| | is he a womanizer?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I've been dating a man since mid May of this year. We have been spending an enormous amount of time with each other. However, I've been feeling uncomfortable with some of his comments and behavior. For one, he has mentioned more than once about liking women a lot. Also, anytime he mentions an event in the past it always envolves a woman. Even when we talk about me, he relates how some of his exgirlfriends were just like that or what one of his exgirlfriends did. It's almost like he hasn't done anything in life that didn't envolve a woman.
I even get the feeling if he could he would date someone even younger than me. Only problem, as he puts it, is that he's gotten older and cant find anyone prettier than me. I'm only 12 years younger than he is but I look so much younger that, I think he gets off on that too. I almost feel like he's just in it for sex, but for that fact that sometimes we just hang out together.
I think he is looking for a long term relationship but I'm afraid of being with someone who just wants a pretty girlfriend. Also I'm worried about wasting my time with someone who will not be able to fall in love with me. Is it once a womanizer, always a womanizer? Am I making too much of this? | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 2:26:01 AM | | Sounds like to me that he is a man who needs to start enjoying your company and getting to know you for you instead of comparing you to others or finding any excuse to mention his previous conquests. I think this guy is up himself and is only interested in bedding as many pretty women as he can then bloat about it, i tdon't think he can love anyone but himself and any woman he dates is just an accessory. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 2:30:58 AM | | From what you've told us it's pretty hard to come to any real conclusion whether he is or not, looks like you'll just have to play it by ear /wing it until you figure it out or you finally feel uncomfortable enough to change something. I can say I wouldn't want to be in a long term , or marraige with someone I didn't feel that their heart was in it | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 2:31:51 AM | | Wow.. this guy's good. Wish I had a father figure like him when growing up. | |
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rune3
| | Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 5 | |
| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 2:54:37 AM | When he is referring to these women, you will be able to gauge a lot from his attitude: does he respect them as people or refer to them as one might some kind of accessory or symbol pointing towards his prowess?
I think it's important to take careful note of your own feelings. When you evaluate, evaluate the relationship/dynamic, not the man -- your feeling uncomfortable is a point of concern. I would look to see whether he generally shows concern about your feelings or not -- when one cares genuinely about another person, as a person and not merely an accessory or plaything, the response to their less convenient emotions is quite different. The information will be available to you -- you just need to avoid being influenced by your own hopes and fears into seeing or not seeing that information for what it is. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 3:54:07 AM |
I even get the feeling if he could he would date someone even younger than me. Only problem, as he puts it, is that he's gotten older and cant find anyone prettier than me.
What a complete and utter tool.
You know what? Some men just never evolve. This guy is 52 years old, he's not some dumbass teenager who has yet to learn that the world doesn't revolve around HIM and his penis. I've met imbeciles like this and I actually pity them for being so pathetic.
This jerk is already doing a number on your self-esteem - I can tell just by your original post. If you stay with him, he'll continue to make you doubt yourself and you'll eventually feel that you just aren't good enough.
Aim higher. Please. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:28:23 AM |
You know what? Some men just never evolve. This guy is 52 years old, he's not some dumbass teenager who has yet to learn that the world doesn't revolve around HIM and his penis. I've met imbeciles like this and I actually pity them for being so pathetic.
JerseyGirl2008,
Stop "sugar coating" everything. Tell us how you really feel! | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:34:12 AM | You know what? Some men just never evolve. This guy is 52 years old, he's not some dumbass teenager who has yet to learn that the world doesn't revolve around HIM and his penis. I've met imbeciles like this and I actually pity them for being so pathetic.
This jerk is already doing a number on your self-esteem - I can tell just by your original post. If you stay with him, he'll continue to make you doubt yourself and you'll eventually feel that you just aren't good enough.
Aim higher. Please. This is how I read it too. I knew someone like this when I was about your age. He actually keep a record of all his girlfriends, a few photo albums. Not sexy pictures or anything, just lots of photos with him and his girlfriends. And he keep a box full of letters from them. They were all relationships, but one after another, and all much younger. He reminded me of that book , "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why." Basically, this guy is making you feel inadequate by comparing you to other women all the time. As JerseyGirl says, he is doing a number on your self esteem. What I believe is that if it doesn't feel right, it isn't right. If I were in a relationship that made me question myself or wonder if the man really cares about me, I would let it go. I know the difference between feeling loved and wondering if I am loved, and feeling loved, knowing you are loved and valued is way, way better. The sooner you drop this guy, the sooner you can find someone who truly values you. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:37:56 AM | I don't think this guy is a womaniser. He is probably not into you why he doesn't have any respect for your feelings about this.
You either put up with it or dump him...your call. | |
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PeggyI
| | Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10 | |
| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:43:30 AM | I think he is a clueless clod. Everything is all about him.
Have you ever told him you don't like the constant references to old girlfriends? | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:45:29 AM | When I'm in a relationship, I generally try to avoid women that feel like they're "settling" for me.
If they wish they could date someone more handsome/young/muscular/rich/short/tall/smart/dumb.... they should stop wasting their time on me and make that dream happen for them.
My question is, do you really believe that's his attitude, or is it possible he just attempted to describe something normal and it just came out wrong?
