| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 5:08:18 AM | | Hello fellow fishies, I was hoping you could help me out with a sticky situation. I recieved a lovely reed diffuser air freshener thingie for my birthday from a friend (not a particularly close friend either). Problem is, it's a scent I'm allergic to. Any way to tactfully call her up and ask where she got it so I can return it or something? Or should I just let it collect dust unopened in the closet until I can re-gift it? Or what? | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 5:11:37 AM | Is it one of those things where u can switch the refill container to a different scent? If so do that. Refills are usually pretty cheap.
If not, just tell her u are allergic to the scent and would like to know where she got it from so u can buy one with a scent u are not allergic to. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:29:10 AM | Christmas is coming up... I'm sure you'll figure out someone that would enjoy receiving this... I say hold on to it and regift since it's not a 'particularly close friend' and therefore the gift doesn't have the 'sentimental' value that something from a close friend would...
Tis the season and all that...  | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:54:49 AM | Just chuck it out, or "re-gift" it.
Asking the friend where she got it so you can return it, would likely be too much of a hassle, and potentially cause hurt feelings. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:58:58 AM | | If I bought something for someone and they were allergic to it, I wouldn't be hurt if they asked me where I got it from so they could exchange it. I could understand if something was a health hazard to someone. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:48:22 AM | What a dilemma! I suppose you could do exactly what you've already proposed here... tactfully call her up and ask her where she got it so you could EXCHANGE the exact same gift for another scent that's more suitable to you.
However, you should be aware that by doing so you run the risk of embarrassing her if she, like you, is also a re-gifter... and has passed along a gift she received from someone else as a gift for you. If that's the case, she... just like you... may not have any idea where the item was originally purchased.
Ah, the karmic law of re-gifting... what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive... gotta love it! 
Now don't get me wrong... I don't think for one minute that any of us should be stuck with gifts that don't work for us. When it happens to me, I am quick to pass those things along to other people who I think might make better use of them. But I never pass them off as "gifts". I am always clear that I received something that doesn't work me for and tell my friends that they are welcome to it if they want it. I do that as a regular course of friendship and never pretend that my unwanted item is something I purchased especially for them for a special occasion. I think that's just good stewardship. There's a big difference between the motivations of being charitable and regifting... and karma is how that all gets sorted out.
So if this particular gift doesn't work for you, by all means, do give it away. But please, just not in the guise of a gift. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:19:27 AM | I did a search on these things and what I found is that there are several different kinds...none very expensive...and all have other scents.
If this isn't a mountain out of a mole hill...I don't know what is.
It's not worth hurt feelings, ingratitude or especially a long distance phone call.
Give it to a homeless person to spruce up his Whirlpool box. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:50:41 AM | | Well, obviously you do not have the reciept, so at this point returning it is a dubious thing already. I say re-gift. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:09:57 AM | | Call her up, tell her you loved it but because of your allergic reaction you wound up in the emergency room on the brink of death, and so you want to offer to return it to her with your apology for not having been able to enjoy it as much as she intended, and mention that you were deeply touched by her perceptive attention which showed in her selection of that gift over the much lesser one you would have been merely satisfied to get, and tell her what that other gift would be, and how much it costs, and where to buy it because her guilt will need an outlet at that point. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:23:26 AM |
It's not worth hurt feelings, ingratitude or especially a long distance phone call.
I agree. You lived w/o this gift before and can live w/o it or one with another scent. Why possibly hurt someone's feelings. With gifts, it is and truly should be the thought that counts. Give it to someone who will enjoy it. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:43:01 AM | Here's a possibility:
You write her a note:
"Thank you again for the diffuser--it's such a pretty bottle!
Turns out I'm allergic to the scent, but I'm not giving up--I want to
find another scent and put it in my (fill in which room).
Again, thank you for your thoughtfulness."
Isn't that easy? | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:46:34 AM |
If I bought something for someone and they were allergic to it, I wouldn't be hurt if they asked me where I got it from so they could exchange it. I wouldn't be hurt either if it was me.
But some people would be. Some people are overly sensitive to these sorts of things.
Unless you're almost totally certain that the gift giver wouldn't be hurt by this, why risk it? The OP's obviously not totally certain about how her gift-giver would re-act, or she wouldn't have started the thread. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:59:52 AM |
The OP's obviously not totally certain about how her gift-giver would re-act, or she wouldn't have started the thread. Exactly... no sense potentially alienating someone over a gift... and the value isn't so extravagant that it needs to be returned... | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:00:51 PM |
"Thank you again for the diffuser--it's such a pretty bottle!
