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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?      Home login  
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 sues4964
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 1
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I met this guy & we got involved pretty quick. We seemed to really click. anyway it was about 6 weeks into this, he had planned a vacation to his home town before we even met. We had exchanged keys a week before he left. he gave me his first. of course he lives w/his 2 sisters & I live alone. He came over Sun night & was leaving on tues. so this would be last time I would see him for about 2weeks. He usually stayed over until 4-6am when he came over. We were having sleeping issues. neither of us slept @ our sleepovers. I was working on it but it was all good. Sunday night he came over abt 7pm
& @ 10pm, said he's going home. I was like what. Not spending night w/me & I am not going see u. I felt rejected & was disappointed. he should have said something earlier. not wanting him to leave on bad note. I txt him later that night telling him call me when awake I didnt want him to leave like that. next day txt him again to call on has drive out to OK. I also left phone message. no response. now it's friday & i havent heard from him since he left sunday night. So I thinking he blew me off. so i sent txt to mail back my key. that he responds to . wondering why I upset. He just had his phone off for the last few days, yes, i know i am an idiot. anyway after a few emails & phone call I thought we were back on track kind of. talk to him next day. sent him mushy email once. now another 5-6 days go by & no communication. Is it expecting to much to send an email or phone call to your "girlfriend" when ur visiting family in your home town. especially if u were in a newer relationship. If he wasn't gonna call or email me for the entire 2 weeks, why didn't he say that. he would tell me i really care about u & want to be in relationship. right?! why do they just string u along??
 wild1-1
Joined: 9/5/2009
Msg: 2
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 3:32:54 AM
At 45, you sound like some lovesick teenager LOL

You are stuck with a poor communicator, might as well wait for him then you can tell him whats on your mind about all this. Don't fill your little head with all the horrible thoughts and upset yourself for the rest of the week.
 Fartz
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 3
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 3:38:44 AM
It's not their fault you see, I have this mind controlling device and I make every man on the planet do this kind of stuff on a regular basis. That way it leaves more women for me.
 cifuareal1
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 4
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 5:39:25 AM
Sues,

Why do women give so much of our power away to a man in a relationship? Take control of your life back. Take your power back.

I don't buy the line about his phone being off. That was a major hint to you to STOP chasing him. Stop calling, texting, chasing. Give him some space and let him come to you. Needy and clingy partners scare the other person away.

Get another interest or two in your life besides this man. Develop yourself.

You are placing too much emphasis on this new relationship. Its too much too soon and you are too needy. You're going to chase him away if you don't cool it.

Good luck.
 gentle man lookin
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 5
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 5:50:37 AM
He sounds pretty guttless to me. There is nothing to ending relationships by non-comunication. The realt task is being honest nomatter what. Causes mixed feelings of wondering why. Sounds like you got a big heart and want to use it in the right way. Dont give up on yourself. Theres all kind of single people. You just have to weed out the vegies before they ripen. :
 NotSoCleverUserName
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 6
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 6:01:17 AM
Sometimes it's just a matter of space, and some people simply can't communicate what they're feeling clearly enough to allow the other person to have a sense of understanding, so they just go about their lives the way they would without you to show what it is they need. As much as you want respect from him, and I know you are eager to gain is attention, do a little reverse psychology and go about your life as you would without him too. Perhaps the amount of attention you want to give to him is a bit too much for him to handle all at once right now. All relatively new relationships come with a little uncertainty, you just have to work through it and be patient.
 green.apple
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 7
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 6:54:29 AM
It's called TSP - Tactical Securing of P*ssy. ( Until a better one comes along)
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 8
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 6:59:32 AM
first stop act desperate...you are a grown woman...yes you have just dated for two years...do not put all your eggs in one basket...take it slow...he was living with his siters...run the other way...do you want to be his second mom...men are not going to say honey you are boring me...if they are getting some fun...of coure you both were reading the bible...seriously...you know when they are not interested...make them work at it...reason why i am saying..i have been on this site since May/09...i have only dated five men...one mr. i love myself...mr.pervert...mr. ai all that...mr.i am confused and mr. cheapo...i meet them on this site...then talk on the site...if interested...chat...then talk on the phone...go out lucky if we meet before three weeks...i repect myself and love myself...i have high expectetations...i feel you are too nice and understanding...this in not the mother theresa day camp...have standards and stick ot it...what you have...expect from them...how many sisters do you live with? take care
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 9
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:00:20 AM
cifuareal...we both think alike...she needs to do her own thing and have standards...she is toooo niceeeee
 *~Rosie~*
Joined: 5/21/2009
Msg: 10
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:07:41 AM
Why did you exchange keys? After 6 weeks?
 Walygatr
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 11
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:12:34 AM
He's expecting everything to be ok when he gets back, he's got you in an emotional frenzy while he's gone. If you wouldn't have contacted him once he would probably would be the one wondering right now.
 MiDnitez
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 12
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+
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:02:17 AM
You are too, might want to try and type like one.

