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 MiketheZombie
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 1
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but truePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Have you ever met that one person that uses their kid as an excuse? I've grown up with plenty of single parents between my own mom and my sisters going through it. It's easy to recognize someone who doesn't put their kids first. Have you ever run into anyone that uses their kid as a floating excuse?

I've met at least one girl that uses her kids as an excuse to play disappearing act while she was serial dating/leading on like 5 guys at once. She didn't think anyone would notice she was ditching her kids on her mom's doorstep every time she wanted to go out.


Yeah, we notice that stuff, ladies.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 2
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 1:24:20 AM
How do you know its an excuse? Do youn ask for a note from the pediatrician.?
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 3
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 3:05:10 AM
No, but I've met plenty of people who claim it's their "Baby Mama's" fault they don't see their kids.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 4
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:09:54 AM

I've met at least one girl that uses her kids as an excuse to play disappearing act while she was serial dating/leading on like 5 guys at once. She didn't think anyone would notice she was ditching her kids on her mom's doorstep every time she wanted to go out.


Yeah, we notice that stuff, ladies


So perhaps she is shallow....did you ever hear the one it takes one to know one? Or birds of a feather flock together?

So instead of complaining why not use the easier statement.

NEXT! there is no shortage of woman in the seas.......maybe the problem is you like looking at too much eye candy and miss the substance that some have to offer? Eye candy will always have that sense doing whatever they please as guys fall over themselves ....that is until the bloom of youth wears off and all they have left is their personality and that is can we say???? barren! have a beer and figure you just saved yourself a pile of grief and a pile of money if you had the misfortune of having married that person.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 5
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People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:21:58 AM
"I've met at least one girl that uses her kids as an excuse to play disappearing act while she was serial dating/leading on like 5 guys at once."

So what's her number? She sound like way more fun then you.
 InNCsearching
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 6
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 6:20:05 AM
there is nothing wrong with a woman teaching a child that he's not the whole universe if she meets the right person and sometimes adults need time (one of my big pet peeves with single moms is they are so used to spending 100% of their time with their children they create an unrealistic world for the child that they are the center of the unviverse...it creates selfish and narcisssistic children) but i also don't like women who always put their kids last because they can't cope with being alone or whatever. there's a balance just like in a regular family. lots have problems with both. not all...lots though
 ~Kyn~
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 7
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:20:36 AM
Have you ever met that one person that uses their kid as an excuse?
uses their kid as a floating excuse?

An excuse? an excuse for what?
Whats a floating excuse?


Somebody translate "floating excuse" into English for me

I've met at least one girl that uses her kids as an excuse to play disappearing act while she was serial dating/leading on like 5 guys at once.

Dude that doesnt make any sense whatsoever.

Doesnt make any sense that she's using the "kids" as an excuse to "disappear".

If she didnt have kids... she'd still be dating 5 guys and "disappearing"

What the hell are you talking about?

She didn't think anyone would notice she was ditching her kids on her mom's doorstep every time she wanted to go out.

Aha! so this is the real issue?

Some gal was seeing 5 guys (you were one of them OP?) or is this an ex of yours and you dont approve of what she's doin by seeing other men and offloading the kids on her mum?

Cant offer you an opinion sorry... you've not said how often she's going out.
She might go out once a week for a couple of hours... which doesnt seem too unreasonable to me at all... she might go once a week, stay out all night and not come home for 2 days. I have nfi.

As for the fact she's seeing 5 guys
Well... personally I wouldnt cos I dont multiple date... however over there dont you have to be "exclusive" before there's any type of rules of conduct applied to dating and consideration and respect for other people?

Cant she by not being "exclusive" or had the offer of being "exclusive" made to her by one of those 5 males... do whatever the hell she wants with whoever she likes?
If one of those 5 men "stepped up"... she probably wouldnt be doing it at all.

Guess it sucks being on the receiving end of that type of behavior.
Probably sucks for her that outta 5 guys... none of them will do the right thing by her.

Maybe you should go post a thread about guys that dont do the right thing by single mums... or maybe one against multiple dating.
*shrugs*
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 8
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:37:43 AM

She didn't think anyone would notice she was ditching her kids on her mom's doorstep every time she wanted to go out.


