| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:40:59 AM | I am not going to put a ton into this thread's meaning as I think it will unfold by itself.
Here is my question.
Do we get weirder the longer we are single?
To qualify, I mean do we become more set in our ways (which might come across as odd) do we start to become introverts?
I always thought people that were single for a long period of time were a little "out there". SO
Basically, do we become weirder the longer we are on our own? | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:43:32 AM | Nah, I've been 'weird' for forever. 'Course, I've been single most of that time, too.
Hmmm, does make one ponder...... | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:45:30 AM | I'll probably catch hell for saying it, but, my dad always said,
If you want to see your future , meet her mother ! | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:46:01 AM | This is an interesting topic so I hope this won't be bombed out of existence.
I think the longer people are single the more out of touch with dating we get. Yet everyone argues that during this time we develop "healthy" love for ourselves. That may or may not be true.
So my vote is yes the longer we are single the more "weird" we appear to others but sometimes it is a necessary thing to go through. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:47:19 AM | Not having an SO constantly has nothing to do with becoming an introvert. That's about people in general, not an SO in particular. If you are an introvert, you aren't big on huge social interactions and groups - regardless of who you're dating.
And people whether single or involved become more set in their ways as they get older because they've learned from experience what they do and don't want to deal with.
Single is just a place you end up sometimes in life - who you are should have nothing to do with your status. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:47:28 AM | | Not necessarily weird, but I've definitely noticed my single friends becoming pretty set in their ways. The introverts seem more likely to cultivate eccentricities, out of sheer boredom, I think. The extroverts rarely spend time alone, and seem to have a full calendar of activities and people to do them with, so they seem pretty normal to me. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:48:14 AM | | Yeah - I've definitly become more introverted, and a bit of a loner since I became single... | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:49:13 AM |
Do we get weirder the longer we are single?
Not sure why you would think being "set in one's ways" is "weird". IMO; we all get set in our ways after a certain age regardless if we are single or not.
I do enjoy my time/space alone, and often wonder how it would be sharing this. But it won't deter me from doing so.
Introvert - never. I'm too much of a Social Butterfly as my family says......... | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:51:58 AM | | I believe Manhattan has the highest number of singles, living separate with the highest individual incomes. I think living independently is a good thing. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:57:04 AM | | Only if you stop being social and buy a few cats and start having one way conversations with them instead. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:05:05 AM |
Do we get weirder the longer we are single?
From a person who has been called weird before I can say... No, single doesn't necessarily equal weirdo... My exes thought I was strange... while I was with them. My friends thought I was strange and made fun of me and my choices regularly... Some of us are just naturally considered weird because we unintentionally march to the beat of our own drum; ie. have our own way of looking at things that may be unpopular in the dating world...
Though we could possibly prolong our singledom by refusing to make an effort to fit in with the social norms that everyone else is following. Unfortunately people still put much stock into being "hip" and I always thought that was just a high school thing. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:06:12 AM | Are you thinking that perhaps people in relationship are the norm?
Do they not become set in their ways?
Married or attached individuals can also be introverts.
Perhaps many become weirder with age and circumstance.
Not sure that being single is the sole cause of weirdness.
But, hey, I could always be wrong. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:14:35 AM | | It certainly does. To be able to live day after day among women and without having one to pester up close and personal is a truly deranging experience. I passed weird a long ways back and have become so convoluted and strange in my approach to frustration that the shock of intimacy would probably fry all of my circuits and render me daft. The adaptation has thoroughly estranged me from normalcy. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:20:53 AM |
Only if you stop being social and buy a few cats and start having one way conversations with them instead.
I disagree...I talk to my dog...all the time. It is when it becomes a dialog......
I think the weirdness is more of a cause...than effect.
Let's face it....if you're gonna hook up with Sybil....you need to be open to many things...including multiple partners.
"Set in your ways" isn't always a bad thing. It could be "being yourself". | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:21:35 AM | No, not weird.
Being single doesn't mean you have to spend time by yourself.
Spending a lot of time alone can cause you to get stuck in your ways, though.
I think we find ourselves spending a bit more time alone as we get older, so I think growing older effects this.
Subsequently, as friends get married, as social circles shrink, we find ourselves with some spare time on our hands.
The important part is stay active, stay busy, stay involved.....don't become a unibomber locked in a cabin in the woods just because you don't have a sweetie... | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:27:33 AM |
Subsequently, as friends get married, as social circles shrink, we find ourselves with some spare time on our hands.
