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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > How long to keep it in My Pants?      Home login  
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 TC1017
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 1
How long to keep it in My Pants? Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I am 23 and recently started dating again. I was with my previous girlfriend since I was fourteen and have not been with another woman since. I dated this woman a few weeks ago who had been on the singles seen and dated quite a few men. Anyway we went on a couple dates and started getting a little touchy back at my place and she unzipped my pants and put her hand in and kind of let out a small gasp. She quickly pulled her hand out continued kissing for a while, and then she went to the bathroom, said she felt sick and left. I have not herd from her since; she will not return my calls. I always new I wasn’t going to be a porn star (Just shy of 5 inches) but I figured I was at least adequate and it wouldn’t be an issue. At least it never was with my previous girlfriend. My question is should I try to make the relationship stronger next time before my size is exposed?
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 2
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 3:59:12 AM
I sooooooooooooo miss the days when forum posts showed up on profiles...


My question is should I try to make the relationship stronger next time before my size is exposed?
Perhaps rather than fixating on size, if you are going to try for sex with a woman in a short amount of time, set up an array of toys that she can look over and choose from... the right toy, the right technique and she won't have a clue what size you are at any time...
 pitufina_77
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 3
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 4:00:18 AM
Ok, I'm going to take the plunge on this one...

First, I'm imagining that your 5 inches are in "normal" conditions, or are they when you are full on?

In any case, although size can matter, it's not everything. There are things that can be done with other parts of your body to make a woman feel in heaven regardless of how big or small you are.

I take that you have only been with one girl in your life, who was your girlfriend and, given you started quite young, I would imagine that there are a few things still for you to learn with regards to sex.

My advice is that you learn about those other things you can do, how you can be sensual beyond your size. I've been with somebody who is able to put my whole body on "ready" just by the way he caresses my arm...

But, please, don't try to learn this by watching porn, many times it's unreal and faked. Do some reading, there are plenty of good articles online on how to, what not to do and so on.

And good luck!!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 4
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 4:50:12 AM

My question is should I try to make the relationship stronger next time before my size is exposed?


Isn't going to matter if you get a woman that prefers a larger penis.
It's just a fact of life......people have preferences.
Just like guys will only date a woman with big boobs.....or with blond hair.....or smaller than a size 8.......there are women that prefer a well endowed man.

Might as well find out sooner rather than later what type of woman you're dealing with.

and I do agree........size can be compensated for with techniques.
One of my best lovers was your size.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:06:33 AM
It wasn't an issue for your previous GF because that is all SHE knew. Some women are size queens. This new one probably hasn't had much (or any) experience with a smaller penis and before she got too invested, she bailed. Poor form I might add.

Couple of years ago I got involved with a man, and when it was time to get naked for the first time I took one look at him and inside my head I was thinking.. "Wow.. um.. well, let's see how this goes.." Never once said it, never once let on I had doubts. Turned out that man had mad skills. I'm SOOOO glad I gave him a chance.

Some girls will not give a guy a chance if she thinks he is not up to her usual standards. Those aren't worth your time or effort. Let 'em walk and don't worry about what they might think.

As to your questions... how long to keep it in your pants?? Until such time as you feel she is worthy of seeing, touching, tasting, f*cking it. Should you make the relationship stronger before getting naked? Absolutely. It's not a race to get laid. Might be nice to take your time to get to know someone and what they are into before you take your clothes off. My current guy.. was probably 6 to 8 wks before I got my hands on him. He's not huge, but he sure as sh*t get's the job done!!!

BTW.. it's only the first 2-3" of a vagina that matters. That's where the majority of the nerves are situated.
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 6
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:35:16 AM

I sooooooooooooo miss the days when forum posts showed up on profiles...



My question is should I try to make the relationship stronger

Do you really think waiting for the 2nd, 3rd, etc date would have made any difference to this women?
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 7
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:40:03 AM
Ditto what MsMicki said except for the part about size being compensated for technique.

For many women toys and oral won't 't compensate for a lack of size. It depends on the woman but you won't know until you try.

As far as letting the relationship get stronger before you avail yourself sexually - that's not going matter. If you choose a woman where size is an issue - then it's going to be an issues if you have sex when you first meet her or if you have sex 8 months down the line.

I wish men didn't have a problem with their penis size. Really I do because it breeds so much insecurity, resentment, and psychological and emotional problems in men. Penises are are an easy target because they are outside your body. But what people fail to realize is that vaginas come in different sizes too. And like penises, they expand and lengthen. Non-aroused, a vagina can be about 2-4 inches in length from cervix (inside where the vagina 'ends') to labia (the outside lips). Some women can stick a 3rd, 1/2, or their whole finger into their vaginas and actually feel their cervix because it's so near the front. But when aroused, these same vaginas can lengthen (meaning the cervix moves further back) and deepen (get wider) to accommodate penises anywhere from 4-7 inches and bigger and accommodate different girths. And all vaginas don't lengthen and widen the same amounts, but different - like all penises don't get erect at the same length but different. Some women are more comfortable accommodating smaller penises while some prefer to accommodate larger ones.

