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 inarms
Joined: 10/15/2008
Msg: 1
Do older women fancy quite younger men?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
To some... this post straight away may lead to the thought of sex but definitely isn't.
I'm talking about friendships, relationships, just a chat, or a shoulder to lean on.
Recently I've noticed I am attracted to older women, not for one night stands, not for any childish fantasy, but to seriously get to know someone and take part in a relationship, whether it be friendship or more.

I've just never seen any interest in me by an older women..
So I've felt very one-sided to this feeling.

Are you older than me? Do you fancy younger men?

Reply :)
 Gem With Flaws
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 2
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:03:25 PM
I have met many younger guys, it just depends on their mentality.

It's a hard bet and hedges either way depending on the participants.
 Hilly1971
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 3
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:05:49 PM
Depends how much older then you we are talking about really.
I quite like a bloke a few years younger then me...they tend to be prettier and ...umm...more useful!

But I would feel a bit like a dirty old bint dating someone as young as you...not my cup of tea really.
 suz1975
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 4
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:14:16 PM
I guess it really depends on the woman herself as well as the maturity level of the guy. I recently did find a 20 year old attractive but he acted with a fair bit of confidence. Normally 2 or 3 years younger is as far as I want to go mainly because I feel like we then have more to talk about and more common interests. (I am new to these forums by the way so hi everyone)
 inarms
Joined: 10/15/2008
Msg: 5
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:18:04 PM
Thank you everyone that has posted, I honestly appreciate it, I guess I won't find a lady much older than me...
But doesn't hurt to look I guess.

xo
 Hilly1971
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 6
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:30:10 PM
Ok being serious for a moment...which is very unlike me!

How much older then you are we talking? If its like a decade plus have you seriously considered the down sides?

Like having to consider taking on someone elses kids? Knowing you may never be able to have kids yourself because your chosen partner is too old? That when you are 30 and still in your prime, your partner could be looking more like your mother?

I reckon its just a phase...explore it but dont take it too seriously.

Trust me I know this stuff...im an old bird!
 inarms
Joined: 10/15/2008
Msg: 7
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:34:45 PM
Well there's nothing to explore if it's not even happening.
No matter the downsides, one can't help attraction.
I've taken note of everything, pros and cons...
I still want to try...
If that's possible.
 Gem With Flaws
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 8
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:40:08 PM
Just keep rolling with the punches, the right person will come into your life eventually.

That's what I keep telling myself.

Eventually I might believe it.

But don't get hung up on an age or appearance, get hung up on how you want her to make you feel.

I hear that lasts longer .. and yeah but don't think with just one head LOL .. I think I was being Captain Obvious here ...

Good luck
 JustJase
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 9
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:21:38 AM
Inarms,

Always a hard one to fathom. Ask yourself this question. Given your age, how do much older women relate to you ?

Women have dated around the same or not much older age with men for millenia. Although it does happen, but for an older 30 something woman to be dating a very young 20 something guy is VERY rare, without stating the obvious relationship this may be.

Mate, give yourself the opportunity to go and live life some. Alot of people will come in and out of your life. But enjoy what you have now, attraction with others can come and go too, but if its not reciprocated, dont get hung up on it.
 melty1
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 10
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Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:21:17 AM
lust maybe ! If they can give me a enough mental stimulation then why not!
 Naamah
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 11
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:57:37 AM
Of course we all work out the most likely age group we would probably like to (or be likely to) find a partner within, based on our observations and responses to the people we meet in life. But unless a woman is just hunting pelts or acting on a dare, partner selection is not normally just based on a number (age). I doubt a woman is going to be attracted to a younger man just because he is younger. It's not enough. A man is not automatically good looking or interesting by virtue of being younger. And it's not necessarily a compliment when a much younger man hits on you...sometimes it is flattering, but sometimes it's just funny, sometimes it's sweet but really awkward, sometimes it's kind of pathetic...it depends on the people concerned, and the scenario really.

As for what an individual decides about the most likely age group they would probably like to (or be likely to) find a partner within... it's just going to come back to the look and personality that presses that person's buttons, is all. Personally, guys who are ten, fifteen or twenty years younger, don't tend to push my buttons...but nor do older guys. Overall I am fairly comfortable that guys around my age suit me/my tastes best....with a tendency to lean towards slightly younger but I'm talking about 4 or 5 years younger like my husband was, possibly at a stretch 8 years like my last bf...practically the same age but the least weathered varieties ....not someone so much younger that I might feel like a mentor, teacher or...*ugh* parent. (If I could have been their mother...that's just so not an appealing thought). I want someone to grow older with, not be older for.
 photoman001
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 12
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:13:27 AM
So Naamah are you telling me that one liner in the pub isn't going to work for me? Maybe I should carry my CV, referrences and a bunch of flowers.
 Naamah
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 13
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:03:51 AM
^^^ Aww how could anyone resist your charms Photoman.

