| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:39:29 AM | A few months ago I meant a women and we had that instant chemistry together. We both knew it but we only dated a week and then she dumped me for somebody else she went out with a few times priar to me. Two days later she calls says she messed up so I decided to try again. Dumbass me did ask about the other guy and she did mention that he was really hot and musclar but did not make her feel sexy and wanted like I did and he was pretty much an emotional void.
Anyway two more great weeks of seeing each other almost everyday go by and the day after she tells me how much she likes me I get dumped again. Keep in mind everything was great between us from personalities to the bedroom. My reaction was like ok whatever. A month goes by and then last night I was basically horny swallowed my pride and just called her and asked if she wanted to have sex.
She said I am dating somebody and probably will go to hell for this but come over. So I did, the sex was great like it always was. Then she dropped the bomb that the person she was dating now was the hot guy. I was really upset as when she told me that I just felt really really ugly. I know what I am. I am a cute guy but am not gifted in the body department.
So it made me think WTF, I would have thought when somebody tells you what a great person you are, tells you nobody has ever fcked them as good as you and admits they still have feelings for you that that person would want to be with you. Instead she chooses to be with the hot guy.
Have any of you had this happen to you or maybe get scared of your feelings for somebody and dump them because of it.
And yes I realize it was my own fault I got hurt as I wanted the sex but I didn't realize I still had feelings for her outside of sex until after I saw her. I know I could never seriously date her as that trust needed for a more than FWB has been broken. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:53:17 AM | Oh shug you are looking at this all wrong, ok you got it at the end... You got a nice cheap piece of a$$, which is what you were looking for anyways. She was willing to cheat on mr hot for you..
Sounds like she's into the looks department for showing off to her friends, but likes the sex with mr average guy... What it says is that she is particularly shallow, and willing to spread the LOVE or her legs for whom ever. Which the question here is, do you really want someone like that???
She really has no respect for herself or for the people she dates...
Some people are like that, I have met that myself in the male gender... The best you can do is cut your loses, and remember that she doesn't have respect, hope you wore a rain coat... Just saying... | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:59:51 AM | | I don't think she is scared of her feelings for you...to her you are a FWB and nothing more. She didn't call you -- you got horny and called her. You got what you wanted (sex) but you also got your feelings hurt. If you don't want to be the FWB, don't call her. Simple. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:20:48 PM | She's dating the guy she has chemistry with and feelings for, and cheated on him for a piece of ass with you. What's hard to get about this?
Both your conduct and hers are reprehensible. You got what you deserve. Did you even think about his feelings if he finds out about this? Do you feel the least bit guilty about having betrayed this man?
Not everything is all about you. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:34:29 PM | Dave -
Look at your name on here. It YELLS
She is the reverse of the guy who finds a 7 in a chick. Great girl, Screws like a tornado twists, has a good job, can cook.. basically ALL the QUALITIES a grown MAN would want.
But the guy keeps pining for Megan Fox cause she is SO HOT.
Go see "He's just not that into you" and look at the character Conner and his obsession with the hot blonde and how he dumps Gigi to pursue the blonde.
This girl is Conner. You are "Mr. NiceGuy-in-the-Bullpen.
Dude, you will NEVER be her starting pitcher.. NEVER.
I dont quite "get" how a man your age "got feelings" for a woman who REGULARLY dumped you for Mr. Muscles. It would SEEM that you got smitten by the great sex. She never gave you anything else of SUBSTANCE to develop feelings over. (at least from your own words)
Go bang the crapola out of her every chance you get and make her a bootycall to relieve the stress WHILE you date kinder, gentler, NICER women who will value the "good guy" qualities you seemingly have
Oh.. Women LOVE the badboy. Lose the "good guy" exterior at the beginning. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:35:12 PM | i understand you have feelings for this woman, but i just don't see how you can consider yourself to have been dumped. you were never 'together,' you were just FWB for each other, so how can you be dumped?
i'm guessing this woman sees herself as 'monogamous' until she wants a fresh piece of candy. all those nice things she said were the post-coital glow talking. thing is, there's no reason not to take them to heart. could well be you are a great guy. just consider whether she's such a great girl.
looks like you can keep hitting it whenever she's willing, if you can compartmentalize your feelings. or you can find a woman who's on the same page as you.
also, sounds like you're got some body and appearance issues. you're interpreting everything she says and does as, 'the reason this girl doesn't want me as i want her is because i'm physically deficient.' therapy couldn't hurt; it doesn't mean you're a mental/emotional cripple. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:50:34 PM |
could well be you are a great guy.
No, it couldn't.
He went over and banged her after she told him she was dating someone and "probably will go to hell" for it herself. That sentiment doesn't exactly indicate an open arrangement. It indicates a boyfriend.
This poster is Not a Nice Guy - At All. Just a shot in the dark, here, but I'm guessing the man this woman's actually dating would agree. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:39:17 PM | Goodguy, you are assuming that she thinks you have substance. You are assuming that this guy is better looking than you. Quite simply, she liked this guy better. End of story.
