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 Author Thread: Do you ever just accept giving up?
 Jammer40351

Joined: 9/16/2004
Msg: 1
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 1:37:51 AM
Once I was married and it was pure hell for 3 long years. Thank God we never had children together. Otherwise I have dated and have had a my share of girlfriends in my past. It seemed like each time I thought it was the right lady, and I often would think about getting married. I have been engaged more than once and after awhile it seemed I would always see a very bad side of my mate (sooner or latter) and the wedding plans would be called off along with the relationship.

I'm truly at the point I have so often heard others speak of. That is to say, I think I am finally accepting the idea I may never find the right lady. I am 44, no kids of my own, having some employment problems, so things have gone better in the past for me. I am not mad or bitter about it, however I do get lonely sometimes. I miss having that special person in my life, but I have spent my life picking the wrong gal. I normally try to make a relationship last, but very often there comes a point in which I see a very bad side of a girlfriend and I discover I can not stay with her, or maybe she feels that way about me. I honestly do not feel I am that picky. Sometimes I feel maybe I should of been too picky all of these years. But at this time I'm at peace being single.

I even came close to getting married this year, but in the end the woman sent me one single hate-letter (email) saying some of the most hateful things I have ever been told. I could not believe what she said, I could not even finish reading the letter it hurt me so bad. I was in shock and I quickly realized that we could not marry. I always have been one to try to improve and be the best guy I can be, but it seems most of my relationships have resulted in me getting hurt in the end. So I finally figure it's just easier to accept being single and go on with life. I know myself, and I don't think I am a guy that is hard to get along with or anything. But for whatever reason after all of these years I have never been able to find the right lady, so I have learned to accept life as being single.

Sure in the back of my head I still hold out hope, but from a logical side I simply do not expect it to ever happen again. It's weird, I have heard so many others talk about getting to this stage, but only now do I actually feel the same way. I am not sadden, nor bitter. It's almost like a sense of peace just by knowing one does not have all of the tension and problems of trying to keep a relationship together. I know I tried my best each time, but it just was not meant to happen. I stay positive and happy and live each day to it's fullest. I figure this is the way I should of been living many years ago. So many years I wasted on ladies I thought I would one day marry. Now I feel I have all the time in the world to do everything else.

It's really a peaceful feeling. I am happy for all of the couples that seem perfect for each other. But I no longer feel each of us have to devote such a large chunk of our lives trying to keep a relationship together. I feel almost as if I had a burden lifted off my shoulders. It's really not so bad.

Does anyone else relate to this feeling? I have heard others describe it to me before. Surely there are others here that understand what I am saying.

My best.
 NappyKAT

Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 2
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 2:19:45 AM
I knew a guy like this. He has been in two marriages. The first marriage he was kinda young (young 20s's) and he felt he had to do the right thing because she was pregnant. But he was the compulsive cheater and that led to a divorce.

Then he got married again all he told me of that was that that her kids got in the way.

He's 57 and been single for about 17 years. He says he happy and content. Got a nice house, a nice car, likes fishing and gardening. I believe that he's happy single but getting deeper he really did want someone. He was lonely and sought physical affection and the stability of a long term relationship. But he was scared of getting screwed by women and he just a tad insecure about his looks in his mature age, so that made him a little shy too.

It very possible to be content and happy single and still desire someone in your life. I know of a couple of people like that.

Maybe it's good to give up. They say you find what you are looking for when you are no longer looking for it or expecting it.

But I believe in learning from your past relationships so there to me there really isn't a 'failed' relationship.

And if all these women are showing you a bad side and one even sent you hate mail - makes me wonder what you are doing wrong to bring this side about in women. I mean you come off as a nice guy, but that's just your side of things. Yeah, you could be picking the wrong women but it also sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You expect women to treat you badly, and you do something to make their bad side out come out and now you're afraid of trying to find the right one.
 psychoholoic

Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 3
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:15:43 AM
In essence, aside from the emotional/physical stuff. Men are better off single for so many reasons. You're lucky you don't have kids with any of them so then you would be screwed so you can look at the bright side of things. I'm younger(30) but I feel the same way. A lot of women in this forum are immature, and say a lot of dumb illogical bull sh**, so don't be surprised if they flag this post or ramble on about how everything's your fault and try to point out "red flags" that shouldn't even be red flags. I say work on your career, go back to school if you have to, you're not too old for that, I just went back this year and wow some of my classmates look more like their ready to retire in the next five years lol But seeing posts like yours at your age makes me think "do women change with age"? Or do they always screw with our heads? I don't know.

