| Should a Lie Detector be installed on today's dating sites?
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:47:41 AM | The following is a little bit of fun that I've written and it's entitled "Dare to be Honest". It's a fictional game show that features some fictional characters,....but who knows,....they may remind you of actual persons. The Forums here on the site are pretty good and seem to be the one place where folks can really tell it like it is.
We now return to our regularly scheduled program,......
Hello everyone and welcome to this edition of "Dare To Be Honest", the exciting new game show that explores the complex and fascinating world of today's singles. So join me, I'm your host, Ken Mannekin, as we take a look at what makes the dating scene such a thrilling experience for all of us. Let's get started, shall we?
Please welcome.......Mike,.....he's a graduate of MIT and is currently working with NASA, as a consultant for the newly designed Space Shuttle Program. Well Mike, that's quite an impressive resume there, could you share a little with us about what college at MIT was like,....and of course, the Space Program?
"Um, Ken, I may have exaggerated a little when I did the original interview. I did go to college, but dropped out after about six months. As far as the NASA bit, well, I used to watch a lot of those Space programs on PBS and I just thought that it would sound impressive. What I do have though, is the good looks and superb acting skills that enable me to pull this all off. Dating gives me the chance to meet lots of attractive single women. Work?,.....are you kidding me? I sleep until noon every day and let my wife support me".
Your wife? Mike, I'm not supposed to make personal comments here, but you really are a despicable human being.
"That's cool with me, dude".
OK. Will you all welcome, Jerry,....he's a rugged outdoorsman, mountain climber, safari explorer and scuba diver,....at least when he's away from the corporate scene, that is. He's currently working as Executive Assistant for the Oil Export Division of Standard Oil. Tell us a little about your adventures, Jerry.
"Thanks Ken. I heard what Mike was just saying and felt like I should make a few corrections too. I guess that I fibbed just a little on my background. My only involvement with Big Oil was when I was working at one of their gas stations as a kid. As far as the outdoors part of it,....well,.....I'm not much of an outdoorsman or a scuba diver either. I did try a mask and snorkel once,....in a friend's pool,...but I inhaled a bunch of water,.....it's just not for me. My outdoor adventures are pretty much only when I have lunch at the Park across the street from work. I guess that I haven't ever really been on a safari either,....I did go on a trip to one of the National Parks with my mother once,.....but a chipmunk tried to get my sandwich. I was terrified.".
I know what you mean Jerry, the outdoors can certainly be risky at times.
Let's now give a warm welcome to,...Duane,... he's a professional Aircraft Designer,....and in his spare time, he's a NASCAR driver, sky diver and motorcycle racing Champion.
"Thanks, Ken. OK, I don't like to fly and know very little about airplanes. As far as the sky diving bit,...I've seen that in so many profiles, that I just wanted to sound exciting too. Also, the NASCAR driver thing is rather doubtful. That 3rd DUI really put a damper on my ability to get around. I have had some success posing as a Bad Boy though. I borrow my brother-in-law's Harley and leather jacket for my photos. The tattoos are fake too,....I just use one of those magic markers for my body art. It does take a little time to wash it all off,......but it's worth it. The ones who seem to really be after me are the married gals. They've become dissatisfied with their responsible and honest husbands and crave something, well, shall we say, a little more rotten. That's where I come in. The sex has been incredible,.....why just last Saturday night I had this chick,......."
Uh, wait a second Duane,....this is a family program,.....I'd better stop you right there.
Alright. Now it's time to bring out our three lovely ladies.
Will you all welcome, Marsha.........she's a part time Movie Set Director, Decathlon Champion, Art Museum enthusiast and professional Photographer.
"Hello Ken. Thanks for having me here today. Alright, I admit it. I've never even been to a Movie set before, and as far as sports,.......well, the only time I ever run is when there's a sale at the store on Haagen Daz ice cream. Art Museums are not one of my interests either, but I do enjoy taking pictures of myself and my friends at parties and bars. Anyway, I figured that it was time for me to try the dating sites,..... and get out those 20 year old college pics to use as my photos. I'm a down to earth type of girl and I'm pretty easy to please, as long as he's perfect looking and has unlimited wealth to spend on me".
Very nice, Marsha.
OK. Will you all give a warm welcome to,....Barbara,.....former Fashion Model, Financial Advisor and Community Outreach director.
"Hi Ken. I just want to say that I'm not like most of the materialistic people on these dating sites. I just think it's awful, how some of the other girls make out a shopping list for the type of man that they want. My requirements for a man? They're really quite modest,.....as you would expect. For me to consider even talking to him, he would need to have the following: a Corvette, a Harley, a yacht, a water skiing boat, a condo in Maui, a cabin in Vale and make over $100,000 a year. I've never been all that fussy about appearances either, but if the guy doesn't look exactly like Brad Pitt, well, this girl just isn't going to waste her time. I've never actually done any modeling. Community Service, well, when I come to a party, just my very presence there is a Community Service, OK? I'm that wonderful Ken and I don't mind saying so. One of my girl friends has told me that I have an ego problem,....but she's just jealous,....you know how people are".
Nicely said, Barbara.
OK. Let's all welcome to the show,....Linda,.....she's an expert in the study of Native Cultures and is an avid World Traveler.
"Thanks Ken. As an enlightened world citizen, I do have a profound amount of compassion and empathy for foreign cultures, but let's not kid ourselves here,.....the only place you'll find ME at is the nearest luxury hotel. Now don't get me wrong, I think that these Third World people are really terrific, but just keep them away from my luggage, OK? Anyway Ken, I just wanted to say that I find it to be so phony and pretentious, when folks go on and on about their world travels. It's very annoying. By the way, I've been to Rio, Mazatlan, Acapulco, the Caribbean, Vancouver, London, Madrid, Barcelona, Rome, Paris, Vienna, Munich, Switzerland, Denmark, Holland, Athens, Egypt,....and well, you get the idea. And it didn't cost me a cent, either. I'm not wearing this half inch of make-up and fire engine red lipstick for nothing, sweety".
Very nice, Linda.
OK. Now it's time to match up our perfect couple, based on the voting from today's audience. And the winners are,.....Mike and Barbara! (Cheering & Applause). | |
|
Home
login 
