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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:24:03 AM | I'm a professional creative writer plus I've composed several research papers on personals so you'd think I'd know what I'm doing, but after almost 3 years of nearly daily activity on POF with only a handful of responses, one phone call and zero meetings to show for it, I guess it's about time to admit I have a problem. I have attempted just about every profile type known to man at some point or another, from minimalist 2-3 sentence versions (obviously completely not my style) to extremely verbose versions filled with flowery, witty language.
The most "successful" one was just a humorous listing of all the crazy things that have happened to me in my life. Though that led to half of the first contacts I've ever had on this site, they were all just of the congratulatory "cool profile" nature and I couldn't get a dialogue going with any of them, because that's apparently really the only reason they contacted me: to congratulate me.
My current one still has a few elements of that one, but is much more conventional in style with more of a current events approach. Admittedly it has somewhat devolved into a celebration of film festivals, but that is seriously almost all I've been doing in my "spare time" the past several months. Anyway, let me have it (as a writer with a stack of about a thousand rejection letters in my desk, I can probably take it). PS I do realize it could be more of a physical attributes thing but there's not much I can do about that. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:42:14 AM |
...after almost 3 years of nearly daily activity on POF with only a handful of responses, one phone call and zero meetings to show for it, I guess it's about time to admit I have a problem. You are an excellent writer and you seem to have a lot going on in your life. I'm wondering what problems you have had meeting women in real life? Do you have a problem with your social skills or is there some other problem you haven't talked about? | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:11:52 PM | I meet plenty of women in "real life," just not very many that are interested in dating me. Personally I think my bad experiences with both POF and real life stem from the same issues, primarily because POF is about as much like "real life" as any personals service on the net because it is free, therefore the competition is essentially exactly the same as real life. Pay services (whether both ways or not) have a much more confined base because many people (especially women) are unwilling to pay to get dates. I've had somewhat better luck, at least with meeting women, with pay services than I have had with POF. As I said, I've done several research papers and projects on personals so I could go on forever on this.
I won't go into great detail here about how I got to where I am in life, but my early years were bad enough that I pretty much completely cut ties with everyone I ever knew growing up and moved hundreds of miles away. I don't really know anyone I met before I turned 22 besides my parents and brother, which is very different from most people, and I've found it somewhat difficult to break into circles of friends that have existed since middle school (or even just college). As I said in my profile, though I write a lot, I'm a fairly quiet person in real life, so that doesn't help. But I actually do have a lot of friends currently. But lots of friends doesn't necessarily translate into lots of dates. Just for the record, and this should be no shock to anyone, but my height is the #1 reason I get rejected, both in "real life" and online (with POF, it's kind of hard to tell, since most women just don't write you back, but the couple that thought I was interesting enough to be friends admitted that was a problem with dating me).
Thanks for the compliment on my writing, btw. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:39:36 PM | "one phone call and zero meetings to show for it"
- If you are asking for phone numbers online, you are cutting your chances... more women will meet you before they give you their phone number. A phone number is a little more personal.
The best way to contact and invite is to exchange 3 - 5 emails and then set up a time, day, and place right in the email, and ask them to send you an email to confirm. After they have met you for the first time and have enough information to get a good impression of you through a combination of conversation, looks, body language, facial expression, voice inflection, eyes.... these things you can't get from profiles/the phone, at least not all of them... at the end of the first meeting (coffee shop, restaurant), then you can ask them for their phone nuber... if they are attracted to you and have a good attitude, then they will give it to you.
"The most "successful" one was just a humorous listing of all the crazy things that have happened to me in my life. "
- Exactly. Day after day after day, I suggest to people that they add at least one funny, clean sentence to the "About me" section. Humor stimulates the same area of the brain where our feelings of love are... do you smell what I'm cooking?! Even one funny LOL sentence can take an average "about me" section and instantly double the attractiveness of that section. That's how effective humor can be. Humor = romantic.
I just skimmed over your profile, but no LOL joke jumped out at me... perhaps you have gone backward in some respects on your profile. It also looked a little long to me, but it just might have been tedious/boring... again, jokes can fix a multitude of sins
"Though that led to half of the first contacts I've ever had on this site, they were all just of the congratulatory "cool profile" nature and I couldn't get a dialogue going with any of them, because that's apparently really the only reason they contacted me: to congratulate me. "
- I know some people don't want to hear this, but one of the biggest parts of your profile is attractiveness, or the picture(s). When women say that a man was not her type, the bottom line is she did not find him attractive. While personality is more important long term, and you can scare a woman off as soon as you open your mouth and something bad comes out of it, attractiveness gets you into the party, it opens the door. Yes, there is someone for everyone, but the more attractive you are, the better. Two of the best things you can do for online dating is to workout and put your best head shot up there... don't rule out a professional glamor shot.
I've had somewhat better luck, at least with meeting women, with pay services than I have had with POF.
