions stuff never works--she'll ask questions AFTER she knows you as trustworthy or interesting. She won't ask question to find out if you are.
"Nicest guy you'll ever know"--think you need to let her experience you herself. "Nice" has a connotation of blandness--maybe reword that more specifically--nice how? Generous with time, reliable, etc?
Best of luck. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 6:09:10 PM | | The pic with the women is bad. You look like "that guy" in the background that just happened to be there when some girls were taking pictures of each other during a girls' night out. You don't want to look like "that guy" any more than you want to look like a player. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 6:54:17 PM | Hi again, Mike! I was thinking the second picture, no hat, leather jacket. It's not perfect, but I quite like it. The hat is distracting. So I realize I dumped on you without a valid explanation, so here is the thought process for the other stuff:
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Like most people I'm really not to sure what to say...Basically I decided to try p.o.f. since I haven't really done anything out side of work, hobbies and friend You don't want to start off 'like most people'. You're unique. The second part makes is sound like you're not motivated or energetic. Just a perception thing. Reword?
pretty much the nicest guy you'll ever know. I'll only ever do something if you ask me to / I know you'd want me to "Nicest guy" is up to your (girl/partner) to decide. If you only do something she asks you to, this again sounds like you're not motivated or energetic and are waiting for someone to tell you what to do. Generally, not attractive.
Often I mimic the personality of the people I’m around perhaps its because I find it the easiest way to relate to people. Already told you this scares me, because your viewer will never be sure if you're faking your personality or being yourself. Again, may just be how I'm reading it and a reword may help. I think I know what you're trying to say, but it just feels like you'd concede and give up your own personality to please a girl. Trust me, it's not worth it.
My friends seem to describe me as the good guy that never wins You have awful friends, then! Can't they think of something nice to say about you?? The "never wins" comment, again, not attractive in a partner.
and as such seem to have inherited a sense of indecisiveness. So I let other people tell me what I should do This is starting to feel a little Dom/Sub. Again, it feels like you're waiting for someone else to make the moves, make the decisions, take the responsibility for the relationship. I don't know if this can even be spun into something positive.
Well I've done a little of everything really...sports wise I've played a lot of them, and wouldn't mind playing them all some day. For someone confident, this would be a great place to describe what you've tried, what you liked, and what you'd like to try again.
If you'd like to learn more just message me :) Unnecessary - they know the drill
Interest? same thing as hobbies i guess, as I said above I'm up for anything "I guess" again implies you don't know yourself and will let the girl do all the work. If you really are looking for a bossy demanding girl that will enjoy the control, go for it.
but since I’m so easy going chances are you'll get exactly what you want with me! See above.
add me on facebook! :) Sounds desperate.
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If you are truly looking for an aggressive/assertive/control freak as a partner, you may want to add a line or two about the characteristics you appreciate in a girl so she'll know for sure. But - the majority of girls you'll come across want someone who will be interactive and offer ideas, suggestions and input into a relationship, not let her do all the driving all the time - that gets boring really quick.
I appreciate that you took some time to contemplate my suggestions, but I hope this explains a bit more clearly why I was going that direction. Again, it's your profile, your call. Good luck!  | |
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Posted: 11/9/2009 1:56:50 PM | okay I see what you are getting at. Thanks for taking the time to explain your thoughts. Altho on some of the sections you quoted, you ended the quote to soon.
"My friends often describe me as the good guy that never wins...even tho I kick their ass all the time" (it was mostly intended as a joke)
As for memicing personalities...
It's not that I don't have my own personality. I am modest, humble, sincere, humouress and caring. However my most underline trait I feel is that I can't stand being disliked. Just to clerify, I don't count not liking as dislike, but if someone outright dislike me for whatever reason it'll just doesn't feel right with me. As such I am naturally friendly with everyone, and the best way to get to know someone knew is to relate to them by mimicing (some) aspects of their personality. I don't do it on purpose, its just what I do.
Rereading my profile (before your new post even) I took out the message me / facebook....segment...I have no justification for having it in the first place.
Thanks again for your advice,
Mike | |
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Posted: 11/19/2009 2:02:40 PM | I still stand by removing the chick pic.
Fill in the interests. Almost anything interests me, too. There's several hundred thousand men like us on this web page alone. Get specific. Dig deep down if you have to.
Your first paragraph sounds like a pity party. You do know what to put in the profile - on the profile writing page, there's tips on what to put. There's a thread full of profile writing tips in this forum.
I'll only ever do something if you ask me to / I know you'd want me to and I'm wise beyond my years.
Rewritten: I am a 19 year old doormat.
Instead, expand on how you are the nicest guy in the world. What EXACTLY will you do to prove your statement? What you have is Hollywood material. "As you wish" may still be copyrighted by Princess Bride, lose it just to be safe.
Often I mimic the personality of the people I’m around perhaps its because I find it the easiest way to relate to people.
Rewritten: I have no personality of my own.
Compare yourself to a chameleon instead of a copycat.
like to have fun and try new things.
An example of a fun or new thing you've done recently would be excellent.
I like to have fun and try new things. I'm competitive in a healthy way, and strive in trying to better myself in different ways.
How?
I'm fairly easy going and as such seem to have inherited a sense of indecisiveness. So I let other people tell me what I should do, and if I don't like their answer I ask someone else =D
Rewritten: I'm still a 19 year old doormat. An indoor doormat, no less, because I can't weather the truth.
Hobbies? Well I've done a little of everything really...sports wise I've played a lot of them, and wouldn't mind playing them all some day.
Examples? These are obvious items to place in the Interests section, as well. Put music, saxaphone, and piano in your interests while you are at it.
First date? Anything you want! ;-)
I think it would depend on the person really...dinner and a movie can work only so many times, we can save that for the second date! =D
Be creative. Think of SOMETHING. Just don't tell your audience for the third time you're a doormat.
As it stands, I can see you getting dates with one type of woman: the 21 year old User who lets you take her to dinner Friday night before she goes on a real date. | |
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Posted: 11/19/2009 2:20:08 PM | well, apparently you'll do almost anything - except take good advice.
Good luck, you've made this more difficult than it needs to be. | |
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