Speaking of picking up in pubs...as a certain other gobby forumite mentioned elsewhere, her and I inadvertently found ourselves in a section of a pub that was swarming with 20 year olds last weekend. (We had wandered over to the smoking section...and I guess all the smokers our age have quit, or died, by now, and thus we found ourselves on the set of Teen Movie III.) One of the lads who started chatting to me said something flirtatious, and I said, "Don't go there, I am old enough to have given birth to you." And he said, "Why on earth would you say that to a potential suitor?" (I swear, he used the word 'suitor'...perhaps he was trying to communicate with me by using the ancient language of my century? )...and I laughed and said, "But, you aren't a potential suitor." At which point he looked quite surprised, then slunk away...or as best you can in the sardine tin that qualifies as a smoking area in most pubs. Sometimes I wonder if it's assumed amongst young blokes that *cough* older *cough* women would always be thrilled and grateful for their attentions?

Ahh such youth...it only interests me if I can steal it.
 ~Oh-my~
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 14
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:40:44 PM
Age will cure this attraction for older women OP...by the time you are 40 you will be attracted to women half your age
 oolalagirl
Joined: 8/4/2009
Msg: 15
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:47:26 PM
hmmmm

Well, I'm not that much older than you (7 years...actually that's a fair bit)...and sure, I love to perv at younger guys.

But as for anything more....I can't really see a 20 year old fitting into my life very well....I can't imagine fitting into my life when I was 20.... and I'm not that much older ;)

At 20 life is fun, carefree with no responsibility. Add 10+ years (Or less) and less is a whole lot more about what you have to do, than what you want to do. I think the reality for a 20 year old dating an "older" woman (especially one with kids/career etc) is possibly very different than the fantasy.
 gamoto
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 16
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Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:39:50 AM
thats just sick
 JustJase
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 17
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/12/2009 3:01:10 AM
I am not young enough to know everything.

~ Oscar Wilde
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 18
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:34:52 PM
^^^^^^Love Oscar Wilde...............

I am not the type of person that could endure an annoying younger man.................I mean will I have to explain who Elvis is when Blue Hawaii comes on tv one rainy Saturday afternoon instead of just being able to enjoy it???

Nah give me someone closer to my age or older..................I want to enjoy my life with someone that I don't have to explain things to all the time. I mean that's what my kids are for! LOL
 soulmate08
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 19
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Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:22:46 PM
Hi OP...And this post is to you..op directly if others choose to read it.. well it's long.. your choice..




To some... this post straight away may lead to the thought of sex but definitely isn't.
I'm talking about friendships, relationships, just a chat, or a shoulder to lean on.

what I quoted you on.. leads to my answer.. ie non sexual..but a longing/desire to know older women/interact..as oppossed to cougars.. young men..(sex urges/interaction/relationship) have I got that right?..
disclaimer I am not against capitialism...
but that dosen't preclude being able to see both the pros/cons of a system.. so.. that being said..
The society we presently live in is structured predominantly as a capitalist one.. (yes throw in some other structures we exist with also)..

Now some of the results of such a society is.. money is the objective.. consumerism.. etc.. (what does this have to do with older women /younger men?)

This....humans.. are essentially a tribal/pack animal..capitilsm does not encourage this core human
interaction..which is another subject.. but relevant to touch on.. (so lets look at core longings.. as opposed to the society ..we live in which does not.. particuarly in cities.. deal with.. or recognise.. this inner desire of being a tribal/pack being)...
It means. nowadays.. people may have become more isolated?... less interaction with all ages/sexes.. thought processes.. stages of life.. maturity..ages etc..

So.. Ill use my community as an eg...(just the human..part.....avoiding ... social econimocal structure..)
here we have all age groups..
we interact.. daily with all ages...
for eg as a young male child.. you would of been taken with your mother(if she was alive)... to all the women gatherings.. you would of grown up.. knowing women of all ages.. they would be your adopted aunties/grandmothers..
as you grew.. you would of sat with/and know mature women.. you would of heard they're wisdom/life experiences..(so the part in young people drawn to maturity/wisdom.. confidence.. would of being fed.. completely.. with spirit love.. acceptance.. just because you were part of community.. you wouldnt ever have to resort to sex.. to feel.. that..)