How do u know where she was dropping the kids off at? Stalker much?
 CaRo78
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 9
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:39:17 AM
I have to say i used my daughter as an excuse once, to dump a guy. He was really creepy, and to be honest scared me a bit, so after we had our third date, and his creepiness showed, i told him that as my daughter was changing schools i didnt think it was the right time for starting something...... i wanted to tell him something that he couldnt argue.....

Yes i know its wrong, but his creepiness worried me, and i didnt want the spanish inquisition about 'why isnt there chemistry?' 'why dont you think it will work out between us?' which is what i though would follow, as this guy was already starting to show signs of dependency.

i would lie to guys and use my kids as an excuse to serial date, im normally an upfront and honest person, but this was the one occasion i wasnt!
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 10
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:41:28 AM

there is nothing wrong with a woman teaching a child that he's not the whole universe if she meets the right person and sometimes adults need time (one of my big pet peeves with single moms is they are so used to spending 100% of their time with their children they create an unrealistic world for the child that they are the center of the unviverse...it creates selfish and narcisssistic children) but i also don't like women who always put their kids last because they can't cope with being alone or whatever. there's a balance just like in a regular family. lots have problems with both. not all...lots though


Totally agree with this statement. Perhaps that is what is wrong with the younger generation who feel so entitled.......but of course, we all know what lepers single moms are so if you really feel this way....date single moms.

OT - It takes all kinds OP. I don't know any women who do this...if I did, I can tell you they would not be someone I have a lot of respect for....selfish, self-centred people are not people I want to know.

Like another poster, I have met many males who claim they aren't involved with their children because of the mothers...in some cases I am sure it is true but it seems like these are the same males who don't contribute a dime to their children....when I meet them, I just say "Next..."
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 11
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 1:10:45 PM
OP they are not all like that, there are many here on POF and in the real world who truly deserve a break away from their kids who are at times draining their life away with the day to day responsibilities of raising those kids.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 12
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People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 2:30:43 PM
Have you ever met that one person that uses their kid as an excuse?
uses their kid as a floating excuse?

An excuse? an excuse for what?
Whats a floating excuse?


Somebody translate "floating excuse" into English for me


I think he's saying that when they want to get out of something they use the kids as an excuse. Hey, I have. If I don't feel like going to help someone or don't feel like going somewhere, it's easy to say " I can't cause I have the kids and no sitter today". Who cares, an excuse is an excuse, some work better than others. The kids almost always works, until someone says " so just bring them". lol , oh damn now what.

anyway I think a floating excuse in his terms is one thats used all the time
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 13
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 2:44:26 PM
Never dated a woman, so can't say as I had woman give me this excuse, but I have met a couple men that didn't know how to balance their time. I won't say they were making excuses so much as weren't ready to date.

I think if a woman says she can't do something because of her kids and you think she isn't telling you the truth, ask her about it, don't whine on here about it.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 14
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People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/3/2009 2:55:54 PM
If she had said I can't go out tonight because I have another date, would you have dumped her? You did say that you were exclusive. So she used another excuse, so she wouldn't lose you.
 Ladybugg25
Joined: 9/27/2009
Msg: 15
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People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/4/2009 6:09:14 PM
Never once have i used my kid's as an excuse if and when i go on date's i let them know up front if i can't find a sitter no date but sadly some do i have seen it over and over again a friend of mind well ex friend would set up a date and then the day of the date she'd call him and say her child was ill and he was perfectly healthy
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 16
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People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:24:23 PM
The fact is you can only pull in so many favors for babysitting so you are going to use your chances sparingly and only when the man is worthy of a second or third date. If she says she cannot get a sitter she is either telling the complete truth or would rather not risk using the favor for someone that she is not so keen about.
 meagan0609
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 17
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:22:27 PM

The fact is you can only pull in so many favors for babysitting so you are going to use your chances sparingly and only when the man is worthy of a second or third date. If she says she cannot get a sitter she is either telling the complete truth or would rather not risk using the favor for someone that she is not so keen about.


This is so true.. You can only pull so many favors. If he is worthy of a second or third date he will wait around for his chance... It was appartent to me a couple of times when I told someone that I didn't have a babysitter on certain weekends and well I don't have her every other weekend. They weren't willing to wait until the next weekend.. and I knew he wasn't worth it.

I don't get to spend much time with my daughter because I work full time, go to school full time, and then I come home and its bed time. I try and spend every waking moment with her and save my dating for when she is asleep or she is at her dads house. I try not to drop my daughter off anywhere but it happens. I do have a life.. and sometimes I have to call in reinforcements. Which is not a horrible thing.

