| Can a bad "relationship" trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:34:51 AM | Here is a very weird case I read about.
Having (or having been through) a bad relationship can "trigger" a sexual orientation change. In other words, a heterosexual person's "gay genes" can be triggered via a bad heterosexual experience. Whiles I personally don't believe this phenomenon, has anyway come across this experience (or personally experience this "triggering"?) Will you date someone with this syndrome? What guarantee are there that they won't change back?
This was a conversation I had with some friends who swear that it is true. If so, is the reverse also true? Personal experiences will be greatly welcomed. | |
|
| |
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:49:11 AM | Can a bad relationship trigger sexual orientation?
I guess now a days people need an excuse for anything "they" decide to do. I think if someone says "they" cheated on me so I'm turning gay", they are blaming other people for doing something they "wanted" to do all along. Personally people need to start owning their decisions in their life and stop blaming others. Would I knowingly date someone who likes the same sex, no. the only "guarantee" is that they would find a reason to me for wanting to be gay again. | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:51:47 AM |
mmmm i hve a frind thatsgay.. her kids dad is really ****in gay.. but she didnt come out till after he did.. so its possible..
Now wait a minute ! if they were both gay all along, didn't they pretty much end up where they started ??  | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:53:20 AM | IMO, they are gay or somewhere on the spectrum leaning to gay to begin with. There is no sexual orientation change, there is just exploring other options that they are open to. It could be that they are more open to exploring those options because they tried the hetero way and it didn't do it for them.
All of the older gay couples I know started out dating heterosexually, most were married to the opposite sex at one point.
I wouldn't date someone who saw their sexuality as a 'syndrome'. They would be too confused for me.
There is no changing back. They are what they are. Whether they accept it or not is a whole 'nother issue.
Haha, this whole thing reminds me of my sister when she was younger. She was tired of men. Tired of their BS. Didn't want to deal with men anymore, at all. She decided she was going to switch teams and check out women. She begged me to take her to the gay bar so she could go forth in her new life as a man hating lesbian. So we get all dolled up (gotta look good to go to the gay bar... those men are vicious when it comes to fashion!!), had a few drinks and head out. We are there all of 5 minutes when this very attractive, but very butch woman makes some sexually suggestive gestures to my sister who is tipsy enough to state, "eww... you nasty b*&$!" Needless to say, her foray into lesbianism ended right then. | |
|
| |
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:57:35 AM | No makeba, it's not possible. A person is either gay, bisexual or straight, they can't become one or the other any more than they can become a lion or a car.
Colt was absolutely spot on with his post. People who say a bad relationship "turned them gay" were gay to begin with and those particular people need to stop blaming others for the choices they made/make, about either their previous relationships or their current relationships. Maybe if someone was in a bad relationship they could be scared or uneasy about starting another relationship with someone, that's understandable on some level. But no, you can't switch teams because "someone made me". | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:59:41 AM | Gawd.
No.
Not if we're to believe all the "stats" purported by lesbians and gay men.
supposedly they do not choose their lifestyle, they are genetically inclined to seek sex with the same gender.
So I don't think we can legitimately embrace the idea of being scared gay.
But you made me laugh my azz off at the question - so bonus points to you! | |
|
| |
| |
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 12:35:24 PM | I believe the following sequence of events can happen:
Person A has a very bad relationship with person B.
Person A changes which gender they date and now person C, who is the opposite gender of person B enters the picture.
Now, does that imply that the bad relationship triggered the change? Not to my mind as there are a number of other factors that one could bring into the context such as person A being bi-curious all the time and thus could change which gender to date.
