| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:35:22 AM | I know we have had threads about dating/marrying smokers, drinkers, drug users etc,but what about folk who gamble.
I dont mean the odd flutter on the horses,lottery,bingo etc, but folk who can spend hundreds if not thousands of pounds and even go in to debt to fund their habit.
The reason I have put up this thread is my Niece works in an amusement arcade/sunbed establishment and just called to say they have had a lady there all day and she has spend in the region of £3,000 on gambling machines today, seems she has over 30 missed calls on her mobile from her husband who has finally tracked her down and is now on his way there.
Seems she is a regular there and does spend quite a lot of money on these machines, so I expect he knows about her addiction,unless she hides it like some addicts can and do.
Do you think these places should stop folk playing the machines if and when the realise these people surely must be spending beyond their means (although I expect they would only find somewhere else to gamble ) or just let then be to loose everythng.
And could you date someone who had such an addiction,or do you know someone who has. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:47:22 AM | no i wouldn't date them
gambling is a mugs game | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:48:55 AM | A friend of my ex has a gambling problem, he spends a small fortune in the bookies, plays the fruit machines, goes to casinos and even the bingo! I don't know how his other half puts up with it, he wins big every now and again but although he keeps a record of what he puts on the horses and how much he wins (he claims to break even over the course of a year) it doesn't include everything else.
Gambling is a mugs game .... whoever heard of a poor bookie?
I couldn't date someone who can throw money away like that
I know there are professional gamblers who makes their living by gambling but that is mainly online rather than a punt in the bookies. Still a very risky thing to be doing though and not exactly a reliable income
I don't think you could have an establishment ban someone if they are spending too much time there, they will only find somewhere else and now that its so easily accessible on the internet you don't even need to leave the house to do it. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:53:08 AM |
Do you think these places should stop folk playing the machines if and when the realise these people surely must be spending beyond their means (although I expect they would only find somewhere else to gamble ) or just let then be to loose everythng.
The majority of bookies etc have some kind of know your limit..gamble wisely thing up in the windows now and leaflets too,this is all they are obligated to do as they are a money making business.
Much like the drink wisely posters in off licences,if they are pulling in money they are unlikely to refuse custom,addict or not.
And could you date someone who had such an addiction,or do you know someone who has.
If it was at a stage where they were just throwing away money,in debt but still refusing to see they had a problem then I couldnt cope with that,some people can and do make a good living out of gambling whether they are also addicts I dont know,maybe to them it is just a job. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:10:08 AM | No chance,i have a flutter on the Grand National and the occasional scratch card but thats it.Gambling addiction is a downward spiral to hell and despair.
My uncle was an addicted gambler,he was a manager at a well known bank so on a good wage,and my aunt was oblivious for years until one day she found 100's of unpaid bills. She was beside herself with worry and in the end she left him as he claimed he went to Gam- Anon to try but sadly for her the debts he caused followed her and she ended up paying them as uncle ended up in a hostel.He ran up £130 k of debt | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:18:02 AM | The odd £1 worth of dreams on the lottery is it for me, and the only when it's a roll over, even then a real life "roll over" might just be the winning ticket. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:21:23 AM | Don't get me started!
I've never been in a bookies or a casino in my life.
Gambling is a mugs game!!
Several of the regulars in my local are addicted to gambling. One lost £500 on a football score a couple of weeks ago. I know someone who won £80,000 on the lottery. He gambled away most of it.
The bottom line is gambling is addictive. This useless government allowed gambling to be advertised on TV. This is one of the biggest mistakes ever. The effects will last for years. Young people who aren't old enough to gamble now will think 'Gambling is ok. It's advertised on TV'
I would never date a gambler. It can be as addictive as drugs or alcohol . | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:22:03 AM | Same as any addiction this consumes the person and everything and everyone in thier life are only a means to help them satisy that craving.
Be prepared to be robbbed cheated and scammed or leave any addict alone. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:48:47 AM | I had a friend who was addicted to scratch cards,she spent hundreds of pounds every week on them, I visited her home once and her Kitchen floor and the bottom of her slippers was covered in tha Grey/Silver stuff you scratch off.
