| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:38:24 AM | | Although each of us are judged on many characteristics in our dating life, it is well known that all other things being equal, women are judged primarily on their beauty and men are judged by their value as a provider. For you personally as a woman, how much money does a man need to make to keep you romantically interested in him? | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:14:17 AM | Thank you for your response. However, actually my question wasn't meant to pass judgement as far as being "gold digging hussies", as you mentioned. But more to get a pulse on what most women's expectations are for men income wise with regard to the times we are in today.
Due to the economy, many men and women are struggling financially. The challenging thing for us guys is that we are expected to be the main bread winner and many of us aren't doing so well right now in the dating world because of it. So, I'm genuinely curious about women's expectations and thoughts on the subject.
And, thank you again for your creative response. It caused me to smile and laugh a bit. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:16:27 AM | to all the men of the universe: i don't need your money and i'm damn sure not going to let you tell me what to do.
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p.s. in these difficult economic times, what are men's expectations vis a vis the physical appearance of the ladies they date?
i mean, if you can't buy me an expensive dinner, will you at least meet me half way by embracing the fact that i am not a "10", but merely a "5"?? | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:21:38 AM | The man needs enough to take care of himself, his children, his own debts and expenses, any spousal support he has been ordered to pay and have something to treat me with once in a while if we happen to stay together (when I say treat me, I am not referring to big ticket items such as cars, diamonds, etc.), more like along the line of nights out . because I will also treat.
I don't want someone I will have to support , pay off his debts, or house him. At this age, he should have his act together and if it's due to a run of bad luck and not laziness, that's a different story....I will support him (emotionally) as much as I can to get him back on his feet again , but again, will not pay off his debts of support him. Anyone can turn it around and just like nobody would ever support me without thinking I'm a gold digger, I wouldn't financially support someone else either. I can and do take care of myself and the minimum expectation I have is that any man I'm with will not have to depend on me to pay for a simple thing as a movie. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:22:16 AM |
However, actually my question wasn't meant to pass judgement as far as being "gold digging hussies", as you mentioned. The issue is that you worded it in such a way as to have a preconceived expectation… hence my response. Whether deliberately, or subconsciously, you have the belief that there is a minimum requirement regarding a man’s income where relationships are concerned… this simply isn’t true in modern society.
There is no dollar value for many of us women that we look for, what we do look for is sound financial stability, the flexibility to maintain his lifestyle without taxing ours and an all around good sense of today and the future.
For me, a man could earn $250k a year and still not be dating material for me if he is in hock up the whazoo (very technical term btw) or doesn’t know how to manage his money.
So the answer is dynamic and impossible to narrow to a single number… far too many factors come into play…
And, thank you again for your creative response. It caused me to smile and laugh a bit.  | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:30:48 AM | While this is too vague a question, and is therefore engendering a lot of hostile replies, it is a more valid question than the women who have replied so far have recognized.
If you read as many womens' profiles as men do, you WILL find both direct and indirect mentions of expected income levels. Men who don't have the big bucks, and men who do, but don't want to be loved just for the money, rapidly become sensitive to any women who mention income concerns.
From my observations, there are various reasons women mention money.
-some ARE gold diggers, of one level or another. These include the women who don't think if themselves as being after money, because they are living in the old concept that the man is SUPPOSED to pay for everything.
-some have been burned by leaching guys, who wanted to live off them, and so mention income to try to fend off more of the same.
-many seem to have an only semi-consciously recognized prejudice that only guys of equal or larger income are worthy of respect or trust. I've known women who were embarrassed to be seen with a guy who didn't own as expensive clothes as they did, and dumped them without regard to any other positive values the guy had.
Anyway, this all makes the concern about money a valid topic to discuss. Personally, I have no problem with anyone setting any parameters they want, so long as they don't pretend that their standards make them superior.
This is also a topic that should be discussed in terms of what women might want to consider saying in their profiles, to make it clear WHICH kind of concern they have about money, for their own sakes, so they are not driving men away that they actually want. I know, for example, that I wont even consider trying to contact a woman who talks about traveling the world being extremely important to them. I'd love to travel too, but it's VERY costly. To me, a great love of travel means they want a guy making over six figures, and that aint me, sadly. | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 14 | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:44:38 AM |
men are judged by their value as a provider.
I don't judge a man by his ability to provide. None of my single girl friends aren't too concerned with a man's income either. As long as he can take care of his own bills and not need my money then there's no problem.
Perhaps OP you should better screen the women you are dating if you are really concerned about them needing your money. Maybe you are missing the warning signs that I'm sure these women display. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:52:50 AM | This has started an interesting conversation!
I agree that your question begs for a magic number, which can be problematic since money doesn't spend as far in some locations as it does in others.
However, while I don't agree that women (meaning me) are looking for men to financially provide, I am looking for provision of comfort and a lack of provision of worry. Give me a hug and be financially sound and life will be wonderful! | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:52:54 AM | I'm going with Lintspotter, Motowncowgirl AND Tweety pi...
Your question is misleading and vague OP. BUT...
1) you need to make enough so you're not sponging off of ME
2) you need to make enough to support whatever lifestyle YOU'RE leading, not one you think I want to lead
3) you need to make enough so that if I just want to get a dinner at McDonald's you're not whining-conversely if you think we should have McExpensive ass restaurant instead, YOU pay if you're inviting me out.
4) Lastly--I don't really give a fluck about how much you have if you're an ahole. If you're whiny, spoiled, cheap, ignorant, racist, patronizing, insulting, demeaning, alcoholic, druggie, abusive, have horrible hygiene, are completely amoral, have absolutely no ambition or goals, an ex-felon...and I could go on...you don't have nearly enough money for me to even LOOK at you. You won't ever.