Some may say I'm not too old yet myself, I know I'm 30, but reading these forums is probably screwing with me quite a bit, plus my current dating statistics, definitely made me think "why should I bother?" I mean if the women I've seen attack my posts on here ,if that is a accurate description of how they think, than I shall say "no thanks!"
 NappyKAT

Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 4
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:37:15 AM
Poor put-upon psychoholoic, you are really are too young to be this cynical and upset about women and dating. But you haven't given up, I'm sure. I betcha you still keep an eye for the girl who will rock your world, and I'm not just talking about sex. Then what will you say and do since that goes contrary to what you currently believe about women and dating?

Find her soon and spare us your lonely psycho bullsheet.

Fitting name btw.
 LeftofNormal

Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 5
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 4:46:37 AM
Right on, nappykat!
psycho is victimized by ALL of womankind. The cold, dark, heartless world is out to get him.

OP, I have had spells of feeling as you described. Ultimately the optimist in me wins. I focus on the people I know who have found amazing relationships later in life.
Many posters will say the common denominator in all of your failures is you. If that statement resonates with you, then there could be a certain unhealthy personality type that you're attracted to that necessarily leads to these similar disastrous outcomes. Are you a rescuer? You save the woman then she comes to resent you for it? Maybe a little counseling could help. Anyway, good luck.

Is there a forum for success stories? That would be a nice balance to this one.

Edit: OP, it's not going to help your case in finding new relationships online when the link to your music video reveals a "long term love with TJ."
 CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 6
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 8:54:39 AM

A lot of women in this forum are immature, and say a lot of dumb illogical bull sh**,

Takes one to know one!

I DO believe men more often claim to have given up (or, the more laughable "choose to be celibate" line). I DO believe that they would love for the right woman to come save them from themselves. I DO believe it is fear that keeps them single.

The difference for me is, I'm not happy being "content". I would be content being HAPPY, though. I want MORE than "comfortable". I want the higher high.
 bobisthe14u

Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 7
Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 10:22:45 AM
Do you ever just accept giving up?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I gave up years ago when I realized that I will never meet the "one," and that the phrase you will find someone one day was a lie! There is no point in trying when what you want does not want you back.. It is always he wants her but, she does not want him, but she wants him and he does not want her.... Some story and song always.. You can always try searching for the queen of hearts(beautiful on the inside) instead of the queen of diamonds(only beautiful on the outside) but trying to find both in one person is not being in reality. The one you want may find you some day, but you must realize this before you turn her away. If you keep turning them away you have no one to blame but yourself... Anyways, I have beer to rely on so I don't have these problems.. Of course I am here because I am lonely, but being lonely does not mean that you deserve someone... You have to put in some effort other than sitting behind a computer all day. Until then cheers...
 carolann0308

Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 8
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 10:54:01 AM
Yes, by all means give up, stop torturing yourself.. There is a commonality in a string of failed relationships and that commonality is you. Perhaps you are pairing off with these poor choices because you keep picking the same bad types or feel a need to be in a relationship strictly because you fear being alone.
Growing to love yourself and accepting the way you are is part of getting older. It is OK to live alone, it is OK to have friends and not lovers and it is ok never to marry.
 bobisthe14u

Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 9
Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 11:11:20 AM
"Yes, by all means give up, stop torturing yourself.. There is a commonality in a string of failed relationships and that commonality is you. Perhaps you are pairing off with these poor choices because you keep picking the same bad types or feel a need to be in a relationship strictly because you fear being alone.
Growing to love yourself and accepting the way you are is part of getting older. It is OK to live alone, it is OK to have friends and not lovers and it is ok never to marry."

