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 fivetilmid1
Joined: 9/25/2009
Msg: 1
Does this make me a cougar?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I was called a cougar today by a friend of mine. Here is the scenario.

I was at a sports bar playing trivia after getting stood up. After playing for about 1 1/2 hours a man came over and asked my name. He then introduced himself. I asked him to sit down and we talked for over an hour and laughed freely. I was very comfortable. Never once did he talk about sex or anything taboo. Anyway, right when I was getting ready to leave I asked him how old he was (I would have guessed early-mid 30's). He told me 27. It caught me off guard needless to say. He acted much older and seemed very mature and grounded. He was there with his softball team and had noticed me when I first walked in. He let them all leave before he came over. Neither of us had any alcohol. Im 39 almost 40. We have talked several times since and are planning on going out Wednesday. But now I feel funny because of what my friend said. What will people think if we start dating and should it matter? I told my friend about him and how we shared alot of common interests and she made me feel insecure with that one comment. I have never dated younger men than me so Im a little worried now.
 cuban delite
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 2
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:41:22 PM
LOL....people will think(if they even notice)...............GOOD ON YOU!!
If you get along ,who really cares what others think....life is all about experiences, so enjoy them as they come up... ;-)
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 3
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:46:05 PM
Not all, especially seeing that you share a common sense of maturity. I think a cougar is an older gal who deliberately chases after younger guys for their youth even if they aren't equals...
 oceaneyess
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 4
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:48:14 PM
I say go for it if you find that you have a lot in common. Some younger men have old souls and can be very mature. I know, I dated a 29 year old when I was 43. We were very happy and we were inseparable for 10 months. We stopped seeing each other, mainly because he wanted a child and I was done with that. but we are still friends.

Follow your heart. Take things slow and have fun.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 5
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:49:26 PM
The term "cougar" is meant to describe a predatory relationship.

Who cares what people think.

Really.
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 6
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:51:00 PM
^^^^^ thats exactly what I think a cougar is....the older woman that chases the younger men.
In this case he aproached you and like they say...WHO CARES.....they can call it what they want, all that matters is what you two think and how you get along.

Obviously he didn't care about the age....so that's already a plus.

Just remeber there are always people trying to put a negative label on a new couple...ignore that if it happens.

Best wishes
 corgi 2
Joined: 9/25/2009
Msg: 7
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:54:23 PM
couger smooger



 Lovinlifeat44
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 8
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:00:11 PM
I say "GO FOR IT!" Who cares what anyone else thinks?

Send me his brother, please.
 Kennedy3
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 9
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:02:12 PM
im sure your friend was teasing. how fun that you met this guy and had a great time on the same night you were stood up. chalk it up to fate. the definition of cougar varies but it doesnt matter. younger guys use it as a compliment. go out wednesday and have fun! i checked out your profile. your horse is spectacular!
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 10
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:19:14 PM
Oh no, you are a Puma until you hit the 40's. You're safe

Unless you are buying him and trying to sleep with him, you aren't doing anything that anyone should condemn you for. Enjoy yourself! That is what dating is supposed to be about. You are lucky you were stood up!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 11
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:20:09 PM
Nope. Cougars hunt, and don't care about much else but age. If the prey walks up to you and starts talking, you're good.
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 12
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:33:34 PM
C O U G A R
Definately...but who cares...
 actualizing
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 13
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:46:03 PM
Just lie about your and his age to please other....who cares? No, you are not a cougar....I am. LOL...not! My guy is only three years younger than me....cougars pounce and you certainly did not pounce; and neither did he...it sounds so very civilized to me. Good luck!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:47:36 PM

He let them all leave before he came over.


I don't get this part, was he not wanting his friends to see him talking to you or were his friends rowdy and he waited until the immaturity table left?

I wouldn't go there but I don't think you need my permission if you like him date him, but keep in mind that it is a big age difference in that he may be heading toward a wife and kids and you may be heading out of that sort of thing...not saying you are, just that it's the type of thing to think about if you are thinking anything more serious than a good fun.

Also, if your pictures on your profile are recent, and not touched up, I doubt anyone will think he is younger than you, you look 27.
 tarotdream
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 15
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:49:34 PM
That is not your friend.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 16
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:07:31 PM
You are definately not a cougar, but I might call you a p****y if you let your friends comment get in the way of meeting your date on Wednesday.

I was going to ask you if you are new to POF, but I answered my own question when I looked at when you joined. The younger guys liking the more experienced and mature women is nothing new.

Have fun!
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 17
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:19:20 PM
You look young. I think his interest is as genuine as any other man. Only time will tell...as with all men.