- This could be true... for pay sites, the people may be more qualified and therefore more motivated and serious because they had to pay. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:55:51 PM | | My suggestion is to lose all the photos that aren't just of you, especially the ones you're not in at all! Perhaps you could talk about what you'd like to do with a girlfriend, like attend the festivals and screenings. Why are you looking - is the questions you should be answering. You seem to have lots of friends and interests, and you write well but you're not telling us what you're looking for and why. Also, make sure you are reaching out to nearby women and focus on meeting them after a few emails, don't wait for them to come to you. Your main profile picture is a bit too far away, with some clutter in the background. Since you have a nice smile and a friendly face, and you're cute, you should crop that one or take another closer up. Good luck! | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:52:58 PM | DMR: I wouldn't ask for a phone number unless we had exchanged several messages. Which that has almost never happened on POF. Obviously, I'd have to be a little thick to ask for a phone number in message #1. And I thought the diddley comment on the guitar was kind of amusing in my dry humor sort of way (Bo Diddley, the guitarist? "Bo, you don't know Diddley" Nike commercials from the 80s?). I thought part of the problem with the humorist listing of crazy things that have happened to me is that it made me seem like kind of a born loser -- people were laughing AT me, not WITH me, to drag out a rare appropriate cliche'.
LSBF: There seems to be two schools of thought on photos which include other people. School #1 claims that nobody wants to see pictures of a guy that includes other women, because it suggests he's a player or he's got too many female friends or something. School #2 says that pictures of you with other people show that you actually have friends and some people consider you to be a fun person to be around and you're not some invalid loner biding his time in his parents' basement. I'm not sure what the split is between the two schools, but I do know that I've received several emails from women who said they responded because it looked like I was a fun person to be around, and in a couple of cases just because "Hey, I used to live in Long Island and remember that place!" or something like that. Of course, for all I know, a bunch of women didn't respond because of the pictures with other people in them. But I have had profiles with just pictures of me and the "success" rate is about the same regardless. Admittedly, the picture of Rhea by herself is kind of odd, but that movie I made with her has pretty much been my entire life the past year so I figured it made sense to at least put up something that showed the movie... or maybe it doesn't make sense. I dunno. If I knew what I was doing, I probably wouldn't be posting in this forum!
One thing I have almost never done with any of my profiles is put what I'm looking for in a date in them. That can't possibly lead to any good. There is already a very limited number of women interested in me as it is -- why make a big chunk of them feel like I eliminated them with a phrase like, "I'm looking for an intelligent woman" or something like that? Once I did get sort of sick of accumulating long-term "email buddies" on the site and added "I would prefer to communicate with women who are actually interested in eventually meeting," but that led to several months of no emails at all, so I had to take that off because it was seriously killing my self-esteem. I figure saying "looking for someone fun" is okay, because who doesn't think he/she is fun?
And thanks for the compliment about my appearance. :)
Also, I don't want anyone to think my responses are meant in any sort of mean spirit. I appreciate the help. I just naturally respond to inquiries people bring up, but that sometimes rubs people the wrong way (which would be a big negative in my emailings, obviously, if I was foolish enough to do such a thing). | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:11:13 PM | It's hard to get past all of the pictures. I agree with the previous poster eliminate the ones without you and crop a few or take new ones for close ups. You are a nice looking guy but all of your pics are with a closed mouth smile - show some teeth!
The description on the one pic does not sound like it was written by a writer - My movies lead actors Rhea and Chris and I - I should be me and movies should be movie's.
When you are going to list who is in a photo you should list left to right. Rhea, me and Chris (guessing Chris is the male).
Chicks notice the little things in profiles - other people in photos - "just who is that blonde girl" and "wow, that Chris guy is cute, I wonder if he's available and/or on POF?"
Unless Raggae = Reggae or is some new type of music I haven't heard about then you really don't have the spelling thing going on.
You mention that Drive By Truckers are from your home state but don't mention where - perfect place to insert Georgia. (without goggling, I think they are from Georgia). | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:26:35 PM | Good point about the spelling on the second item -- actually, no one has looked at my profile since I added that, so I can probably fix that without much embarrassment. But on the first spelling item, POF takes certain punctuation marks out of picture posts (try it and see) -- not sure what that's about, but I noticed that as soon as I made one of those picture description posts and tried to fix it but couldn't.
The last woman I met from online (obviously not POF) actually made a comment about my non-teeth pictures -- first I'd ever heard of that being an issue. I have a gap between my two front teeth and it bothers me a lot, so I never smile with teeth.
Another thing on having other people in your pictures: I actually rarely ever respond to a profile unless the woman has other people in her pictures. It's not something I really do consciously, but I did eventually notice it. They just usually seem like more "fun" people to me. Also, I take very few pictures by myself -- I feel weird posing by myself; sure, I could have some specially taken for this site, but what I was trying to do with my pictures was show the activities I was involved with. I mean, ONE picture pretty much shows everybody what you LOOK like -- do they really need several others for that purpose? Like I said previously, from what I can assess, it's running about 50-50 on this site as to whether it matters if other people are in your pictures, which is pretty much a coin flip, and you can't please everyone, but I do try to please the majority of women on the site with my profile so if they overwhelmingly point out something I've done wrong, I will change it.
