| Communicating every day
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:06:56 PM | I searched for this topic and didn't find anything so I figured I'd throw this question out there to both guys and girls. And don't go assuming I'm asking these questions for validation either, just wondering what people's opinions are :)
In the beginnings of a new relationship... For you personally, how often is the minimum to talking, whether it be through the phone, text, or e-mail? If consistent daily contact doesn't exist, what do you usually think? I want honest answers!
Me... There's some days where I just need my space.  | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:11:12 PM | | space is fine for dating ...when you find the one you love you wont think about your space ...and if he is that into you also he wont have need for his space either | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:12:02 PM | | I'm good with talking 2-4 times a week. Maybe getting together twice. I'm one for space too...combined with a social life, a job, school and downtime I don't have time to spend every waking moment with someone. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:23:24 PM | I think it is different for everyone.
It probably depends on how much you are into the guy.
If you are just casually dating you probably wont expect a phone call every day.
If you are head over hill that is a whole different ball game | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:43:40 PM | There's a difference between a new relationship and dating
a new relationship, where we had been dating for some time and had become committed- every day, just to say hello. But NO 3-4-5-10 hour phone conversations like I've seen people here wax poetic about. And no texting
dating- a couple of times a week, maybe 3 times at most | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:53:41 PM | | Some use communication as a control tool. Beware of those who will text you ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. 'Specially if they get angry when you don't answer or don't answer quick enough. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 10/9/2009 11:26:37 PM | Yeah OP, nothing wrong with some space. But still like hearing her voice. Even if only for a couple mins, or vice versa to let her know, Im hardcore thinking about/ missing her.  Whatever works, for the people involved.
PS, definitely think that song, hold on loosely comes into play. Esp when Uve met a person your crazy about, like never before. Can be easy to take something that should be enjoyable too seriously and lose perspective. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:29:56 PM | Well, I communicate with people when I'm at work everyday. (I sit in a gaurd shack and have nothing better to do.) But sometimes people just need their space. I suppose it just depends on the person. Some people have to talk everyday (whether it be because they are needy, worrisome, etc...) Others don't because they either A) Don't think that anything has happened significant enough to call and tell them. B) They aren't used to calling someone and you aren't exactly on the top of their list. or C) They only think about you in fleeting moments and honestly don't care how you are and what your doing. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:43:50 PM | Assume beginnings means early days or weeks. Once every three days would be more than enough, since I assume the man like myself, has a job and other interests. When seriously dating a few times per week. Once a couple, a few times per week. Daily calls/texting would drive me nuts.
And I don't need some clingy, needy, insecure person in my life. One should be able to talk and connect when together. Even when married one doesn't need to be calling/texting daily unless there is something important to be discussed or the occasion 'love note'.
~Beth~ | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:56:09 PM | | In the beginning of a new relationship 2-3 times per week would be sufficient. If consistent daily contact doesn't exist, then I think that things are going at a healthy pace. If she contacts me everyday, then I'll think that she's too needy. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:57:59 PM | It seems the younger you are, the more often and the longer you want to talk to each other, at least at the beginning. I'm an OOF, and juuust getting back into the mix, so I'm not sure what my pace will be, but I'm sure it wont be any where near what my teenage sons indulge in.
You sound unusually rational for a mere wisp of a shadow of a tiny youngster of a twenty year old. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:01:03 PM | | I usually follow the pace of the person I am dating, also depending on how interested I am in them. I can't stand talking on the phone and usually make that pretty clear from the beginning, I save phone calls for firming up plans, giving directions, etc. However, I find that typically when dating someone there is usually a few texts that will pass back and forth through the day. Good Morning, later in the day, how's it going, then in the evening, how was your day, Good Night type of thing. Again, I don't establish this, I just respond to the texts when I get them, and every guy is different. I don't want anyone who is going to monopolize my time from the beginning, but at the same time, I'm not real thrilled if it's been 5 days and I haven't heard from them either, I tend to kind of interpret that as disinterest. I guess if I had to "set a frequency" I would say at least once every 2-3 days, just a hey, what's up, with maybe some idea of when they would like to get together again. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:06:01 PM | | OP: As long as they aren't blowing up our phones, and clocking in it's all good. I enjoy the newness of a relationship, asking how their day went, etc... and bouncing things off each other. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:06:04 PM | I like texting during the day.... short sweet messages here and there. Daily phone calls can be a bit much. I have been in situations where she's called once a day and I have nothing "new" to add to the conversation - I have nothing really to say so the conversation gets dull, quickly.
I also don't play that "the guy should be the first to call" teenage BS nonsense. If you're interested or have something to say, call me... if not then no hard feelings. If I don't hear from her in a week's time I usually just detele the number and move on. She's not interested. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:14:02 PM | Usually for me if it's in the beginning there seems to be that daily type communication for at least the first couple weeks, since we're getting to know each other.."can't get enough of each other phase" daily phone calls, and frequent outings.