Having children, age, frequency of sex, and vaginal exercises called 'kegals' can change the size and shape of the vagina, but all that doesn't affect all women the same. Having babies usually does change the size and shape of the vagina but sometimes some women with 8 children may have a tighter vaginal canal than a woman with 2, 1, or no children. And don't assume that bigger (fatter) women have a bigger (looser) vaginal canal, or smaller woman have smaller (tighter) vaginal canals. Size of woman is not an indication of how loose or tight her vagina is - but a lotta people seem to think that (like hands and feet are NOT an indication of penis size but people tend to think so).

Men seem to love virgins for their tight vaginas - but the truth of the matter is that females are often unrelaxed, unsure, and have a lot of anxiety about sex their fist time - so their vaginas is not very relaxed and it creates a tighter feeling for a man. This can be the case with any women virgin or not who is not comfortable with the act of sexual intercouse (and if you are not a virgin when this happens then you often called 'frigid', but anyways.....} But once a virgin is relaxed, aroused, and ready to go - you may not even know she was a virgin because her vagina has lengthened, widened, and is offering more pleasure to herself and maybe to her partner.

So quit having so much anxiety about your penis. There are women out there that can and are willing to accommodate you and your size with her and her size. You can also try different positions to enhance that too. But since vaginas on are the inside, you won't be able to tell if yours is adequate until you bone them, or at the very least tell and ask them. As for oral sex, I dont see why penis size would matter. You would think women would like smaller penises for that - less to take in, less gagging.

So she wasnt the one for you. Find another.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 8
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:45:07 AM

BTW.. it's only the first 2-3" of a vagina that matters.

ahem.... sorry I will have to disagree with that.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 9
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:15:47 AM
If a woman has an issue with your size, there's really nothing you can do about it, because the problem is in her mind. What you can do about it is learn how to please a woman so then size does not become the only thing in your arsenal. Also, one thing to do is slow her down a little, it makes them go crazy because they are so used to men being the aggressor that when you slow them down, they think that is something wrong with them so they try harder. So you try to slow her down, and then start playing with her. If you are already intimate enough to touch anywhere, play with touching her, increase the foreplay until she is absolutely wet and cannot resist you. Only then allow her to move on the package. And at that point, she if she likes you then your size will not be an issue.
Now if you are well endowed, still do the above, but remember that it's not about your stylus, it's about her pleasure. Give her the pleasure craves. Everything else will follow.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 10
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:29:59 AM

do about it, because the problem is in her mind.

First, the problem is with him and not her. So she likes bigger penises, why does that have to be a problem? She can always find bigger penises so I'm sure that's not a problem for her and not wanting him is not a problem for her. It's only a problem for the guy that doesn't measure up because he feels he is lacking overall for every other woman he meets.

And it's not in her mind, it may be her vagina. Women know what they like, are use too, and want. They know what their mouths, vagina, and any other orafices like. You don't. So you can't say that her dislike with his penis was all in her mind.

But I tell ya, this inadequate size issue is all in his mind. He just aint met the right chick yet. And when he does, he'll forget all about that his penis may not be the 'right' size.
 luv2drinkchai
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 11
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:43:07 AM

BTW.. it's only the first 2-3" of a vagina that matters. That's where the majority of the nerves are situated.


I've always wondered about this, because it doesn't seem to make much sense to me. I can feel much more than 2-3" inside my vagina. Even if this was true, wouldn't a longer penis be better as you'd have more surface area friction on each stroke?

Then I read nappykat's post, and read something I already knew, but now it made sense...

But when aroused, these same vaginas can lengthen (meaning the cervix moves further back) and deepen (get wider)


I'm pretty sure when they check the anatomy, the woman is not particulary turned on, so wouldn't it make sense that those 2-3" of nerve endings actually stretch to 6-7" when the woman is aroused?

To the OP: Sorry about your experience. Do you know if your date was looking for a long-term relationship or just a sexual relationship? Perhaps if it was only a sexual relationship she was looking for, size matters to her more than some other women.

The other posters had good advice though.
 derfofraleigh
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 12
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:57:22 AM
Just remember, a 2" tongue will run a 10" pecker out of town any day! So don't sweat the size. Make this your matto: " it goes all the way in, and makes me happy. That's all that matters!".......
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 13
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:31:00 AM

she unzipped my pants and put her hand in and kind of let out a small gasp. She quickly pulled her hand out continued kissing for a while, and then she went to the bathroom, said she felt sick and left. I have not herd from her since; she will not return my calls. I always new I wasn’t going to be a porn star (Just shy of 5 inches) but I figured I was at least adequate and it wouldn’t be an issue.