I don't like it when men try to quantify something so nebulous, and something that isn't that important to a REAL woman. If it's not money, there's some schlub saying "I know I don't look like Brad Pitt but I ain't THAT ugly!" Well no, you don't look like him and YEAH you might BE that ugly--but trying to compare yourself to someone most women don't give a crap about is stupid.
If you're a broke ass man, having the internet would be the last thing I'd expect you to worry about. I knew a guy like that and yes, I did not ever go out with him. Why? Because if he's sitting his lazy ass at home, playing online/watching porn/whatever, instead of trying to do something (get a better job???) then he has no ambition.
You know who has a lot of money that I'd NEVER let near me? Let me give you a list...Howard Stern. Man is ugly as a mofo with a wig...HELL NO. Hugh Hefner...do I really need to explain that??? Mike Tyson...um....again...self-explanatory. Michael Vick--cruelty to animals can turn into cruelty to people. And he's a dumbass to boot.
Stop focusing on MONEY. Before one of you men start complaining that women don't date broke men--don't start. I am sure that MOST women on POF have, at some point in their lives, been with some guy who didn't have a lot. But they enjoyed them because of who they are, not what they had in a money clip.
J Lo got it right--"My love don't cost a thang."
EDIT for the guy below me:
I make close to 6 digits but live a low profile life and don’t stand a chance.
OH GIVE ME A BREAK AND CRY ME A RIVER ALREADY! If you whine like that all of the time you're RIGHT, no one will be bothered. Stop with the "I don't stand a chance and I have money" boohooing. Grow a set and go after the women you're interested in. Can't dress? Get some help. Don't have good social skills? Get some help. Gawd...do NOT turn this into a whining pissing contest. "I make a million dollars a year and still can't get a chick..wahhhhhh" "Oh yeah? I make 2 million and have never been kissed...waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Stop already. If you aren't getting any action it's something YOU'RE doing and has nothing to do with your finances. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:01:21 AM | | Not sure if money matters as much as prestige for women. I make close to 6 digits but live a low profile life and don’t stand a chance. Men who have a financed BMW will have more success than another man with similar income driving a Ford. Cops will attract solely because of their uniform and status despite they don’t make that much money. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:02:23 AM |
p.s. in these difficult economic times, what are men's expectations vis a vis the physical appearance of the ladies they date?
i mean, if you can't buy me an expensive dinner, will you at least meet me half way by embracing the fact that i am not a "10", but merely a "5"??
 Classic. No takers I guess on this one? | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:29:07 AM | Bottom line, for me.....
...I don't care what his income, if I'm not interested in him, he could have
everything in the world and it's STILL not gonna make a difference to me if I'm
not interested.
I'm interested in the person.......all else can be worked around.
His income doesn't make a difference, however, the person that he is does. See? | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:36:08 AM | Personally, I never relied on a man for the money. God blessed me with a man that is an excellent provider and the two of us did pretty well together.
As a rule I would like the man to at least make enough to be able to pay for what he splurges on his hobbies ( if he likes to splurge) and share some of the household expenses. I also would like that he makes enough to afford shared expenses for a yearly vacation. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:38:02 AM |
For you personally as a woman, how much money does a man need to make to keep you romantically interested in him?
Silly silly op. Where did you ever get the idea that money keeps a woman interested. If a womans only interest is looking for a man with money, these types of men are pretty easy to find.
What i am really looking for is a man with big muscles and a huge penis, who has the ability to go all night. These types of men are alot rearer, and much more challenging. | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:38:54 AM | How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
#1 - I have Never had any idea how much money Any man I've dated or had a relationship with made. .. although .. I have had more than one date question me on my income!!
#2 - If he is Too Cheap to pop for that First coffee = he's too cheap. I haven't got much - but I am a generous sort and would want the same in a mate.
#3 - I would NOT date Donald Trump = no way. He's a pompous, arrogant jerk with bad hair (and no - hair doesn't matter .. but I thought it sounded good there hehe)
#4 - a BMW??? a gas guzzling, polluting status symbol? I'd much rather an economical beater that 'we' can take on the back roads and not worry about a fancy paint job
When guys who Claim to have money use it in an attempt to impress a woman - ie: spend spend spend on that date only to find that their efforts have been for naught - it is their own dam fault for thinking that women (in general) can be bought. I am NOT some sleazy hooker in a house dress that's after YOUR money! AND I resent the implication of your OPost.
Your lack of success in the dating / relationship world is 100% due to your negative and uninformed attitudes and opinions about women.
IF I wanted ANY of your mOnEy .. I would solicite you to take part in classes on Women and how to treat them. and yes .. you do have to pay twice if you don't get it the first time.
bummer that coin can't buy a personality eh .. 
... edit.. to include: And what Dreamcatcher said!! .. cept .. my notion of Huge might not be "that big" .. hehe .. cough .. :smile: | |
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| How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:40:00 AM | OP, after reading your second post, I checked out your profile - I think I get you...
There are women out there that will expect you to drive a fancy car. They will expect expensive gifts. They will, as you stated, expect you to be the breadwinner.
There are women out there who will bristle at the mere mention of money - I have my own I don't need yours! There are women who will be offended if you offer to pay for their dinner - I can do it myself!
And there are women out there who are every shade in between the two.
I'll answer for me - I couldn't give a crap less how much money a guy has - and not because I'm doing so well myself either. It isn't about money. It's about the person, the connection, and how you feel when you are together. My perspective - from my experience - is that you will be miserable with the wrong person in a mansion, and happy with the right person living in financial straits.
If you've got some sort of income, whether it be a job, or whatever, and/or the drive to find work if you are laid off - I'm good with that. | |
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