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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .      Home login  
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 sexytanish
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 1
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I Was Curious about a question , That has been Puzzling me for a while
Can Two People who are total opposites make a make relationship work ,Even tho they like each other alot .
They dont share the same views on alot of stuff,they dont share the same Interest And They Clash Alot On Certain Stuff
Especially the basic Stuff, Marriage, Religion, Family.
Can It Really Workout .
I know the famous quote says opposites attract , But wouldnt someone who have at least some shared common interest and views have more potential to work out ?
Feedbacks would be so Appreciated .
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 2
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:29:35 PM
if they clash on certain subjects you mentioned, the answer no - won't be in the long run.
 ForumFlounder
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 3
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:34:00 PM
I believe interests can ( and perhaps there should be some ) different -- everyone can use a breather or two every now n then.

But if core values are not parallel then I don't see it working out in the long run either.
 sexytanish
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 4
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:46:45 PM
Yea I Know everyone does not share the same interest in life ,
but like you said core values are important but if one person have a total opposite view from you , is there any point to continue the relationship seeing that it wount go far anyway .
 ForumFlounder
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 5
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:51:33 PM
^^^ In that sort of scenario, I'd say it would then depend on how much two ppl are willing to compromise -- and perhaps LOTS of it too!

The way I seee it is: The more compromises one has to make, the more strain this will only have on the relationship. ... Then at one point, you may find yourself asking, "Why do I even bother with this in the first place??"
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 6
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:58:50 PM
In my experience, no. Not for the long term, anyway. The day to day grind of coexistance requires you have a lot in common. Sorry.
 sexytanish
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 7
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:06:12 PM
thanks i appreciate tthat post chitownguy ......
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 8
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Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:53:09 PM
YES, that is if the two realize that they have important things to them in common, and can mutually respect each others differences without feeling uptight or hurt because the other person isn't into what they are, or believe what they believe...

There has to be some sort of common ground between the two people, however past that differences can make for a very expanded relationship... It can be nice to have a partner that you have a ton in common, however sometimes love comes in the form of someone that is a lot different than yourself as well...

If every single thing was an argument, no things wouldn't work, because it would be flipping taxing day in day out...
 pamsfl
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 9
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:05:46 AM
OP, if you are clashing on your beliefs in marriage and family, I don't see it working out long term. I believe that you can be opposites on anything but core values...and sometimes that can be religion too, depending on how religious someone is. Everyone has their own set of "deal breakers" just depends on what yours and his are.
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 10
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Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:27:49 AM
I always thought that when people say that opposites attract, they are talking about from the outside point of view. For example, one person may be shy the other one far from shy, one may look like a conservative type of person but the other looks different. But when you look at the relationship, there is plenty in common like how they see the world or liking some things in common as well as the differences which allows them to have there own identity and interests or life. I think this is great because the relationship is complementing there lives rather then taking it over which is much better then sharing too much or too little in common. If your too different it is hardly likely you would be able to hold a conversation or hold one without arguing let alone have a relationship long term.
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 11
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:31:42 AM
If in the clashes what you end up doing is reconciling the differences, then you're good as a team for that, so it could be the reason for the relationship and last only until you got through them all. Or it could even be how you combine the two sides into a whole that is more than its parts, and leave you perfectly harmonious and fulfilling. Or it could mean you will never be able to agree on what to do and will drive each other nuts. How it can go depends on your predispositions and the importance of being right compared to the importance of accommodation.
 LLLLLEKEKEKKE
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 12
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:21:58 AM
To answer your question the answer is definitely not....I know that's not what you want to hear, but it is the truth and it's good that you came on here to ask before you waste your time. I learned the answer to your question the hard way, as i got into a relationship I knew it wasn't going to work out from the beginning however i continued with it, and tried to make it work.....Four years down the line i finally got fed up with it, after wasting time. The truth is there are alot of guys out here, and there are alot of guys who would be ideal for you, and that will have the same views....and that's who you want to be patient to find, because when you find him, you will be happy and life a much happier life than with someone who you do not see eye to eye: ) It also can be hard to let an individual go that you love, but you have to be strong and you will be ok, because like i said there are alot of guys out here and eventually you'll find one your happy with and that shares the same views as yourself: ) good luck to you
 CloudHidden
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 13
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:05:45 AM
Marriage, religion and family can always be talked about and compromises can be reached if both parties are willing to listen and budge a few inches. If the beliefs are carved in stone, then no, I don’t think it will work in the long run.

A bird may love a fish, but where would they live?
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 14
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Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:20:14 AM
Bosozokue
but it is the truth and it's good that you came on here to ask before you waste your time.


NO OFFENSE, but that is YOUR truth, your experience...

I had a bad relationship, the guy was controlling, know it all, angry just out control... However I learned a very great deal about life, and things I NEEDED to change about me, and how I dealt with others...

I took communication courses, and learned how to express my opinions, without insulting, or diminishing the other persons opinions, beliefs and feelings...