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This has been my problem. Since I've been single, I've really been excluded for many, if not most, things with 'friends'. No one wants the single girl around their hubbies, I suppose. And I'd like to add that I would never feel like a 3rd, 5th,7th,9th wheel.
Sometimes I feel like I should wear a scarlet "S" on my shirt...
So, yeah - I spend loads and loads of time talking to my dog  | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:32:45 AM | I think eccentricities develop. Personality traits become more pronounced and enhanced.
I do think we get used to ourselves and it may be harder to let someone else in and perform necessary compromises. Habits become more ingrained and I think it can be more difficult to make adjustments. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:37:13 AM |
It certainly does. To be able to live day after day among women and without having one to pester up close and personal is a truly deranging experience. I passed weird a long ways back and have become so convoluted and strange in my approach to frustration that the shock of intimacy would probably fry all of my circuits and render me daft. The adaptation has thoroughly estranged me from normalcy. I have just recinded the nobel peace prize from Obama and given it to Farceur......yes, the shock of intimacy did fry my circuits, especially after losing it and being dumped back into the pond...... | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:38:15 AM | In school, the kids labeled me weird b/c I noticed what was going on around us, and commented on it. They were too busy trying to copy from other people, what it meant to act cool. So maybe I'm biased in my view of becoming weird :)
If you live alone, have few friends...then you do tend to turn inward. Things that matter only to you, take great import, and you try to share them with people who have their own problems.
If you become so set in your ways, you can't turn it off for a few hours of a date...then yes, you entered the "Weird" zone  It would help your maturity to learn there is a world outside your head, and it is really worth visiting.
but, you can be single, and still realize other people have their own problems, you don't NEED to be the center of attention, just b/c you are the center of your own world. That learning about other people is worthwhile. Et cetera. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:01:11 AM |
Basically, do we become weirder the longer we are on our own? IMO, no. Some coupled people get weirder. Some single people become more normal. Others maintain their weirdness quotient. Nothing to do with relationship status. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:06:40 AM | You're saying all married people are "normal"?! LOL
I have my quirks, like in the pantry I !REQUIRE! that the labels be facing out on the canned goods. Keeping the bathroom sink clean and free of hairs and toothpaste and gunk !REQUIRED!
But I don't care which side of the bed I sleep on, I don't care about the toilet seat. I'm not a stickler for a lot of things. Each person brings quirks--what if he !REQUIRED! that I make the bed every day? UGH! But I'd do it for the right guy (actually, I do it for my sister when we share a room on vacation). Some things seem to be not much effort for a big payout if you do them, so I do them even though I don't want to do them.
I don't have a lot of ego tied up in day-to-day things. But here's another quirk *I* have: I HATE CONTROLLERS. I come from a family where everyone is a huge control freak, and if you don't do something their way, you ARE WRONG and STUPID. (I'm the youngest, so I never get my way.) So, while I like a man in control of himself and his life, I do NOT want a man who feels the need to control ME. I'm doing just fine without his direction. I tend to push back in these cases. Hard. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:22:08 AM | Honestly, I think the terms "weird" or "normal" are totally entirely relative. Usually they are used as terms to describe something or someone that is different. We are all different...and imagine what a boring world it would be if everyone were the same.
Take me for instance...
I'm 27 years old and I've lived alone for pretty much all of those 27 years...granted I was taken care of as a child by my mother, but for the most part she worked and did her own thing and so did I. I have never had a girlfriend or any sort of intimate relationship with a woman at all, ever (no I'm not gay). I kissed a girl once, well, actually she kissed me. I was drunk at a party and she kinda came and sat in my lap and started kissing me...I went along with it until I was pulled aside by a friend who told me she was married. I did not know, but that was the end of that. It was kinda cool though.
I could not even imagine what it would be like to have a girlfriend (or wife) that I could kiss every day and have intimacy with and all that stuff. It would probably blow me away, who knows. It probably would be pretty cool.
So yeah, probably to most of the world, I am very weird, wrong, abnormal or whatever term you want to use.
However, to a Tibetan monk, who never has any contact with a woman his entire life, I'm probably pretty normal. It's all relative. | |
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| Single... does it equal weird?
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:23:09 AM |
Single is just a place you end up sometimes in life - who you are should have nothing to do with your status.
OK, now let's have farceur pass that Nobel Prize on to WIP,who has nailed why some people can be perfectly fine with being single at times, or even an extended time, letting the Universe unfold as it's meant to.While others are constantly putting their emotional ass through a dating/relationship wringer just so they can seem more socially OK ,because their life is ruled by what other people think.
Cindy O | |
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