Turns out I'm allergic to the scent, but I'm not giving up--I want to
find another scent and put it in my (fill in which room).
Again, thank you for your thoughtfulness."
I do not see any reason at all to to tell the gift giver that you are allergic to that particular scent.
"Thank you again for the diffuser--it's such a pretty bottle!
There are several other scents available and I can't wait to try them. I love it.
Again, thank you for your thoughtfulness."
The above assumes that you can replace the aroma producing fluid.
Elliott | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:11:34 PM | Well, of course you don't see any reason to inform the giver of an allergic reaction.
I, on the other hand, wouldn't want her to follow up by giving me ANOTHER gift with that same scent, because I didn't tell her I was allergic in the first place.
It's a waste of money for her, and frustrating for the receiver.
And, of course you can replace the aroma--that's the point. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:45:12 PM | Just to inform everyone. I too have perfume/cologne allergy. I am not allergic to all just a few colognes/perfumes.
When I come across one that I am allergic to I have a really bad reaction.
The person that gave her the gift is not a close friend, she probably sees her once in a blue moon, therefor I see no reason to make a big deal out of it.
Especially if the scents can be changed.
Martin | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 6:13:12 PM | Give it to someone who actually wants it. That is, donate it to a charity store. Easy, problem solved. You'll be helping out the less fortunate, who can buy it cheaper than store bought. And obviously the store's profits benefit a truly charitable cause, the same can't be said for offloading it to a friend who might want it.
If the buyer discovers an allergic reaction afterward, it can be tossed it, it wasn't worth much anyway. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 6:38:43 PM | no brainer.
You accept graciously then buy a scent you can tolerate, regift or donate it.
You DO NOT take it any further with the gifter. That would be gauche. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:58:59 PM | | hi... seeing as the person is not a close friend I do not think that the phone call is appropriate in this case... giving it to someone who will enjoy it is exactly what the gift was meant to do... going out to buy one just like it in a scent that you can tolerate will be good karma, esp if that distant friend ever becomes a close one and comes to your home... blessings | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:12:40 PM | I don't see how your 'friend' will be offended if you let them know that you are allergic and will not be able to use the lovely gift and would like to return it to her.
Leave it to them to figure it out .... let it be. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:02:37 AM | here's a tought...give it back and tell them you're allergic to scents....
AND tell them there is no need for them to get you anything to replace that gift.
Thanks very much for the though...that was the nicest part...and cuz you're not freaking 7 years old, and really dont need a gift! | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:35:44 AM |
here's a tought...give it back and tell them you're allergic to scents....
AND tell them there is no need for them to get you anything to replace that gift.
Thanks very much for the though...that was the nicest part...and cuz you're not freaking 7 years old, and really dont need a gift!
I'll tell you honestly what I would tell a 'not real close friend' that calls me about the eight to fifteen dollar gift I got them.
"Bring the friggin' thing by and I'll give you the eight bucks". Better yet...take a video of you destroying it...put it up on YouTube...and I'll mail you the money. All less effort than exchanging or returning. On a good day...I'll shake my head and say to self..."are you kidding me". Talk about buying a truckload of bullsh1t for eight bucks. The following year...expect nothing except another "head shake" when it reminds me.
I could see if this was like a remote car starter and I needed a different model to match my car. I don't have friends like that so I'm getting mine put in Thursday...it's already getting cold in God's Country.
Thank the person for the gift.
Put it up on ebay if you can't throw it or stow it.
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:50:09 AM | A pretty high percentage of gifts are miss rather than hit. It's of no consequence unless the person is close to you and wants to be getting it right. In most cases, like this one, simply thank the person, hold onto the item for a while, then either regift, ebay or donate to a charity. More people should give chocolate -- no-one expects you to still have it after a period of time and it's highly regiftable, if not the kind that you like.
An air freshener as a gift could be considered rather offensive - a not-so-veiled insult? I think she made the first faux pas, but don't get to competing on that one. | |
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| Returning a gift?
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:55:16 AM | I can't imagine giving someone I don't know very well something that says, "I don't like the way your home smells. Here's something to make it smell like something more preferable to me.". Now that I think of it, I'm wondering if this person is selling those things - like Avon people or something? Maybe giving them away to try to drum up interest in them so when people ask where they got them: "Oh! I sell those!!"
If I'm not mistaken, this is little more than a jar with scented oil, a cap/plug and some dried out sticks, right? It's like $1.50 worth of materials someone hobbled together and sold for 10-20 times their cost. Toss it out if you're allergic. That's what I do with the stuff I'm allergic to. And that's exactly the reason I give for doing so. As someone else said, otherwise you may end up getting the next one in the series next year. | |
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