| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:39:46 PM | Would you ever consider dating someone much younger? My back story is this:
There's this man whom I was really attracted to a while back. We got along really well, both personalities clicked etc. Only problem was, he's 36, and I'm only 21, but turning 22 later this year. He rejected me because of the age gap, and from then onwards I didn't bring up the subject. We've remained friends and he's now dating a woman closer to his age (in her late 20s).
If you were in his position, and met a girl you really liked, would you date her despite the age gap, or reject the idea of it? Usually I stick with men who are no more than 7 years older than me, so this was a one-off sort of thing. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 9/30/2009 10:41:14 PM | here is the comparison using my real age..
I'm 54.. she's 38, never had children.
That should say it all.
If you have any other questions.. email me directly. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:46:56 PM | I say I have dated & Married younger woman my whole life. I have found that it is the maturity factor or the seasoning for me. Seasoning is when someone grew up fast because they had too. There outlook on life and input in situations. As I find myself maturing and changing my viewpoints on life I want my S/O to grow with me but more times then not, people grow apart. Whereas One will change ideas and attitude and the other might not.
I feel that woman who are younger change their minds, outlook and attitude on things more frequent then lets say a man would. I also have found that the reason woman like to go out with me although I am older is because of stability and straight forward as we know the ramifications of not being honest in a relationship where a young man may say what you want to hear and an older guy may just nip it in the bud sorta speak. Not to say all older men are on the level just more apt to be clear.
My girlfriends are usually an average of 7 - 10 years younger and as I get older I am sure that may even increase. As I believe after a woman is 35 she will even widen that age gap. As the cruel joke of men aging and mellowing goes.... You see woman who are younger are influenced by their friends and what their opinions are (as it seems to be important) but as they get older they realize that is up to them (the woman) to make the decision to keep themselves happy and not their friends who is or what is important to them. Like an older woman is not worried about replication as a younger woman and her bio clock. But security is important, so the rich balding guy is safe and fun and secure. Where a younger woman is looking for both factors (this is primal and deep down not in you're conscious B.T.W) So hence you're attraction to the older guy.
Also some guys out there really care about the ramifications of mis-leading a woman on about a family and all that and will sometimes cut the woman loose as they know it is not going to work out. So they will say it is an age thing... when they know you are going to have an alarm clock go off at 28. But if you want to have a family and all of that you should probably stay closer to your age as it tends to work better for that application. I mean who wants to have a kid with a guy who is 40 and will probably be about dead in 25 years and the woman is 15 years younger. It can and does work but statistics have a good argument.
wow that turned out long | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 12:06:07 AM | I would only date someone closer to my age. 14 years difference would be enough to show me that we would definitely be in two different times in our lives.
For instance, I may have already had a career, bought a house, would be ready ti have children and may enjoy great conversations. Someone who is 22 would be in a much greater different place in ger life. She would still be in school (or just finishing), would want to look for work, may now think about wanting children a little later etc…
In essence, the lifestyle the older person may have may appear very inviting to the yunger one but, the difference in life experience would be immense. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:11:33 AM | Two years ago when I was 35 I dated a women who was 23. We only dated about 3 months as it just fizzled out. Sex was great, and I had a lot of fun, but in the end she wanted to go out partying 3-4 nights a week. I kept up with her for a little then it got to the point where it just wasnt fun anymore. All her friends were younger so whenever I hung out with them it was difficult to have a conversation with them as we didnt have a lot in common.
So in the end, yes I would. I wouldnt expect anything but the obvious and that is sex. Very nice to look at that is for sure.... | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:40:50 AM | Sorry, only older and mature women can date younger men that age and above where you are.
If this were reversed, I'd say go for it.
But alas, it's not.
You're practically old enough to be his daughter, so move on.
Or use him. Use each other. You're grown.
He's got money, you got pu$$y - you know how this is gonna go.
Now I'm speaking from a complete stranger's point of view.
If if I spoke from a momma's POV I'd be like 'WTF?? HE'S TOO OLD FOR YOU! HE'S PRACTICALLY MY AGE AND ALMOST OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR DADDY! WHY CAN'T YOU DATE BOYS YOUR OWN AGE!'
To which the most common response from young people is 'Boys/Girls my own age aren't mature enough.'
Yeah. Because every kid think they are very mature 
Aw hell, I don't know. Give it a whirl and see how it goes. Make sure he doesn't have herpes and use a condom. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:45:33 AM | 36-21= 15. Yeah, 15 years is a lot no matter how you look at it. I'm 32 and even I'd have a problem with a 21 year old. It's hard to see something serious coming out of it. Both are at different stages in life - in other words: not all that much in common. At the end of the day age is more than just a number.
Let me just add that the above applies to any cougar out there as well. There's no difference. By pretending that you're younger than you are doesn't substract years off your age. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:35:18 AM | | I think there can be somewhat of an attraction across age groups...but if you aren't in the same place in life, if there are stages one has been through and the other hasn't - that is the real issue. I've dated men 17 years older, and 7 years younger...and they both "worked" in their own way, because of where we were in life at the time. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 9:23:18 AM | It's not actual age...
But maturity, and place in life...
Things like
Do you have kids, does he have kids
Did you grow up quickly due to issues that forced it.
AND
Did he have a pampered life and mature slower.
I have told my friend at work I would not date a 21 year old. However, I am talking about a specific 21 year old that I know is in a different place in her life than I am.
OP are you to at the same points in your lives? That is a much bigger question than your physical age. Usually (but not always) the more mature person realizes that the two of you aren't and doesn't let the relationship progress to the next level.
