| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 4:39:35 AM | some of us think our ex is a waste . my ex and I are better freinds then when we were dating . even prime time shows are showing this . we can talk about anything . we know what NOT to talk about so not to hurt the other person . she knows " you are unemployed " are things that are not nice . I know NOT to talk about sex . we can talk about what is going on in the world . how things have changed in just 1 year . when we broke up we were  now we  | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 4:50:00 AM | Well good for you.
I personally don't have a need to be friends with someone who f ucked me over. I know there is forgiveness and that's all well and good but there are plenty of people in this world I rather find a good connection with.
everybody has an agenda. Even in friendship. I would rather be their friend or civil from very far away.
Leaving the sex talk out? Well doesn't that just mean they still affect you on some level?
Nah. That's okay. I just rather go make new friends.
I don't base my life on TV shows. That's fantasy. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:02:35 AM | | Goody for you. I personally choose to leave X's as what they are; "x's" I have enough people I can really count on and call a true friend. Not someone who one made my life okay sometimes and a pain in the ass other times. To me personally it is not normal to hang onto an x, not to mention try and have a relationship with someone new and have that as part of the picture. The people I have known who hang onto their X like this normally have more issues than are visible. They seem to have trouble being alone or dwell on their past. To me it is just weird. Like they cannot let go or cut ties when necessary then wonder why they are so effed up in the head later. If you cannot discuss sex, there is more of an issue there as well. Something tells me you ahve not "let go". Friends can talk to freinds about anything. In my world at least. No thanks, let x's be x's. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:31:32 AM | I'm in the same boat. I personally do not think my ex screwed me over, and I definitely did not do the same to him. It depends entirely on the reason for parting ways.
For us, being apart actually lessened the pressure on both of us, and so our friendship has blossomed. I even moved countries and we still talk on the phone and skype.
I am the kind of person that has a hard time burning bridges, so will either stay in contact with an ex, or will never speak to them again (no hurling insults or harbouring grudges).
I think it is healthy that you can be friends with an ex, however I do believe some breathing space was necessary for me, and for most people. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:35:06 AM | I used to feel that way, but I've found that maintaining ties to an ex means maintaining ties to the past. It means that you refuse to step away and take the necessary time to be alone...to take a good look at what you are and what you might need to improve upon to make the next relationship that much better.
I have plenty of friends, so I don't need ex's to fill that void. There are one or two ex's that I'm cordial with, but that is because our social circles overlap in places.
Of course...that's just my take on things. Your mileage may vary...
Paul ;) | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:25:26 AM | | I'm sorry but what is the point of this thread? to tell us that you're friends with your ex because Prime time television says its ok? That and $4.00 will get you a latte at Starbucks. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:42:35 AM | Friends with the ex?????? After what he did to me??? F*ck no!
I have NO desire at all to be friends with my ex. - He is in the past and he can stay there. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 2:58:56 PM | | Generally speaking, in my experience, you have to cut the cord to move on with your life. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:17:59 PM | you need to give us a whole lot more info on this subject, like how long were you together? and who broke it off with who? or was it a mutual agreement?
Without such info, this is a totally meaningless thread OKAY? | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:26:50 PM | It all depends on the circumstances. If the break-up/seperation was a mutual thing, that I don't see a problem remaining friends. However, if it was a one sided break-p (as is usually the case around here), then its more or less an impossibility, or would be severly difficult for a long time.
Am I still friends with my ex? No, she was a mistake that I learned from and moved on. May sound cold but thats just the truth of it. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/9/2009 11:16:07 PM | | I am friends with all my ex's...I can forgive and forget...remembering not to get involved again- of course. I cannot hold a grudge. Why should I be destroyed by negative emotion? | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:00:44 AM | I read your msg and I am trying to stay friends w my soon to be ex. I am finding it very difficult though. He met a girl and he slept at her house last night for the first time. I am trying to meet people on this site local to me to help me get over him.
Any suggestions
Lisa | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:21:26 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Your profile says you are single, yet you mentioned your soon to be ex.....which is it? Legally married, or divorced??????
Other people aren't going to help you "get over your ex". You have to help yourself "get over your ex". | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/16/2009 3:07:49 PM | | Paperwork has come back from the lawyer for us to sign yet. He's out there dating like I don't even exist. Very hurtful, believe me | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/16/2009 3:28:32 PM |
Paperwork has come back from the lawyer for us to sign yet. He's out there dating like I don't even exist. Very hurtful, believe me
I'll bet it is.