OP -- It's only inadequate if YOU say it is. It's only an "issue" if YOU make it one.

So some chick went snake hunting and got spooked. So what? Was she the last woman on Earth and the rest of us just didn't get the memo?

C'mon now...

I'm hung like a lightswitch and that's never prevented me from bagging tail. Some chicks are fascinated with "porn-gear", and others not so much...as someone already pointed out, quite similar to how some men are fascinated with petite blond airheads with huge tits and long legs and some couldn't care less.

It's pretty sad how easily men and women get so discouraged after one human being slights them in any way. She's ONE chick. Out of a planet FULL of them. Her prompt "illness" will work to someone else's favor sooner or later, while she likely ends up with the big d!ck she wants and gets the "trailer park treatment" that generally accompanies it too.

Don't sweat it. Let things happen as they feel comfortable. Bet ya any money that not all the ladies will go "illin" when they sneak a grope on you. Don't let one chick discourage you so much.

You're better off without her I suspect.
 r90sboxer
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 14
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:36:25 AM
Anyway we went on a couple dates and started getting a little touchy back at my place and she unzipped my pants and put her hand in and kind of let out a small gasp. She quickly pulled her hand out continued kissing for a while, and then she went to the bathroom, said she felt sick and left.


Why did it have to relate to a "size" issue?
Maybe.....just maybe......the OP is a bit "premature" in his delivery and she didn't want to waste any more time[and time in the future]on something that quick?
After all.....he's the one that brought up size....not something he related that she actually said.
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 15
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:38:56 AM
How long? About 5 inches long. That's 4 more than she deserves, the tramp.

To be desirable you have to be at least a millionaire, over 6' tall, have a full head of hair, a flat stomach, and be well hung. If that's not your description then you are stuck like the rest of us whose instinct for love leads us to the madhouse of impossible romance. The cosmic joke is that women have their proper needs we cannot ever meet, yet hope is also bestowed and with it, as much comedy or frustration as you want.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 16
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 8:33:12 AM

Just remember, a 2" tongue will run a 10" pecker out of town any day!
Bullshit. Speak for the women you know because this ain't every woman. I'm always wary of guys who tout their 'tongue' lashings over fvcking. Makes me think that penis is inadequate.

This is what oral sex does for me - it makes me horny for a d!ck. Very horny.... for a penis. Or something like a penis. But I prefer a penis. And if you are lacking in that department, or you ain't got it up and ready, then oral sex can also make me aggressive. Very aggressive. Somebody is gonna get a tongue lashing - and I don't mean the good kind. Somebody is gonna get their feelings hurt, ant it ain't gonna be me. Somebody is gonna walk (if they can walk) out very unsatisfied, and it might be both of us or one of us - but if it's one of us it ain't gonna be me.

I suggest wherever you use that tongue, you still better have a****e ready.... just in case.

And I feel much deeper than 2-3 inches. I don't take well to teasing and if that's all you can do - that's teasing. That will piss me off.

People are always saying that size doesn't matter. What is that for? To make men feel better? Is that the non-sexual equavalent of faking an orgasm (which I never do and have never done, so I don't know what that is all about).

How many times do everyone have to tell you women are different. Sometimes I feel lacking because that whole 'stimulate the clit' thing never really works for me. As a matter of fact the only person that my clit likes to touch her is me because I'm gentle and know what I she likes. Concentrating on my clit is not going to do anything for me really. But for some ladies - that is the SHIT and the best and only way they can orgasm - through oral or stimulation of the clit. For those ladies, I guess size doesn't matter. But there are others, like me, who can, like, and prefer to get off with vaginal stimulation and penetration. And the deeper the more enticing. So size does matter - but that doesn't necessarily mean I need 10 inches. Again - vaginas lengthen at different measurements. So a 4-5 incher might go deep enough but you'll have to use all 4, 5, or 6 inches - NOT the 2 or 3 like someone mentioned.

But there are differences still. I heard those who can get off on the clit thing can have multiple orgasms. I usually don't. Didn't say I can't - I have but it's been rare. But the ones I do have are usually deep body-rocking and toe-curling.
 Gone To The Beach 09
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 17
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 8:59:40 AM
I would learn some serious foreplay techniques. Dr Joy Browne, a well known Radio Psychologist once said...For some women, foreplay IS the play.

If you're not a great kisser, learn how to be more in tune with your lover. If you can find a woman's G - Spot, that might be enough to send her over the edge. Often

There are also some great sex toys out there, that some women love. It's true that many women do not climax during intercourse. That's where your other skills come into good use. There's more power in your index and middle fingers than you know : )

While every woman is different, CONFIDENCE in yourself and your abilities is a turn on to most women. Just knowing what you can do, can make you more confident : )

So where you think that you are at least adequate, you can make the whole experience for your woman EXCEPTIONAL.

