| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:01:24 PM | | Im sure someone has started a thread like this at one time or another....If a person invites you for a coffee or some bevy's dont you think they should pay the bill?....I met someone here on Pof a couple of weeks ago at a pub and my drinks only came to $9.00....When the tab came I threw down 20 bucks on the table and HE TOOK IT!!! Then he walks me to my truck and invites me back to his place for sex!!! I was so turned off by this point said NO got in my truck and went home....He messaged me the next day wanting to get together again and I said politely and to the point No because #1 you were to cheap to pay my tab and plus my intentions of meeting him was not for sex.....Gawd whats wrong with people???? | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:08:10 PM | I always offer to pay. It's not like it's some large amount of money.
When I go out drinking, I usually pay my friends' tabs too. No biggie.
That being said, if I happen to have a coupon, I will use it. | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:35:19 PM | | Easier said then done in that situation....There was hesitation and I felt awkward so of course Im going to pull money out of my wallet...Thats when he should have stepped in and said no I'm paying for it.... | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:39:48 PM | What if he had pulled out a 20$, wouldn't you have accepted that he paid? Oh no, of course the man should always pay. If it was such a low amount of money, as you said, what's the biggy?
Now, if you weren't into sex at that point, that is entirely your choice of course.
Women, they want equality but only where THEY win | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:43:20 PM | Everyone is different with what they are comfortable with. I always come prepared to pay my way, and usually say simply, "I will take care of mine." If they make a fuss, I will back down so there are no hard feelings, and it's usually just coffee :) It's supposed to be fun, so I don't sweat the little things. An official date is different, and if I wanted to go out for dinner, I would ask and pay  ... or let them if they ask
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:47:25 PM | Personally, I don't mind picking up the occasional bill, but I prefer to let the girl I am seeing help take the responsibility. Usually I will say, "Would you like to split this now, or I can get it this time, and you can next?"
That actually can be a good indicator of if there will be a next time...hahaha. | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:36:03 AM | If "I " do the inviting I do the paying... thats just me, If a gentleman asks me out,I expect him to pay...if he does'nt then thats the last date he gets with me.I do.nt care if it sounds old fashioned,I do have my male friends in to a gourmet meal/movie in return. There is nothing 50/50 in a male female relationship ever....sometimes 75/25 sometimes not...everyone has their own ideas, I personally have a very rigid idea of what masculinity is as well as femininity....so to each their own but I completly agree with you hazulleyes, not my kind of man either. | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:37:42 AM |
Yes. Men should pay and women should put out. It is only fair.
Seems like a win/win situation for the woman here; as if she just suffers through the putting out part, lmfao... Doesn't sound fair at all but it's only a date thing I guess.
I would feel pretty uncomfortable if I didn't get to pay but I also find it wrong that a woman should expect me to pay. I would have turned down your money and paid OP but it definitely was a nice gesture of you to offer at least.
I would definitely be turned off by a woman who would never offer to pay her share. | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:39:10 AM |
Yes.Men should pay and women should put out.It is only fair. Too bad these are no longer posted on profiles - I'd be real popular tonight I'm thinking. 
omg roffl lmfao..too funny.. ..i'm with you ..
if i was out with someone in the first place..
i would hope she was putting out at some point..that would be one of the big reasons..
for being there in the first place..not necessarily the only reason..but in the top 5 ..lol..
and the rest is just minor details.. no one should get a free ride every time..
on either side.. ..other wise you start to feel used..
how ever you end up working it out is between you and them..your business..
debra2008 you are popular tonight..and every night..;)
ps..OP: did you get your change back? if not that's real bad..
but like one of the other poster's said..and i agree..don't pull it out unless you intend to use it.. lol | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:18:29 AM |
Im sure someone has started a thread like this at one time or another....If a person invites you for a coffee or some bevy's dont you think they should pay the bill?
Call me naive, but the person who does the inviting should pay unless arranged otherwise.
....I met someone here on Pof a couple of weeks ago at a pub and my drinks only came to $9.00....When the tab came I threw down 20 bucks on the table and HE TOOK IT!!!
Wait, did he take it and still leave you to pay the bill, or did he take it and pay the combined bill?