Nobody's perfect, and we typically always have this perfect ideal mate...that naturally leads to -some- settling, even in a fantastic relationship. In that fantastic relationship, though, neither party -feels- like they're settling because, well, it's a fantastic relationship. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:51:55 AM | OP, if you can't figure out if he is or if he isn't...then what are you losing out on?
If you wanted a guy who dating someone his own age, if you wanted a guy who treated you like you were the only woman who mattered, if you wanted a guy who didn't need you to be his eye candy, if you wanted someone who showed they were in love...then you'd be with these guys.
Instead, you are with...this one. He does "it" for you. | |
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Selima
| | Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 13 | |
| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:55:00 AM |
If you wanted a guy who dating someone his own age, if you wanted a guy who treated you like you were the only woman who mattered, if you wanted a guy who didn't need you to be his eye candy, if you wanted someone who showed they were in love...then you'd be with these guys.
Instead, you are with...this one. He does "it" for you. .  True, true. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:02:17 AM | OP,
For what you describe, I believe he is not good material for LTR. He is possibly immature, insecure and gets a kick out of repeating and repeating about a woman here and another one there. That is also tacky and of bad taste.
Yes, you are awfully young for him, and he should be thankful that you like to be with him.
If he is sending the subtle message that you are kind of the best he can get.....for now- is in his mind. He comes across as he is shallow and self centered as well.
I would dump him right now and start looking for someone that deserves you genuinely.
dont forget what is not good when new, will not get better when old. Like is a broom doesn't sweep good when brand new........its will be useless when old.
I think you feel he is not good for you....then he is NOT good for you. Now you need to act on it.
Best wishes to you. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:15:25 AM |
Only problem, as he puts it, is that he's gotten older and cant find anyone prettier than me.
holy smokes what a thing to say to a person.
I would if i could.
You think he just wants a pretty girl friend...he pretty much said it.
Are you comfortable with that?
If it sounds ugly may be it is. | |
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Selima
| | Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 16 | |
| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:22:39 AM |
.... he has mentioned more than once about liking women a lot.... anytime he mentions an event in the past it always envolves a woman. Even when we talk about me, he relates how some of his exgirlfriends were just like that or what one of his exgirlfriends did.... as he puts it, is that he's gotten older and cant find anyone prettier than me. I'm only 12 years younger than he is but I look so much younger that, I think he gets off on that too. I almost feel like he's just in it for sex...someone who just wants a pretty girlfriend. I'm worried about wasting my time with someone who will not be able to fall in love with me. ... Am I making too much of this?
Why do you like this man? What does he have to offer you? What makes him so appealing? Are you in love with him? He sounds awful. This is a guy who measures his own value by having young, pretty girlfriends. Probably no woman is ever good enough; he will always be on the lookout for someone who is prettier and/or younger. I think anyone is wasting their time if they are with someone who does not return their feelings. I don't think you are making too much of this. I think he is not capable of loving anyone other than himself. If you want someone who loves you, find someone else. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:26:18 AM | My God, OP....this man openly states that as he's gotten older he can't find anyone prettier than you???? What a douche nozzle!!!!!! 
Like JerseyGirl said....Aim higher and move on. Don't let that tool bag trash your self esteem. Nothing worse than a dried up old fart thinking he's God's gift to women.
AJ | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:34:12 AM |
is he a womanizer?
Nope...not a womanizer but an insecure douche bag.
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:11:58 AM | | It sounds like you have alot to offer the right person. Reality is, he is not looking for a long term relationship, but a flavor or the month! Kick him to the curb. If you chose to keep hanging in there, your self worth with keep going down and it will take years to rebuild it!! Close the door and accept it - learn from it, making it not a mistake, but a lesson. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:31:51 AM | | OP, have you discussed this with him? How did he respond? | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:59:45 AM | It's nice to be compared and catagorized.
As a woman I love it. I like to feel like I am one of many. It takes the pressure off.
You know, who wants to feel "special", any way?
Sheesh OP, read the writting on the wall, or in this case, the forum. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:08:11 AM | For one, you’re still here claiming to be single and looking for Long Term even though your profile indicates that you see someone. He likely knows you’re still here. Get the hell out of here if you’re serious about him and ask him about his intentions.
Is he also still on here? If so, you’re both in the same boat. This is online dating after all. No one can focus. What if someone better come along? | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:46:01 AM |
as he puts it, is that he's gotten older and cant find anyone prettier than me
Charming.
I think he is looking for a long term relationship but…
IMO, that's a pretty big but to have, considering you've been dating since May and are sleeping together. Are you saying you've never discussed intentions or the nature of your relationship? | |
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aaamm
| | Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 24 | |
| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:49:15 AM |
I'm only 12 years younger than he is but I look so much younger that As you don't post your photo, I will assume you look older and you made a typo that you actually, at 40, are more immature than you should be. IE only you can decide if you dig being with him or not, we don't know him. | |
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| is he a womanizer?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:53:53 AM | Tis merely to create an illusion of his manly maness and his popularity and appeal to the whole of the women species, and to reinforce via the means of reverse nuttyness how lucky you are to be in the presence of such a gentleman - given that according to his rationale the whole of woman kind clearly lusts after him as he seeks to work his way through one and all.
Tis one thing to cite the odd example. Its quite another to rub someone face in it of frolics partaken in days gone past, whilst of course never ruling out any future ones.
Merely construct a time machine and send him back to the distant past of barely evolved monkey men folk. | |
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