^^^^^^This is an awesome post and I agree with this.. Why does one need or want someone to begin with? One must ask themselves this and provide an honest answer...
 Jammer40351

Joined: 9/16/2004
Msg: 10
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 2:48:52 PM
Just to be clear, the first thing I thought in the past was it had to be me, I had to be doing something wrong. And when I was about 20 years old I can see where I was not as good of a boyfriend as I should of been. However the past few relationships have done nothing but reinforce this notion that I keep picking women that are not very compatible with me. I looked inside myself for years to improve myself, and I finally got to a point in which I honestly feel I have done all I can do. I base this not only on my own views, but also on what mutual friends had to say about such relationships.

It seems like every time I would introduce a new girlfriend to friends and/or family that I normally would get funny looks and later I would sometimes be asked what I seen in the girl etc... So I reached a point in which I gave all I had to give, and still it would be rare for things to last more than 3 years. So I finally figured I am seeking women that I really have little or nothing in common with me. I have no understanding as to why I have been this way my entire life. So after trying over and over so many times, it's not that I fear a relationship nor that I feel by swearing off that will mean I will find somebody. I know better than to believe that age old argument that "when you give up you will find the right person"- HAHA, yeah right. There is little logic there, but I suppose it happens to some people.

Like I said before, I do get lonely, and in the back of my head I like to believe it's possible to find the right woman to spend the rest of my life with. I am so sick of first-dates and relationships that start of with sparks, but end up in pain and bitterness. But my logical side of my mind has accepted the idea I will most likely be single for the rest of my life. The key is not to get depressed over it, to accept it and to be thankful for what one has. All I need do is think about how bad my past relationships ended up, no matter how well they may of started, and I feel peace not being involved any more. A few years ago I would of never thought it would of been possible for me to feel this way, but it sure beats feeling sorry for yourself! haha.. So I am thankful for the family and true friends that I do have, and I will remain thankful for what I have in life and no longer feel bad for being by myself. I know in my mind that I have tried my hardest. I have no idea why some of my past relationships turned out the way they did. All I know is I have got to the point I feel it's no longer worth the worry and work of living a life in which one feels they have to be with another in order to be happy. Finally I am happy being alone and I am thankful I am no longer with any of the ex-gals of my past because I know the pain was too much. Life is good now.

It's true I would not be on this site if I was not hoping to meet a cool lady here. But I really do not expect that to ever happen. It's sort of like trying to pass a test and being braced and expecting a poor grade while hoping for an A. I do not feel any pity, and one reason why is that I am truly thankful I got away from the past few long term relationships because they turned into something so painful and hateful.

One last thing: In my original post I mentioned a hate-mail (email) letter I got from a woman I was going to marry. We had a date set and she had a ring from me, it was all to happen. But she had some mental issues and was seeing at least 2 or 3 doctors and/or counselors. She led me to believe she needed this help because she had a very hard time getting over her long term marriage of 20 years that ended up in divorce. However, a few weeks before the wedding she had already sent me a couple of totally UNPROVOKED emails that were pretty mean. But the last straw was her third hate-email she sent me that told me off every which way one can imagine, and she suddenly advised me she was against almost everything she knew very well that I cherished and was important in my life. It was as if she was doing everything she could to hurt me, and I did not say or do anything to her (I thought it over many times) to provoke such a letter, I was in shock. At that time I seen the pattern of her extreme mood swings, and this was by far the most mean letter that she had ever sent me that I swear was totally unprovoked- I may never understand what triggered her to turn on me.... It was almost like a person that was Bi Polar times a million! I was very relieved that we never married because it would of been bad. - Thus a major reason I'm happy being single again.
 LeftofNormal

Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 11
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:26:19 PM
I do get lonely... it sure beats feeling sorry for yourself

I don't buy your last statement. It's obvious you do feel sorry for yourself, especially when you're lonely, or you would not be seeking a quorum for your misery.
My take is that you just don't know how to deal with it any more-- your "techniques" (All I need do is think about how bad my past relationships ended up) are failing too.
Maybe they take the edge off of your loneliness, but you're looking for more understanding.

I am so sick of first-dates and relationships that start of with sparks, but end up in pain and bitterness.

This leads me to believe you are still choosing poorly.
My breakups, although sad losses, often end with a continued friendship, or at the very least, a mutual farewell with, "I hope you find what you're looking for--I want you to be happy," sentiments attached.
Maybe you should let your friends/family/minister choose for you?

hoping to meet a cool lady here. But I really do not expect that to ever happen.