Once upon a time on another site, a woman responded to my profile because I had a picture on there with Stephen (the director of my movie) in it and she, like most women I've met during the 10 years I've known Stephen, thought he was smokin' hot. SOMEHOW that led to a meeting with her eventually, though I'm quite sure her ulterior motive was to meet him through me. Which I really don't have a problem with -- at least it was a meeting! Nobody's tried that with Chris yet, though.
BTW, Drive-By-Truckers are currently based in Athens, GA, but most of the members met in and were originally from Muscle Shoals, Alabama -- my home state (unfortunately).
And thanks for the advice and compliment. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:44:16 PM | First - Muscle Shoals Alabama is one of the great music Meccas. I know you live there, but them's fighting words.
As for you - you're employed, creative, can write a warm and winning profile (so I assume you can write a decent message), good looking and ambitious. I'm stumped. I'm old, funny looking, have nothing in my profile, am not looking to date and I get the occasional message.
It's got to be your pics. That's 90% of the game here, and there's something weird about yours. You have exactly the same facial expression in every photo. It's like you have facial paralysis or you're an alien who is here to mate with our women. If it's the former - I'm sorry for you. If it's the latter - get off our planet you damn alien. If it's neither, then find a new pose - you've worn out Blue Steel. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:19:03 AM | Oh, obviously I agree with you about the greatness of Muscle Shoals (which is fairly close to Memphis and Nashville for those that don't know) when it comes to music. Unfortunately, the only two positive aspects of Sweet Home Alabama I can recall after 18 years of living there are the music it inspires, and football. I could fill up this forum with negative aspects. I am definitely much happier not living there.
I can't say I've ever not sent a woman an email because she had a couple of weird photos (out of several) but if you're saying ALL of my photos are weird, maybe I've got a problem... which unfortunately, might not be one that I can correct (without plastic surgery).
For the record, over almost 3 years, I've received 6 first contact emails, 3 of them congratulating me on a writing a great profile (not this one) but showing no real interest in dating me. I'm not really sure how many women have written me back out of the hundreds I've attempted first contact with, but in the 3 weeks since I came back from L.A., I have about 25 first contact attempts and 1 email in my inbox (from someone who I originally contacted months ago and writes me about 1 email a month, so none of the past 3 weeks' first contact attempts replied back... one of them even had a 99% POF personality match with me!). | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:35:27 AM | You need some great pictures..... Good face photo's.
Your profile maybe add some more interests and less about your work. Putting won you work all the time is cutting your chances.....especially if you just come home to sleep. You might do that but is lessens your chance of dating ... women know you won't have time for them.
A little little more about your personality. Likes ...everything your interested in. You are very charming and witty use it. Women your age like romance. Wined and dined and staring into their eyes kind of stuff. Your a writer ....... you can write to appeal to them. POF or any dating service is all about advertisement. The best ads get the best response. In person shy is charming on paper it says you don't know much about women.....take it off. Last but not Least.......Confidence....even if you don't have it Fake it until you make it. And eventually you will also believe.......Cheers and Best of Luck.......... | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 7:42:55 AM | The username may be putting off some of the viewers - at least the ones who know who Stephen Hawking is! I'd say keep it, but use some light humour in the headline to offset.
In your Interests field, why not add: Daily Show, Colbert Report, SNL. This will show your type of humour before they even read the profile.
The profile has 4 paragraphs. For me, the order should be 3, 4, 1 and 2. By all means, use an exclamation mark once in a while to show enthusiasm or excitement. !! < here's a couple for free.
For the height thing, a full body flattering picture of you (and not you with a ton of people around you) without sunglasses will show off the workout body you've been training for. Outdoor shots work well because of the lighting and casual setting.
Introductory emails should not be novels. They should mention something specific in her profile, make an appropriate comment and ask a question. That's it. Any more and her eyes will glaze over. Too many questions won't get answered (who wants to have to write an essay back?) and coming on too strong ("you're cute/pretty") is a turnoff.
Have you actually changed anything in your profile since you started your thread? I know writers are possessive of their work, but keep an open mind on different perspectives. xoxo | |
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Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:20:07 AM | I'm not going to win stud of the year or anything myself but I do want to offer an opinion...
At 5'4 you are rather short...I know it sounds shallow but many women don't want to date short men.
That being said, you're a good looking guy so work with what you've got! Take some new and fresh photos, post them and ditch most of the old ones.
Best to ya! | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:57:12 AM | Ok, maybe I can offer you some help.
Your pictures! Get rid of all the ones with you and other women....women cannot handle competition and it defeats the purpose of posting pictures of you and you alone. Show pictures of you!
I am no fan of long pages with to much info however well written it is. Yes, they can and do work but that being said it is person specific. Some folks can pull it off and works for them. If you are just looking to date, shorten it up, leave them something to go on, wonder about and some things to ask you about.