So this part in young men.. growing.. might of been satisfied.. in respecting older women.. comfy within their own skin.. you would of been nurtured..you could go to anyone of them.. if your mum wasn't available..and needed help/advice...or comfort...
or you couldnt discuss.. the sometimes confusing aspects.. of getting moreeee testerone.. body changes.. attraction to girls/women.. and maybe not sure how to deal with it.?.etc..
whats expected of a young man with such urges?..changes?.. how does a young man attract women.. to satisfy these urges?.. how does a women..think/feel.. as a gender?... by interacting with safe.. non sexual.. aunties/grandmas.. you would of heard.. learn't.. all types of different women discuss such things..from age 1.... grown up.. concious of women/knowledge..
and when you were confused...
re longings/urges etc.. (or developed crushes on elders.. which can be normal..or part of the confusing... I feel therefore my feelings get expressed with sex.. ..ie you would of learnt different loves.. expressions of.. some go to respect/nurturing.. some go to lust.. some go to agape.. just your loved because you are.. you...and you dont have to do anything but accept that.. your loved..
but its up to the elders to set boundaries.. in.. knowing this.. and the stages...(both young girls//young boys)can go through...
knowing you will grow out of the confusing..times of finding out the difference between..hormones/urges.. love/lust... and being safe to do so..and having trust to feel such confusing things.. and nooone will take from you.. just let you evolve/grow through the changes..
and our boys? our young men?... as we get older they're respect.. they want to look after us... protect us.. as we age...

So op... maybe?.. you have not had interactions with women from aged 1-90?... like in my community..
where. maybe/.. because you havent.. you may see wisdom.. or confidence in older women.. they you find attractive?... and know it wouldnt have to be sexual?
where I live.. our young men/boys.. get this interaction.. so.. they go through that phase feeling quite safe to act out. to have such fantasies.. (because they're mothers friends.. adoptive aunties/grandmothers.. would never act upon .. them.. knowing full well young men and young women can go through these stages)..
its sadly lacking in some societies/communities...
where children donot get to grow up.. knowing all ages/community and feeling safe in their stages of acting out/developement..

these are just some thoughts... to consider..OP>.
maybe if you volunteer.. amongst organisations.. that involve older women.. you will learn their wisdom.. maturity.. etc.. and it might help you.. fulfill.. a need..
its just a thought to consider.. because nooone can know exactly your circumstances/desires etc.. so no judgement..on anyone.. cause.....yes there are women here..
who go for younger guys.. and men for younger chicks...
but they are not children..they saw grow up....
here.. that would be disgraceful.. to take anothers child you saw grow up.. at the age of 20?.....
but.. in our society.. people are more isloated... donot have that connection/learning of all aspects of relationships.. predominately.. so.. some have no boundaties..no issues.. they are not connected to .. others... so anything is ok...
im just saying.. if you had grown up connected with a community of ages/people...
your curiosity.. might of been qhenched as you grew..
And I say all this because you specifically indicated it wasn't directed.. sexually towards older women.. and perhaps these feelings.. are simply wanting wisdom on how women think/feel etc.. which is normal.. in development..
if you had said it was allllllll about sexual urges towards older women?... but you did'nt
I wish you well.
peace
 daffie
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 20
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/13/2009 5:05:39 AM
this "older" woman certainly doesn't...
 tarvold
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 21
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Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:10:50 PM
This is almost as sad as the day I found out that girls don't really have pillow fights in lingerie when they visit each other...
 piquancy123
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 22
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Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/15/2009 2:41:09 AM
Tarvold, next you'll be telling me there's no Santa or Easter Bunny. If its true that girls don't really have pillow fights in lingerie when they visit each other then I'm off to find a tall building to throw myself off...life just isn't worth living if thats not true!!!!
 aquagirl13
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 23
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:01:01 AM
To many older women younger guys are very appealing. IMO that's for a few reasons - younger guys can be uncomplicated, the older women are often just very flattered a younger bloke is interested - and there's the 'stamina' issue. :-)

Personally, I am generally attracted to guys my age or a little older (I'm 39) but if I really dug a younger guy and it was mutual, it wouldn't worry me in the slightest.
 perfectlyequal
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 24
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:46:54 AM
Stamina!

You're meeting the wrong 'older' guys :)
 Naamah
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 25
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:32:03 PM
So it seems the myth of of indiscriminate allure of the much younger man has been well and truly dispelled. I guess then I can let the young men out of my basement...you know, now I know they will be safe from predatory older women out there.



This is almost as sad as the day I found out that girls don't really have pillow fights in lingerie when they visit each other...

Of course we don't! Yeesh. Lingerie is way too expensive and fragile to be pillow fighting in. We pillow fight naked.
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