However, do not degrade yourself by getting into a tit for tat with your husband.
You will feel the worse for it. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/16/2009 3:32:11 PM | | I think its great when exs can remain to be friends. I think or know that what keeps this friendship from occuring is the expectation which doesnt play out as one or both of the relationship partisipants were expecting. Someone getting not what they wanted, results in a withdrawl of feelings, resentment, anger, or any other emotion which leaves a void between the parties. Harsh feelings keeps many from re-establishing a mutual friendship with someone you shared so much with. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/16/2009 3:53:49 PM | | Is this a broken hearts section or a glee club? ( where's the pukey emote?) | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/16/2009 4:04:13 PM | | The way how I feel, if things didn't workout during the relationship, What makes us all think hat its gonna work as friends. Chances are it wouldn't work out at all. In the long run, when you are in a relationship with our significant other, its gonna create problems big time. You gotta have that level of respect for your mates feelngs. Once i am done in a relationship with my exes, i am done. They did me wrong such as lied, cheated, kept secrets from me, they were shady, disrespectful, and decietful. They weren't a friend to me during the dating period, they are not gonna be a good friend in the long run. I have my circle of friends. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/16/2009 4:33:37 PM | I try to stay friends with all my ex's... I look at the good in them and do not pay any attention to the bad. I try to do this with everyone and hope the favor is returned.
They still possess the characteristics I liked so I value that part of them and now that I know the bad parts, and they know the bad parts of me, I hope for mutual acceptance. Occasional chats, or curiosity about how they are doing, seems normal to me since at one time they meant so much to me. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:41:13 PM | I am still friends with all my ex'es...not to say that they'd be my first port of call for coffee and stuff. But when there's an opportunity, I'd hang out, why the heck not. Prior to the break up, we had the best of times mucking about, sharing time and alright...we did bump uglies at one point.
Admittedly, I've never had to break up for anything nasty, apart from one...bloody cheat...but the rest were a classic case of growing apart...different focus and priorities...falling out of love and crap like that.
When I see them, I still slap their asses and I get told off all the effin time...afterwhich, I salute them with a wink....and they just comment/think that I've never changed...the same old rascal. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:00:24 AM | hmm, I do think it's possible to be friends with an ex, depending on why the breakup occurred. I tend not to be friends with lying cheaters, whether I dated them or not. However, assuming it was more of a growing-apart thing, it can happen. However, it is very important to take a step back from each other first, with no contact for at least a couple of months, possibly longer.
My recent sort-of ex (long story) told me yesterday "just don't stop talking to me. You're my best friend." About three times in a 10 minute conversation. This while he decided to start dating a girl 10 years younger than him before we really were over. Doesn't exactly make me want to be friends with him. I don't give a crap if I'm his best friend, he certainly isn't mine. Maybe my feelings will change a few months down the road, but right now I want to tear both their eyes out, so won't make much of a friend. lol I think once the lovey feelings are gone, and you're left with just the affection, you CAN come back and be friends. The question at that point is, do you still want to? | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:40:16 AM | | I relate to your story about the ex suppossively being my best friend. No way. He also is dating a girl that is 9 yrs younger them him before we are even divorced. Don't tear his eyes out, believe me, it's not worth it. Just try and move forward and their will always be another best friend out there. I'm still looking for mine !! | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:32:26 AM | When you 'ex's become friends, and lose that tag, then you had a good relationship
~sc~ | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:22:39 AM | Hmm - Gut response here. Garbage and tommy root!
Only when there are children involved in a divorce should there be an attempt at a civil friendship.
If a couple are really good friends than they wouldn't be divorced.
If I were to met a man who is still 'friends' with his ex I would not want to get involved with him. Someone is still carrying a torch for someone.
When I come across people who have been really hurt by ex's for instance the case of adultery - I would not encourage them to be friends with a person of such low character. I have better taste in friends.
Now someone may be kind and understanding to an ex. if they have some type of problem but that is not a real friendship, it is more like polite charity work.
For example a man marries an schziophrenic and then divorces her that is a little bit of a different case. He might be the only that can remind her to take her meds.
Anyway to each his own but now I know another thing to ask fellows that contact me. "How friendly are you with your ex?"
[this internet stuff gets more and more enlightening] | |
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