She told you that a while ago. You didn't really get over it. You went over for a booty call and got one. Thought maybe, just maybe, it would get her back. It did not. Move on. Happens to the best of us. Don't let it hurt your self-esteem. Best of luck. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:04:29 PM | | She dated you both and picked him. When she was with you she didn't say you were second best? You were, and you still are. The only thing you're in the lead on (apparently) is that you want her sexually more - which is probably why she went ahead with the booty call. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 5:09:21 PM |
OP I think you'd like to believe that she has deep feelings for you but in reality I don't think she does. You seem like a decent man so I question why you're so attracted to a woman who cheats on her boyfriend, is a liar and a skank to boot. You deserve much better.
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katd40
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Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 13 | |
| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:33:20 PM | OP, she's keeping you around "just in case" this other relationship doesn't work.
You got what you wanted (pu$$y), so move on. I'm sorry you got hurt, but men do that to women too. Try to identify what sort of relationship you really want - fwb or friends in love. If fwb is all you want, who cares if she's got it for another guy? If you want to be in love, she's NOT the one for you. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:51:42 PM | Pam has actually said it pretty well, however I will add, that you don't exactly know what kind of person she really is looking for, and you really don't know what kind of guy he actually is...
Perhaps she told you all about his BAD SIDE, just to pump you up, and keep you around, because you ate the flattery up...
No matter the case, you need not beat yourself up, and then remind yourself everybody makes mistakes, because that isn't the point...
The point seems to be you want someone who wants someone else, a LOT OF love songs are written from that same scenario... Once again, will you win if she were to come to you after things fall to crap with him???
It takes valuing yourself to realize that you actually deserve better, especially if you think of yourself as having cutes, and substance... Just saying | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:55:15 PM | Dude, I hate being the one to pull up your posting history or comment on your profile, but come on... you are not officially divorced and are fighting for custody of your kids. Don't you think screwing around with multiple women should be the last thing on your mind? You want full custody of your kids? Maybe you should stop screwing around with random, nasty women. I hope if you do get custody you won't be bringing these women around.
Of course this girl picked the hot guy because A- He's hot and B- he's probably really single. And this also goes for your other thread about the chick turing you down after she gave you a BJ - You're not available to these wome, maybe that's PART of the reason they won't commit to you! | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:44:35 PM | | Atrraction can sometimes be all chemistry people. Nothing to do with looks or personality. I had this one partner when I was about 22. We didn't like each other much, but the sex. I'm 31 and I have had partners since, but the sex with her was so good that I sometimes wish I had never experienced it. I judge all else by how good it was with this girl. The point I'm making is that sometimes its biology, simple. I can't explain it, even today when we see each other, we avoid meeting, not because it ended badly, but because that wanting to have each other there and then is always there, and life moves on. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:03:44 AM | I'm not going to run down the expansive list of everything that's wrong with the opening post. However, I will say this...
I caught up with a girl I used to go to school with, a few years ago. I liked her, and found out shortly that she liked me a bit too (she openly said so). However, she tagged me along, wanting to "take it slow." Then when she started college up in UCLA, she started dating and sucking off some guy she'd known for a week. Not only that, but she consistantly hung out, and got wasted, with some other guy that she KNEW was a bad influence, but she couldn't help but get wet over every time she saw him.
Point of the story is, some people are just f*cked in the head, and there's nothing you can do about it. They have the emotional maturity that matches their shoe size rather than their age. All you can do is keep your distance and push them out of your mind. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:36:26 AM | Dave,
Stop feeling as if you are f..ked up,she is the one with the honesty problems.She has already proved that by going to bed with you while seeing him.He may not be as hot as you think,otherwise she would be into him and nobody else.Looks fade my friend and someday she may find herself very alone.And btw.........i see nothing wrong with your looks or build! | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:41:32 AM |
We all make mistakes in life just trying to understand why substance did not win out over looks is all.
Quite likely it did.
You're feeling sorry for yourself because you deliberately, knowingly slept with another man's girlfriend.
This is not the attitude or behavior of a person with substance.
Here's what you're not getting: You're the piece of ass. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:36:41 AM | I have been in a similar situation, but it was money not looks.
You let your desire overcome logic and prolonged the emotional attachment, you stumbled into a sort of 'open relationship', which takes a certain frame of mind to do.
Sex is just sex (however nice) - give yourself a hand job and save yourself the grief, run away now if your emotionally involved. In a months time your head will be sorted! | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:45:33 AM | Helen0426, I am sensing that you don't like me. Maybe it is the three posts saying I am a POS.
In reality she did not have to say yes and it is her responsibility to be faithful to him if it is a committed relationship. So thinking attacking me for that is pretty ridiculus but go ahead and post ten more reasons why I suck. | |
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| Chemistry and Feelings versus just a piece of @ss. I don't get it.
Posted: 10/12/2009 11:35:40 AM | Any person who claims to be good and decent would not knowingly have sex with someone who is unavailable, i.e in a relationship.
The fact that you think you're not as responsible is mind blowing. Where are your morals if you have any? Do you have values? Respect for yourself?
She must really be a looker for you to stoop so low. The fact that she was unavailable just added to the attraction, didn't it. You must've felt jealous and in competition. Like, what did that other guy have, that you didn't have despite the sex being amazing? I guess you felt like you had accomplished something at the time. Like you'd won. But really, you lost.
If I were a guy? I'd ask myself....what is about her that is loveable when she can't even make up her mind which guy she wants to be with? She's a user, a lier....a cheat. What's to love? Oh yea. That's right. She's gorgeous and a good lay. Yep. Forget how she makes you feel emotionally....just physically.
(I swear to gad. When will people ever learn???..............) | |
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