Obviously you are a intelligent man, I get the impression that may be working against you. I know that does not sound to good but follow me along and maybe it will. Ever hear the saying 'you are to smart for your own good' ?
I like all kinds of music but alt rock is my favorite and frequently go to festivals like Voodoo, Next Big Thing, Warped Tour and formerly Livestock, and most recently saw Radiohead, Puddle of Mudd and 3 Doors Down; my favorites besides Radiohead include Alice in Chains, Tool, Throwing Muses, PJ Harvey, Jamiroquoi, TV on the Radio, STP, Duran Duran, Badly Drawn Boy, Nine Inch Nails, Foo Fighters, Black Keys, White Stripes and Drive By Truckers (who are from my home state). In addition I like jazz, house/techno, blues, progressive, reggae and some country and hip-hop. I have a guitar but don't really know diddley about it.
Your opening is one of the most important parts of your page! Yours is not so good. The first thing someone reads about you is music and someone elses music at that. It reads like you tried to cram, every, single, bit, of , music, that, you, have, ever, listened, too. If you have to use more then 2 commas in one sentence. Consider what it is your writing about.
Pictures are number 1 for online dating. Your opening paragraph, sentence, whatever is a very close #2 and it should set you apart and set the rest of the text up. Smart, clever, witty, funny.....whatever. Really think about what the first thing someone reads about says. Listing the music you like is not such a good approach. You want,,,no you need to STAND OUT and the first few lines set this whole theme up.
I have a guitar but don't know diddley about it------remove this and the picture too.
I have a car but don't know diddley about it other then to drive it ----- you won't find this on my page......catch me drift?
I also enjoy amusement parks
Yes you and 20 million other people----stand out---what do you like about them? the bubble ballons, rollercoasters, tea cups, merry go round?
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art, the beach, Italian food and traveling -- my favorite cities are Miami, Las Vegas, New Orleans and of course NYC and LA (I went to both plus Vegas this summer).
Here again,, yes, you and 5 billion other people. Now if you said I love Canadian food, well that is something you do not hear much about! This is just herd food and makes you blend in with everyother person.
I've done a lot of clubbing and partying (even if I generally was just a people-watching fly on the wall) but not as much lately.
If your done with it, why write about it? And you make yourself out to be a guy in the corner holding up the wall. Ditch it. You are a writer, craft the writing to favor you.
You should be able to say things ~ without saying them.
EX---- I am funny and like to laugh
Spongebob squarepants is my hero and I can watch Chris Rock reruns to no end.
Lame example but hopefully you get what I am saying.
I was a competitive powerlifter throughout high school and college and also played and coached football, baseball and softball and am still somewhat athletic. Ironically (see below) I watch very little TV, but my favorite shows are "Daily Show/Colbert," "SNL" and "Big Bang Theory," which in many ways is a funnier biographical account of my life. (More Leonard than Sheldon, hopefully.)
Not bad. But the trying to cram everything into a few sentences just does'nt work well.
I'm a writer and fairly intelligent, so if nothing else you can expect some verbose emails.
Intelligent people do not need to tell anyone they are smart. It is apparent. Verbose emails? ditch this.
In real life, I'm rather quiet and try to avoid being the center of attention.
This is not gonna help at all. A lot of people write some variation of this and think it helps,, but it does'nt at all. Let the people you are meeting decide this out for themselves.
I am extremely independent (have lived on my own in another state from my parents since graduating high school) and have no real baggage (no kids, no legal exes, no criminal charges, etc.).
reword this and make it work for you. No need to say most of this as it is on the top of the page..Criminal anything does not belong on your page. Even if it is to say you don't. Breaching the subject works against you.
Plus, I won a couple of spelling bees in grade school, so for all those women who complain in their profiles about guys not being able to spell, I've got that going for me.
THIS IS A GREAT OPENING! monkey with this and I bet it would work.
I'm no doubt into movies more than anything else. I've worked at several movie theaters (though my regular dayjob is at a TV station), I was a professional film critic for several years and I've written a bunch of screenplays. One of my biggest dreams is to win a Best Screenplay Oscar and I came about as close as I have so far when the latest movie I wrote and produced won 5 awards at a Tampa film festival in May and it's also competed at a number of other festivals from NYC to Los Angeles, winning an award here or there. I've been pretty busy this year with that movie -- in addition to festivals, I keep finding myself in meetings about producing another (this in addition to my two REAL jobs). But I usually have down time here and there. No doubt I'm about as opposite as you can get from the bums I read about in women's profiles on here, but I suppose it's possible I've gone a little too far in the other direction and need a little more pure fun and less work...
You should rework this. Good info, bad delivery for a dating page. I would council you to remove anything that reads----you work to much, don't have a life outside of work etc etc etc......we want a date and to do that we have to have some time! don't call the artillery right in on your position. No need to make things harder then they already are.