Some of us have extremely different views from a LOT of people, so learning how to be able to compromise is NOT a bad thing, NOR is it a bad thing to meet someone who is completely willing to respect your feelings, and beliefs...

What gets messy if a person is at the age of having kids, and having to deal with how to raise the kids, and if their are different beliefs, then what will the kids be taught...

Experience is only a waste when nothing is learned in the process, so that person goes back out and does the same thing over and over again...

I spent 9 yrs in a marriage that was NOT a great experiences, but once again I learned where I failed, and what I needed to do to be a better person... I hadn't learned good communication skills in my life, especially from my very unhappy parents...

My husband and I have a LOT of differences, the core we have between each other is mutual respect, core values such as how we expect faithfulness from ourselves for our partner...

We allow the other to believe what they need for what they see as their path, and respect and support the other in what they believe they need to do... As well we are willing to see WHY the other person believes what they do, and make compromises when it is needed... Sometimes there isn't any needed... IE: he has a thing about HIS towels being his... Meh, fine, no big deal, I just have to make sure my son, or guests no NOT to infringe upon things that he has a thing about...

Life is too short if the two of you are constantly fighting, however that doesn't mean two different people can't make things work, it just depends on the people...
 dot*
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 15
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:24:53 AM
I haven't read the responses to this thread, but I'll keep it short and sweet:

Interests- Don't need to be the same. I'd argue that you *should* have some different interests and you *should* have some that are the same. You'd want to spend some time doing the things you love together, but it's also healthy to do your own thing at times. As well, having different interests exposes each of you to something new and exciting. It's always great to try new stuff.

Values- I stronly believe that if your core values are different, you will *not* work out.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 16
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Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 11:14:33 AM
what initially attracts soon repels.
 C2H5OH
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 17
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Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:12:36 PM
Of course they can if they're two intelligent open minded people who understand that everyone doesn't think the same and respect each others views and opinions. I actually wouldn't want to be around an ignorant person that thinks that everyone in the world has to think just like they do.Seriously,would you want to be with someone who had the same thought process as you and you agreed on everything? That would get boring real quick.
 IrishGuy1983
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 18
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Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:31:34 PM
OF COURSE YOU CAN! Have you not heard the saying opposites attract, if you get on well why end it? Just keep on going having fun and see where it leads if it doesnt leads anywhere well at least you wont look back and reget not trying. Only thing is that in important in a realtionship is that you want the same things out of realtionship.
 jazmella
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 19
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:57:10 PM
Depends. Can they compromise (key word)? Can they find a middle ground? Can they agree to disagree? Can they find a happy medium? If so, they may be okay for the short term, but it's the long term which will prove most challenging.

There is such a thing as being too different, despite opposites attracting.
 julie1558
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 20
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:31:25 PM
No ....it can 't really work out. You can agree to disagree with a friend , coworker, aquaintance.....but not in an intimate relationship.
 1kindMan4U
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 21
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/12/2009 11:21:31 PM
Is this guy who is the TOTAL OPPOSITE the same guy from your other post that wont spend HIS money YOUR way on the vacation YOU wanted?

Honey.. from that post, and the underlying thread on this one

YOU wont be successful in ANY relationship until you find someone who will let you dominate them and do things YOUR WAY.

THAT's my feedback to you.. based upon your other thread too

You are SO NOT READY for ANY relationship.

On point.. No.. that quaint HARLEQUIN crapola about opposites attracting and then letting LOVE overcome ALL.. is just crapola..

I mean.. ask the Middle East if opposites attract.

Edit: I just read your forum posting history. girl, you need to get your stories straight.. You have been with 3 or 5 different guys and you say you've been with them for 6 months.. a year and 4 months.. and ALL of this history started 14 months ago.. FIVE guys at 6 months each is 30 months.. and ALL of them are within 14 months? sorry.. the math makes your stories all lies it seems..
 TNFILLY
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 22
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:27:47 AM
It depends on how much each person is willing to compromise. I believe that small differences can be overcome with compromise. The bigger the difference the less likely it will work with a long term commitment. I think a person will be happier if they look for a long term partner that is compatible.
 missbrandi28
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 23
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Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:39:50 AM
Well...other dating websites(the commercials on the tube anyway) say that you can be "matched" up with someone just like you, or close to it. To that I would say BORING! I would never want someone to be my follow along, or me theirs. I'm not saying two have to be opposite in that notion, but to have different likes, dislikes, tastes, styles..etc...keeps it interesting! Good room for argue, debate(the fun loving kind, of course!!)

But the basic stuff, marriage, family, umm...yea..that's more than necessary. Why waste your time with someone that wants kids, when you would rather croak than have one? Just not plausible...that's common sense.
 1lab4u
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 24
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/13/2009 2:36:05 PM
I think they can if they put Jesus first and everything falls into place. For instance why would I want to date some body thats just like me. Whatever I am lacking I hope my mate will have. Such as different talents, goals, and higher education.
 pnayplayr
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 25
Can two people who are total opposites make a relationship work .
Posted: 10/13/2009 3:41:25 PM
difference in interest is great, but difference in values (moral values) is a no no.
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