| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:23:48 AM | Well I posted a thread on here about a guy that Im really into but hes very cold with me. Ill quickly explain again.. We were friends, we didnt speak for a long time, he contacted me and we have started to text etc.. but he doesnt reply when I message him 80% of the time?.. anyway the other day after recieving responses on here saying drop him, I decided thats what to do.
So he text me, (after we hadnt spoke for a few days)...which by the way I was really suprised at! & I decided not to reply becuase I wanted to play him at his own game.. anyway then he text me again later on saying why havent u text me back? & again I didnt reply. Then I start getting phone calls saying I want to see you!He rang me a few times that night by the way, asking to see me...
He keeps blowing hot & cold...?
From a MAN's point of view please tell me what you think he wants, and verify if you think after everything he is actually interested?
Thankyou! | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:38:51 AM | | It doesn't sound like he's interested in anything but the chase. When he thinks he has you, the fun is over. When he thinks he doesn't, he starts pursuing again. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:45:14 AM | Maybe he doesn't like texting.
Despite today's technology delivering the ability to send messages instantly to anybody practically anywhere, people naturally accept challenges. If you are texting him too frequently, you might be coming off as needy or too chatty. You did the right thing by slowing down the pace.
No matter how interested you are in the guy, it always pays to take things slowly. Otherwise, he'll lose interest.
Good luck :) | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:45:47 AM | Good job on turning the situation around! Not too many girls have enough composure to do what you did.
There is no way to interpret his behavior - only he knows what's goingon in his head, and I'm doubtful that he actually knows himself. But if he keeps taxting/calling you it's a clear indication that he is interested.
My suggestion would be to respond his texts/calls most of the time, but not text/call him yourself. You've created space for him, and he's talking it. Don't rush back into that space. For you, on the other hand, it's a good opportunity to observe him. You will see very quickly if he's actually interested or blowing hot & cold. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:57:36 AM |
Good job on turning the situation around! Not too many girls have enough composure to do what you did.
Composure? Is that what you call stooping to an incredibly immature level and playing childish games?
OP, please tell us that you haven't slept with the guy! Assuming that you haven't, here's a general rule of thumb: if a guy is interested in you for more than just sex, he will respond to your texts & phone calls. Who is to say what the guy's deal is, so rather than play ridiculous games, why not... wait for it... wait for it... ASK HIM! I mean, HE is the only one who knows and asking a forum full of strangers what is going on in some kid's mind is futile, IMO. | |
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2run
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Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 6 | |
| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:59:45 AM |
From a MAN's point of view please tell me what you think he wants
He wants a booty call since the other girl didn't work out.
Happy Hunting!  | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:03:16 PM | My advice: don't play games (immature and selfish), get involved with the bad apple (which he most definitely is), and scar yourself with some bad experience or drama that will affect you the rest of your life. It's hard to resist, but don't do it. Cut him off entirely.
Instead, hang out with your girl friends (or if with guys, ONLY in groups), pursue your career, strengthen your family ties, and for me, follow God. Your value as a person is not tied to the amount of attention men give you.
When you get yourself into a good spot spiritually and emotionally, guys will be falling over themselves to woe and pursue you. When you've gotten that level of maturity and security, you'll know when the guy is leading you the right way, and who is a wolf in sheep's clothing..
Then, and only then, will you find that guy who will serve and treat you like the princess that you are. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:05:49 PM | What's the name of this game?
"I'll pretend to be less interested in you than you are in me." ?
You have already lost because you ARE more interested in him than he is in you.
The only way to win is to not play. ie Accept that he is not going to establish communication at the level you desire and respond to/ ignore his messages as your whim dictates, without the tactical goal of eliciting his amourous attentions.
Or you can lay it out in the open, telling him you're interested in a "more than friends" relationship. The potential for a larger wound is greater but you can stop picking this scab if he says no. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:09:59 PM | His many goal is to get you to chace him as keep you interested by trying harder when you act less interested and the dynamic of hot and cold will keep the temperater just right for him to get what he wants out of the relationship (Sex) with you only.
"The Power and Control over the Relationship is Always With Who Cares Less..."
The chaser is always the one who has to work at the relationship to make it work, now you got him chasing you so your in control of the relationship.
My advice is to never be hot or cold but just luke warm (room temp.) that way your only on the slow and steady level of building a relationship. But as soon as you have sex with him you given up almost all power over the relationship, taken what I am guessing about him that's what he is after and with other girls too.
Better show a little interest in someone who is more stable and nicer. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:47:32 PM | I'm going to respond at 90 degrees to the rest: I missed your previous post, so I only know this one.
If he doesn't respond AT ALL 80% of the time, he's a lackluster bum. If your problem is that he doesn't respond PROMPTLY, there's a slight possibility that technology is to blame. I just AGAIN had a slew of messages hit my cell phone all at once, which were written to me starting over seven hours ago.