It definatley doesn't hurt to date him and get to know him. The friend is just jealous!
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 18
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:31:22 PM
I didn't think "cougar" until I checked out your profile. "Age between 25 and 45". If you're going to be a cougar, don't be a wimp - be proud. (and I'll laugh at you behind your back just like I do the guys, but don't let it bug you).
 wild1-1
Joined: 9/5/2009
Msg: 19
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:34:56 PM
Don't have expectations it will ruin ya time with this guy. Go have fun, 4 that is what you gonna get with him and nothing more - seriously.
 Hearttune
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 20
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:56:28 PM
I didn't think "cougar" until I checked out your profile. "Age between 25 and 45". If you're going to be a cougar, don't be a wimp - be proud. (and I'll laugh at you behind your back just like I do the guys, but don't let it bug you).


That's exactly what I thought. LOL Let's see...39 almost 40 woman advertising for men as low as 25, 14-15 years younger than her, whereas the upper parameter is 5-6 years older than her. I bet she gets tons of responses by younger men, and is tickled and flattered by them.

There's nothing wrong with this in the least to me. But cut with the "gee whiz, look what happened to me..." act, as if she wasn't attracted to the idea of a much younger man.
 sleeping beauty
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 21
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:56:49 PM
12 year difference does not make you a cougar. its been customary and acceptable for men to date younger women. absolutely no reason why we can't do the same. male priviledge is dead!

15 - 20 years younger is a little more difficult since you have less in common, but some folk pull it off just fine.
 ~Kyn~
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 22
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 11:04:54 PM
Does this make me a cougar?

Sorry Im disagreein with the entire thread.
Seen it happen... had it happen to me.

What makes you think... you're not his prey?

Im 41 years old... and everyone's different... but there's certain boundaries I wont cross.
I know I look younger... same as you OP... but... I dont care.
Anyone Im within a few yrs of possibly being at the age of being their parent... Nup.
Even a 35 yr old Id raise an eyebrow at... especially knowing they've not done the things I have ie. marriage, divorce, children.

I went out one night... met up with some guy... we hooked up & had a fabulous time at the club.
He looked about 30... lighting.
Come to find out... he was only 18
Sorry but I aint "going there" in the exact same way as a 27 yr old. I dont care how nice he is.
And Id be pretty f*cken disgusted if some 39 yr old woman was messing around with my 27 yr old son... sorry... but I would.
And I'll tell ya now... a 39 yr old man making a play for my 27 yr old daughter... my ex would have his balls in a vice

NO man at 18 or 27 has anything on a 40 plus man... his life experience... even if the kid shows me some fun. I can get that off any "man" who wants to show me a good time
And I think I have onus in that... as the "elder" in the scenario.

Id prefer to be emotionally mature enough to deal with a fully developed grown man's "issues" in my age group rather than turn away from what is perfectly normal at that stage in their life ... than stroke my ego with a boy's d*ck.
I seem to have the uncanny ability albeit obviously old fashioned in comparison to the responses here... to see the person behind sexuality.

My friend a few weeks ago (she's 48) f*cked a 29 yr old guy.

He came over after all his friends had left too.
Was all over her... made her feel real special.
He doesnt give a shit about her... hasnt phoned her since... she was the only available pu$$y on the night and he zero'd in on her.
Just like many other men would so atleast thats not age discrimanatory.

She told me later on... she doesnt know why she does that (sleep around... 5 guys in 2 months...3 of them were "kids") and gets involved with people she knows isnt gonna go anywhere...
She's unavailable.. uses them for sex when she's feeling sad and lonely but is bottom line scared of a proper relationship... and truth be told... cant actually get one with a guy her age... and blows off these events and makes jokes... cos it "makes" her look and feel like she's something special in the meantime.
She told me herself... she hates herself for it cos she knows exactly what it is even through all the bravado

Anywho... both of them had "issues"... her AND him.

Atleast she's honest though...

Guess you'll only find out as you get to know him and his friends and family... whether he's just got a thing for old chicks and some kinda sexually fantasy or mummy issues... or you.

Everyone's entitled to an opinion... so... there's mine.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 23
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:46:33 AM
If a guy can do it why can't we? I think women can be their own worse enemies.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 24
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:26:55 AM
My definition of a cougar would be an older woman who repeatedly and intentionally seeks out younger men.

I can only speak for my own preferences and say I probably wouldn't consider dating anyone more than a few years younger than me. The last guy I was seeing was 7 years younger than me, and although we seemed to mesh pretty good at first, after awhile the age and maturity difference really started to become apparent. Every individual is different though, so good luck.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 25
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:16:38 AM
the age range on your profile is from 25 to 45 he is within that ...yep cougar but who cares ...just dont whisper and point the next time you see a older guy with a young woman ...me thinks we should call dirty old men ..something else something as un offensive as cougar ...say maybe bob cat ...i mean a cougar is a beautiful graceful animal ..or we can just call you a dirty old woman ...you make the call just be fair
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