Then he walks me to my truck and invites me back to his place for sex!!! I was so turned off by this point said NO got in my truck and went home....He messaged me the next day wanting to get together again and I said politely and to the point No because #1 you were to cheap to pay my tab and plus my intentions of meeting him was not for sex.....Gawd whats wrong with people????
Were your intentions clear before arranging the date or on the date? Did he see the " Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter" part of your profile? Do guys regularly ignore that? | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 5:05:03 AM | Usually it's the guy who asks me out after a phone conversation or two. Occasionally we grab coffee & go for a walk in the park 'cause I don't particularly like sitting in a crowded coffee shop & trying to get to know each other with the distraction of the noise & conversation of others around, not very private either. I'm also a touchy/feely person & find that when I can sit or walk close to him so there is some form of touch exchanged during the conversation, it makes for a more successful & comfortable date.
Quite often the guy will ask me out for dinner. I always pull out my wallet & say, "Here, let me share that bill with you". If the guy refuses to let me chip in, I will offer to leave the tip. I always make sure I have a variety of small change so if the guy accepts my offer to share the bill, I will put down enough to cover half the bill plus the tip for my half. If it's just coffee & pastries, usually the guy will insist on paying but I occasionally pay for his & mine, especially if he's made an effort to drive across town for the date.
Having said that, it does rub me the wrong way just a tad if a guy accepts my offer to share the bill. I'm still a little traditional in that I respect a guy who will insist on paying the bill & view him as a real gentleman. If I'm dating or in a relationship with a guy who always pay when we go out, I will make efforts to cook for him, bring over a bottle of wine or find other (non-sexual) ways to treat him with unexpected gifts to show my appreciation for him always paying. Once we're dating exclusively, I will share the dating expenses unless the guy refuses to accept. | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:01:15 PM | Sounds like a guy whos mama never taught him the rules of dating. For the assumption of wanting to go and have a romp afterwards tells me that he thought he was all that and more in his mind anyway. lol
OP. A romp right about now sounds MMMM delightful  | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:41:21 PM |
Hmm whats wrong with me ? I PAY and PUT OUT.......
That would just be awkward a guy would feel like he was being bought
All kidding aside when the amount is so little a guy should just pay. If it was a dinner maybe he pays the dinner she catches the movie.
Otherwise a guy could go broke dating. | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:49:51 PM | To pay or not to pay...my belief is always kick in either your full share, or at least some. Unless of course he makes far more money than me, and insists on paying all. Like Mobile said, a guy, or girl, could go broke dating, if only one side is always on the paying end. I still believe in equality, to a degree, and try to think of the other persons possible expenses.
As for sex on the first meeting....not for me. But, then again, what 2 consenting adults do, is totally up to them. Sometimes I guess the dinner and drinks, might lead straight to "desert"! | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:03:10 PM | After a lengthy get-to-know each other conversation over the phone ...
He: Be nice to meet you one of these days.
She: Cool, so when did you want to meet up? I have this day & this day free this week.
He: I'm free on this day so we can meet up then if you like. Did you have a specific place you'd like to meet?
She: Yeah, my place, my bed, 8 pm. (This is what he was hoping to hear. )
She: Doesn't matter, you decide.
He: Doesn't matter to me either so you tell me.
She: No seriously, it doesn't matter to me 'cause I'm cool with meeting anywhere.
He: Well, I just want you to be comfortable so tell me where you'd like to meet.
She: I am comfortable with any place you choose ... seriously.
He: Ok then, so why don't you show up at my place, my bed, 8 pm. Here's my address.
She: Awesome, I'll be there. Just make sure you put on a pot of coffee so if anyone asks, we can honestly say our first date was a coffee date.
He: Good point! Btw, your share of coffee will be $1.25 per cup unless you want me to whip up a fancy coffee which will be $4.00 ... but bring a little extra just in case you want a muffin or donut too.
She: No problem 'cause I believe in sharing the cost of a first date.
He: So then you wouldn't mind splitting the cost of the condoms either?
So who was the inviter & who was the invitee on this date? | |
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| To pay or not to pay?? Or to have sex on first meeting??
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:11:02 PM | This is funny and simple for me
… If I ask someone out … I pay … no put out necessary in the least.
… If someone asks me out … I don’t mind paying small bill either
Only if I know there is mutual attraction and desire … will I get into the story :)
hehehe | |
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