And to OP, texting is a terrible way to convey your emotions to him. Texting should be limited to flirting, confirming dates, locating positions - not pouring your heart out to him.

It's hard for me to say what kind of person he is, but *I* check my phone at the very least, once a day - even if the battery died..I can recharge it once I get home. If he's not getting back to you, that means you aren't top priority on his mind. Take that however you want.
 Shamefullpride
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 13
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Posted: 9/26/2009 11:17:14 AM
Nobody is making you do anything. You are holding on out of choice. You can let go and end it all on your own. Even if things where perfect, you could end it all on your own by simply letting go!
 chasanna
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 14
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:20:29 AM
CAUSE MEN ARE COWARDS AND DON"T LIKE CONFRONTATION...Man up and do what u gotta do men, STOP draggin our hearts around, it ain't cool!
 sleeping beauty
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 15
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Posted: 9/26/2009 11:29:07 AM
way too fast for 6 weeks. never never ever let a new relationship go that fast......as the woman it is your responsibility to keep it at a slow pace until a man proves himself to you. its not too late, even though it hurts just ignore the situation and when he calls let him know you are confused by his lack of communication. tell him you both went too fast because for your comfort level the man needs to maintain more contact and connection than he is currently doing. tell him the solution if he is interested, is to cut the sex out for a few weeks to build trust and friendship. then take it from there.

if he says ok to all that and is still interested, you two have some potential. if he says no, then he doesn't know what he wants from life or a woman and anyone stuck with him will be miserable.
 Udahchica
Joined: 9/10/2009
Msg: 16
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Posted: 9/26/2009 12:22:49 PM

It's called TSP - Tactical Securing of P*ssy. ( Until a better one comes along)
Couldn't have summed it up any better than that!!!!
 Shamefullpride
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 17
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:25:16 PM

CAUSE MEN ARE COWARDS AND DON"T LIKE CONFRONTATION...Man up and do what u gotta do men, STOP draggin our hearts around, it ain't cool!




You just validated every man that has ever just stopped calling you.
"CONFRONTATION" shouldn't be a part of breaking up with someone.
But many men are becoming more and more aware of the signs of a good drama queen and tend to avoid any "unneeded" outbursts or dramatic situations.

I'd rather be a coward and have a piece of mind about myself then a fool arguing with a fool.

Only a fool puts their heart in the hands of a fool!
 honeybunny6
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 18
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:32:17 PM
Dating we both been wanting playing with each other not sleep ing
but still know he likes me
whats going on in his head is all he wants was the sex out of me or is it me not read t o sleep with him yet
he says he talking about long term when thats ages off adivce coz i need it

we r no long seeing each other will he miss me in the weeks what will i do keep rining him ?
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 19
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:37:34 PM
OP -- Holy Jesus Christ on a pogo stick...that narrative smacked of so much drama, clingy attitudes and needy desperation that I think I got some of it on my shoe.