You truly are focusing on the negative. Your sentence structure reveals your self-deception: "Here's what I'm telling you I want, BUT HERE'S WHAT I REALLY BELIEVE."

I have no understanding as to why I have been this way my entire life...I have no idea why some of my past relationships turned out the way they did.

I go back to the counseling suggestion. You're caught in your own catacomb. On some level you must not feel deserving.

I did not say or do anything to her (I thought it over many times) to provoke such a letter

You did something very specific: you CHOSE her.
You lit the fuse (signed up for her), closed your eyes to reality and crossed your fingers hoping it wouldn't blow up in your face. How else can you explain the SAME outcome?
Maybe this will be the explosion that cracks open that thick skull of yours to get some help.
 colt8301

Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 12
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:49:28 PM
Jammer, I am on the boat with you dude, granted I had never really had the experience of being married twice, I have been alone for years, hadn't had girlfriend since 15 if that counts, honestly I'm not that interested in women or anybody for that matter anymore,and having children in these times are repulsive. all I had was a 2 women I was interested in but I blew it with both of them, I actually cut them off now, i can't be the "other" guy. all I want now is to be kinda of successful in my career choice and travel a bit, somewhere in the mediterrean, lol, then I can ride off into the sunset "alone".
 NappyKAT

Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 13
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 4:48:02 PM
^^^^^ bullshit to everything you just said. If that were true you wouldn't be on here looking for a girl, and i betcha you are still looking for them in real life.

Self deception indeed.
 Dumpling-Girl

Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 14
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 5:05:30 PM
I think about just accepting it and giving up. It's hard though, because I do enjoy being in a relationship so much, and I think love is a beautiful thing. Also, eventually I'll see someone attractive and want to give it another try. I think it's a bit of a waste too, as I know I can be such a good, caring girlfriend. But this is the most settled I've felt in not looking for a long time. I know I need some time alone now. But I still get lonely, and I'm still wishing for someone in particular, that I know that I have to let go of (the idea of him. he is already gone). I'm not sure how long I can go before not wanting to find someone again though. I like the idea of giving up, but actually doing it is like giving up a favourite food or something. Maybe I need a support group to quit men. LOL. Or a patch or something...
 farceur

Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 15
Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 9/29/2009 5:11:00 PM
I gave up when it occurred to me that the kind of woman I would be looking for wouldn't be interested in me. I figure my chances of finding her would be about the same as getting hit by lightning playing gold. I don't play golf, but in a thunderstorm I do go running around naked on the golf course, just in case. They know me there. It's OK.
 Jammer40351

Joined: 9/16/2004
Msg: 16
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/2/2009 3:31:30 PM
LeftofNormal: I think your the first person here That I have disagreed with in almost 100% of your advise, but I would like to thank you for being so nice and taking your time to help me. The thing is, I do not agree I need counseling at all. In fact it was my fiancee that was seeing 2 "mental related doctors" and at least one or two counselors. It became obvious to me that the reason she sited for seeing these people almost daily was NOT what she "feed me" - (that she was still having problems dealing with her divorce of which she left her husband after he got very ill with a terminal disease!!)- It just took us time to get to know each other before we realized we would not be happy together. She suddenly changed personalities on me at least 3 times, and each time she escalated by treating me worse each time. It became clear to me then why she did not stay married and why she needed to see so many mental help professionals. I did make the mistake of giving her the benefit of any doubt at first, I normally trust a person until they give me a reason not too. I could go on and on, but please do not give me this line that I choose her thus I deserved her turning into the anti-Christ on me at random every 3 weeks! Again, thanks for your help, but no thanks to your advise.

I would like to thank the bulk of the rest of you. Most of you seem to understand what I am saying. Like, sure it would be great if I could meet that single special woman that I feel that God made just for me- yeah that would be great. But it does not make me a "negative" person to realize the odds of me meeting such a gal now that I am 44 years old and having employment problems. People tell me I am almost too positive sometimes. Sometimes people call things negative when it's simply reality. Is it negative to say we ALL WILL DIE? Of course we all die, and we never know when. But it is NOT negative to state a simple fact of life that is the truth. (for example)

I truly hope that if I ever do date again that it could be the results of a couple of my few true friends that I know in person, not just online. Already my friends think they may have a date for me, but it's one of those deals where I do not want to move too fast because she is still married, yet separated and trying to get the $$ for divorce. I rather wait until she is divorced, but OTH they say good merchandise does not stay on the racks very long, but she is dating already, maybe I should ask her out with help of my friends. She is good looking and was always a good stay at home mom....From what I am told she does not mind that I am having job problems as she appears to be seeking a friend to talk too. That's basically the kind of gal I want.