You say she was dating 5 or so men, but did you really see those 5 men? Stalker? lol I did have this happen to me with a guy on POF. He dated five other girls seriously... its not that big of a deal if you all know its nothing serious.. they know that you know that there are other people involved.. if you don't the its time to get ! Like I did..

But seriously you can't judge all women because this one woman does this..
 jla1982
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 18
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:07:34 PM
I use it if I don't want to go somewhere. I also use the homework excuse since I'm in school. THough its not really an "excuse"... I do have a lot of homework... lol... Especially since I am half way through my training (Well, will be Monday) and I will be on President's List. Which means I have a 4.0 GPA. That "excuse" will get "used" more the second half... I plan on being on it again for the ENTIRE program! Anyway, I digress... (Too excited... :D)
Sometimes its an excuse, sometimes its not... The last few days, my son's dad's stepfather has been getting him off the bus cuz we've been out at the time he gets off the bus... Its just been an insane week... You just have to know her schedule and what's going on in her life...
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 19
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People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/8/2009 4:50:36 AM

there is nothing wrong with a woman teaching a child that he's not the whole universe if she meets the right person and sometimes adults need time (one of my big pet peeves with single moms is they are so used to spending 100% of their time with their children they create an unrealistic world for the child that they are the center of the unviverse...it creates selfish and narcisssistic children) but i also don't like women who always put their kids last because they can't cope with being alone or whatever. there's a balance just like in a regular family. lots have problems with both. not all...lots though

No different than the weekend dad who totally clears his schedule so he is spending 100% of his time with his kids, like that is normal when they should be out playing with friends, then there is the non-custodial parent, male or female, that is a parent when it is convenient or not at all.

To me, this is just another weeding tool. One of the first guys I spoke with on this site is still here and instead of having his daughter visit, he indicated that because he had the one bedroom there was no room for her. He had a couch but I guess only a real parent would give up his bed to spend time with his kid.

I do think it is funny my kids have started using me as an excuse. When my middle son doesn't feel like doing something with his friends, he comes into my room with the phone to ask if he can go or if I will drive him and mouths to me say no, say no.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 20
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/8/2009 4:51:16 AM
20 bucks says that you weren't whining about this woman "dumping" her kids off on other people when she was doing it for you.
 P.R.Handgrenade69
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 21
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:43:36 AM
@ OP from Braintree, Massachussetts:

Are you for real? Or are you that one of the five guys that is dating the girl or the sixth one that she didn't want hanging around so you thought to stalk her?

P.S.: You don't have any kids so what do you care? You would probably be doing the same thing if they were left to you as part of visitation on the weekends and you wanted to date the girl that is serial dating. Yeah, dude, we notice those things, too!
 TAKEN fab-mom
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 22
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People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:41:17 AM
I used my kid for an excuse all the time. An excuse not to date losers.

Ex: "oH I'm sorry...I won't be able to go on that date (stalker) because little Susie has a nasty cough"
 luvable36
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 23
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/8/2009 2:56:16 PM
I have always wondered about that, lol..... I am a woman with triplet daughters and have only dated 2 guys from off this site and would never have to use my children as an excuse for anything such as which you have spoken of. Im sure others may though and wonder if guys do the same thing on here also. I have talked to one recently and he is always saying that he has his son or that they are getting ready to go ride bikes, etc. etc. etc. In which we cant seem to figure out a time in which to meet and have dinner together. And then after we have chatted on the phone or by text I will jump on POF and see him right on here when he says hes doing something with his son.... That is the one thing I do not like about this site, you start writing and talking to someone and they seem very interested but then you see them on here all the time of course playing the field I guess you would say.... Of course I realize its a dating site but and I find myself talking with my favorites on here too, lol but makes you feel kind of second best. But yes the answer to your question or your statement is yes, Im sure women and men both alike do use their children for and excuse to get out of something in which all they have to do is be a mature adult and just be truthful about what their feelings are without doing it in a rude way or trying to play the field.
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 24
People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/8/2009 3:14:14 PM
Yep, I use my son as an excuse.

An excuse to play with toys, that is, LOL. I can be in the store and set things off and claim it was for him when really it's for my own amusement, haha.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 25
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People that use their kids as excuses... sad but true
Posted: 10/8/2009 3:46:32 PM
lol, I love turning on every toy in the toy dept. and don't care if I'm being watched. lol
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