Eesh...you'd think at 45 you'd no longer be acting like a pet starved for attention and affection.

Wow. How utterly tragic. Your post couldn't have come off any more "Fatal Attraction" if you actually penned the screenplay.

Just wow.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 20
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:39:13 PM
why do guys keep hanging on? actually I think you are hanging on, I'm not trying to be a prick or nothing but if a guy doesn't answer calls and not acting liking a oyfriend accordingly, so I'm not gonna tell you "leave him" and all that jazz but you know what to expect and you know his ways, so don't get frustrated when it happens, it's all on you.
 girlred228
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 21
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:50:53 PM
YOu teach people how to treat you... by calling him and texting him.. what did that teach him?.. that you would chase when him when he doesn;t do anything. Confrontation does sound so negative... yeah I think men don't deal with emotions well .. that is why men don't like to deal with it... leave the man alone.. give him a chance to man up and tell you what is going on. The thing is.. you invested way too much to early before you knew what you were getting?.. how can you be in love in 6 weeks.. I know it can happen.. but is it real and true at that point? I had more to say but the phone rang....LOL so I lost my train of thought
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 22
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:53:36 PM

CAUSE MEN ARE COWARDS AND DON"T LIKE CONFRONTATION...Man up and do what u gotta do men, STOP
Stop blaming men in general. If you must blame someone blame the actual man who did it to you. Better yet, blame yourself for allowing him to string you along and then forgive yourself for giving up your personal power and learn from the incident.


You are his" good enough for now gal", his "ms right now". He is only keeping you around until someone he wants more shows up. Don't allow yourself to be treated like that.
Most guys who have a "good enough for now gal" usually don't give them a key so that they have free reign on their personal living space. So, OP. don't let this post fuel the fear of abandonment you're already feeling..

Try to r.e.l.a.x. Op and gauge what happens when he gets back. There is no sense freaking out anyway.. you can't force someone to be with you and even if you could, how much fun would that be knowing he really didn't want to be there but you forced him to be >> Think about it.
 girlred228
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 23
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:53:37 PM
Well why don't you end it... that will solve all the problems of you trying to figure out what is going on?
 Rayner22
Joined: 9/10/2009
Msg: 24
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 1:04:03 PM
Simple. They keep their options open so when the next girl is over, he can come back to you, right? What you do is this, YOU move on, cut all ties, and get onwith your life. I am a professional pschyic, and I hear these issues constantly. Men think, AND FORGIVE ME for saying this, with their****. Thus, keep several 'fickle' or 'vulnerabvle' women on strings ready to pop back. I suggest, these are unhealthy relationships, so cut those ties, and start looking at empowering yourself, not giving 'away your power' to men. Also, when two people meet who are 'whole' with no hidden wife or partner it is a great way to meet, and perhaps grow from there. I certainly wouldn't send these emails and texts, I find that childish, just leave him alone now, and move on enlightened you wont fall for this crap again! Good luck Sue, and I wish you all the happiness x
 1Walker1
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 25
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 1:49:53 PM
You know, I'd expect this from a 16-19 year old girl but a 45 year old one??
I'm actually SICK of reading this same old $hi! on here every day: "Oh poor little me! I met a stranger, he lied to me but I didn't realize it until we swapped body fluid". IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE LADIES! It's all over TV. There's only a few men who will still respect you after early sex! Good luck finding them though!
Yes, guys lie, but so do women. Yes, women are wired differently but it's still, ultimately, their fault because they control access to their cum catcher! WISE UP!
Ya know, sex should somehow have a warning label: "Caution; premature swapping of body fluids with men you hardly know, can cause craziness, emotional distress, lonliness, constant ****ing on forums and even suicide. Use with caution AND at your own risk."
Jesus God, I can't wait until tomorrow so I can read 50 more of these SAME posts...
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