| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:43:25 PM | | ok i started seeing a teacher at my kids daycare bout 4 weeks ago in those weekends we went to another teachers bon fire 1 at her house and out to the bar this past friday night and all 3 times she has been plastered. I like to go to the bar drink and have a good time but she takes it way too far for me infact i at 1 point i told her her if she drank anymore then i would walk home and leave her there. what should i do about this and fri night when we was leaving the bar she used the "L" word | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:47:46 PM | | Sounds like you found a nice alcoholic, might I suggest running as if you were Usain Bolt......... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:51:33 PM | | If she is an alcoholic, it's out of your hands. I used to be a heavy drinker years ago and nothing would stop me from having another drink. I've also had alcoholic g/f 's and told them they had to slow down or leave, guess what they said bye. Getting serious with this ones a mistake, I hate to say. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:59:37 PM | If you were driving, it could just be that she took advantage of not having to drive. When I think of plastered, I think of more than 8-10 drinks. A true alcoholic will require much more than 'a few' to become plastered. If she became plastered after only a few, its more likely she didn't eat much, and/or is not really a heavy drinker to begin with. Now if she drank 10-12, I'd worry. I would somehow question her to determine if she normally drinks that much, every weekend. I'm guessing she's around your age, so that wouldn't surprise me.
HR  | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:00:12 PM | Well, it seems you have yourself in quite a pickle there OP. It behooves me to think what might happen in the future. I have only one suggestion.
RRRRRUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:05:38 PM | | well fri night i drove her truck. cause her and the other teachers were playin cards at the daycare before the bar and thats where she got drunk in like 2-3 hours | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:06:21 PM | Ya know, if shes small and she hasn't had breakfast, it's just biology.
I have a 2 drink limit.
Is she ready to leave when she's full? | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:07:00 PM | Now that I think about it some more. How many drinks did she have? If shes not a drinker and was just having so much fun with you and not paying attention to how much she had drank, she may have had too much before she realized it. again, How much did she drink? And in how long a time period?
Oh, and does she do this every weekend? | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:08:27 PM | | Just gotta find out why she drinks... Dont give up just yet... If she really likes you. She will slow down for you.. If not move on.. All i can say to you... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:13:53 PM | | ...and you are going to leave your kid at that daycare while you run? If you run you should put your child in another care. I have dumped a girlfriend once when I suspected her of drinking too much and she did not stop when I asked and offered coffee instead. But it is especially sad when kids are exposed. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:24:51 PM | Wow! This post and the responses are shocking to me...
From what I gather from your post, you have been dating 4 weeks and she has gotten drunk 3 times. Yes, I'll admit that is a bit much. HOWEVER - this is happening on the weekend while out with friends - not everyday, alone or on a week night or anything. She's out, she's having a good time and she's had a few. I would hardly say that this makes her an alcoholic.
Why not just invite her out on the weekend to an event that does not involve alcohol? Just sounds to me like she is trying to bring you to a few parties and show you a good time...
Then, OP, your own profile says that you drink 3+ times per week. Really? I would consider this MUCH more risky behaviour in terms of alcoholism.
I dunno... I kind of think something else is going on here. Is she passing out? Is she ill and expecting you to take care of her? Did the "L" word just freak you out?? I'm not buying that this is the whole story. And I don't get the people who are telling you to run. I'm not much of a drinker myself, but that's kinda crazy to me... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:26:26 PM | OMG ......
"If she really likes you, she will slow down for you"
My last LTR was not drinking when we were dating. Great guy. He told me he was an alcholic, and I thought he was joking. Seriously!! A major actor. As soon as he moved in with me, he started drinking openly, and he actually drank everything in site, even MOUTHWASH! After three months, I had no idea who I was, let alone who he was. I had the police remove him (drunk of course) . No one could believe what I went thru, even my best friends who visited a couple of times a week.
Within two months he had met some one else. She was such a nice person. He ended up beating her to a pulp, in a drunken rage. (No he never laid a hand on me) She lived thru it, but was hospitalized for months. He was put in prison for 3 years. And in Canada, it has to be bad to get three years!!
Get to hell away until she has HER PROBLEM dealt with, and stay away at least for a few years. Run Forest Run!! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:26:56 PM |
what should i do about this and fri night when we was leaving the bar she used the "L" word
Loser? | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:41:05 PM |
ok i started seeing a teacher at my kids daycare bout 4 weeks ago in those weekends we went to another teachers bon fire 1 at her house and out to the bar this past friday night and all 3 times she has been plastered. I like to go to the bar drink and have a good time but she takes it way too far for me infact i at 1 point i told her her if she drank anymore then i would walk home and leave her there. what should i do about this and fri night when we was leaving the bar she used the "L" word
who doesn't say the "L" word after having a few.......
cut her some slack she's a teacher. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:45:23 PM | Softandhappy...your naivete is showing! There is nothing here for him to "fix". This girl is showing signs of an addiction that only she can change.
