| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:28:02 PM | | I like being up front, saying the things most people are too shy to ask. Example: instead of wondering and wondering "Does he like me or not?" I typically just ask. Do you, as a man, find that intimidating or is it a good thing? | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:33:33 PM | | Honestly, I don't really know, it's one of those things that it varies from man to man. One man may be flattered by this and another man may be repulsed. In my experience, I had a woman ask me out "although by note in my windshield of my car, so technically she was indirectly upfront but I was flattered and went out with her. Another occasion I woman kept being extremely sexual and kept trying to kiss me, I pulled back, it depends, be you is the best policy in my opinion. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:34:22 PM | OP
I wouldn't find the question intimidating if it was done with an "eye" toward timing. It takes a while for people to decide whether they "like" someone or not, as it's not all about looks. If you ask, for example, "Do you like me or not" 1/2 hour after meeing someone, or ask the question just based on e-mail, I would think that the recipient of the question would find the question "premature" as opposed to "intimidating." | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:36:20 PM | I know you. You're that woman who blocks my view in the movie theater. Down in front! And take off the hat.
It's good to be direct and inquisitive when there is a bit of information stuck in the works, but generally the art of conversation presents abundant opportunity to explore whatever might be wanting an answer. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:42:55 PM |
I like being up front, saying the things most people are too shy to ask. Example: instead of wondering and wondering "Does he like me or not?" I typically just ask. Do you, as a man, find that intimidating or is it a good thing?
It's fine.
However, if you ever, when a man brings up the topic of sex, go ballistic, then you will have given up any right or expectation to be taken seriously about anything for the rest of your life. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:47:04 PM | | DEFINATLY A GOOD THING for me who is a serious guy who likes it when a girl is on the same page and not iffy that I have to second guess her interest and make moves that I am afraid will back fire. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:47:57 PM | I like being up front, saying the things most people are too shy to ask. Example: instead of wondering and wondering "Does he like me or not?" I typically just ask. Do you, as a man, find that intimidating or is it a good thing?
I find it quite refreshing. Although over the years I've learned that there are a few things men should not be upfront about when it comes to women. For example, when a woman asks, "does this dress make my butt look big?", the answer is always "no." Always. No matter what. Etc. Little white lies do have their place.
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:00:17 PM |
I like being up front, saying the things most people are too shy to ask.
You might like it, but how do other people react to it? It may be courtesy, not shyness, that keeps others from diving straight into the pointed questions.
I have always been turned off by women who announced early on that they liked me. It takes time to get to know a person, and announcing too soon that you like them implies that you simply want a boyfriend, any boyfriend, not them.
Dating is a game of cat-and-mouse in many ways, and putting yourself out there directly is like jumping into the cat's mouth. Furthermore, if both parties are interested, then there is no need for proclamations or contracts - it happens naturally.
For the sake of mystery, show some restraint :) | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:15:20 PM | Ya know.. I agree with your thinking. BE upfront and say what you are thinking, especially in your dating/romantic relationships. Men HATE trying to read a woman's mind or dealing with her MOODY CRAP. We want direct honest and blunt. But once said, and understood.. STFU and dont nag it.
You will find that SOME men will be intimidated. It will be good to learn that early on, those intimidated men ARENT for you. The ones that ARE for you will adore you.
HOWEVER.. be discriminating when out socially, in a crowd or in the work place. Upfront, blunt and direct will generally cause you grief since our world is all about faux fakery(I know redundant) people who are MORE about THEIR feelings, than truths. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:16:45 PM | Mademoiselle, the few sane women I have come across in my life were the ones who were upfront. And sane women are highly in demand despite the season. So being upfront is an admirable trait and it can make you a sane woman. On the other hand, there is a fine line between "normal upfront", which is what you want or need in a relationship then playing the "guessing" game, and the "crazy upfront", which is planning with your date how to stab a person and snatch their purse. Entertaining but pretty strange nonetheless!
Overall, being upfront is a much needed trait in the female species but if you go overboard it, you're most likely to stab a person.  | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:24:05 PM | Is it a good thing to be up front?
Only if you can handle being told the truth you demand to know.
Nothing worse than those "up front" women who are blunt and tactless, then throw a fit if they don't get the answer they wanted to hear. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:31:34 PM | Landra.. I CAN handle the truth. Just ask Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise.
Please my dear.. tell me the truth.. Is there any hope for me? for US.. for us both signing OFF of POF and dancing into the sunset? | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:40:45 PM | It aaaallll depends on how you ask.
I have a personal bad history with the PHRASE "up front," since in my days at college it was an excuse for rudeness in the guise of direct communication, but I do prefer direct questions to hints any day.
Of course, that doesn't mean you'll instantly get the response you might want, if I'm in my annoyingly playful mood, I might respond to "do you like me?" with "as what?"
I looove specificity. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:11:43 PM | Landra nailed it:
Is it a good thing to be up front?
Only if you can handle being told the truth you demand to know.
Be prepared for a truth you don't want to hear.
Personally I like upfront women, takes out the guessing, cuts down on miscommunication. But as some people have said, it comes down to timing. Asking someone when they barely know you might come across as needy/clingy type behaviour, or they might feel pressured to give you the answer they think you want to hear, when they haven't really decided for themselves what that answer is. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:19:46 PM | Something similar came up a while back. To me banter is improved with provocative questions to steer the topic and provide a source of of minor fire. Those can make true participatory conversations that both parties enjoy.
Many don't do that and questions can be less than conversational, and even if they're posed with a fresh outlook and a lot of positive things can spiral quickly into... well I'm sure you know. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:24:30 PM | | I don't like being flat out asked what I think of somebody. It usually makes for a very uncomfortable, awkward situation. | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:32:07 PM |
I like being up front, saying the things most people are too shy to ask. Example: instead of wondering and wondering "Does he like me or not?" I typically just ask. Do you, as a man, find that intimidating or is it a good thing?
Honestly, I think you should try and read his body language first and foremost. The body gives off unconscious signals all the time whether you're aware of them or not. Learn to understand those signals. If someone asked me when I was giving off the "I'm not interested" signals, it would be an immediate turnoff. However, on the other side of the coin, I might find it extremely attractive if I were giving off the "I'm feeling you" signals...nomesayin? | |
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| Is it a good thing to be up front?
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:52:27 PM |
Do you, as a man, find that intimidating or is it a good thing?
IMO questions are never intimidating.
The question you use as an example (IME) is only either annoying and tolerable, or annoying and intolerable.
IMO a lot of the "up front" and "keeping it real," and, "I don't play games," questions show that is the opposite of who they are. That they are actually doing exactly what they say they aren't, they've just rationalized and justified their perspective.
And they are generally annoying and show insecurity. A search for labels, guarantees, or to shift personal responsibility onto the other person.
What is intimidating is when they are holding a knife, a pot, and a bunny and asking loaded questions like that.
Up front is saying "I like you a lot. I want to see you tomorrow," or, "I am not romantically attracted to you. I don't want to date you anymore."
Up front is not questions like "Do you like me?" That is vague, subjective, whiny, and manipulative IMO. | |
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