As for what he wants, since you are 18, I assume he's in the same age range. Most 18 year old's only imagine they know what they want in life, since (tragically) you can't see very far ahead until you've gone a long way (heavy philosophy 101.2). So probably, he wants to play with you, one way and another. Yes, since he keeps trying, he is actually interested, but how deeply, and in what specifically, I can only guess. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:58:11 PM |
I wanted to play him at his own game
Okay.
He keeps blowing hot & cold...?
Hypocrisy FTW
From a MAN's point of view please tell me what you think he wants
You already answered your question.
verify if you think after everything he is actually interested?
Obviously he's interested. The more pertinent questions are:
What is he interested in?
What are you interested in?
If =/=, are you able to reconcile the difference(s)? | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:01:25 PM | Composure? Is that what you call stooping to an incredibly immature level and playing childish games?
Why not play games? I'm normally against it, but in this particular case, it's OP's learning experience. She learned that chasing guys doesn't work.
I'm glad that some people are getting pissed off. Obviously, they don't want to be outplayed. But seriously, acting out of your mind is harder than it may seem, when you actually like someone. Try it yourself one day. I know you want us to live in Disneyland where love is mutual and straightforward, but...
We are playing one big game called life, yet we are telling each other to stop playing games.
ASK HIM! I mean, HE is the only one who knows
Asking him at this point would be futile. Now it would come across as whining and begging. He probably doesn't know (yeah, bad sign). I played those games.
Oh, yeah, OP, do not sleep with him, especially in attempts to make him like you. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:45:05 PM | | Thankyou everyone for your advice, ive definately got in mind whats going to happen next, and for everyones record No I havent slept with him, and dont plan on it in the near future either! :) thanks again everyone! | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 2:10:49 PM |
Composure? Is that what you call stooping to an incredibly immature level and playing childish games?
Why not play games? I'm normally against it, but in this particular case, it's OP's learning experience. She learned that chasing guys doesn't work.
I'm glad that some people are getting pissed off. Obviously, they don't want to be outplayed. But seriously, acting out of your mind is harder than it may seem, when you actually like someone. Try it yourself one day. I know you want us to live in Disneyland where love is mutual and straightforward, but...
We are playing one big game called life, yet we are telling each other to stop playing games.
Yeah, I'm gonna disagree with just about all of this. Life is what you make it and if your life is one big game, then I feel sorry for you. Mature, well adjusted adults don't live that way, simply because they don't allow it in their lives. If your idea of Disney Land is a drama-free life without games, then I'll say Hi to Mickey for ya, right after I get off of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride! Welcome to MY life...
No I havent slept with him, and dont plan on it in the near future either!
hehehe, not "in the near future". Which means, the player still has a chance at getting some!
You see alwaysexpectingmiracles, OP learned absolutely NOTHING here.  | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 4:26:09 PM | | I'm going to be honest with you, I can't tell you what he wants. You know him better than me. If he is calling you and calling you, he could be interested, this all depends on how intrigued you are with this guy, i say that because you sound intrigued, I say just follow your heart. You know what you gotta do. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:34:05 PM | | your just a game to him, thats all. He likes the little bit of entertainment you provide, but honestly hes not serious about you..... | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 10:52:29 PM | Navigator6 is correct....the OP hasn't learned a gosh-darned thing.
He didn't respond to 80% of your texts. That means you're wasting your time. Do you really want a boyfriend who doesn't listen to you? A husband who ignores 80% of what you say? ....and yet you kept on pestering him.
Then he texts and calls for a few days to get her attention. "Is he interested?" Hmm.....I wonder WHY the phone would ring if a guy is NOT interested....hmmm....WHY is the phone ringing....hmmmm....WHO could it be....hmmmm......
You've been told again and again. The guys doesn't care about YOU. He only cares they you have two legs he can jam his d1ck between some night when your head is spinning. And since you can't seem to leave him alone, it's pretty inevitable that he will drill your brains out and then go back to ignoring 80% of your texts.
Then you will post to POF again: "Is he still interested?" I'm sorry that we cannot save you from yourself.
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:03:21 PM | Ego stroke
You're still there?
You're still talking to him?
He's still got it.
He's only interested in keeping his options open.
But you already know this, you asked it 2 days ago.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13171863.aspx#13171863
From a MAN's point of view Oh poo. | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/29/2009 1:35:56 AM | maybe you were texting him too much before? and being obsessive? and now that you stopped maybe he thinks you realized what you were doing and since you slowed down you might have potential again.. just a possibility..
or maybe he's just a weirdo | |
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| Is he interested....((Catch up!))
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:27:07 AM |
What is he interested in?
What are you interested in?
If =/=, are you able to reconcile the difference(s)?
Very good - I like it.
OP - if you follow the advice above you will need to stop texting and actually have an adult-like conversation. Novel concept. Try it...you might like it!
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