Is that what might have happened? | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:31:36 AM | | I think it's true that AGE truly is just a number. Really it depends on each person's maturity level and where they are (life stage) in their life. That being said when I use to date I would date women no younger than then years and no older than ten years. I have always preferred women who were three to five years older than me. However, I am an interesting case because even when I was 25 years old my mind was probably like a 55 year old since I had been in the Marine Corps and it aged my mind well beyond it's years. One great thing about dating younger women though is that they usually have less psycho exes to deal with and they are not "as ruined" as several of the older ladies are. Even that depends though on the individual girl. In the future if I do date again, I might date women who are younger though so I will have to deal with hopefully less baggage. Also as a guy when you date older women you have to compete with ALL of their past exes (which naturally they usually have more exes since they are older) and that can cause problems if the older woman has unusually high expectations, thus creating a bit of perfectionism and feelings of failure on the part of the mile for not being able to surpass the combined expectations set by previous exes. Hopefully this makes sense! LOL Good Luck! | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:17:09 AM | | I'm a woman in my 30s and i wouldnt consider dating a 21 yr. old. Theres nothing in common and no life experience (which makes a person have character). I really cant see why a man would date someone younger (other than for sex) but what do i know i'm single. good luck!! | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 12:28:59 PM | even people older then you can be more immature then you. I was born july 18,1979
my exboyfriend was born june 22,1971 we met Jaunary 10,2003.
I endup dumping him march 2008 cause he started drinking at some point and when we met I told him I didn't want a guy who drinks and he said he would never touch the stuff.Later on he lost his job and started drinking made perved remarks how his 14 year old niece was getting her boobies and the father was there saying it too they was both drinking and remarking.They was acting like a bunch of runking perved teens when their in their 30s now I know why no one in his family can keep a relationship get married and stay married. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:34:05 PM | | no vodka he drinks it like a baby drinks breast milk or its the only thing on the planet. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:38:37 PM | | I've dated older and younger and the younger women have actually been more mature though the older women are usually a little more....shall we say adventurous. Though that being said, I've never been married and do want children so at 32 I think my ideal is someone in their 20's so that there is still time to date/marry and then do the kid thing. I had a friend who didn't get married till he was about 36 and his wife was roughly the same age and they jumped right into the kid thing as fast as they could because of their age. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 5:38:19 PM | If think for guys, it depends what we're looking for.
- Focus: One-night stand -- yep.
- Focus: FWB - High liklihood, if she is really cool and not typical-21, they click decently well.
- Focus: Casual Dating - Not a high chance, but there is some chance. Guy will be more picky and weary at first, and it probably won't last too long (your situation you had).
- Focus: LTR - A guy in his 30s and a girl well under 25? Low chance. If you're out of his league in looks and wise & mature and he's an off-the-cuff kinda guy and you two click? Decent chance. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:35:31 PM | I'm not in my 30s. I'm 48. I date a 19-year-old. So I guess I date despite age differences.
The age thing is pretty stupid, anyway. Young people can be mature, and old people can be puerile. People say, "but what could you have in common" as if the great things in life such as literature and music and art were only available when people reach a certain age. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:34:53 PM | I have never had a long term relationship with a guy my age or older than me because I look alot younger than my years, so I get asked out alot by men in their mid twenties. Maybe for another reason I am not aware of.
I prefer someone my age. But so far I am not seeing any difference in maturity between the younger or the older.
So, I am totally with the view that age is just a number. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:56:28 PM | | if she has a good head on her shoulders...it makes no difference and we men are wired for younger women...sorry ladies...just how it is. i'm 41 and the best girlfriend i've had in the last few years was 26 and had a good head on her shoulders. better than most screwed up emotionally bent women my age. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:31:41 PM | I came across 2 girls now, that by default like "older" men...
Im 34.. and one girl is 21, the other 22...
I am kind of creeped out by this. I used to "date" older women, because I was attracted to maturity. but the biggest age gap was 7 years.
now I recently seperated, and she was 7 years younger, let me tell you there is such a huge difference.
like said earlier on here, for one night stands I think it's alright.. but having a relationship with a younger woman is questionable..
I can't imagine myself calling a 22 year old my "partner"...
there are to many gaps in interesst and common knowledge..
it's frustrating making a joke about some 90's rage.. and realizing she was in diapers when you where working and paying bills. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:13:21 PM | | Me? No. I am done with immature people. Maybe I am stereotyping. I am not focused on age, but someone waaaay younger than me would raise a flag (especially for a long term relationship) Men looking for way younger women always raise a red flag to me- | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/5/2009 4:44:09 PM | I couldn't do it - of course, that age difference for me would make her 16 and I prefer to stay outta jail. :) For me, at 31, my cut off is right around 25 years old, but I prefer a little older than that because we'll have grown up with similar influences and will likely have more in common.
I think most mature guys recognize that this great of an age difference will simply cause problems, for many reasons. I respect this guy, because he's not leading you on just to get some young tail. (Of course, for all I know, you all ready went there and he didn't have to lead you on...) | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/5/2009 5:19:45 PM | I disagree. If a man's aim is true, (meaning he's not just trying to score some tail) then age is just a number.
Most women are more mature anyway, so the 14 years seems huge, but in reality it's not.
My parents are 14 years apart. My father met my mom when she was 24. He was 38.
They are still happily married, 40 years later.
I wouldn't rule it out but I'm not actively looking for someone significantly younger. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:43:43 PM | | No, I would not date someone significantly younger than me. I don't want to be one of "those guys"--i.e. the 40-50 years olds walking arm in arm with women young enough to be their daughters. They look pathetic. They look like guys who couldn't get a real relationship so opted to be someone's sugar daddy. | |
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| Men in their 30s...
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:48:53 PM | | Sugar daddys is what I think when I see an older man with a younger woman- When I am 50, maybe I will change my mind... I agree with the guy above- those dudes look pathetic (as do the women..but you LOVE him, right? lol....) | |
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