But it's true that in my past I have chosen very very bad girls to date, and even marry. But at my age I'm not seeking therapy, I am learning to stay happy living alone but at the same time I am doing my best to hook up a date with a lady that does not ask me where I work as soon as she meets me (lol). My point is, I am BRACED. I am Happy. But I know I would be even happier if I could meet the right lady to share my life with. So until I do meet this lady, I am making the best of every day of my life. With every day that passes I find it's easier to live alone. So I am holding out forever if I must. No more settling for the first woman that looks at me in a Walmart. lol (just made that one up- sorry!! I thought it was funny)

Thanks to all of you for taking your time to read my story, and double thanks to all of you that replied with your thoughts and advice. I may not agree with one or two of you, I do find some truth in others that can relate here. Others can feel free to reply here, I will be back to read more. And thanks to all that can truly relate to my situation. Maybe some of us could start a Lonely Hearts Club Band and then really be HAPPY as ever, eh?

Peace,

Terry:
 CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 17
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/2/2009 4:51:50 PM
You know what? I think an ACTUAL lonely hearts club would really work.
It's the internet that keeps people apart, sort of : we have all this time to decide that this guy or that has a certain trait that I don't want to deal with. But in REAL life, if I met him, that trait may fade in importance because he HAS this other trait--one maybe I didn't even KNOW I adored.

In short, we're all too picky on the internet!
 Serenity Sam

Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 18
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/2/2009 5:12:31 PM
Yes, I accept giving up on marrage, unless you intend on having a family(children), or some sadistic reason to inflict pain on yourself by being ruled by the emotions of another, then go for it otherwise leave it alone. Life can be lonely at times, regardless if your married or not, but that is no reason to put your life in jepordy by poor judgement. It may be time to find things to do. Learn a new activity, read a book, join a social club, invite someone to a movie or event to share, but dont spend your time running after someone to fulfil some fantasy of finding Miss Right, no one is perfect. Love is way too overbought and overplayed, the truth is you experience love and you have no idea if someone else feels what you do. People who cohabitate dont always live happily ever after, divorce statistics prove that. Those that do survive together spend some long agonizing time making it work, so if you have that time, emotional stability, then possibly consider it. Never expect anything and do just the opposite expect problems because that is what is always is confronted when two unsimilar people come together. It takes work to meet half way and unless both parties can meet half way then it better to stay single. Dont belive anyone saying "Thats because you havent met me yet, thats just horse dinky" . Go into a relationship realizing things arent going to be easy, even though the intial stage of a relationship can be euphoric, you eventually wake up from that high.
Unless your committed, and thats not some behavioral instituion( although it could lead to that) remember there are lot of fish waiting for others, be choosey and take only what works for you, others do the same. Dont sweat the small stuff, do what makes you happy. Life is short.
 guyd42

Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 19
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/2/2009 7:41:30 PM
“I feel almost as if I had a burden lifted off my shoulders. It's really not so bad.”

I had to give up after years on this site. I now feel this way.
 Jammer40351

Joined: 9/16/2004
Msg: 20
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/2/2009 11:15:31 PM
Wow, just maybe a lonely hearts club might be a good idea for us, thanks to CassaGo mentioning it. Of course we would have to agree to meet somewhere near a hotel and all of live so far apart, and a depression piratically on.... I do not know if we could get enough together, but if we got a group of men and women that all share this same feeing, we should have a bond together, it really makes sense. The hard part would be working out all of the details for a meet and the need to raise a litle cash make reservations, then later find that 1/2 changed their minds and never came thus knocking us out of a discount rate etc... I know I started a Kentucky and nearby group get together once, and we got to the point to where we wanted to collect $$ from people for the purpose of getting a lobby and a certain amount of hotels reserved for one night. At first it sounded fairly easy, but everything went up in smoke and thus that get-together in my home state of Kentucky never got past the money stage, otherwise it was not too had to find a date and give people enough time to earn days to take off for personal days etc.