Too bad the woman you went out with was so shallow. The BIGGEST sex organ is the brain. Well, maybe not her's lol
 derfofraleigh
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 18
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:07:28 AM
Speak for the women you know because this ain't every woman


Nappy, chill..... it was not directed at any species what so ever. I'm trying to encourage the Op here. So stop taking opinions so personal...damn.

Guess we now know of two in the world to "keep it in your pants" now.
 Vicshe
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 19
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:48:57 AM
Maybe she wasn't expecting to find a penis in there.
 wolftxus
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 20
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:57:02 AM
It's the 'pvssy on a pedestal' thing. Are only women to decide whether it's good? Next time screw the fondling and get to it. I have yet to meet a woman who stops in the middle of it. Have men ever sent a woman packing because her genitals were too wide? That behaviour is just rude. Part of the me-me-me attitude of some women. If they need at least 7" they should say so. Remember how men are told to communicate better? Same for women. If she does not say or guesstimate, she should put up with it - and perhaps it turns out great, much like some non-millionaires can present good times to women while some richer guys don't cut it.

That girl might find her dream penis at the end of a drummer who still lives with his parents... If you encounter retreat and bathroom again (a sure sign it's over) because of this, turn the tables and tell her through the door that her tits are too big/small/ugly/bent out of shape and that you cannot have sex with her. She'll insult you for the next hour, but it will make her think and you feel better.

Or wrap a $100 bill around your d!ck. Women like to play with money... :-)
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 21
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 11:04:24 AM
You are very young and can do some extension exercise daily to make your size bigger.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 22
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 11:10:57 AM

Maybe she wasn't expecting to find a penis in there.


More seriously, and in some fashion responsive to the OP's question, and with due regard to my "light-switch" cannonballs into the nudity and exposure, I do get the general sense, from experience and these noble forum dialogues, that early on, most women are shocked when the c-ck is raised, whether by conversation or directly from the lap. In public fora, that snail's pace global warming of womanhood is cloaked in "good morals", "decency", "good taste", etc., etc.
While I have met exceptions to this rule, and even married one, that old saw about men being switch-onable like light bulbs while women are more like irons, with a looooooooooooooooooooong warm-up ramp, and a similarly sloped cool-down rate, seems fairly accurate.
If she reached readily to the center of your being so early on, she may well have been pushing herself to be "competitive" with what she imagined other women to be, or "edgy", or just whimsical, flighty and kinda curious. Morning-after regrets follow, inexorably, each of these things. Hey, OP, "coy", like curls, are for girls, lol, but next time, when she gets that zipper halfway down, gently push her hand away. Yeah, make her wait. Turn those tables! Immediate gratification! Gasp, what kind of boy do you think I am!!
Adolf Hitler used a similar approach in his rise to power; he would arrive punctually at speaking engagements to large crowds, but wait, and make his audience wait, til their patience was nearly at an end, stirred with occasional announcements by proxies that he was indeed enroute, and would arrive shortly. It always worked, his audiences were salivated, all lathered up, and most ready for anything he fed them, and that simple ploy pole-vaulted him to the top!
No rule, no prescription for success, is gonna work every time, so if you really feel you need a plan of approach, pushing her hand away gently at the last moment is gonna work more often, I think, than that "cheap slut" tack you took with this first lady. Women are generally pretty savvy, and they know almost all men are gonna swing at the first borderline bottom of the strike zone fastball. Decline it, Dude, and she will probably grow some respect for you. 'Course, better keep an eye out for those exceptions. Lol
 sweetiepi
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 23
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 11:16:36 AM
OP, maybe she wasn't concerned about the size? Maybe when you were surprised, she took it as a sign that you weren't ready for that yet, and maybe she was embarrassed that she had been so bold as to assume you were?

If it was the size, like others have said, there are some women who could care less, and there are others who prefer a larger penis. With all the people in this world, you are bound to find one of the "care lessers" who also meshes with you in terms of compatibility.

Oh and P.S. Your profile states
I like sex but I am not very experienced

I would take this statement out. First of all, women assume guys like sex (I know that not 100% do, but really... chances are, if they have a penis, they will like sex). Secondly, at 23, we wouldn't expect you to be super experienced. Even if you were a virgin, I don't think it is something you need to put in your profile (unless you are looking for intimate encounters.)
 derfofraleigh
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 24
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How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 11:20:45 AM
do some extension exercise daily to make your size bigger


I'm 51 y.o.....did I miss something out there?....
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 25
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 11:50:30 AM
You think you are old to know everything.
Because he said,

I wasn’t going to be a porn star (Just shy of 5 inches)...

Then I had the suggestion.
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