online dating service
REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

 

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest 100% free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Would really appreciate a once over.      Mod Threads Home login  
Page 1 of 1
 Author Thread: Would really appreciate a once over.
 Icarus24

Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Would really appreciate a once over.
Posted: 10/10/2009 7:53:44 PM
Hello everyone,

I would really like some feedback on my profile.
It's hard to really know how you present yourself from your own eyes and I think I could use an extra pair or two ( if you only have one good eye thats cool too). But all in all I would really appreciate some feed back.
 SeekAdventure25

Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Would really appreciate a once over.
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:19:19 AM

Well hello and thanks for stopping by.

Delete


To be honest this is probably the 4th or 5th time I've re-written this thing. I find it hard to believe that you can really capture your personality in a little text box.

She's never met you or heard what you have to say, so you start out whining? Delete.


So just a few things about me

Your profile is a list. Organize some paragraphs.


I was brought up by a single mother and I love her.

Everyone should love their mother. But don't mention it here. It's about you, not your mom.




I'm a Pastafarain and we believe women should be the ones to make the first move, so please feel free to do so! (I'm really not kidding its in the Gospel)

You better get over it. On this site, some girls NEVER search for guys or go look at profiles on random. They get so many emails a day that they only have time for the guys that made the effort to send them one. That means you lose.


Your list isn't that bad and is interesting in a way. But usually when someone sees a list, they skip it anyways, and never see the though in it.
 LilyVee

Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Would really appreciate a once over.
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:38:30 AM
Your second picture is much better suited for a profile picture. The one you have now we are unable to tell how handsome you are.

You have already been given great advice, so I am going to second what SeekAdventure has said.



I'm a Pastafarain and we believe women should be the ones to make the first move, so please feel free to do so! (I'm really not kidding its in the Gospel)

Interesting .. I have read the gospel of Pastafararin, and I do not recall this passage.
Book of Fusilli, perhaps? *wink*

Good luck in your search.
 luvnlife2

Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Would really appreciate a once over.
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:39:49 AM

I'm going to college in pursuit of an education degree in math
Most women in your age group are not looking for dates online, so your main venue for meeting women should be at school. What problems have you had with that?
 Icarus24

Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Would really appreciate a once over.
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:00:36 AM
Thanks guys/gals
I'll get on tweaking it soon.


Interesting .. I have read the gospel of Pastafararin, and I do not recall this passage


You're right I cant seem to find it perhaps I miss interpreted something or maybe I was touched by his noodly appendage, but regardless I will remove it, no reason to spread mis information about us pastafarians.


Everyone should love their mother. But don't mention it here. It's about you, not your mom.


You provide a valid point, I was questioning whether or not i should leave it. But I suppose I should remove it now.


Your profile is a list. Organize some paragraphs.


I like lists they're nice and easy to read, short and to the point and I thought it might help stand out from every other paragraph based profile. But seeing how everyone seems to agree with this point I'll try the paragraph format out.


She's never met you or heard what you have to say, so you start out whining? Delete.


Damn, didn't realize that sounded like I was whining.


Your second picture is much better suited for a profile picture. The one you have now we are unable to tell how handsome you are.


Thank you! I just changed it.


What problems have you had with that?


Rather long story and I'm sure no one wants to hear it but it boils down to is being a rather small school and no one seems interested.
 You go first

Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Would really appreciate a once over.
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:43:44 AM
- correct the spelling mistake in your headline (you'll find it)
- I like the line about visiting home more often if there were someone there to visit... why not add " Hint, Hint..."
- the line about the seahorses would be chuckle-worthy if you added, "but I wonder where they get the little jockeys" or something like that.
- get rid of the stupid little dash thingies so it doesn't read like a list. If you can put a couple of the sentences together and make a few little paragraphs, it won't feel so random and disconnected.
- I'm allowed to use the stupid little dash thingies because it's not my profile, so there.
- Why not add a line or two about who you are hoping to meet here? Use positive language only.
- when you are sending introductory messages, keep them light and casual. Mention one thing specific from her profile, make an appropriate comment and ask a question.

Good luck!
 Icarus24

Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Would really appreciate a once over.
Posted: 10/11/2009 12:32:02 PM

- correct the spelling mistake in your headline (you'll find it)


Alas, proof reading, not one of my strong points. Professors are always telling me that.
Thank you, fixed it.

As for the rest of your suggestions I will get to them in time.
Page 1 of 1
 
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Would really appreciate a once over.