Once you get settled into a relationship phone calls seems to cease perhaps day in between or 3x week type of thing, since there's more security in the relationship, it's more settled in. That's the way I usually go about it. But I def don't mind the calls if it's someone I'm interested in, it just shows they really want to get to know you and how else can you do that without seeing each other or chatting it up on the phone? | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:21:58 PM | | I suppose as much or as little time as you have in order to feel how the relationship is going. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:37:37 PM | | Texting isn't my thing at all, so we can rule those out for me. As far as talking on the phone, I try to get a sense of what she is comfortable with, as well as communicating with her about what I feel comfortable with; the worst thing you can do is meet someone you click with and then kill it with being a pest, constantly calling. At the beginning of an exclusive dating situation, what usually works for me is a couple times a week, and maybe an email now & then to let her know I was thinking of her. As long as that goes both ways and she is reciprocating (meaning she picks up the phone too, and isn't just sitting there waiting for me to always call her), I'm happy and looking forward to knowing her better. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:00:37 PM | When I bought my first car I was so excited.....whenever I parked it for the night I couldn't wait to get back in it just so I could show it off while driving around even if it was just driving to work....
When I got my in ground pool I couldn't wait to swim in it everyday
When I put the christmas tree up I can't wait to get home everyday and turn the lights on
When my kid got x-box he couldn't wait to get home every day after school to play it
Meeting someone you really like is no different. You can't wait to hear their voice, see them in person, steal a kiss, get a hug, hear them laugh, spend time with them ya da ya da ya da
Personally for me when I meet someone and start dating and I really like him, I'd want to hear from them daily. When it comes to seeing them, that is different I don't have a need to have to be with someone daily once or twice a week is fine. But to be able to just hear from them when I can't see them well that keeps my interest going not that I bore easily but with meeting guys online I do.
So if I meet a guy whom I talk to every now and then I find that I loose interest pretty quick but the one's who communicate with me often are the one's I tend to gravitate towards.....communication is huge for me and that's just me!!
Besides I want someone for the long haul, someone who invests the equal time in getting to know me not someone who every now and then calls and says 'hey whats up, you want to go out' type thing the hell with that, that is what my friends are for.....
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:48:28 PM | | Sex has to be daily, but if she doesn't want to talk, that's OK. Sometimes a lot doesn't happen new one day to the next. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:58:35 PM |
In the beginnings of a new relationship... For you personally, how often is the minimum to talking, whether it be through the phone, text, or e-mail? If consistent daily contact doesn't exist, what do you usually think? I want honest answers!
OP -- My answer is precisely 104 hours. LOL.
There's 1440 hours to go around in a 2 month (60 day) stretch. I consider this the "new" or honeymoon phase of any relationship. In that time, I estimated roughly 4 hours per week to communicate plus an average 8 hours for "date night" which would happen a minimum of weekly.
So 104 hours is how much time one could expect me to invest into the "newness" of the relationship.
Any more is pretty much suffocation.
JMO. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 8:09:43 PM | | Every day or two is fine for me as I like a little space too. I do like to go out a couple times a week but I don't have to talk to her every day. | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 8:13:40 PM |
ooobaby wrote:01 When I bought my first car I was so excited.....whenever I parked it for the night I couldn't wait to get back in it just so I could show it off while driving around even if it was just driving to work....When I got my in ground pool I couldn't wait to swim in it everyday. When I put the christmas tree up I can't wait to get home everyday and turn the lights on When my kid got x-box he couldn't wait to get home every day after school to play it
Just goes to show how different people can be.
When I bought and paid for the new car, it was a car to get me from here to there, and not to show off. When we bought the home with the pool it was for fitness and when friends and family are here, and not something I even looked to jump into the first weeks we were in the home. The holiday tree is just a tradition for me. Heck I even forget to turn the lights on when home alone.
Thus I think there are some people who when they get something new they feel a need to embrace it full force. And then there are those of us who look at the new person in our life as someone whom we appreciate and like being around, but not someone to smother and thus scare away.
Its all about finding ones equal I think.
~Beth~ | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 8:59:43 PM | | My view is that you have to feel out one another on how the relationship is progressing. If he is not complaining about talking to you everyday for 1 hour then so be it. You have to know where that comfort level is. Another thing, most men dont like talking for long on the phone unlike me. So if he is one of those were you hear silence and crickets often, then yes, maybe a good time to call it a night and hang up! | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 9:56:19 PM |
When I bought and paid for the new car, it was a car to get me from here to there, and not to show off. When we bought the home with the pool it was for fitness and when friends and family are here, and not something I even looked to jump into the first weeks we were in the home. The holiday tree is just a tradition for me. Heck I even forget to turn the lights on when home alone.
Yes people are truly different.
I never owned an in-ground pool my analogy was to show how people get excited about everyday things in their lives because it is NEW.
But I do have to admit my excitment of turing on the xmas lights never wore out.....
And then there are those of us who look at the new person in our life as someone whom we appreciate and like being around, but not someone to smother and thus scare away.
Define 'smother', for if it is not of your equal can the definition of 'smother' exist?
The analogy I showed is factual and does not govern attributes that could be labelled as 'smothering', 'scary', 'clingy' or co-dependent for that matter.
People get excited about things in life and that includes a new 'love' interest.
I do see your lack of excitment in the quotes you associated with my reference but I am sure there are things you get excited about in your life. It may not be the tradition of Christmas or the mobile transports or water fitness but I am sure you would be excited if you met a new love interest.
Live life, love life and SMILE that is what truly gets me excited  | |
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| Communicating every day
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:07:35 PM | | I'm sort of a lone wolf about the whole communication thing. In a new relationship in my real life...I'll go 3-4 days without communicating. More than that and I feel penned in. | |
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