How many here might be interested in a Lonely hearts club meeting in the future? And, if so how much would you expect to pay for a single or double (depends on reserves) bed motel room?

Computer web cams of high quality can now be bought for as little as $15 and less. If most of our users were on cable or DSL we could use a messenger service like Yahoo and one of us could create a free room, invite everyone that knows the password in, and maybe we would enjoy a inexpensive safe non intrusive CYB-ER-MEETING of The Lonely Hearts here....?? After all if we are all in the same state of mind, would it not be interesting to be able to hear and see each other on Yahoo Messenger? It would be a voice and text chat room along with cams for any 2 people that agree to hook up together and they talk in a private room while the rest stay in the main room. I know Yahoo the best so that's why I suggested yahoo, but many other messengers should work too.

Just speculating...
 Jammer40351

Joined: 9/16/2004
Msg: 21
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:14:11 PM
Well, it's been over 24 hours since I replied here, I believe that means I can have two replies in a row right??, If I'm wrong about that I am sure the mods will do their part to let me know.

I just wanted to say to guyd42: Were the same age and feel the same exact way. Another thing I noticed is that your not the first guy to say he gave up after signing up on this site. I wonder what it is about this site that makes us feel as if this is rock bottom in the world of dating?

When I think about it I found more gals to date in chat rooms on other sites. I would find a site with people from my area and just start talking, and listening to the voice chatting as well. One has to put up with Auto-Bots which are often programs that allow mostly young women to lure men to give them their CC# for them to tease a guy on the web cam- I have a strong dislike for gals that do this, but I realize everyone needs to make a living and this is the worse economy by far for me in my life.

So given the fact that I have about a 0% ratio of replies compared to the emails I send here, and from what so many other guys say, I just don't think this is a good place to meet ladies. Over the years I made some friends on the phone that are on here, but I could not take a girl out that lived 2,000 miles away from me! Also I can not recall a woman ever sending me an email here..... I have to wonder what the heck are we doing on this site? There has to be a better place to at least meet ladies that talk. In the meanwhile I will remind myself of the bad ides of dating so I do not end up feeling sorry for myself. God knows I have more pressing issues than worrying about women at my age.

So I don't know how much longer I will be visiting this site. I never really gain anything by being on here. Chat rooms are not fun places to be, but I sure had better luck meeting real live women there. Over here I just don't know why it seems like a desert.
 whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 22
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:42:23 AM
Old bachelors in their 50's, 60's and beyond are some of the lonliest, most miserable people I have ever seen. Unmarried men suffer depression, heart disease, and die younger than married men.

Men don't do well living alone mentally or physically long term.
Statistics prove this. Before anyone starts arguing with me, I know what I'm talking about. Please be informed and do some reading.

For a while, enjoy being alone. But know that at some point you will
be happier in a long term loving relationship. You have plenty of time to find that.

ps: Since you said you have never had a woman contact you here, I was going to but you have your mail settings so that someone of my advanced age can't.
 Mr.Clean18

Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 23
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/7/2009 1:00:56 PM
I'm so glad I came across your post.It sums up the way I feel about it to.I was trying to put my fingure on exactly how I felt about the whole thing,and now I know...
 Jammer40351

Joined: 9/16/2004
Msg: 24
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Do you ever just accept giving up?
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:39:08 PM
whenwillthiswork26: I will change the age settings. The reason I had them set where they are is in the back of my head I used to like toying with the idea of maybe having children someday. Now, the thought of having my own children is pretty much a sure thing it will never happen.

I am sorry if the restriction made you feel old, as that was not my intention when I set it up. Gos I have dated ladies older than myself, I am sorry to seem so shallow.

Thanks to the other guy-members that know how I feel. Heck if nothing else maybe the guys can get together on here, or somewhere online, just to chat and maybe learn things from each other. (before anyone even thinks it, no- I am a straight guy- lol)

I must admit in recent days I have felt very strong pressures of feeling lonely. On one hand I have accepted it. On the other hand it still hurts. All in all it clearly sucks because I can think of no worse person to date than somebody that thinks there beaten down and just accepts it. I hope one can gain points by "wanting to change".
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