*highlights*
(this in addition to my two REAL jobs). But I usually have down time here and there. <---------ditch, other then saying you have no time, how is this gonna help?
No doubt I'm about as opposite as you can get from the bums I read about in women's profiles on here <------------ negative and negative never really works. Lets worry about you and forget about the others.
First DateI prefer to talk over dinner, as that's a "getting to know the other person" sort of situation, but I've done just about everything at some point or another. I'm just looking for someone who wants to go out and do fun things. I'm obviously not much of a homebody -- I really just show up at home to sleep, which I honestly get very little of, but I'm not really sure the point of sleeping one's life away... <------------------------------------- this is not helping get date. Why mention that you have done all this already? Serial dater is a impression you could leave. Don't call the artillery in right on your position! again!
You may also consider a online format like eharmony or chemistry. It takes some of the work out of emailing/getting emails. A lot of folks do not like eharmony and yes it has some pitfalls, but it can work. No cold calling emails and such. You are matched with similiar people (debatable) but it favors some guys and girls more then POF,singles.net, match. Just a suggestion. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:52:52 AM | Thanks for all the advice, although some of it seems to be conflicting -- the only absolute consistency is about pictures, but really, I don't know about most of the guys' picture sets on this site, but I can tell you the majority of women's picture sets I've looked at have had not only other people in them but other guys in them. Of course, this could be a case of a double-standard: it's okay for women to have men in their pictures since men outnumber women 10 to 1 on the site (that is a random guess) but it's not okay the other way around. I should point out that it's not like they're even labeled as friends (aside from the party pic, which I actually just threw up there the day before making a request for reviews) -- they're all technically co-workers from my film project (except for the Elvis pictures [my real name is Presley if you hadn't figured that out], all my "other people" pictures are from the film project, which, as I've said, has completely consumed my life as of late). I shall definitely work on more closeups and clear pics and whatnot, though. I should point out there was one phase where I had nothing except headshots of me on a profile and I received the lowest number of emails ever for a single period, but whether that's true cause-and-effect can't really be determined without further research into the matter and I have little time for such things these days.
I actually can't send a novel introductory email to anyone (despite the obvious temptation for someone like me). Because I don't do form emails and cater each email to the specific person I'm emailing, to make them longer than a paragraph would literally take me all day. I learned that lesson many, many, many years ago. As it is, POF et al probably use up an hour of my time each day. I guess that's one reason why I try to stuff so much into my profile, because I can't do that with an email.
On that same note, other than fixing the spelling error, I haven't really had time to change anything much in my profile. I also figured I should get a bunch of responses first anyway and find some consensus (like I said, there's already contradictory info in this thread).
Lion made me think that maybe I should just scrap this profile altogether and repost the most popular one I ever had -- which is actually much longer, but a lot more entertaining. I only had it up for about 3 months but received more emails during that period than any full year I've been on this site. I did save it (I save everything) so I'm just pasting it below to see what people here think.
HawkingJr, by the way, has been my handle on almost every website dating back to when Al Gore invented the internet. Not quite sure why I picked it, to tell you the truth, as I think Stephen Hawking is a cool guy and all, but I'm actually bigger fans of other theoretical physicists, especially Huygens, but Huygens Jr. is difficult for most people to pronounce...
PS eHarmony actually admits on its site that it generally discriminates against short men because they have a lot of difficulty finding women who will date them. It's one thing to waste some time on POF because of that issue, but I see no real reason to waste a lot of money on eHarmony because of it.
http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/press/articles?id=15 | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:59:18 AM | MY PROFILE FROM WINTER/SPRING 09 THAT RECEIVED MY HIGHEST PERCENTAGE OF EMAILS TO DATE (but was still highly unsuccessful in actually landing a meeting); as you can probably tell, it makes a lot more use of my creative writing skills and I got a lot of "Wow, that was such a cool profile" and "You sound like you've had a fun life"-type emails:
My high school graduating class had 50 students. My college graduating class had 5000 students.
The baseball team I played on in the first grade didn’t win a game. Over 15 years later, I coached a women’s softball team to three consecutive undefeated intramural championships. The year after the third title, I played on a men’s team that didn’t win a game.
10 years ago I rode 45 different roller coasters over a 3 day period. I think I have been on a total of about 5 since.
Some people have called me an “iron man” because I have played/worked through major injuries and illnesses, but I have nothing on my father. Among other legendary Paul Bunyan-like feats, once while driving himself and my younger brother on a tractor, my father the snake-hater attempted to run over a 6-foot-long coachwhip that was crossing the road. The details of the next ten seconds are sketchy due to the only witness being my then four-year-old brother, but as far as we can tell, somehow the snake took control of the tractor and ran over my father. Despite having a crushed chest and a leg broken in more places than dinosaur DNA, my father climbed back on the tractor and drove himself and my brother 3 miles from the field back to our house and then tried to drive himself to the nearest hospital before my mother stopped him and took over. The snake escaped unharmed but with a better driving record than your typical Florida teenager. You just can’t make stuff like that up.
