| So You Get A Note...
Posted: 10/2/2009 12:00:09 PM | A buddy was telling me about something he did earlier this morning, and it's kind of stuck in my head ever since; on the whole commute to work, and through the first half of my work day. I couldn't imagine how someone might react to this, and I'm not even sure I could do something like this myself, but here's the scenario:
He takes transit to work, and there's this girl he's noticed; she gets off his bus as he's getting on it, so they have less than a few seconds of interaction. He's interested, but there's no chance to talk, so this morning he apparently gave her a note introducing himself, explaining why he was doing it through a note, expressing his interest, etc.
My question is this: what would be your reaction to something like this? Creepy? Cheesy? Middle-school infantile? Do you respond or just throw it away? I can't imagine men would have something like this happen to them, but then again, it takes all kinds. I'm really curious how something like this would be taken. I told my buddy I was putting this up here, and he's (in the midst of waiting to hear back from her, apparently) curious to hear what others would think about this too. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 12:04:48 PM | If I weren't interested, I'd give him a note back thanking him and saying I wasn't interested. If I were interested, I'd give him a note back with contact information.
I'd consider it a compliment, either way, and would appreciate a guy who had the creativity and moxie to do that. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 12:11:18 PM | | I have given a guy my business card with a brief note expressing interest written on the back. I guess a note would suffice if one doesn't have business cards but, yeah, it does sound kinda school-yardish. Maybe if he included a single flower, just a fresh-picked daisy. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 12:11:50 PM | It would have to be well written, for it to be well received by me.
But if it was done nicely--- I would pass back contact info.
oh-- if I was single :-) | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 12:18:20 PM | I would have to have noticed him first and maybe made some eye contact with him, smiled, something, for this to work at all.
And I would have to be single and looking.
Chances are, your friend is now going to have to ride to work feeling embarrassed because she's not interested or available, and now she's a little creeped out.
Edit: I also agree with Tracyannk. VVVVVV | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 12:21:35 PM | | Although I'd take it as a compliment, I would have to wonder why a grown man would resort to such middle school behavior. I'd much rather him be a man and come up to me in person. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 12:24:16 PM | | I will never understand why people do this sort of thing. The only possible thing that this man based his interest on is her looks. He literally knows nothing about her, sexual orientation, marital status, prison record or not, mental state, nothing. Absolutely nothing to indicate any kind of compatibility. No doubt if she doesnt reply in the way he wants, chances are she will become the stuck up **** on the bus. And some people cant figure out why they arent sucessful in getting a relationship... | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 12:25:36 PM | | There was a post similar to this on another forum but the scenario was a drive-thru window. I think it's creepy and lazy. Passing notes with names and phone numbers is very junior high type behavior. It reminds me of the fellas on here that send an initial email and include their phone number and a message to call them. Who in the world wants to cold call a perfect stranger? Men like that are wimps and want to put all of the effort of making the initial approach on the woman. Tell your friend he should have made the effort to stay on the bus a few days and start up a conversation with this women before he started passing notes. If it turns out she is involved or not interested, she's probably going to be very uncomfortable the next time their paths cross. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 12:55:08 PM |
I can't imagine men would have something like this happen to them,
Really?
I was walking out of a place once and a voice said "hey" .. I turned and a woman tossed me a pack of matches. I don't smoke.. I opened it and it said "give me a call" with a name and phone number.
Ask me if it worked? | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 1:46:20 PM | No thanks. I wouldn't even take possession of it, much less bother to read it.
He's interested, but there's no chance to talk If he's never spoken to her, what makes him so interested? | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 1:50:45 PM | I would be more uncomfortable by a note than just having a pleasant stranger say hello.
Now, if she is not interested she will probably avoid his bus like a one way ride on the river Styx. He's basically complicated her life. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 2:09:25 PM | | Really, it's going to depend upon (1) one's preconceived notion of the other person; and (2) what the note said. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 2:23:25 PM |
Really, it's going to depend upon (1) one's preconceived notion of the other person; and (2) what the note said.
Exactly. If I found the man attractive and had been wishing we had a chance to talk, myself, and the note were well-written and fun to read, I would find this charmingly, goofily romantic and would call him.
If he did not appeal to me and I had been wondering why that creepy guy was always eyeballing me, I might not even read it.
If somewhere in the middle, I'd be inclined to take a chance and call if I liked the note, and especially if it were funny, but not if the note were badly written or expressed something distasteful to me. Then I'd start seeking alternate routes to work. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 2:25:59 PM |
My question is this: what would be your reaction to something like this?
I'd find it interesting and unique...not creepy, cheesy or infantile.
Do you respond or just throw it away?
Respond.
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Posted: 10/2/2009 2:56:31 PM | If your not hot there is no combination of words that will keep her from throwing that note away.
Well maybe, "Hi I'm rich" | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 3:14:07 PM | I would be intrigued... Notes are sweet and show pre-thought
I don't understand how you could see this as creepy.. if a guy came upto you and started to breath down your neck or say dirty things to you, thats creepy.. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 3:23:30 PM |
I would be more uncomfortable by a note than just having a pleasant stranger say hello.
I'd rather get a note than have a stranger, however pleasant, try to engage me in conversation during my commute to/from work. I'm also more of a fan of email and MSN chat than phone chat when talking to someone I don't know well. It's my inner introvert coming out. 
If he's never spoken to her, what makes him so interested?
Obviously, he's attracted to her because of her appearance. Not really particularly unusual - most of us are attracted (or not) by someone's appearance, which prompts us to talk to them to find out more! It's been working that way for pretty much ever, except in those places where women are completely hidden and/or parents arrange the marriages. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 3:30:13 PM | | If someone I never spoke to and probably never even noticed gave me a note like that, I might take it as a compliment. Obviously the only reason he is interested in her is because of her looks. If she's ok with that (and is attracted to him) then it could work. Cuz all she can go by are his looks. Kind of a risky thing to do considering he doesn't know her relationship status or ANYTHING else about her! | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 3:32:38 PM |
The only possible thing that this man based his interest on is her looks. He literally knows nothing about her, sexual orientation, marital status, prison record or not, mental state, nothing. Absolutely nothing to indicate any kind of compatibility.
I would say 90% of the time in the real world it is someone's appearance that gets our initial attention. Now it might not just be their looks; maybe she is rocking a cool t-shirt with a fun slogan, carrying a book by Bukowski or Poe, a funky pair of Doc Martins spray painted purple or a yoga mat. Right there I have gather something about her possible interests that I like besides her looks. | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 4:05:10 PM |
^^^ guys really notice that stuff?!?!
It's not that we want to, but we can't just caveman it and say "You pretty. You come with me on date. Ug." I mean, that would be ideal for myself, that's what I WANT to do.
But I know damn well that doesn't work.
I don't know what women need. So, might as well "take interest" in her and "notice things about her". And I definitely don't trust her to make a move, that might be a freak of nature.
http://xkcd.com/642/ | |
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Posted: 10/2/2009 4:05:41 PM |
^^^ guys really notice that stuff?!?!
I can't speak for all guys but I do. I more than notice it, I look for it. Of course it is rather hard not to notice a pair of purple Doc Martens. | |
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