| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 6:54:51 AM | If this has been asked before, I'm sorry..I don't have time to go thru every thread :)
This is primarily for the men but I'd love to hear anyone's take.
I'm very interested in a man on here but trying not to be too forward or write too much, if even to say have a good day. Since we did do a little chatting back and forth and responding within the same day, if I space it out now will he think I've lost interest? We're both insanely busy and my life ISN'T on here but yeah I look forward to seeing a note from him.... he has read the last couple I sent but not responded and I'm trying not to take it personally :) He was on when I signed on and I fought not saying anything... we've spoke on the phone as well and he's expressed interest..
HELP heheheh | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:04:06 AM |
he has read the last couple I sent but not responded .
Usually no response = no interest...especially if you've noticed him online.
Sorry, but sounds like this guy isn't interested anymore. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:08:44 AM | | I think Tracy's right. Those who are interested will stay in touch and suggest that you meet face to face. If he's suddenly not taking an interest in returning your messages, it probably indicates someone else has caught his eye. I'm sorry. :( | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:11:00 AM | | We are trying to get together...working opposite hours kind of hinders it .. the weird thing is, I woke to 2 emails from him yesterday...and I hadn't written for 2 days prior. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:18:36 AM |
We are trying to get together...working opposite hours kind of hinders it .
Listen, I don't want to take the wind out of your sails, but it sounds like this guy might be too much trouble. If he's 'too busy' to message you, then how are you planning on dating him.
What worries me the most about your posts is that you seem so 'into' this guy - but you haven't met him in person or even chatted on the phone. He is a stranger, you don't even know him.... | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:22:58 AM | | HAHA no I'm not into him like that, I'm not a kook...I mean I like him from our talks etc......NO nothng can be determined til we meet. And I said interested in NOT into :) I guess I didn't word the question right...do MEN look at it as a lack of interest if women back off? | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:28:01 AM | OP: Why space out the correspondence? You like him - respond to his emails and maintain the lines of communication open.
He's probably playing the same "game" as you - spacing out communications and/or corresponding with other women. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:35:25 AM | I stopped questioning myself and my feeling along time ago.
I do what I feel completely natural doing. If the person sees it as anything other then me just being me and has a problem with it, it's all good. It just shows me right off the bat that it's just not meant to be.
I realised that as soon as I start doing what "I think" other would like to hear or see me do, I have sold myself out and nothing I do from that point on will be 100% me. And when I'm not being 100% me, I will never feel complete, even if it gets me what I wanted so bad. The joy of having it will never be as fulfilling as it should be. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:53:08 AM | do MEN look at it as a lack of interest if women back off?
well for me when a woman is interested she'll make it clear. She'll txt, call, and be willing to meet in person. Usually i call or txt once if she doesn't respond after two days i will delete her #. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:05:18 AM | OP you're too old to play these games. You like someone, you call - you initiate - you don't back off....
And yes! backing off means; no interest.... | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 12:32:19 PM |
he has read the last couple I sent but not responded and I'm trying not to take it personally
Don't take it personally. You haven't even met. Right now he's just words on a screen.
Like the old saying goes, "don't put all your eggs in one basket." Keep talking to other people.
No need to "back off," unless you mean "not sending him multiple emails a day." In that case, yeah, ease up. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 12:40:14 PM | | If he isn't asking questions, he's probably not all that interested. If I start chatting and I noticed no questions are being thrown towards me, I just stop messaging. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 12:50:55 PM |
he has read the last couple I sent but not responded
"I'm ignoring you" usually mean "I'm not interested"
I'm trying not to take it personally
But it IS personal. He's ignoring you because he's not interested in you personally.
Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you; just means he's not interested. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 3:12:00 PM | | I don't get back to people right away either my POINT or question was DO MEN take it as not interested as women do...??? You all don't read the questions or topics, huh? :) | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 3:22:32 PM |
he has read the last couple I sent but not responded and I'm trying not to take it personally
If you want my advice (and even if you don't) I'd say don't do this. Don't check if read/when read. It's hard I know, and I sometimes cheat myself. But it's the best way, or then you'll get caught up on trying to guess all the why's and wherefores, and 2nd guessing yourself. Like you are now.
People worth knowing are busy people. You say so yourself. Also you seem perilously on the edge of beginning to play tit-for-tat games. Don't you know who you are? Be yourself. Don't you know your style (of communicating)? Stick to it. Then IF you're compatible, and IF he is into you (and vice versa), and IF he has time to get a relationship off the ground (and vice versa), then it'll be.
Anyhow, until you've met it's all pie in the sky anyhow - don't invest any emotion (beyond some hope) in it at all.
All IMHO of course :) | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 4:15:04 PM |
my POINT or question was DO MEN take it as not interested
Yeah pretty much. I can't think of a single time where someone did this (no reply/contact for days on end) and ended up being really interested. Like others have said, nobody is so busy they can't fire off an email or a text, it's the crappiest excuse EVER. No contact=no interest.
Now of course the contact in question can be extremely brief and to the effect of 'hi i'm not forgetting about you, im busy but lets plan to meet next weekend'. That took all of 30seconds, and it shows they are thinking of you. Personally I'm not a fan of phones or constant contact of the 'how was your day' nature. I can do without this entirely, but I make sure I'm making plans to go out with the woman so she knows I'm not slipping away into obscurity. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 4:44:50 PM |
Since we did do a little chatting back and forth and responding within the same day, if I space it out now will he think I've lost interest?
Probably. But it also sounds like you might as well stop writing anyway. He has. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 5:13:07 PM | I'm with the others, I believe he's lost interest. I'm sorry.
I'm also with The Rock Man - I do what I want to do, damn the various "rules". I'm too old to play these games (I'm not saying you're playing games here btw) and if someone thinks I'm too forward/chatty/enthusiastic then you know what?, it's not a good match anyway. I know when to stop though, one or two mails of mine that are read and don't get a reply - it's over, the interest fizzled, and I let it go.
What I do is send the message, then delete it from my sent list. That way I can't see if it's read or :gulp: read/deleted. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:16:27 PM |
I realised that as soon as I start doing what "I think" other would like to hear or see me do, I have sold myself out and nothing I do from that point on will be 100% me. And when I'm not being 100% me, I will never feel complete, even if it gets me what I wanted so bad. The joy of having it will never be as fulfilling as it should be.
That's GOOD !!!!!!!!.......and exactly how I FEEL!!!
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:52:30 PM | | That's exactly why its important not to invest too much emotional time and energy in someone until you've actually met them in person. You may think you have a connection with someone online, and it might even be true to some extent, but you're still guessing at one another's motivations when you're sitting there waiting for them to respond to a message, or see them online and wonder if or when they'll say hello. Yes you can be busy, but it seems a lot easier to be too busy to write (and thus ignore) when its someone you don't really know. Once you've met and found mutual attraction and interest, you'll make the time to talk or see each other regularly, no matter how full your schedule. | |
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| implication of lack of interest?
Posted: 10/9/2009 11:10:21 PM | | I've gone out with women on here who consistently took a week to reply to a message. Frankly it was a pain in the ass to communicate, especially when it came to setting up a date. As a general rule if she doesn't reply back in 1 or 2 days I assume she won't ever respond again. And having had experience with the women who don't reply for a week on end, well I'm never dealing with that headache again. If you're interested you will make the time, end of story. | |
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