I once bought a prom dress for the girl I was dating, then she went to the prom with another guy. Strangely enough, that relationship didn’t work out.
When I was 15, a man’s bullet-riddled body was discovered on my church’s lawn right before Sunday school. The high school my father taught math at for many years burned to the ground in 1994 after several months of internationally infamous racial strife caused by the principal’s decision to ban interracial couples from attending the prom. These unrelated incidents inspired my best screenplay.
I get my picture taken with Elvis whenever I run into him – Voodoofest at New Orleans, Madame Tussad’s in NYC, Hollywood Boulevard in LA and pretty much whichever direction you turn in Vegas.
My favorite lyric in a song is “In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey.” I used it as the epigraph for my second-most-acclaimed screenplay and the lyric is described by the main character as the second most profound thing he’s ever heard.
The three best concerts I’ve ever been to are Livestock 2002 (Earshot, Gravity Kills, Puddle of Mudd, Sevendust, Rob Zombie, Kid Rock, Candlebox, Stone Temple Pilots), Next Big Thing 2002 (N.E.R.D., the Used, OK Go, Something Corporate, Earshot again, Authority Zero, Our Lady Peace, Everclear, Cypress Hill) and Voodoofest 2004 (De La Soul, Shinedown, Velvet Revolver, the Beastie Boys, Green Day, the Killers, A Tribe Called Quest, the Pixies, Phantom Planet, Kid Rock again and Cypress Hill again), although the best single-performer concert I’ve attended is probably Radiohead last year.
A few years ago I had an “Oprah moment” and bought one of my down-on-her-luck best friends a car so she would have reliable transportation to and from cosmetology school. Everybody we knew said I was crazy, but that turned out to be a much better investment than the 2008 stock market: she graduated, got her life in order, became a professional hairstylist, traded in the car I bought her for a new one, did the hair on my most recent short film and sometimes cuts my hair for free. (She’s in the LA pic.)
I’ve never been thrown out of a club or bar, but one Gasparilla I was walking by a club in Ybor City and a guy being thrown out of the club was thrown into me.
I was a TV station film critic for 7 years. The 5 best movies I saw out of some 1500 during that period were Cidade de Deus, Memento, Wo Hu Cang Long, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Donnie Darko. The 5 worst movies were Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl, From Justin to Kelly, Freddie Got Fingered, Battlefield Earth, and let’s say the entire Uwe Boll film collection.
The places I’ve never been to that I would most like to visit are Italy, because of the history, art and food, and Norway/Iceland, because that’s the only major setting of any of my screenplays I’ve never been to. Well, another screenplay is set on Mars, but there are some issues with my Martian passport that I’d rather not talk about. Also apparently it would take me several thousand years to accumulate enough frequent flyer points for that trip.
While I was being pushed through a big Gasparilla crowd a few years ago, someone stepped on my shoe and it came off. As it would have been very unwise to bend down and try to pick it up at the time, I came back a few minutes later, only to discover it was missing. The only other pair of shoes I had in my car was my softball cleats, so I put those on. The rest of the night people kept saying things to me like “Slide, slide, slide!”, “You headed for the end zone, buddy?” and “OH MY GOD THAT HURTS SO MUCH HAVING MY SANDALED-FOOT STEPPED ON BY A GUY WEARING CLEATS.”
During my Golden Age of Partying, I attended/threw parties that ended up with such exotic nicknames as the Piña Colada Party, the Halloween Hurricane Party (guess the year), the Underwear Twister Party, the Black & White & Black Again Party, the Holiday Inn Horror Party, the Porn Star Cookie Party, the Fourth of July Fireworks Fiasco, the It’s Raining on My Parade Party and two consecutive years of St. Patrick’s Day Massacres, which culminated in the April Fool’s Massacre. Which wasn’t a party, it was just a massacre.
I was once a projectionist at a movie theater where my co-workers included aspiring actors, film directors, composers, cinematographers and producers. We made a few short films together, the last of which was completed this past summer and was being seriously considered by potential investors interested in financing a feature-length version when the stock market decided to collapse and the economy officially entered the worst recession since the Great Depression. As they say in Hollywood, I’ll get back to you on that. (ADDENDUM TO FORUM PEOPLE: I obviously wrote this before the whole festival thing took off and that began to consume my life.)
My boss jokingly suggested I drop $100 on the Bucs to win the Super Bowl while I was in Vegas in summer 2002. I found a place to make that bet but said to myself, “I’m not throwing away $100 on that nonsense!” I then proceeded to throw away several hundred dollars on other nonsense. 6 months later, the Bucs won Super Bowl 37. The odds of them doing so had been 30-to-1 that summer.
