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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....      Home login  
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 caregiver766
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 1
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....Page 1 of 1    
I started dating a woman two weeks ago. We have been intimate 5 times and she has stated that she does not want a committed relationship OR a relationship at all. She even said it was only fair for me to have my dating profile active. I was honest and told her I was on a date last night (NO sex), and she got upset.
It is asking too much for a relationship in this situation? She says I am pushing...Isn't is normal for a woman to want to start a relationship after being intimate?
Caregiver 766
 BookWormFairy
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 2
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:37:44 PM
In my opinion, this woman is using you for intimacy. She has made it abundantly clear she does not want a relationship, and has even told you to keep your profile active.

It does not sound like you're ok with the friend with benefits situation (which it appears she is trying to establish)... so... you might consider cutting her off.

Even if she agrees to a relationship at this point, the chances are good she will only have done so to keep you hanging on.
 Azalea7
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 3
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She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:46:09 PM
Forget the labels. Stop dating anybody else. Sheesh you fvck her every 2.8 days, how much more do you need? Just focus on what you have for a while. It's only been two weeks. Other fish out there can wait while you give this one a little time.
 bluesandrock
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 4
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:51:16 PM

I was honest and told her I was on a date last night (NO sex), and she got upset.

Let's take her at her word that she really does not want a relationship, this does not mean she wants to hear about your other dates.

It is asking too much for a relationship in this situation?

You asked she said no. Unless she gives some signal that her position on this has changed do not ask again. To constantly ask her after she told you is pushing it.

I started dating a woman two weeks ago. We have been intimate 5 times

You da man!
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 5
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:53:49 PM
Well... didya ask her why she was upset? Pretty simple.

Perhaps she is confused about what she wants or she thinks if you start a relationship with the new lady... she won't get to use you as a human dildo anymore.
 NORTY01
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 6
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:57:23 PM

I started dating a woman two weeks ago. We have been intimate 5 times and she has stated that she does not want a committed relationship OR a relationship at all. She even said it was only fair for me to have my dating profile active. I was honest and told her I was on a date last night (NO sex), and she got upset.
It is asking too much for a relationship in this situation? She says I am pushing...Isn't is normal for a woman to want to start a relationship after being intimate?
Caregiver 766
Raised by a single mom?
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 7
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She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:05:10 PM
Are you sure she wasn't upset because you told her you'd been on a date the previous night?
Personally I don't see any reason to share that information.
If you're not in a committed relationship, there's no reason to share that.
Some women (and men) assume that once you've been intimate, that a relationship has been established.
Keep up the communication.
Best of luck.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 8
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:08:59 PM
You must be a very busy man...you waskly wabbit you.
What is normal? I am afraid if you want normal you will have to move to Normal Ill.

The rest of us are unique.
I would say some women want a fck buddy and still don't want to hear about you dating.
Most women would want some type of commitment if for no other reason they don't want cooties from your other women if you decide to be intimate with them the other days of the week.
 Nerdhead26
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 9
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:21:51 PM

You're her boy toy, a piece of meat, fwb and nothing more.
enjoy it while it lasts. you wont regret it. c'mon you're a man. lol
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 10
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She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:23:45 PM
Start paying her for sex; she's feeling ripped off.
 iTsMeJuLi
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 11
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:35:17 PM
She wants a date (dinner) then you for desert.
 bstfrendsolmatementorlovr
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 12
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:56:26 PM
Well, as I am I only hearing one side of the story which goes:


Two people who can physically relate


She may be feeling that you are the one who doesn't want a committed relationship and she hides behind a mask of false words. But her true feelings cannot be denied hence her being upset at you dating another woman. The fact that you dated another woman shows her gut instincts about you are correct. If you wanted a relationship with her, no way would you go out with another woman. No matter what she said. Your actions speak louder than your words as her actions speak louder than hers.


A mocking plea which makes you seem sincere but she is believing her gut feelings about you and in your constant stride to invalidate her intuition, you place the gamut at her feet.

Actions speak louder than words.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 13
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She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:59:32 PM
Keep your business to yourself, first off. There's nothing wrong with seeing this girl and having crazy wonderful sex with no strings attached. Just keep it wrapped up, keep your mouth shut, and don't ruin it by thinking she wants to hear about your dating anyone else. Enjoy what you've got and don't mess it up.

Many men would give their left nut for what you've got going on.

Beth
 ReallyCleverOne
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 14
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She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:02:20 PM
You've totally confused me. Are you pushing her for a relationship? If so, why then are you dating other people? If not, then why are you sharing with her that you're dating other people? That kind of stuff doesn't need to be discussed if there's no commitment.
 purrtypurr
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 15
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:20:56 PM
Maybe she is getting emotionally attached to you..... women get attached much more easily than men when they become intimate......it sounds like the no strings attached deal is not working for her after all...and you must've hit a nerve.....tell her that you don't like playing games and you need some clarity...........otherwise, you will continue to explore other options.....as you have been doing anyways......
 caregiver766
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 16
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:21:43 PM
I just told her to call me when she figures out what she wants to do. I don't want casual sex while she gets her emotional state in order. An emotionally normal woman would have already known if a relationship with me is what she wants. I am not the typical guy...every night I waste with someone who doesn't want me takes me further from my goal...someone loving to come home to every night!
 purrtypurr
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 17
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:29:23 PM
O/P you just answered your own question......don't settle for less if long term is what you are looking for.........and don't let anyone dissuade you from reaching that goal...
 iTsMeJuLi
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 18
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:29:37 PM

I am not the typical guy...every night I waste with someone who doesn't want me takes me further from my goal...someone loving to come home to every night!


cough cough b.s. cough

If that were true you wouldn't have spend 5 nights being intimate with her in the 2 weeks you knew her.

So I guess now your big head has overtaken your little head.
 fitandfun78
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 19
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:33:02 PM

Stop seeing her, RIGHT NOW.

Ha, yeah right, a free fvck every couple of days while you go out and date other women, yeah, I see a man stopping that RIGHT NOW.

I say just go with the flow but keep your dates on the d-low ... no need for her to know you're dating others if she's not wanting a relationship. You two are FWB's ... keep it as simple as that until it no longer works.
 caregiver766
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 20
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:33:14 PM
Book Worm Fairy....You're right on the money!
 caregiver766
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 21
She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:35:50 PM
Unfortunately, I am not like "many men" and am not looking for "no strings" sex. I want to find a serious relationship and someone to come home to every night.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > She Doesn't Want a Relationship, BUT....