It was so bad she had to even buy a loaf of bread on her credit card, it eventually cost her her home and her marriage.Nuff said really. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:51:46 AM | | I have a friend who has spent over 80k this year alone on gambling he cant help himself. Hes up to his eyes in debt has remortaged his flat twice and his cars about to be repossessed. If someone developed a gambling prob while i was with them i'd try and stand by them but if i knew they were in this mess beforehand i wouldnt touch them with a bargepole. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:36:02 PM | Met a young guy who was only 28 a while ago and his parents had bailed him out of gambling debts twice to the tune of £48k, thats a lots of debt at that age and I guess never able to repay it.
Was involved with someone who gambled and its not for me.....you usually find gambling and lying go hand in hand. Sometimes you have to say goodbye and walk away. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:43:34 PM | | I could never date an addict of any kind ...it'd be like having a third person/entity in the relationship! | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:50:55 PM | I wasn't sure about posting on this topic but decided to take a bit of a gamble.
I do think that these arcade establishments should be better regulated and policed.
They are often owned by very dodgy characters who only care about how much money they make.
At least most reputable bookies do make an effort to tell punters to stop if there
on a serious losing streak and will even refuse to take their money and do try their best.
So a big up to the bookies and maybe something more needs to be done to regulate these arcades.
This woman shouldn't have been allowed to spend all day losing over three grand at that place.
Couldn't someone have called The old Bill? | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:52:51 PM | LankyGit - Gam-Anon is the group set up for relatives and friends of gamblers in the UK. Gamblers Anonymous is the group set up for gamblers themselves.
I have had first hand experience of compulsive gambling and the compulsive gambler cannot be helped unless they are willing to help themselves. Once they are ready to admit they have a problem then they have a chance to turn their life around.
As you may have guessed my first hand experience was my own problem with gambling. I attend Gamblers Anonymous every week and my last gamble was on the 26.11.01.
Compulsive gambling goes hand-in-hand with lying. Since stopping gambling I have been the treasurer, volunteer on the helpline, and prison liaison officer for my group and region. There are steps I take every day to ensure I do not place a bet. I do not buy a daily paper which would contain racing pages. I never watch racing on television. I avoid gambling establishments aside from last Friday when I went into both a casino and a bookies to get a new member self excluded. I am also honest with my employees who know I attend gamblers anonymous even though I have a responsible job.
I appreciate the comments on here and would recommend anybody to leave a compulsive gamblers who is not ready to give it up. I hope potential partners will accept my problem and the steps I take to deal with it on a daily basis.
If anyone wants advice on compulsive gambling then please mail me and I will do my best to help.
Thanks
Rob | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:59:16 PM | I work in a bookies and have watched people just keep going and going untill they have nothing.
We do have leaflets and posters up about addiction and the help available.
In our shop you can ban yourself , quite often (it happened last week actually) a punter will ask to be banned , so they fill a form in and thats it !! banned!! The drawback ..where there is one bookies there is always another close by !! | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:03:23 PM | The drawback ..where there is one bookies there is always another close by !!
you're not kidding! there are 6 along the main street here, in a space of about 500ft, 2 arcades and endless pubs also full of fruit machines. Add in the lottery and scratch card sellers and its pretty much every other establishment
Edit: V V V something only makes you undateable when it takes control of your life, whether it be gambling, drink or drugs. When it takes priority over family or paying the bills, when lying becomes a way of life.
I've been to a casino once, on holiday years ago. I also took a set amount but actually came away better off than I went in. It didn't make me want to do it all the time but it was a great night out. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:04:32 PM | I love visiting the casino,
Its a good night out, if i go i have a set ammount and keep to it, i prob spend less there than most people spend going to a nightclub ect.
i only a few times a year,
for my 40th i was lucky enough to go to las vegas which actually cost less than going to cornwall for a week, it was fab !!