I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve been home on a Friday or Saturday night over the past 10 years. Which is funny, because I can also count on my fingers the number of times I was NOT home on a Friday or Saturday night during the first 20 years of my life (high school football seasons excluded -- I played for 4 years) | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 1:05:08 PM | Why are we worryin over what women can do and guys can't? Who cares? Sometimes we get away with
Crap that they can't do and vice versa. Are we tryin to get a date or change the dating world? Women
Can get away with it guys cannot. Women can write really lame pages guys cannot, which leads
To the point of havin good pictures. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 1:27:23 PM | "
DMR: . And I thought the diddley comment on the guitar was kind of amusing in my dry humor sort of way (Bo Diddley, the guitarist? "Bo, you don't know Diddley" Nike commercials from the 80s?).
- I just did not get it... maybe it's too old or too obscure for me, or something only a sports fan would get, really not sure. You may want to get other opinions on that one.
I thought part of the problem with the humorist listing of crazy things that have happened to me is that it made me seem like kind of a born loser -- people were laughing AT me, not WITH me, to drag out a rare appropriate cliche'.
Okay, right... I understand now... you need the right kind of humor, humor that lifts you up, not down... disparaging humor or humor that puts others down does not work... while you will get laughs, they are laughing at you, not with you. You need a couple of light-hearted, LOL humorous sentences that everyone gets.
Teeth: Good teeth and a nice smile are one of the most important things to attract women... women love a great smile. I have seen famous, great looking actors with a space... so I'm not sure where you are coming from... if you really think they look bad, get them fixed. Again, the majority of the best main pics you will see are big smiling head shots where you see some white... smiling = good attitude (happy), not smiling means poor attitude, or non-loving. happy feelings stimulate the same parts of the brain where love and attractiveness are... this is really important, you truly do have a major flaw with your pics the way they are right now.
You seem to be a great guy, highly intelligent and a skilled writer, you have some things very right, but you are also doing some things which are sabotaging your chances. You have some fatal profile falws which are killing you, and there is no reason for that, really. There is no reason you should not be able to get a date a week with a good profile. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 1:53:50 PM | | Your profile is too detailed! Less is more. We really don't need to know quite that much about your musical tastes. And to say you are intelligent comes across as arrogant and egotistical. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:08:43 PM | | Okay, I just read your original profile you posted... I can see why it did not work... you have to write to your audience/venue... that's of little use for a dating profile... it would be good for a stand -up comedy routine, however. Funny as heck! | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:23:42 PM | Just want to clear something up. I have a horrible crush on a short bit overweight man not much taller than me. I can't speak around him I get all fluttered.
I usually only date big nicely built men. But this one has appealed to me so much because he smells good.....but he is a very nice funny man. My first husband was drop dead gorgeous.....My second and the one I love until he died....wasn't so cute. I think that we meet someone and they are just so appealing that they become beautiful and strong right before our eyes.......and it isn't about height its about the insides whether anyone is honest or not....or least for me it is.
I spent the day Sunday watching this man play ball and it was the very first time I noticed that he wasn't much taller than me,.........Don't care. Like I said I am behaving like a silly girl.......but at least maybe he will notice me later on........Smiles Good Luck
With your disposition you will meet someone wonderful....... | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:24:18 PM | I think Blue Eyes Smiling points out what I've always thought to be the primary problem with internet dating for someone like me: "because he smells so good... very nice funny man... I think we meet someone and they are just so appealing that they become beautiful and strong right before our eyes etc."
See, you cannot possibly have that kind of interaction with someone over the internet. You have to actually physically meet someone before they can, say, "grow on you." For women, this site (and most similar ones) is really all about meeting their ideal man. Most of us certainly know by now what we believe to be our ideal mate usually does not turn out to be reality, but we will only give up on that ideal if someone comes along to convince us otherwise. And that can't be done over the internet because it requires evaluating quite a few qualities, emotions and senses that can't be conveyed over the internet and especially not a single page profile, such as "smell," "nice," "becoming beautiful and strong right before our eyes."
This is not to say I don't belive you can't find the love of your life over the internet. In fact, I believe most people are MORE likely to find the love of their lives over the internet, because it expands your dating pool probably hundreds of times wider than it would be if you relied on work, school, church, clubs/bars, hobbies and your relatively tiny little circle of friends and families. But it's not too likely you are going to truly be able to determine that love of your life is indeed that person until you meet them because of the whole chemistry factor, no matter how grand that person may look on "paper."
What I have is the opposite issue: nobody looks at me or reads about me (regardless of what I write) and thinks I'm going to be the love of her life, so almost no woman's going to respond to one of ads or emails thinking so. So unless she's at a very experimental stage in her life, I'm probably never going to get the opportunity to "grow on her" at POF. The height/race/age combination factor probably eliminates me in over 95% of women's eyes (that's actually not a wild guess -- came from years of research on the matter) -- although I'm asking for advice (mostly out of frustration and disbelief that I have a leper-like success rate), I personally believe it doesn't matter if my profile consists of a recitation of the Torah or if it's nothing more than a single punctuation mark, the results would probably be the same as I'm currently getting, because most women don't even make it to the picture section of my profile -- those first 4 or 5 lines above the pictures are usually enough for them to move on.