There is something to be said for what kinds of explanations one takes from such a sequence of events. I would date a woman who had a very bad lesbian relationship, sure. There wouldn't be any guarantee on not changing back. "Chasing Amy" was a Kevin Smith film that seems to fit into some of this in terms of how one's sexuality can change over time. | |
|
| |
| |
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:11:09 PM | as was stated earlier, yes, a lot of (if not most) gay people start out with some degree of denial. i mean, who wants to be the most reviled type of person in our society? so they often attempt traditional hetero marriage and so forth but finally get tired of living a lie. by that time there are often kids in the picture. and no, it wasn't the failed hetero marriage that prompted anything.
and sometime people are just in the middle, orientationwise. bisexual. so going from a relationship with a woman to a relationship with a man isn't the result of emotional trauma - it's just the exercising of an option. | |
|
| |
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:27:20 PM |
Is there even such a thing as "gay genes"?
Possibly, but current research indicates it's probably more to do with hormones in the womb during pregnancy. That's increasingly appearing to be why later-born children, especially in large families, are more likely to be gay than the earlier-born.
And, as is so often the case, davidpiano's explanation is the best... but I still think the OP's friends are just messing with her, anyway. I mean really. If this were the case, who wouldn't be gay? Almost everyone has a bad relationship sometime or other. Just part of the learning process. | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:13:37 PM | | ^^^^^Thanks for that Helen.The reason why I asked is because I don't believe there is such a thing as gay gene or straight gene..... My theory is that our bodies are genetically wired to enjoy both sexes...Our minds however have been trained to only accept the opposite sex and repress the same sex... The OP's friends could be on to something, during trauma a lot of things are triggered, childhood memories, repressed experiences etc...One of those 'repressed feelings' could just as well be our sexual orientation... | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:13:38 PM | Let's ask Mrs. Bobbit about her husband, shall we?
I'd say 'no', but I can see how people are fed up with the opposite sex and withdraw altogether. Only Rosie Palmer remains in demand. Back to the morning of Day 6... God's design flaw was not to give man a woman, but to give him ears. :-) | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:19:03 PM | "My theory is that our bodies are genetically wired to enjoy both sexes"
Mine is different but to each his own. Now what's your opinion on a FFM threesome? Thanksgiving is coming up and I need something to give thanks for. LOL
Stay beautiful...
 | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:24:45 PM | | I personally think change should come from WITHIN and not without. If you let every jackass change who you are fundamentally you will end up having no idea of who you are! Treat a bad experience simply as such, A BAD EXPERIENCE. No more no less. | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:27:24 PM | LOL...Wolftxus, a friend of mine told me this story that just confirms how much our minds control our sexual impulses...whilist in Thailand him and a group of guys sat at this table drinking whilist getting blow jobs, he, till this day swears it was the best he ever had...even though he later found out it was guy not a girl under the table.  | |
|
PiggyT
|
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 23 | |
| |
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:30:06 PM | There is no such thing as a "gay gene." That idea gained some credibility in the early 1990s, but has since been discredited. Most likely, sexual orientation is a result of a number of physiological, psychological and social factors.
I suspect the people who seem to be changing sexual orientation are those who's sexual orientation was fluid to begin with. I once dated a woman who identified as lesbian, and had for more than a decade. Who knows? I guess once every 5 or 7 years she meets a man who does it for her. But I still think she is primarily gay. The few relationships she's had with men were intense but short lived.
Maybe the trouble is that "gay" and "straight" are not the hard and fast categories we think they are. At least not for everyone. | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:31:26 PM | | I don't see how a bad relationship can trigger a change in sexual orientation unless the person is confused about their sexuality during that relationship. Otherwise, I can't see how anyone can stereotype the whole population of the opposite sex as being the same as their ex and avoiding them in order to pursue the same sex. I've had a couple of bad relationships and that made me more cautious in the future but didn't deter me from the opposite sex since I'm totally heterosexual. | |
|
| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:41:46 PM | | It's always been hard for me to believe that we aren't all bisexual to some degree when each of us are made up of like 49.99999999999999999999% of the genes of the opposite sex. The sheer math of it seems all but intuitively conclusive to these eyes. And there have been periods in certain societies where the prevalence of same sex hanky-panky far outpaced the norms in such a society as America today. | |
|
Home
login 