Its like drink ect you just have to stay in control and if you cant then leave it alone.
im not an addict i just enjoy it !!!!!
dose this make me undateable ??????? | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:08:26 PM | Message 14  for your honesty and openness.
Too often only one side of a 'problem' is seen on the forums, so well done you for stepping forward. But as you say, you have to admit it is a problem first before you can do anything about it, and that applies to many things IMO.
Keep up the positive attitude 
 | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:20:01 PM |
The reason I have put up this thread is my Niece works in an amusement arcade/sunbed establishment and just called to say they have had a lady there all day and she has spend in the region of £3,000 on gambling machines today,
Ok first off, there is no way that that woman would've been allowed to spend £3ooo in one day, in an amusement arcade.
Reason i know is because im a trained Arcade Attendant/Bookie.
I worked for 7 yrs in an amusement arcade, and spent my time between there and the boss's bookies next door.
In both establishments, the policy was, to ring the boss on his mobile if a customer wanted to bet more than 1500, either on a bet, or on a days spending at the fruit/roulette machines.
The boss would then appear, once he got wind of the news, and he would always class the customer as suspicious, and more than often the customer was money laundering!
After a customer spent, and lost this amount (1500), they were asked to leave the premises, and return the next day.
Under NO circumstances, was this customer allowed to be served again in that day.
Now maybe in the UK things are different, and im not one to argue, but in almost any case in the arcade, the machines that the big spending customer is playing is turned off, and not switched on again until it is checked by one of the technicians!
seems she has over 30 missed calls on her mobile from her husband who has finally tracked her down and is now on his way there.
Another thing is......employees are not to discuss the going ons of customers with their mama, papas, brothers, boyfriends/fcuk buddies, dogs, cats, or anyone else living on this god holy earth.......what other folk do with their money is no business of anyone else, and if i knew who your niece was, id report her, and thats the gods honest truth.
How in the name of mary did your niece know she had 30 missed calls from her husband?
Seems she is a regular there and does spend quite a lot of money on these machines, so I expect he knows about her addiction,unless she hides it like some addicts can and do.
Am i seeing things here............where the flip would she get £3000 that she can hide from her husband?
Your niece seems to me to be nothing but a gossip loving individual, either that or yor a bit of a story teller, cos to me that whole story reeks of cat poo!!! | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:35:53 PM |
Ok first off, there is no way that that woman would've been allowed to spend £3ooo in one day, in an amusement arcade.
Reason i know is because im a trained Arcade Attendant/Bookie.
But not in the UK so its irrelevant really
In both establishments, the policy was, to ring the boss on his mobile if a customer wanted to bet more than 1500, either on a bet, or on a days spending at the fruit/roulette machines.
Obviously arcade is completely different in the UK to wherever it is your from. Here, an arcade is just fruit machines, normally staffed by one cashier and probably a guy out back to come and kick the machines when someone's 50p gets stuck.
Now maybe in the UK things are different, and im not one to argue, but in almost any case in the arcade, the machines that the big spending customer is playing is turned off, and not switched on again until it is checked by one of the technicians!
Why? If someone loses 1500 on one fruit machine, why would it need to be checked?
if i knew who your niece was, id report her, and thats the gods honest truth.
on what basis? she hasn't named the woman or even said which area she lives in? I don't see the problem
where the flip would she get £3000 that she can hide from her husband?
loan? pawning stuff? selling stuff from the house? lying and stealing becomes natural to a gambling addict | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:40:51 PM | There is nothing doubtful about the OP at all! It would require bad luck and constant playing, but losing £3000 is certainly possible. As to where the woman got the money and was able to conceal from her husband. None of us know. However a large number of thefts from employers are to fund gambling habits. I've read about it on many occasions in both the local and national press. We can only speculate.
And no, arcades are not 'policed' at all. I know someone that used to be an attendant in one of these arcades in a rundown seaside resort (Gavin and Stacey land). He was encouraged to befriend the punters, not keep a check on their spending.