The reality is I've only had 3 real relationships and I met none of the 3 online: I met them all through work and I don't think any of them had any interest in dating me upon meeting me but I grew on them over several months to a year. So why bother with online? Quite frankly, those three cases were ridiculous luck and I can't really sit around waiting for more luck to show up, because for the most part my dating problems in the "real world" mirror my online experiences . Just gotta keep trying everything until I luck out again and something works. I suppose it only takes 1 (though I keep thinking that was this time last year and I blew it, but I won't get into that episode; that's another problem with being me, is that you can't make one single mistake, not a one, with any opportunity you're given).
ANYWAY, Lion: You're probably right in the short term, but in the long term, had my parents' generation had such an attitude about not bothering with "changing the world," I would be posting this in POF's segregated forums.
Rae: I think there's a pretty strong consensus here about getting rid of "intelligent," so it's gone. But it's kind of late to be thinking creatively tonight as far as actually working on the profile (responding to posts is just like regular thinking to me).
DMR: So in "Funny People," Adam Sandler points out to Seth Rogen the problem with having the type of routine I would probably have: "Do you ever want a woman to have sex with you again? Cut out the loser jokes!" (Somewhat paraphrased and sanitized.) I am smiling in almost every picture, though. Just no teeth. The quote I received for fixing the gap seemed a little extreme to me (though it is FAR less expensive than what it would cost to add 3-6 inches to my height, that's for sure).
Again, thanks for the advice. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:36:50 PM | Man you can write some long azz posts! You are going about this all wrong man and you pretty much have defeated yourself before you started by the sounds of it.
None of what you posted matters, Not one bit of it. You just have to let it ride and quit worryin over it.
Just chop it, pull 3-4 things that make you...you....... and go with that. You are too smart for your own good and have done some serious overthinking, overwriting and some other things, none of which will get us a date.
Your height is your height, big whoop. Quit thinking so d@mn much!
Look, if a 37 year old with 2 young daughters 4 and 21 months, never been married and thinks gardening vegtables is fun can get 631 first contact emails from women on one of the hardest venues available to single folks, then so can you. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:14:40 PM |
- If you are asking for phone numbers online, you are cutting your chances... more women will meet you before they give you their phone number. A phone number is a little more personal.
This is so not true. I prefer talking over the phone before I even meet someone in person. Lets me know if they're able to hold a conversation. Some women jump at the chance to move the great email conversation to the phone, just to debate, discuss, topics in greater detail, at a faster rate.
OP,
Posting pics of yourself with other women is POF suicide. It's the biggest no-no. It doesn't matter if it's your sister, mom, whatever, just don't post them.
I like all kinds of music...
BAM! That fast? She's never known you exist and all of a sudden it's doot doot doo, I like music... How about an opener? You go on and on about music - which might be slightly related to you and your personality, but it's not the same as. You need to talk about YOU first. That whole first paragraph is a long read....most will probably skip it because they're trying to get to the YOU that you need to talk about.
I have a theory about profile reviewing. There needs to be a study to test it out...
I believe that there is a time window in which a profile reader wants a gist of who they are reading about. If you can't give that within the allotted time (20 seconds?) then you've lost your chance. It's not that you're a bad person, or anything like that...it's just that the profile reader isn't going spend anymore time.
I skimmed the first paragraph before reading it and found little about your personality. Same with the second paragraph.
Your third paragraph is okay, although it's dry and since the first 2 paragraphs were boring, the third is sort of the same. I don't think you need to explain every point in parentheses.
Okay, so now that I've read the 4rth paragraph, I'm super bored. It's not that you're not interesting, it's just that you're really dumping the knowledge about you onto the reader, and it's not in a fun way. I don't think most females are going to take the time to read all that, especially after the first two boring paragraphs. Besides, ladies you message have to read tons of profiles every day. They'll see that you have a lot to say and will categorize you in the "will read about later" cataloger, and then will never get around to it.
Maybe you need to go with a less is more approach, with pictures of just you. Water down your profile to the bare bones, tweak to make it creative, then have more to say in later emails.
And please tell me that not all of your emails are as long winded. | |
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| Little surprised I'm requesting a profile review
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:17:27 PM | OP, it might help to condense you're writing. People are trying to date, not draft manifesto.
I didn't see much wrong with your pics. Likely the girls could say more specifically.
Its mainly just presentation - the layout doesn't look fun or spontaneous. Maybe have something that people want to join. They can't do that with your work or your writing on its own, or any intellectual pursuit.
Also - why get down on pofferville? Its' not working poorly. In fact its great. I made a complete mine field of my profile on purpose and still have occasional quality women contacting me.
The best advise I've seen was from a small Asian girl. She said write for the single person you're looking for, not everyone who reads. That one person who you want to reach is reading alone. There's no reason to try to put in things to exclude, limit or exclusively define yourself. You're only speaking to those you want to hear from.
good luck. | |
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