OP...I agree with all the others who told you to cut your losses and move along... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:53:14 PM | Softandhappy...your naivete is showing! There is nothing here for him to "fix". This girl is showing signs of an addiction that only she can change.
I respectfully disagree.
10 signs of Alcohol abuse...
1. Drinking alone -- Nope, she's with friends
2. Making excuses, finding excuses to drink -- Nope. She's at a bar (a drinking place) and bon fires (parties). It situationally appropriate/acceptable to be drinking.
3. Daily or frequent drinking needed to function -- Nope.
4. Inability to reduce or stop alcohol intake -- Nope. No evidence of this
5. Violent episodes associated with drinking -- Nope
6. Drinking secretly -- Nope
7. Becoming angry when confronted about drinking -- Nope
8. Poor eating habits --Dunno. Not enough info
9. Failure to care for physical appearance -- Doubt it if he's into her
10. Trembling in the morning -- Didn't say anything about this
Based on what the OP posted, I am really not seeing any warning signs for alcoholism. At all. I don't know where you all are getting this frankly.
Edited to say:
They go the opposite way and say getting intoxicated even ONCE is considered having a problem with alcohol.
This is crazy talk. So... someone who gets drunk once a year at a xmas party has "a problem with alcohol"?? LOL! Yeah, okay. Everyone I know has "a problem with alcohol" then.
An addict is a person who does not deal with the daily problems of life...they abuse their substance of choice because they cannot deal with life.
Agreed. Daily or even a few times a week is an issue. Not being able to deal without a drink is an issue. But I am not seeing this. This is not a daily problem...
I have also known a number of alcoholics. Now, maybe there is more to the story... but from what the OP said, I am not seeing this. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:00:40 PM | I think you may be "softandhappy" because you have not lived with an alcoholic! Not sure where you got your info but it conflicts greatly with any DUI education testing I have heard about. They go the opposite way and say getting intoxicated even ONCE is considered having a problem with alcohol.
I was married to an alcoholic for over 20 years. Anyone who gets that drunk that often has a problem. You may be OK with it...I would NOT be. I run from anyone who shows signs of any addiction. An addict is a person who does not deal with the daily problems of life...they abuse their substance of choice because they cannot deal with life. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:04:23 PM | A drunk for a day care teacher. Nice.
If you stop seeing her, take your kids with you.
I can't believe you'd knowingly leave your kids in the care of a drunk. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:09:26 PM | Adventurousme57 - sooo true what you say .... "An addict is a person who does not deal with the daily problems of life...they abuse their substance of choice because they cannot deal with life."
And nice, that they even have to drink at the day care!! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:46:11 PM | "10 signs of Alcohol abuse..."
Granted, some more evidence would be nice, although I do not think we need an even set of ten.
Ad 1)
Scratch this from a detection list for alcoholism. By definition nobody else is there, so alcoholics would go scot free on this criterion. Do you think they stop drinking in a group? No, they are hiding in plain sight then.
Ad 2)
Those weekend activities sound like good excuses to me.
Ad 3)
Frequent is in the eye of the beholder. I may have had three drinks in the last four weeks. She was plastered three times (according to the OP).
Ad 4)
The OP had to threaten to leave. That sounds like at least reluctance to stop.
Ad 5)
Not all alcoholics are violent.
Ad 6)
See 1)
Ad 7)
My son's great-grandmother was so drunk that I called 911. I was fuming since she babysat. Yet she was calm when I dialed 911 after offering her to take a breathalyzer test (which she refused). I was the only angry person during all that and had no alcohol myself for days as I drink rarely. She was drunk as a lord.
Ad 8) and 9)
Agree
Ad 10)
See 1). We weren't there.
I'd say she shows a few signs out of those that matter and which we can check. Plus, if you just started dating someone, would you want to be drunk three out of four weekends in front of him/her? And we don't even know whether the OP saw her on the fourth weekend. Maybe she is drunk every weekend... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:02:28 PM |
A true alcoholic will require much more than 'a few' to become plastered
That is sooooooo not true. I have known alcoholics who pretty much get drunk from sniffing the caps. Granted they will keep on drinking and drinking but many alcoholics I have known will be full out drunk after 5 or 6 beers. Granted there are some who need a lot to get drunk but it is not the case for all alcoholics. Most I have known don't drink as much as I used to drink when I drank but they do drink more often. And get just as annoying 
Whether she is an alcoholic or not wouldn't even enter my mind. There is a good chance that she can function but she still likes to get drunk to the point where she is annoying quite often. If this were something that happens once a year it wouldn't be that bad but I wouldn't want to have to deal with an annoying drunk even once a month. | |
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