The number of posts on here indicate just what a problem gambling is. Gambling might not destroy their health like drink and drugs, but it is addictive and it destroys lives. Gambling is insidious. A partner can tell when someone is constantly drunk or high, but not when a person has blown hundreds on a bet. They find out when the bills go unpaid and the bailiiffs come knocking. | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:54:28 PM |
But not in the UK so its irrelevant really
Any establishment worth its weight, will ALWAYS question the customer, irrelevant of the country!!!
In my arcade, for example a lot of the customers were chinese, and always played the roullette, so it raised a lot of suspicions, they always played in 50's and were not allowed to spend more than 1500,!
Obviously arcade is completely different in the UK to wherever it is your from. Here, an arcade is just fruit machines, normally staffed by one cashier and probably a guy out back to come and kick the machines when someone's 50p gets stuck.
Fook me, i thought you lived in the ukraine there for a sec, til i re-read and it said the UK................and heres me thinking that Ireland was 30 yrs behind the UK, not the other way round.
Dunno what establishments you've been visiting lately, cos that only happened in the 80's in Ireland.............we did actually become a bit more upmarket than that, thank you very much!!!
Why? If someone loses 1500 on one fruit machine, why would it need to be checked?
Nobody loses 1500 on a machine, without some kind of payout, so if they do, there needs to be an incident inquiry as to how it happened, because if you dont already know, mahines are programmed to payout after so much has been thrown in to it, and in most cases its 350.
on what basis? she hasn't named the woman or even said which area she lives in? I don't see the problem
She rang her Aunty, told her of the going ons of the arcade...........which is supposed to be entirely confidential.........and most authentic arcades will always have a proper notice displaying, that your custom is of the strictet confidentiality!!!!!!
Thats the PROBLEM!!!
loan? pawning stuff? selling stuff from the house? lying and stealing becomes natural to a gambling addict
C'mon now.......if your husband robbed yor 50 inch plasma, or your sons playstation..........wouldnt you know it was gone???
£3000 doesnt automatically fall in your lap now does it?? | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 4:05:25 PM | I would avoid someone like that at all costs...rather like i avoid smokers an folk who seem to think their best friend is in the bottom of a wine glass.
If folk want to press the self destruct button then let em get on with it... | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:26:48 PM | I gambled quite a lot in my younger days, I used to get my wages and blow the lot in a day! It even got so bad, I started to steal from one of my employers. It was a fish and chip restaurant, they used to have those metal rack change givers attached to the tills. We never used to lock them in the safe at night, just kept them in a cupboard full up underneath it. There was empty flats above the restaurant, also owned by the establishment. I figured out, that I could fit my hand through the letter box at the top of the fire escape and get into the restuarant this way.
I stole £100's of pounds over quite a while, thought I was clever and onto a winner! Until I was spotted doing this. The owner gave me an option, admit I stole from him or he would call in the police. I admitted it was me, and he sacked me on the spot leaving it at that. He never asked for the cash back, just told me to get out of his sight. I actually think that was the turning point, him shaming me like that had hit home. I could see what it had done to me, I didn't want to be known as a common thief ending up in prison. Sometimes, I think we all need a kick in the teeth to face reality.  | |
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| Gambling addiction
Posted: 10/1/2009 9:03:08 PM | So stretch armstrong, we're supposed to suspend belief and imagine that you were able to raid the coffers of your fish and chip shop employers by somehow alighting upon them through the ceiling of the flat above..well it seems it goes without saying that if you are a gambling addict nothing could stop you from getting the funds needed to indulge yourself hahaha - nice story 
The owner gave me an option, admit I stole from him or he would call in the police. I admitted it was me, and he sacked me on the spot leaving it at that. He never asked for the cash back, just told me to get out of his sight. I actually think that was the turning point, him shaming me like that had hit home. I could see what it had done to me, I didn't want to be known as a common thief ending up in prison. Sometimes, I think we all need a kick in the teeth to face reality.
oh yes, being kicked into touch by a sympathetic employer is so great!!
Did he give you a good reference when he sent you on your way as well?
I wouldn't date a gambler myself, who could respect someone who plays a fool's game? | |
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